Mastery over telling lies

Dear Shanthi,

Very nice post... Who does n't lie atleast once in their lifetime? As you mentioned, some lies are told to protect us or not to hurt someone's feelings or to have a peace of mind..

But I feel it is difficult to lie convincingly.. When I tell a lie, it reflects on my face... My husband finds out very fast if I am lying.. (Pls don't think that I lie often)

Sometimes, when we tell a lie to protect ourselves from something, it becomes necessary to tell more and more lies to make others convinced. To me it becomes difficult to lie one after other as i mentioned it will reflect on my face.

Manju

Shanti,

Gosh, I think we moms, are master in telling White lies to our kids!! I mean, so many time my son has caught me" amma why did you lie on the phone to that man saying appa is not there when he is there? And you say lying is bad!!), Then I go to explain all about the telemarketers and stuff......
Sometime, we lie just to give the kids a pschological boost or shock as the case may need!!,
But then, Lying when it affects another in a worst possible way is wrong , and so also , when kids lie to hide something from their parents...
Hey off to another topic, when it come to kids, I find boys to be more truthful than girls.... My experience, what yours? Another topic for a blog from you??

Nice blog about lies.
'white lies' even I like that expression, because I even follow that mostly.
Poiyilae pirandhu poiyilae valarndu...

I think 'aayiram moi solli kalyanam pannu' has become aayiram poi solli kalyanam pannu'

sriniketan

Thank you dear, actually i thought i will have to go :hide for trying such a topic. but your post relieved me..

yes we cannot avoid lying if it is protect our loved ones..even if not lying trying to be elusive...

Welcome to the club, I cannot lie convincingly and can catch hold of people who are telling lies easily....and land up in great problems later..that is another story...

True, we mom's are lying either by changing topics, being elusive and some times white lies..
OMG please forgive.... (May be god forgives mom's??)

I have to always give boost to the kids..my DS wants to have a go at the NDA but we know he cannot because of his physical fitness, but we always tell him he can definitely do it...
I know i am lying,he feels sure about himself because of our assurances...

My kids have been told that they will any help from me, if they hide things from me....

MY DS never tells lies ..my DD very rarely....so i am not sure...but boys are poor liars , but men are very good at...:hide
managing a lying kid is an idea for the parenting forum it will have better view there...

Thanks for stepping in....
Yes white lies is a nice word...an excuse for people
I know you are sweet honest lady...you will not even say white lines unless needed.

Thanks for that info..may be like most proverbs and sayings, this has also changed to

aayiram poi instead of aayiram moi..(thousand lies instead of thousand truths..)

I think thousand truths is actually very better...

sunkan,

thanks for stepping in. yes we have got used to using lies without blinking...i think we don't need to lie through our teeth anymore..

sure satya harischandra lived by his principle...and influenced a lot of people reading his life to tell the truth.
as of now I envy my son who does not tell lies..hope he can stay that way.

Hi Shanvy,

A very good retrospection of lying in different situations by different people.

All of us normally in our routine lives, tend to evade/divert rather than lie, either to make someone feel better or to ensure they do not worry and almost all the times to kids, as they still cannot differentiate the good from the bad at this early age.

Lying in the real sense of the term, is very bad, if the inner intentions are jealousy, greed, selfishness or with an intention to harm others.

I feel being truthful is much much better than the ill gotten gains of a lie. Its a matter of conscience finally.

thanks for stopping by.

As i said the literal definition in t he dictionary includes evading/skipping/hiding also an lie.

thanks for understanding it is only an restrospection.

I always advocate it is better to tell the truth and be happy, then getting stuck in a web of lies...

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

Hi Shanvy, Thx for the observation from the dictionary, really its been ages since I've looked up any word. Long time back, when I was an avid reader of Readers Digest (and had something called 'Time' !), I used to play those word games in the front few pages, it was good way to upgrade our word skill. Those were the good old days Ok, I'm deviating too much now....!

