An affair to remember!

As we grow older, we’ll all have one thing for sure. No no. Not cataract or arthritis. I am not here to give you some tips on how to be healthy as we get older. I have come to talk to you about the memories of childhood and youth. Everyone beyond forty or thereabout is bound to have some memories of childhood and youth. Some of them are very pleasant and some may be painful but with the efflux of time, a strange thing happens. Sweet memories get sweeter but painful memories become less painful. They do not hurt us as much as they did a decade back. Maybe in films, people wait for three generations to avenge a wrong done to their great grandparents but in reality, it does not happen that way. We just forget it and get going. Seneca sums it up neatly thus: “Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember!” Our mind has the great capacity of making an amalgam of all memories over a period of time in such a manner that all memories, sweet and painful, just leave a smile on the face. The longer the efflux of time, the stronger will be the smile!

There is a beautiful dialogue in the classic old movie, ‘An affair to remember’, that I can never forget. It is ‘Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories’. It is a very profound statement. Warm memories keep our hearts from freezing. Warmer memories keep our hearts glowing. It is a glowing heart that gives a twinkle to the eyes till our dying day.

Having extolled the virtues and benefits of memory, I must also mention to you about some of its practical problems. Everyone knows that memories keep the incidents and people involved insulated against aging. When we think of a dear classmate who we may not have seen for decades since we left the college, the picture that comes to our mind is how she or he may have appeared at the material time. If the passing years leave that person battered beyond recognition, the memories take a rude beating when we encounter that person now. There is no such problem with our childhood buddies that we keep in touch with regularly but strangely the memories tend to linger more on persons who have virtually gone out of our lives and there is no prospect of meeting them again.

Let me tell you a small episode from my life. I have a childhood friend by name Kumar. We are so close that my other friends usually refer to him as my alter ego! When we were in Presidency College he fell in love, as was customary in our days, with a junior student by name Abhirami. Soon this affaire d`amor became famous throughout the college. Initially the girl was very reticent but Kumar won her over completely with the help of a squirrel! This benevolent squirrel fell into the water closet in the Ladies’ Toilet one day and was desperately trying to keep its head above the water when Abhirami noticed it. Her loud shriek brought the entire college on its feet but no one had any idea about how to save the hapless creature. It was then our Kumar came rushing to the spot and without any hesitation put his hand into the closet and took the half dead squirrel into the warmth and comfort of his large palm. The fully soaked creature was gasping and trembling. Kumar rubbed its back tenderly like Lord Rama and fed it with some warm milk. Abhirami stood there transfixed with tears flowing down her ample cheeks. It was precisely at that moment, love swept Abhirami off her feet.

The affair lasted nearly three years and they were the role models for all aspiring Romeos and Juliets. Like all good love affairs, this one also did not end in marriage and when the break occurred, Kumar cried for three full days like a baby which was suddenly deprived of its favourite doll! The whole college had misty eyes for those three days as some kind of Requiem for their dead love. The days passed and we all got busy with our lives. We joined the same organisation to eke out our living. We kept meeting each other in the club till a year back on a regular basis when Kumar used to moon over his old flame with some typical gibberish. It was then it happened. We were at a family function of an old colleague when he took us to a shriveled old lady who looked like the twin of Mother Teresa and announced dramatically, “Know who this is? Abhirami!” Even now I find it difficult to describe the incredulous look on Kumar’s face on hearing these words! Right from that day, there is no more reminiscing of his affair with Abhirami!

“I'm always fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.” said Diane Sawyer. I am no less fascinated by the way fact diffuses memory!

Dear Cheeniya Sir ,

I had wonderful affair with this post! Reading it without a pause just shows the interesting way its written.
Yes as we say one thing that is constant is change but then one thing that accompanies change is the past. No matter what We always have some memories to think and reminisce about.
Kumar and Abhiramis story ,I'm sure most will relate to.You dont always get what you want and then you keep brooding until the time you realised that you are glad that you didnt get it.
I have so many memories of my past and its so nice to meet some old friends. Yes time and materials have changed people to quite an extent .Infact if you tell me to point out one thing in the world that I find totally repulsive its the nouveau riche.
But then thats a handful , there are so many who you love to have been associated over the years and are glad that you've stood the test of time.
The story of the squirrel is very interesting and well it wasnt a squirrel at that time it was cupid I guess.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading . The choice of words was very good,. the offhandedness was precisely put , and I am sure you will be flocked with FB's and FP of the month. An excellent affair!!

Regards,
Devika Mol

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

I might not be able to discuss much on the facts but onething to say you have projected the whole thing so well that i couldnot move my eye for a second .That was very nicely written about Kumar & Abhirami.


Regards
Mitra

Originally Posted by Devika Menon

Dear Cheeniya Sir ,

I had wonderful affair with this post! Reading it without a pause just shows the interesting way its written.
Yes as we say one thing that is constant is change but then one thing that accompanies change is the past. No matter what We always have some memories to think and reminisce about.
Kumar and Abhiramis story ,I'm sure most will relate to.You dont always get what you want and then you keep brooding until the time you realised that you are glad that you didnt get it.
I have so many memories of my past and its so nice to meet some old friends. Yes time and materials have changed people to quite an extent .Infact if you tell me to point out one thing in the world that I find totally repulsive its the nouveau riche.
But then thats a handful , there are so many who you love to have been associated over the years and are glad that you've stood the test of time.
The story of the squirrel is very interesting and well it wasnt a squirrel at that time it was cupid I guess.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading . The choice of words was very good,. the offhandedness was precisely put , and I am sure you will be flocked with FB's and FP of the month. An excellent affair!!

