For love of God!!

Okay , this is not spritiual post.. but somewhat healing and soothing.. for me.

I am grappling with two minor sad events.. My fishy Taz died yesterday and The birdie house was attacked few days back. Now the bird is no more there. No idea who did it, it could be some crow or neighbours' cat or squirrel. But When I came back from office, I used to rush to patio to see birdie. This time I saw a ransacked nest thrown all over the floor and some broken egg shells. It seemed some natural predator has completed the ecological cycle and did what its supposed to do. My initial reaction was to close hall door and sink in Sofa.. I wanted to scream and shout.. but my wise grieving mind was just quiet and breathless for few minutes.. I collected myself back for my other routine for tea, gym and regular life.. For few days I tried to search birdie, she was no where.. after waiting for 5-6 days , I had to broom away her dream house and tackle the reality on its face. Its supposedly minor thing.. After all people eat birds on a sandwich everyday.. Why I am being so sensitive about something as trivial as that.. Some logic I gave to me mind..

But my heart kept forcing me to think more.. If God did make something like nature.. Why he wanted ecology to take its own course. Just because we feel our pain and happiness, doesn't mean we are only sensitive being on this planet. There is pain in every nook and corner of this biological cycle. Someone is always eating someone's dear progeny. Even Vegeterrians are not spared in that guilt game. Every time a flower dries because I forgot to water the plant, I feel as guilty as I felt when Taz died.

I always tell my husband that in process of living life, we have lost our basic purpose. Basic purpose was never to drive a car or fill bank balance or produce some star kids. It was just about experience being.. we rarely sit back to do that.. Whenever he s in mood to think on those lines, He too gets amazed that Yeah.. we indeed are lost species of this planet.

About Taz, I saw her in last few minutes too. And I could n't do anything about it. I was so helpless and pained. It can be draining process to keep a pet. But I have been through this pain in childhood also. One of our pet dogs died some twenty years back. we were so shattered after that , we didnt keep any more dogs after that.

I heard someone's reading .. "Pain is cathartic" I agree with it .. But I guess there is more than catharsis to it. I feel pain is humbling and humane. It keeps you close to your ownself.

Not sure If anyone has got their answers ever from life.. But I think it does give me some solace in knowing,at the end its not about us, its about how and what..How you lived , what you did with your life...

I heard in some interview.. "In the end, everything turns to dust".. Very true.. But is n't some dust more sought after than other dust!!