The top five regrets of the dying

Jey · Mar 18, 2015

There are some book you wish you hadn’t read. I am worried if this book might be one that belongs to that category.

I picked up this book, “Top five regrets of the dying”. This is written by a palliative nurse, someone who took care of people during their final few months. During those precious few months before their death, she asked all those people what they regretted most in life. She then organized them into top 5 regrets of the dying.

I was torn whether to read this book or not. On the one hand, I want to read because it can provide some perspective. At the same time, I don't want to read as it can make me out of sync with what everyone else is doing. After procrastinating for 5 years, I decided to read now!

I will share snippets as I read. If you have read this or similar book before, please comment below. We can share a conversation or two.

chillbreeze · Mar 18, 2015

Hi Jey, I haven't heard of this book. But the title seemed interesting and I looked it up online. The one thing that I often think about is what regrets I would have in old age when I look back at my life. Sometimes I consciously stop to think about if I would regret doing/not doing something later and then proceed. So I would like to know more about this book. Looking forward to reading the snippets you share.

helpmeangel · Mar 19, 2015

hi Jey,

I would want to read the snippets too. I would want to sort my affairs in order and make sure my family is all settled before I actually kick the bucket.

I would like to know the top regrets, so that I can try as much as I can to not have them when my time comes.

And yes, the book does seem to be pretty eerie to me, as it is based on real experience.

PriyaSrini · Mar 19, 2015

Hi Jey,

I too look forward to reading your snippets because I don't think that I can bring myself to read such books, at least for now. The experience of reading this book would be profound.

jingi92 · Mar 29, 2015

hi all ... this seems a real gud book ... thanks for suggesting .. hvng worked in hospitals fr soo many years ... i hv seen suffering first hand ... would surely love to read this and yes jey would like to read ur snippets ... hv you started the book?

Jey · Mar 29, 2015

It's a great book so far. Before I share snippets, let me share what the top 5 regrets are

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, no the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish I had let myself be happier

Jey · Mar 29, 2015

The first regret seems a lot more common, because it seems like we could spend decades doing things that the society and family expects of us, not the one that would make us happy. All the while convincing us that we are happy.

Without the backstory, the snippets don't make the full powerful impact it makes when read as part of the book. Nevertheless, here are Some quotes..

"Yet I carried on with the life expected of me for a decade more, the whole time knowing there was something else waiting but not having the courage to seek it. What kept me there most was the fear of ridicule I would face from some family members, if I broke out of the mould they expected me to fit."

PriyaSrini · Mar 29, 2015

Speaking of regrets, here is a relevant dialogue from a movie that I watched recently. The movie wasn't great so I won't bother mentioning it but this quote kind of struck me, it goes like " Regrets are like books that we will never get to read"

Am no pessimist but IMO, as long as there is desire there will always be regrets.

"Yet I carried on with the life expected of me for a decade more, the whole time knowing there was something else waiting but not having the courage to seek it. What kept me there most was the fear of ridicule I would face from some family members, if I broke out of the mould they expected me to fit."

Click to expand...

@Jey this is probably a thought on every person's mind, not just those who are dying. I sometimes do conform to familial/societal pressures for fear of abandonment.