Coming back to your topic, hey, your joke is a good one, I guess the moral is no one gets away with a line like, "I've nevered lied all my life...blah,blah" !!! Not even kids believe that these days.

sumeru,
you are not deviating. My husbands Chittappa used to always have an dictionary to read as time pass. his command over vocabulary was too good. I tell my children that they can come and ask me only if they don't find it in the dictionary, i don't believe in spoonfeeding.

yes the joke is good and to the topic.that is why i had to post it.

Very different take on lies..Shanthi..It is quite interesting this thing about lies..for some people it comes so naturally they do not think twice about telling a lie..I read many years ago that Sri Ramakrishna told Vivekananda that everything about a person changes if that person tells even one lie even a white lie..This happens when Vivekananda tells something different really insignificant and can be called a white lie..After reading those linesI could not look at lies and white and black..they are all lies when we fail to tell the truth..I did not reply as soon as you posted bec i have a difference of opinion.. But in todays world I am sure everything goes !!

It was actually a looking at it with a different angle.

That does not definitely mean i lie everyminute...I am one person who cannot lie, and also have the knack of catching a person who lies..whether convincingly/or not is out of question in my case.

I have read about vivekananda, even gandhiji...

See, as DIL, when my MIL was under dialysis, everyday i used to tell her you will be ok things will be ok.. but i knew it was never the case, so in this case what do you call this ....i lied...i am not happy about it...but it is a small price for keeping her satisfied and giving hope...

The same goes for myself....I tell myself that i am fit as a fiddle everyday..but deep down i know i am not...the worst case of lying is called self - deception...convincing self that it is ok....

Again it is a different view....I anticipated that you had a different view, It is ok if you have an different view, i would have been happier if you voiced in the first instance itself.....that is the success of a retrospection..

my blogs are for open for being ripped apart.....

Shanthi,
I just cannot lie, when I lie I mean the kind that can harm anyone. White lies like the ones Vandhana and you have mentioned and like the ones Veda replies about your weight are I guess unavoidable at times. No offense to you. My older DD will not, cannot lie. It takes a lot of effort to do it I always think, because when you start the lie chain then it goes on and becomes too much to handle. I have seen many suffering because of this, so I take the safe route out. Evade the question, Keep mum, if I have to lie or forced to do it. No way!!!
Nice joke on the clergyman!!!

It is nice to know that you accept white lies are unavoidable sometime..I am really taking offense that you thought i will take offense..

As moms we are forced to say white lies...
But lie chains are really sapping on your mental peace and energy levels..it is difficult to maintain them...

I know that your older dd and my ds cannot lie..but i am keeping my fingers crossed for them be successful in that always...as it is a very difficult task as they grow...

evading and being elusive is a good technique.

Shanthi dear.....i used to tell lot of "White Lies" ..

As u say, i feel for the sake of pleasing others ..........we are very often pushed to say "White lies"..........and nothing wrong in that........then i very often ssay "whilte Lies"

and , in our family we used to say PULUGU ( whilte lies) is diff from POI.......(Black)..

PULUGU will never affect others........whereas POI ..is something bad which may affects others......

My son Krishna, never used to lie........TRUST ME..he is OOTA VAI.......though he sometimes try to hide from me some matters and after sometime he himself will convey it.........if somebody says that " he is LYing or suspect him...........he will cry.........and try to explain them in all possible ways that he is harmless.........and he didnt do so.......HE WILL FIGHT FOR THE JUSTICE ............untill we agree that , he is not fault , he didnt lie.............SO IF SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING ABT HIM......WE ( ALL OUR FAMILY MEMBERS ) BOLDLY USED TO SAY........DONT SAY LIKE THAT...KRISHNA WONT LIE..........





.

LM,

Thanks for your honesty.

Sri is also like K. Nice to know t hat K does not say lies..I am keeping my fingers crossed, they can continue to be the same way.....

Shan,

I personally hate lies. I have tried avoiding lies all my life. But being in a profession where lies are inevitable, I am guilty of lying by being elusive and by evading.

BTW, I knew you understood that I am telling lies to keep you happy, but I thought that was a secret.(Now i know it is a open secret. hahahaha).