Regards,
Devika Mol

Dear Mole
You are displaying all the signs of an indulgent daughter! You are always full of praise and that increases the fear of my limitation. Will I have enough material to draw such liberal praise always? Hope I will!
You are right. There is something much better than getting what you want and that is not getting it! How true it is! Dont we spend more time brooding over what we do not get while we forget instantly what we get? I totally agree with you that the nouveau riche can be very disgusting but can make an excellent subject matter for case studies. I always look at such human aberrations with a lot of interest!
Yes. We may never know in what form Cupid makes his appearance. This time it was a squirrel in the closet! And he never fails to hit his target, the only instance of his landing himself in deep soup was when he tried to fool around Siva and Parvathi!
Thanks again Mole for your very warm appreciation!
Sri

Originally Posted by Mitra

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

I might not be able to discuss much on the facts but onething to say you have projected the whole thing so well that i couldnot move my eye for a second .That was very nicely written about Kumar & Abhirami.


Regards
Mitra

Dear Mitra
When someone tells me that what I write holds her undivided attention, I rank it as the best compliment ever and I feel very nice about it. Thank you for joining me here, Mitra
Sri

Dear Sri,
You are going the way of our other esteemed writer here. He invites us for chats, walks etc. You remind us of the few greener pastures in our younger days, call them affairs, which continue to be evergreen in our memory.
Remember, in “our” younger days, the very word “affair” was mentioned in only hush hush tones!!
I bet Abhirami must have had a great inner personality to look like Mother Theresa in her advanced age. If ever I am compared to Mother Theresa by anybody, that will be the most proud moment in my life because hers is gracefulness par excellence.
Perhaps you watch the Tamil Movies (very old ones) now shown on TV every night at 10.30 PM. The heroine of last night’s movie was looking like a luscious Kashmir Apple in that, whereas now she looks “grotesque” !
You very rightly said
Our mind has the great capacity of making an amalgam of all memories over a period of time in such a manner that all memories, sweet and painful, just leave a smile on the face. The longer the efflux of time, the stronger will be the smile!
I did have my share of small tiffs with my Mil initially; but finally over the years, they got totally wiped off from my memory and all that I remember now is her love whenever I think of her.
Wheher fact diffuses memory or viceversa, it is good for our own interaction with the same people, as we move along in life!
I have a doubt who Kumar is? - You??
Or did a squirrel play cupid in your life ever?

Love,
Chithra.

Dear Sri,
Its so beautifully penned.Each line speaks for itself.Why go way beyond to 40's, even at this age, i have started to look back at my school life and college life and my friends..I miss that life a lot...But, we have more responsibilities and duties to perform now..

You and chithu (in her blog) have kindled the nostalgic feeling in all of us!

Ha ha Cheeniya......you called it An Affair to Remember.....and looks like ur friend has stopped remembering by the end of your post! Again enjoyed the hint of humour ...what a shock for your friend looking at Abirami..! Did he realise what a shock it must have been for her also looking at Him!


Anyway it was post on lighter vein that i am still smiling and already getting lost in my childhood and youthful memories! Wonderful way to spend the day!

Dear Chithra,

I had to mention this ....i too saw last nights old movie and also mentioned the Same to hubby abt the heroine looking so beautiful, what skin tone etc and lo, you also had noticed the same! I am sitting up late to catch up with some of the movies again! WONDERING if it has to got to do With getting Old and catching up with Childhood memories ....ha ha............
I just happened to look up at the TV and i was watching the so called breakfast prog in German,.....and what do i see....a whole lot of ladies all 50 plus and 60s ,LEARNING to dance Step dance which according to them are good for movement etc etc.... and here i am sitting and wondering if i am already OLD enough to reminisce.

Dear Sudha,
Don't worry. At 50 plus if the Germans go the "dance way", we Indians go the "gita way" which is more mentally stimulating as well !
Reminiscing is enjoyable - let us not stop doing it !
I loved what you write to Cheeniya - I must trace Abhirami & ask her if she was more shocked on seeing Kumar & perhaps even thanked God, for you know, what!
These men, honestly, Sudha -

Love
Chithra.

Originally Posted by sudhavnarasimhan

Dear Chithra,

I had to mention this ....i too saw last nights old movie and also mentioned the Same to hubby abt the heroine looking so beautiful, what skin tone etc and lo, you also had noticed the same! I am sitting up late to catch up with some of the movies again! WONDERING if it has to got to do With getting Old and catching up with Childhood memories ....ha ha............
I just happened to look up at the TV and i was watching the so called breakfast prog in German,.....and what do i see....a whole lot of ladies all 50 plus and 60s ,LEARNING to dance Step dance which according to them are good for movement etc etc.... and here i am sitting and wondering if i am already OLD enough to reminisce.