Super dumb aliens and super smart earthlings!

I love sci-fi movies. I have sat through movies like 2001-Space Odyssey, ET, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Star Wars without batting my eyelids even once for the fear that I might miss some action on the screen in that split second. I am one of those who strongly believe in extra terrestrial intelligence. I contemplate a lot on life in far off stars and what they will be like. I do find these sci-fi movies mentally very stimulating. Scientists have conceded long back on the possibility of the existence of planetary systems like our own solar system. They also concede that there are strong possibilities that there may be many other habitable planets, like our Earth, in the Universe supporting life. When movies like ET show the aliens visiting us from distant heavenly bodies, I feel overawed that while the humans merely keep sending unmanned spacecrafts to planets only within our solar system, these aliens could travel millions of light years to visit us occasionally.

Looking at these movies, if you think that we are very generous in accepting that creatures from the space are far more intelligent than us to be able to travel millions of light years to take a look at what is life like on Planet Earth, stop and consider this. While we are only too willing to acknowledge that aliens from the space are super intelligent, we always show them in the most grotesque physical forms as in ET. We also show them as no match for our skills as we drive them back to their places or even destroy them laugh, stock and barrel! We see every alien getting outwitted by even the most dim-witted of the humans!

These fantasies only confirm my belief that the humans are the most opinionated of all the living beings in the universe. The human race can be broadly divided into two categories, one that is highly opinionated and the other that is very finicky about others’ opinion in everything they do. The opinionated are the ones that keep insisting that a rabbit has only three legs. Even if you show them a normal rabbit with four legs, they will call it a genetic freak! They fit into Stephen Colbert’s definition ‘I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.’! If a list of world’s most futile things can be made, reasoning with an opinionated person would easily rank the first.

Opinionated people are short of imagination. Their minds are too narrow to be able to see others’ point of view. The rigidity with which they hold on to their opinions clouds their thought process and makes them quite unpopular. We come across so many of them in our day to day life and we find dealing with them as the most exasperating experience. The mind of an opinionated person is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you pour on it, the more it contracts! In dealing with them, we must understand that our purpose of being here is not to convert them but to enjoy ourselves!

The other category is even more pitiable. People who always keep worrying about what others will think must remember the words of Carlos Slim Helu-“When you live for others' opinions, you are dead. I don't want to live thinking about how I'll be remembered.” It is a great irony of fate that most of us let our decisions be governed by what the invisible ‘others’ will say. In fact, this situation is rampant in our country where we give a lot more weight to the opinion of the public in arriving at decisions regarding our personal lives.

When we have a daughter who remains unmarried despite advancing in age, we worry sick about what others will think rather than how our own daughter feels about it. In fixing her alliance, we are more driven by our anxiety about public opinion than the welfare of our children. Middle class people are more prone to suffer this complex than the affluent or the economically weaker sections. When I appended the text “To live respected and die regretted” to my signature a week back, I was just curious if anyone might ask “Respected and regretted by whom?” That is precisely the point that I am trying to make here!

Sri,
“Respected and regretted by whom?” I will not ask the question now..after you have pointed it out..well, I hope you never regret.

As I saw the heading was wondering what it is common between sci-fi and opinionated, but love the way you have really linked them... Yes, we human or should we say earthlings, think we are super and aliens are dumbheaded.

Coming to opinionated people well they are everywhere.(am i am one, I don't know, but does giving my fb here makes me one??). These are the people who will start with "IF you ask me", "Well this could be done this ..."

But though on a personal level, I don't live for the invisible opinions of others, the opinions of my very close ones matters to me.

On a social level, to strike a balance between the pros and cons in a matter, the opinions are needed.In a society structured on the levels of status, positions,opinionated people are necessary if we want everyone to get involved in the decision making process.

The other thing that comes to my mind is the story of the donkey, the father and the son, where the son is taken to task when the father rides, the father is ridiculed when the son rides..ultimately, this is what happens when we allow people's opinions to influence us.

I remember reading, If you shape your life according to nature, you will never be poor; if according to people's opinions, you will never be rich..how true...

Dear Shanthi
That is a classic example you have given. The father, son and the donkey story drives home the point that if you sit there and try to heed everyone's opinion, you'll ultimately end up carrying the donkey! At the same time, I concede your point that we cant afford to disregard the opinion of others if our aim is to arrive at a truly pragmatic solution but we must exercise caution when opinionated people are around to volunteer their opinion.
The superiority complex of the earthlings comes out vividly in every scifi movie. Take ET for example. The creatures who have come all the way to the earth do not even have a system of headcount when they take off from earth! They are shown so dumb! And who do they leave behind? One of their kids! Like we lose our children in Temple festivals!
Our attitude towards the opinionated should be like 'If I need your opinion, I'll give it to you!'
Sri

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

A very wonderful and apt writeup for these times. A lot of people are forever doing things based on the others opinion of them. And if you fall into my category of not really caring what people think about you,You are called a rebel.
Experiences in life teach people a lot of things.One such thing I learnt is :Do not tell the world your problems .70% are not interested and the rest 30% are happy about it.
People dont have to pay tax for voicing their unsolicited opinion, but it is up to each individual how much importance you give to others and how much liberty you give somebody to talk about you or to you.Of course the people close to you matter and should matter but the rest of the guest appearances on stage can move away please!

