Making a mountain out of a molehill!

If someone close to you is known for making a big issue of very trivial things, please do not despair but be happy that he is in the majority! A study conducted sometime ago by a voluntary organisation in a middle-class locality in Chennai has traced the root of big domestic fights to some very trivial issues in more than 95% of the cases studied. Smaller issues tend to become prestige issues causing irreconcilable stand-off between a husband and a wife and between mil and dil. Small differences of opinion or minor issues being repetitive in nature soon metamorphose into intense hatred and enmity. Statements like ‘if mil breaks, it is a mud pot but if the same is broken by the dil, it becomes a golden pot’ are all tell-tale signs of souring relationship.

Making mountain of a molehill is essentially a human characteristic that has been in existence from time immemorial. This phrase is sourced to an ancient Roman Poet, Horace of the First Century BC who first used the expression ‘Mountains will labour to give birth to a mouse!’ It will be interesting to note that even some of the revered sages of yore like Sage Durvasa excelled in this attribute. He was known for dishing out lethal curses even for very minor offences as in the case of Sakunthala. The poor girl did not notice the arrival of the sage, her mind having been solely occupied by her husband Dushyant at the material time. The Sage flew into a rage and cursed her that whoever was occupying her thoughts would completely forget her! The rest of the story is known to everyone.

When I first read Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing, I expected it to be a breezy comedy as a novel of PG Wodehouse but it was not so. Maybe the Bard considered the suspected infidelity of a woman as a trivial issue from the point of view of British aristocracy and hence called his play so! Unlike the characters of his other plays, the repentant hero, Claudio in this play, makes full amends in the end justifying the classification of the play as a comedy. Then only I realised that the major difference between a Shakespearean tragedy and comedy was that there would be no fatalities in the latter!

People who watched the recent aberrations in the cricket matches played between <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:country-region><st1lace>India</st1lace></st1:country-region> and <st1:country-region><st1lace>Australia</st1lace></st1:country-region> would need no better examples of making a mountain of a molehill. If Symonds bore a striking resemblance to our ancestors, it was no fault of his but if his hideous application of some skin cream to protect his face accentuated his apelike countenance, Harbhajan was not to blame either for pointing it out to him in sheer goodwill! How the sporting press revelled in making headlines out of this episode was sensational journalism at its best!

Remember Kushboo, the actress who had a temple built for her by her crazy fans? When she ceased to be the cheesecake that she used to be, people started paying attention to her utterances and when she once made some innocuous statement about woman’s virtue, all hell broke loose in Tamilnadu. Cases were filed simultaneously by her detractors in 23 courts! People even demanded her expatriation to another State! For a whole month, newspapers were full of this episode pushing out even news items relating to cruel molestation of women in Police Stations and other public places.

Some successful husbands are aware of the fact that major domestic upheavals are caused only by minor issues. They guard against this by some kind of portfolio allocations by which the wife takes all decisions only in respect of minor issues while the hubby confines himself to only major issues. What are the minor and major issues?

Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are left to be decided by the wife. The husband decides on very big issues like whether <st1:country-region><st1lace>America</st1lace></st1:country-region> should attack <st1:country-region><st1lace>Iran</st1lace></st1:country-region>, whether <st1:country-region><st1lace>Britain</st1lace></st1:country-region> should lift sanction over <st1:country-region><st1lace>Zimbabwe</st1lace></st1:country-region>, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. With that kind of an understanding, need I say that peace reigns supreme in such households?

 

Dear Satya
Vacation mudinju nanbargalai
Paarppathupola magizchi
Ungal FB kandu!
Edhu koduthalum sappidavathu
Mattumillai. Edhuvume
Kodukkavittalum punsirippodu
Niruthum ragam naangal!
Netru kooda Dalai Lama patri
Naan sonnathu romba sari endru
En manaiviyidam certificate!
Sri

 

Dear Corralux
That's a very sensible solution to a monumental problem. The ego clash occurs only when both try to do the same thing as we saw in the famous movie 'Abhiman' .If the wife sings and hubby just listens, they'll be the Made for Each Other couple!

But seriously I agree with your view point that making a mountain of a molehill is the trade mark of people who crave attention. They nurse a constant fear that if they dont make their presence felt, they'll be totally ignored!
Sri

 

Dear Chithra
Hindus believe that Siva is matter and Parvathi is energy. All sensible couples remember this and respect their mutual positions! I can speak for husbands firmly. We just dont believe in poking our nose in trivial issues where the wife is better equipped to handle them. This dawned on me on the very first day after my marriage when my DW made some critical comments about the vegetables that I had brought from the market. I remember her comment clearly till date!

That building up of Eeru to the exalted status of Perumal is a classic example of a molehill being made a mountain! I am waiting to hear from our venerable ILites on this subject!
Sri

 

Dear Sundari
Pondatti oorukku poitta endru Janagaraj madiri thulli kuthikkum aangal, maru naale sorndu poi viduvargal! 'Sandai poda aalillatta thambhi chandaprasandan' ellam chumma solradu!
Kuzhalinidhu yaazhinidhu enbar tham manaivi
ooril illathavar!
You are absolutely right there, Sundari
Sri