Women, hats off to you!
Posted 8th March 2008 at 01:33 AM by rvnachar
WOMEN-HATS OFF TO YOU!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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This is day I can never forget in my life, not because I am a woman and am flattered by this celebration but because it was on this day that my maid was butchered by her own alcoholic husband during one of his regular wife-beating sessions, five years ago. What an irony! The whole world was busy celebrating a day in the name of women and the atrocities against women continued all around the world. I am sure she was not the lone victim on that day.
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That apart, I am satisfied that I could empower one woman-my next maid, after this tragic incident. A woman, who was a naïve and innocent woman, talking only Nepalese, taking care of her six children (including 3 step-children) and getting beaten up by her alcoholic husband, has changed totally today. None of her children was attending school and she got her step-children married off at nineteen and twenty years of age (two of them being boys). I forcibly admitted her three little children to school, after tutoring them for a few months. I take care 80% of their educational expenses. Today, the elder two children are in the tenth grade and the younger one is in the 2<SUP>nd</SUP> grade. She works in three houses, including my house and I save a part of her salary in a Bank account in her name. She speaks broken Hindu but fluently, knows perfect accounting, plans her daily routine very well and takes care of the children and the home, putting up a brave front before her alcoholic husband, who keeps forcing her to stop working and stay home! She boldly complained to her husband’s superiors about him, with our support and is eagerly looking forward to the day her children will start earning and sharing her burden.
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I have planned to put the children in some vocational courses, so that they can start working soon. I am happy to see the children performing well at school academically as also in sports and cultural activities. These children would have otherwise been slogging out as child labourers and the girl would have already been married off to some useless alcoholic illiterate guy. Though the maid has become very smart even to argue with me, I do not repent to have turned around her life, because three children’s lives have had a great impact. Whether they acknowledge my contribution or ignore me, I do not care. The maid now knows about her rights, her duties, the resources available, the attitudes of people, the value of money, the harmful effects of child marriages, the benefit of education and so many other things. She is proud that her children can read and write English and Kannada and are aware of so many things. What more is empowerment than this?
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Here, I also feel like discussing another issue, an issue of course not entirely pertinent only to women, but more often the women get affected because they are more in this field.
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Right from my childhood, I was taught that maids were also human beings and they too had feelings like us. So, in our house the maids were treated very well, though there were certain restrictions that my mother laid – no entry to maids to the kitchen and separate utensils for serving them food, because of deep impact of these practices in her. However, otherwise the maids got a share of all that we ate, were spoken to like members of the family, included in all our celebrations and assisted in all ways. Thus the maid who worked for us twenty five years ago still visits us once in a way.
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In my house, even those restrictions were given a good-bye and my children were taught to address maids with respect. Of late, I have started availing home nurse facility from the Red Cross Society to take care of my ailing mother-in-law. These nurses are all young girls between 16 and 25 years of age. My first nurse was a 23-year old girl from Kerala, who stayed with us for 15 months. I treated her like my own daughter, sometimes even more affectionately, as she was doing such a noble service at such a young age with total devotion. She got so attached to my family that she could not leave us, but had to leave as per the rules of the Red Cross Society and go to another house. Though she was meant to be doing only nursing, because of our love and concern, she was helping me around the kitchen and in all household chores. All my relatives and friends were in all praise for this girl and would talk to her lovingly. We had totally forgotten the fact that she was working for us for money, until the day she was called back by the Society. As you sow, so you reap! We were all in tears to bid good-bye to that girl, who went sobbing.
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The girl who has come now, is just twenty years old and within two months she has got so attached to us with her active participation in all the activities of the home, besides nursing my mil and filling the house with her loud and witty comments and giggles, that she already has started saying, “I wouldn’t want to leave this house. I have never been so comfortable in any house and nobody has taken care of me so well.” I am saying all this, just to prove what happens when you do not treat people who work for you on par with your family members!