Regards,
Devika

Dear Devika
One such thing I learnt is :Do not tell the world your problems .70% are not interested and the rest 30% are happy about it.
It is not only a fabulous statement buttrue too. Maybe, there is a deviation of 5% this way or that way but it is absolutely true! I ask everyone the same question. What interest that a totally unconnected person will have in you? I do agree that there are some good samaritans but they are already in the endangered list!

It is an old saying that all world is a stage but the current perspective is everyone excepting us is a guest artist.The success of the drama will solely depend on how we perform our role! If we give too much importance to the guest artists, our story will be a total flop!
Sri

Dear Sri,
Sci-fi movies are never watched by me & I know not why, I do not enjoy them.
So, let me go to the second part of your post.
My

There are two kinds of opinionated people, according to me. You have discussed about the latter, but not the former.

Some have a firm opinion that only a few things are nice and the others are not. If we close our mind inside, we never see things in the open.
For example we always think only a fully bloomed flower is beautiful, whereas a flower gradually fading in the plant, shrivelling and falling has its own beauty. Perhaps, at this stage of my life, I love to watch it - possibly. There is a definite grace in it also.

You write
humans are the most opinionated of all the living beings in the universe
Let me tell you, living with a spouse who always thinks on lines of
What will others think? – nalu per enna solluva?
My thought process has choicelessly changed inspite of my resistance. For his sake, I am forced to give more importance to others' opinion (which he always imagines, according to me). Well, domestic harmony at the cost of sacrificing my own opinion !

You also write
The mind of an opinionated person is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you pour on it, the more it contracts..
Since he always thinks that way, I am going in for “cataract”, I sometimes feel – I do not know if contraction causes it. Ofcourse, he got it long time back. It is sad that he refuses to look at the visible me around him all the time, but is worried about the opinions of the invisible others.

About your signature, I had made a mention about it in my Gita post. I need your permission to append it to mine as well. I do not ask for anything more.
Not that we will ever know whether our death was regretted at all !
Perhaps you will know it, assuming wishfully if I precede you & say
Oh, Thy was done!
if it happened.

Love,
Chithra.

Have I rambled "ithu konjam over" ?

Dear Chithra
Hearing you talk about the beauty of a dying flower, I remember the famous Nat King Cole song 'The Autumn leaves'. It used to be a block buster in those days and one of my all time favourite songs.

"The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon Ill hear old winters song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall"

It is believed that a person acquires a serene beauty when he dies notwithstanding the ravages of the disease that he may have suffered in his last days. In that sense, I understand the beauty of a withering flower.

'oor sirikkum', 'naalu peru enna solluva?' etc have become hackneyed expressions though the fear of the unseen people's opinions is still remaining intact. Lot of people condition their lives to suit the opinion of unseen others and it is indeed a pity.

The ability to look beyond the visible is given only to the highly evolved souls and I am awestruck that Vish can do it. That's why he is probably at peace with himself all the time!

Please append my text to your signature if you think it is really worthwhile!
Sri

Dear Sri,
Appreciating Vish for anything & everything, I think, has become a compulsive habit with you !
well, now, I know, where I stand!!
Love,
Chithra.
To live respected and loved, to die regretted....

Dear Sri,
Like the saying in Tamil goes 'Arandavan kannuku irundadhellam pei' ( for one who is scared every form looks like a ghost). My stand is do what you want to, what you think is right taking in the opinion of those who matter. But if you have to please all around you then that is not the done thing. Even when someone tells me to help them decide, I say, we can help you decide but not decide for you. How many will stand by you if you are wrong and why expect them to after all it's your life? You are the best judge.
Iam not saying defy society, but don't keep doing things for their sake. I manitain harmony on the home-front and as far as possible make balanced desicions.

One such thing I learnt is :Do not tell the world your problems .70% are not interested and the rest 30% are happy about it.

These lines are so true.

Dear Janani
That's a very pragmatic approach to life. Like you say in your signature, we are only an option in others' lives. Why then give any more importance to them than they really deserve? That we can not please everyone is a well known fact and yet we try doing it all the time. As an executive of State Bank for several years in the past, I know it only too well. But trying to please all has been my terrible weakness. Maybe I valued the importance of my own popularity than the welfare of the institution that I served.
It is worse in domestic situation when our efforts to please everyone will land us in unnecessary difficulties.
I am fully with you when you say 'Iam not saying defy society, but don't keep doing things for their sake'
Sri