The history of 'bride seeing' ceremony!

dear Cheeniya,

"It will be kollu bhaji with oats filling."...i am sure ma'am would have already dished out this ....maybe we can all start a new tradition, with the latest health conscious recipes....By the way i was reminded of the Ponnu parakarathu in the Saffola ad.....the girl talks non stop of food and expects the hubby to dish out all the yummy items!
Well now i can really dream of all these......What if i had thought of such questions in my Ponnu parakara time...mmmmm......okay .....now i am in my Dream world....let me stay in peace and happiness there! he he hee.........

dear cheeniya sir,
thats a superb post!!!i don't know what made you think about the origin of sojji-bajji we being south indians just love food and SB are all time favourite of many of us so probably thats the reason for it being an important part of pen parkum padalam probably if you conquer the man's tummy thats the way to his heart,so probably more chances of the guy saying yes!!!!this could be one reason apart from the others stated by fellow il-ites.
if there is one thing i miss in these days of pen parkum padalum in hotel is home made SB!!!!
regards
pavi

Originally Posted by Oviya

Dear Sri,

It was so interesting..

A pleasurable travel though mythology to sojji and bajji...

So, you were clean bowled by, 'unnai charan...'. Good for you. Escaped from so many sticky sojjis and kadak mudak bajjis. How were the ones which you tasted? Looks like your FIL, instead of keeping ice, used water to drench you.

Dear Oviya
To tell you the truth, I never got a chance to eat the S and B with my FIL dragging me to show his mysterious pipe lines that ensured unfailing water supply and such other innovative embellishments to his house. Things like lights that can be pulled up and down depending upon whether you wanted it to light the room in general or to focus on your reading material! I was so carried away by the in house Edison that the S and B were totally forgotten!
Sri

Originally Posted by sudhavnarasimhan

dear Cheeniya,

"It will be kollu bhaji with oats filling."...i am sure ma'am would have already dished out this ....maybe we can all start a new tradition, with the latest health conscious recipes....By the way i was reminded of the Ponnu parakarathu in the Saffola ad.....the girl talks non stop of food and expects the hubby to dish out all the yummy items!
Well now i can really dream of all these......What if i had thought of such questions in my Ponnu parakara time...mmmmm......okay .....now i am in my Dream world....let me stay in peace and happiness there! he he hee.........

Dear Sudha
Madam is beyond compare in making something out of everything! But I guess that it will be hard to be a guinea pig for such innovative people. I wonder who is the first person on whom she tries her innovations. Honestly, he should be paid five times that of the salary that a wine taster would be paid by the top most wine maker in France!
Happy dreaming!
Sri

Originally Posted by pavithrasriram

dear cheeniya sir,
thats a superb post!!!i don't know what made you think about the origin of sojji-bajji we being south indians just love food and SB are all time favourite of many of us so probably thats the reason for it being an important part of pen parkum padalam probably if you conquer the man's tummy thats the way to his heart,so probably more chances of the guy saying yes!!!!this could be one reason apart from the others stated by fellow il-ites.
if there is one thing i miss in these days of pen parkum padalum in hotel is home made SB!!!!
regards
pavi

Dear Pavithra
There is one thing that I forgot to add in my leader post. It is the habit of the girl's parents declaring that the S and B were made by the bride to be absolutely unaided. I remember my uncle asking in one house that anyone could make S and B but how about her cooking of daily food! That made the girl very shaky!
I always tell parents of girls not to brag about them unnecessarily at bride seeing ceremony but to stick to matters not relating to them! After all, I am a father of two girls!
Sri

This is the exact reason why i LOVE history! We have gone away from the true essence of the culture and behavior at the present moment. But one thing i want to note is, the women who chose the bridegroom - were of sufficient maturity in order to choose the right husband. Usually, the girls are generally told whom to choose. that on one hand, if you remember the story where Amba, Ambika and Ambalika were going to have a swayamvar - where they could choose their husbands, Bheeshma kidnapped them by force because as a tradition, girls from Amba's kingdom were betrothed to princes of Bheeshma's kingdom. While on one hand, Svayamvar is happening, arranged marriages were also happening. So there is really nothing much that has changed. In my opinion, everything were co-existing and are still co-existing at all time periods. Maybe the ratio is what has changed :)