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My earlier nurse could not stay in her new place even for a month, as the treatment was totally in contrast to what she got here! She went there to take care of a patient afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease and the job is really tough. She does not mind the harshness of the job, as long as the family members treat her well. But there, she was restricted in many ways. She could not come out of the patient’s small room; she could not watch television or chat with the family members; she could not wear her anklet-bells; she could not eat along with the family members; she could not receive or make any phone calls and so many other things. The family cooked separate dishes for the maids, including the nurse with just onions and tomatoes and they had to eat their meals in the wash area, near the dust-bin. She was not given a proper bed and had to sleep on a rough coir carpet and could sleep only during the night, as she had to sleep in the hall. Even when she fell sick, the family members did not bother to take her to a doctor and did not permit her to even sit comfortably in the living room, during the day. She lost two kilograms of her weight and came back crying incessantly! I was shocked.
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How can people treat someone who is doing such a noble job so badly? When will people stop treating other human beings differently on various grounds like caste, religion, economic status, working relationships, etc.? Can we even imagine our own children being treated thus in some homes? Nothing is more treacherous than such an attitude. We talk of slavery and racism in some other countries. What is all this then?
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I devote this piece for all the women, who are toiling to make our lives more comfortable.
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Sudha Narasimhachar
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Total Comments 9
Comments
 | I totally agree with you, we do need them and all my respects to them. |
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| |  Sudha, Good one from you. I like to treat everybody equal. I tell my kids they are supposed to give respect to the human, not to his work or status.... |
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| |  Excellent Excellent Excellent Dear Sudha My hats of to you..What you have been doing in your way in your world has definetly impacted this maids family and now her children thanks to you atleast have the chance to stand up for themselves and more..I am so glad you wrote this and shared here because you are a great source of inspiration..I truly admire what you have done your nature, and how you arebringing up children too.. You are a definet role model for all women.. keep writing.. |
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| | Dear Sudha, Glad to have you back here after a while. And what an excellent piece. Yes, our family follows the same principle as you . We used to have a 16 yr old girl working for us ( this was like 25 years ago). She was treated very well, and then when she was 20, my parents got her married off. To day her kids are both studying in college, and everytime, she hears that i am in town, she will come running to see me and spend the day with me. You are doing a wonderful service Sudha, may more women be empowered by you!!. |
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| |  wonderful sudha, your silent contributions are going to make waves for someone's life and it is history etched in their life, whenever they speak of childhood there was a lady sudha will be there with them, wonderful post and it is not for recognition some do it because they feel it is needed..sunkan |
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| |  Dear Sudha That was a very nice article. it is not the status of the person to give importance. But we have to give importance to the living object that is more important and even these poor section of people have they own self respect |
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| | Excellent blog Sudha. Hats off to you for empowering your maid and your treatment to your nurses. Our family values regarding maids were similar to that of your household. When I was a child, we had the same maid for about 25 years. She saw my father as a small boy and then us too. She was like a family member and she would have coffee only in our place. My grandmother and mother ( due to grandmother ) had restrictions like not entering the kitchen and using a different dicoction, etc.,. But she was very attached to us. Same is the case with my mother's current maid. Please keep writing more..! -Gayathri. |
| Updated 10th March 2008 at 08:36 AM by gayathriar |
| | Surely hats off to you Sudha!Dear Sudha, You are writing in Indusladies after a break. It is nice to see you here and nicer to read your blog! All of your writings have found a very special place in my mind and heart and this goes straight there. We need more people like you Sudha..I loved the way you questioned everyone about slavery and racism. Hear hear! This wonderful blog of your's has even made its place in the nominations for the FP of the month. Keep them coming Sudha. L, Kamla |
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| | Dear friends, I am flattered with so many nice comments for my blog. In fact, I was disappointed that I got no response for my blogs, because I got no altert messages. Hence, I was not checking this site. I was busy with other things. Thank all of you once again. If my words can inspire even a handful of people, I will be overwhelmed. Sudha Narasimhachar |
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Recent Blog Entries by rvnachar
- Every Moment is Enriching! (7th October 2008)
- Do the poor have a right to live? (16th September 2008)
- Children are Gods!? (27th June 2008)
- The Rich Attract Attention Even After Death (24th June 2008)
- The Violence in Us (27th May 2008)
