Grandmothers Quotient
Posted 18th September 2008 at 01:07 AM by padmininatarajan
I am a Grandmother and naturally most of my friends too are Grandmoms. The ages of these ladies ranges from 90 to 40+. In this day and age forty plus you may well ask. Well! If my friend, Malu got married when she was 18---it used to happen and is coming back into fashion whatever the laws may say—she had her first child at 19-20. Her daughter got married when she was 21. So the maths works out to Malu being a granny at 40+.
Now let’s talk about other pluses and minuses of being a grandmom. The sheer joy and delight that you experience when you hold your first, second, fifth grandchild in your arms is unmatched by any other emotion in your life. It does not become stale with more and more grandkids. In fact I would place it higher in a scale of ten than the ecstasy of holding your first born—that comes with a niggling memory of pain and labour (sic).
Some may consider this aspect a minus, but in my reckoning it is a big plus---The initial days after the childbirth used to be the domain of the grandmom. Diet, feeding, changing, bath, laundry, sleepless nights etc. used to be a grandmom’s job. Nowadays Dads, Doctors, nurses, child help books, TV, internet, peers etc. have thankfully taken over the job. So I love being a Grandmom without responsibility (in the Indian scene). My Grandmom friends do became drudges and drones when they go abroad for deliveries of their grandchild. I escaped this and enjoy the cooing and gurgling scene.
Another plus is that someday, if I need to take sole charge of my grandchild, she would be articulate and able to express her needs and desires. I can spoil her and when she becomes difficult, I can pass her back to her parents.
The greatest plus would be a captive audience to listen to all the stories that I can reel out—not necessarily the ‘when I was young’ kind of rosy tales that glossed over power cuts, lack of running water, narrow roads and orthodox lifestyles. This I can do sitting in AC surroundings with an attitude to match any teenager—“Will do chores if I want to, otherwise I shall just loll around”.
Now don’t you agree that there are many pluses to being a modern day grandmom apart from being glamorous, famous, stylish and …Hey! I’ve run out of adjectives!
Total Comments 15
Comments
 |  I agree its a great thing to become a grand mother though I have a long way to go Padmini. Many of my friends are grandmothers too and I can see their happiness when they share with me the recent photos of their grandchildren.. BTW I really dont think there is any minus at all in this position except when you have to say bye to your grandchild.. |
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| | Thanks Chitra. Many women resent that their dictats about care after birth based on traditional methods are not being accepted by their daughters and DIL's. They feel that their experiences are being belittled. Maybe I did not elaborate properly on this aspect. Women have to learn to let go...if they don't they will be the losers. Look at the birds and animals..they teach life's lessons and let their offspring leave the nest/den. Why can't humans do the same? Love PN |
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| | PN You have raised a crucial point about lettin go... If only we women know how to do that then life would be so easier.. I can understand it being diifcult but still it needs to bedone I think its more in a person's maturity. I move with all age groups from teen age to seventy plus. Many are friends too.. What I can learn from them is more than what I can give. Its important o widen your horizon and to grow both mentally and spiritually. Will be glad to converse more :) |
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| |  Wow Padmini........u claim u're a grandma but ur post presents the enthusiasm and energy level of a teenager...Young at heart u sure are ..  Congrats on being such a sweet and young grandma...ur grandchildren are truly blessed indeed...and i totally agree withu on the need to let go...The bird analogy was a good one. |
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| |  I agree with you Padmini...this era grandma's are young at heart and soul... Looking into your +s, sure everybody would enjoy being a grandma...if they let go of all the minuses associated with being a grandma.. sriniketan |
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| | Dear Soumya! Thanks for the compliments. I loved it and you made me feel a teenager all over again!! Whether that is good or bad is another issue all together. I have one granddaughter who twists me around her little finger and I enjoy it! Like all grandparents do. Padmini |
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| | Thanks Sri...why grandma's---all women need to learn to let go, right. We cause ourselves so many heartaches because we want others to be what we want them to be. Swami Dayananda says that the Value of Amanitvam is important.... Amanitvam, the absence of conceit Is acquired/gained by loosing manitvam What is then this Manitvam? ‘Tis the exaggerated self-respect That demands from others respect For ones achievements For ones accomplishments Regards PN |
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| | Chitra When we gain some education, a little experience and maybe a semblance of wisdom, then we puff up with pride saying we know it all. How simple it would be for all of us if we did as you say, learn from others that there is more than what I can give. It is important to widen horizons and to grow both mentally and spiritually. Give and take are two sides of a coin...Some people only take and take, while others do not give at all. There are people who also cannot gracefully accept what is given to them for they feel threatened. I have seen this especially in older people who cannot gracefully accept presents and gifts...I have no use for this. What am I going to do with this? I can buy things for myself. This colour is not what I like.This style is not mine. Thery forget that it is not the thing per se but the desire to give and share and enjoy the act. This is not a blanket condemnation, but I have really seen many people react this way. So how do we learn to accept with grace? Put on your thinking cap. Thanks for opening up the issue to a broader perspective. PN |
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| |  Hi PN, A grandmother is more proud of her grandchildren than her own offsprings. My mother had become a grandmother at the age of thirty two and she lived up to ninety three. She had eighteen grand children and during functions, she would be surrounded by her grand children and people used to admire/envy her. But she had sweated a lot to bring them up and it had not gone in vain. All her grand children loved her so dearly. Now I am a grandmother and have six grand children, but not toiled as much as my mother, but still enjoy. I feel that we were too much burdened with domestic cores when our children were young and could not fondle them, where as we can spare time now to our grand children. One thing to remember is: " Detached attachment." If we get too much attached we have to suffer. Love, PS |
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| | Padmini, The quotes of Amanitvam by Swami Dayananda, puts everything in a nutshell.. expectations and demanding..the two things spoil our outlook of life.. sriniketan |
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| | Some of us missed the fun of bringing up our children due to various factors; but as grandmother/ grandfather with time at our disposal, we enjoy the moments we spend with our grand children. With experience (and Wisdom?) on our side, we now seem to be able to relate better with our grandchildren than with our own children years ago. Shyamala Rangar |
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| | Dear Shyamala Thanks for your comments. I think that is/was the case with our parents and our children as well! Grandparenthood is relationship without responsibility...we just enjoy the kids, spoil them and love them. PN |
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| |  Hi grandma!That is a nice one padmini!I belong to the 40-90 years group.I also enjoy being a grandma without responsibilities. I raised my kids myself, without any help from elders, and this has enabled me to get more positive response from my daughter and DIL.Sure, I don't volunteer, but pitch in whenever needed.Your observation about the 'information explosion' sure has enabled us grandparents enjoy our autumn years unlike our predecessors. Am with you 100% about 'letting go'. |
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| | Thanks Kalu More power to you for having brought up your kids on your own. You are right--voulnteer do not overpower. They should feel free to ask us help when they want and not when we want to give. That I think is the secret of a healthy relationship. God bless! Padmini |
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| |  I want to be a mom first...only then i can think of the grandma position...How fortunate you are?? |
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Recent Blog Entries by padmininatarajan
- Deepavali--Then and Now (26th October 2008)
- Grandmothers Quotient (18th September 2008)
- The zero factor (13th September 2008)
- Hobbies (1st August 2008)
- Cooks Ahoy! (1st July 2008)
