Spoilt brats and indulgent parents

Dear Lalitha
A good point! It is true that an affluent society is fast emerging thanks to the invasion of multinationals. It is not uncommon for bright students who are used to just about Rs100 per month as pocket money to get recruited in the campus itself by cash rich multinationals at salaries in excess of Rs 10 lakhs per annum. This new phenomenon is creating great income disparity. These people are likely to become extremely indulgent parents when they marry and beget children.

On the other hand, middle class parents wanting to give the best education to their children put them in high-end schools in which the most affluent children also study. When the middle class child observes the life style of the affluent classmates, he starts making undue demands on his parents to remain on par with his peers. This causes greater hardship for the middleclass parents.

I agree with you about the grandparents becoming a hurdle in the disciplining of children. If you ask me why it is so , I wont be able to answer. It may be perhaps due to the fact that grandparents have a stronger communication with their grandchildren than with their children. I suggest you ask Chithra Paatti for her views too!
Sri

Dear Kamla
Grandparents' indulgence is only protective in nature. If they ever show signs of going overboard with their indulgence, they are put in the place by the parents of the child. (I speak from my personal experience! )

How true it is when you say that "Almost all of us can remember one or more of them from our school and college days."! I studied in the Presidency College which is a co-education college. The kind of brats that you remember thronged the Presidency for admission for obvious reasons. They used to corner every available girl in the college by their antics. Their flashy life style used to be a great attraction for the middleclass girls.If ,in spite of these brats, I had my own standing with the girls, the credit should go to my innovative counter moves to offset the effect of thse brats!

Your defence of the working parents is well taken. It was not my intention to put the blame squarely on them but there are several instances of over indulgence resulting out of the inability of the parents to spend time with the children. It can not be denied that in the corporate rat race today, the young parents are forced to spend more time on their profession than on their families. I often used to wonder how celebrities like Indra Nooyi manage their time between their profession and their families. Writers like Sivasankari have focussed on this aspect in their stories of drug addicts and similar wayward children.

Parents of single child have got to do some soul searching from time to time about the the manner in which they bring up their children. If you look at the fatal road accidents involving youngsters on two wheelers in Chennai, you will find that a majority of them are single children. It is a great pity that indulgence can lead to even fatality. Too much spending power is another great hindrance to good upbringing.

A little indulgence is of course a factor in ensuring cohesion in relationships. But one must know where to draw the line.

Sri

Sri,

On the lighter side G and DS aka ( Gandhari and Dhirtarashtra ) had 101 children. 100 sons and 1 daughter who was called Dushala. I wanted to mention this yesterday but forgot...

I think i remember reading that the founder of child pschology saying that one child was a disease in itself... but today it is a different scenario..There are far too good single child and also parents also..

I feel an Indulgent parent is going to be spoil his kids whether it is one or 20..the number does not play a role. (again this is my opinion) .

I have seen very good,well behaved only child and also arrogant spoilt brats

Sri, I suppose this should go into the parenting forum as a debate with more views than restricting it here as your rambling...


Regarding,why GP's are more indulgent and pampering, here is what my MIL had to say, when I asked her.....when her kids were small, she never had too much time to look, enjoy and savour their pranks and childhood..and she sees her children in her grandchildren..and with less tension and more time she could enjoy every minute of it...

Dear Shanthi
First things first. Dusshala,the only female sibling of Duryodhana, is not credited with any bratish behaviour unlike her brothers. I did not find any need to drag her into the picture when discussing about brats!

But your concluding statement
"Regarding,why GP's are more indulgent and pampering, here is what my MIL had to say, when I asked her.....when her kids were small, she never had too much time to look, enjoy and savour their pranks and childhood..and she sees her children in her grandchildren..and with less tension and more time she could enjoy every minute of it..."
made a lot of sense. Coming to think of it, even I could vouch for that!

I am going to suggest to Malathy and Jey that they should open a forum for the grandparents in IL named something like, 'Grandies' Gorner' in the lines of Kids Korner!
Sri

Dear Sri,

I hope your GD's subscribe for gokulam...there is a column where granny answers questions...I would second for the granny's corner, it could be a instant hit...

Regarding dusshala not being a brat..I am not sure..but today both girls and boys are equally bratish.....

Originally Posted by shanvy

Dear Sri,

I hope your GD's subscribe for gokulam...there is a column where granny answers questions...I would second for the granny's corner, it could be a instant hit...

Regarding dusshala not being a brat..I am not sure..but today both girls and boys are equally bratish.....

But Shan, brat sounds more masculine than feminine! Dunno why!
Sri

Dear Sri,
Oh, my friend, HOW DARE YOU......!!!!!!!!!!!!
In one post, you mention me as Chithra Patti ( Ofcourse, I am one now) & in the following post, boast what a great (as though) Casanova you were, that you became a hit with the girls in a co-ed college !
Humility, where are you hiding???
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Chithra
Saying 'I had my own standing with the girls' does not amount to boasting of being a Casanova. I wonder if Casanova had any standing with his girls. 'Standing' usually means the respect we enjoy. Casanovas do not enjoy any respect!
Sri

Well, Sri,
Savaley, SamaLi !
No problem, Sri. No offence meant - all in fun!
Love,
Chithra.

Dear Sri,
Children these days are becoming brats, girls and boys alike because parents give in to all their whims and fancies.My DD sometimes asks for what her classmate has I tell her it's not the done thing always and sometimes she says ' You are a bad amma'. No problem!!! But she does realise that I do the best I can for her and my younger daughter also. If they think they can get their way by screaming or creating a racket the they are wrong. Thankfully both my kids prefer to keep mum, if i do not give in to their demands. But there are kids whose mothers let them eat in the canteen everyday. I do not do that considering the health point of view. Reasonable enough if she wants to do it when Iam aroundor once in a way. Kids are becoming more demanding and even the place that you buy thier clothes, lunch box, school bag etc. is discussed.I cannot be like someone else, I will teach her what values and principles she needs to learn from young age itself.
Unless discplined when young they will become uncontrollable later.