Originally Posted by srirangani

This is the exact reason why i LOVE history! We have gone away from the true essence of the culture and behavior at the present moment. But one thing i want to note is, the women who chose the bridegroom - were of sufficient maturity in order to choose the right husband. Usually, the girls are generally told whom to choose. that on one hand, if you remember the story where Amba, Ambika and Ambalika were going to have a swayamvar - where they could choose their husbands, Bheeshma kidnapped them by force because as a tradition, girls from Amba's kingdom were betrothed to princes of Bheeshma's kingdom. While on one hand, Svayamvar is happening, arranged marriages were also happening. So there is really nothing much that has changed. In my opinion, everything were co-existing and are still co-existing at all time periods. Maybe the ratio is what has changed :)

Dear Srirangani
The story of the triple A was to become responsible for the death of Bhishma in the battlefied of Kurukshetra. You have brought it out as a fitting example of Svayamvar and arranged marriages existing side by side.
Frankly, though I have dealt with the subject of Bride seeing ceremony in a light-hearted way, no one can deny the beauty of the whole ceremony. I rember a lovely scene from 'Meendum Kokila' where Kama Hassan goes to see Sridevi and a little child of the girl's family making Kamal a toilet! It was an authentic version of bride seeing ceremony.
Sri

Dear Sir
What a nice comedy you have written. I was laughing so much. Bride-seeing formality is one set pattern going on for such a long time in our part of country like a school drill. Why they made rule of Sojji Bhajji ? I used to think. And one aunty told me nothing can go wrong with a sweet and a fried stuff and also people cannot eat too much of both that dishes. So economy, no ?

Nowadays, all bride seeing is by internet , so no comedy adventures. But so funny, long ago girls only had Bridegroom-seeing with swayamvarams !

For my marriage nobody went to see anybody. Whole family from both side went and sat in Sangeetha and ate masala dosai and coffee. So I dont had to fall at feet for anyone. And the music system was singing , instead of me. Afterwards, my husband always tells : " Thank goodness for that"

yours sincerely
swarnalata

Right my turn now!

My family was "Requested" to get me to Bangalore to see my would be hubby. Mom was horrified as normally boys came to girl's home. Times are changing she mused philosophically.

Poor me! I was in a state of utter confusion. All the Hindi/Marathi movies I had seen showed the girl demurly getting plates of tea/Onion Poha from the kitchen.

The ceremony went well & we agreed. He was the first guy I saw.

But Cheeniyaji, unlike you, my in law's family did not treat us any delicacies like SB. We got bakery fare : Chips, Vege Patties & Butter biscuits. All washed down with Badam Milk. (I still tease hubby about it). No Hubby did not get the trays of food/drinks from the kitchen, his sister did. He did not say a word to me.

But one thing, to while away the time, I stared at the lizard on the wall. It was chuck chucking away. It was the sign of times to come I guess.

Oh but before you say something Cheeniyaji, let me assure you my Hubby is no doubt named after Lord Shiva. He is no Dakshinmurthy. I in fact have become a permanent observer of Maun vrat after marriage.

Regards,

Corallux

Originally Posted by swarnalata.N.S.

Dear Sir
What a nice comedy you have written. I was laughing so much. Bride-seeing formality is one set pattern going on for such a long time in our part of country like a school drill. Why they made rule of Sojji Bhajji ? I used to think. And one aunty told me nothing can go wrong with a sweet and a fried stuff and also people cannot eat too much of both that dishes. So economy, no ?

Nowadays, all bride seeing is by internet , so no comedy adventures. But so funny, long ago girls only had Bridegroom-seeing with swayamvarams !

For my marriage nobody went to see anybody. Whole family from both side went and sat in Sangeetha and ate masala dosai and coffee. So I dont had to fall at feet for anyone. And the music system was singing , instead of me. Afterwards, my husband always tells : " Thank goodness for that"

yours sincerely
swarnalata

Dear Swarnalata
Eating in well-known restaurants in the name of bride seeing has become the in thing now. This new concept has probably come about for several reasons. First as you say, there will be no prostrating and singing. Secondly, every one will be deeply immersed in the menu card and there will be no time for personal and inconvenient questions. But if you think that there will be no occasion for any bitter arguments or fights in the cool ambience of a hotel, let me narrate an incident.
We went for the bride seeing ceremony of my son-in-law's sister at Hotel Matsya in Egmore. Every thing went through smoothly and we hardly talked to each other being busy attacking the eatables served. The ceremony was coming to a close when the boy's uncle remarked, after having consumed two plates of sambar vada, that the sambar vada of Saravanas were much better. My sambandhi immediately retorted that the ones we just consumed were heavenly. He added that the Saravana stuff was like rubber soaked in a bowl of hot water! He could have stopped with that but proceeded to ask the boy's uncle how he consumed two plates if he did not like it!
What followed would put the Kurukshetra war to shame!
Sri