Retired and happy - A story
Posted 4th April 2008 at 11:35 AM by MeenLoch
It was the summer of 2030. The couple were staying in a small apartment they had purchased back in their working days. Radha was 72 now and her husband Sri was 81. They had seen it all in their lifetime, births and deaths, marriage and festivals, new persons in their family and their lovely grand kids.
They have a daughter and a younger son, both employed and well settled with their family and kids and way busy with their lives. The new members, their son-in-law and daughter-in-law in their family were lovely, caring and cooperative.
Every weekend the daughter called and enquired about their well being. What more can they expect from a woman who already has her own family and friends, her own set of problems and her career ? It's her turn to live.
They had accepted the new generation and the concepts of westernization well. Although they chose to live with their own old lifestyles, they embraced the new world well. They had stopped forcing their ideas and values long back. Sometimes they were heard and most of the times even their conventional or wise thoughts were ignored by their own loved ones. So they lived in peace with this truth.
Their son was very successful in his field. He had settled in US and made trips all over the world often.
Isn't this something they had always dreamed of - A settled life for both their kids ? Everything they struggled for all their life was accomplished and it was time to turn inwards. Their little banterings were still present as a testimony to their 40 year old marriage. They had also been to US a couple of times, but what can beat the morning filter coffee, the temples and the soil which they were born in ? They preferred to stay in India, even if it meant taking care of themselves on their own. They did have servants to clean, cook and do daily chores. So there was little effort involved. This scene, was opposite to their 30s and 40s when they did not have enough time to do it all. They were running and chasing and extremely busy all the times. Radha was married into a huge family. She was always occupied with daily chores, necessary shopping and she would even repair electronic stuffs around home. She had crossed two caesarian with her children's birth followed by her hernia operations. She was active and living it all anyways. She was looked upon by her own relatives.
As for Sri, he was always running behind time, to office, for his children's admissions, for his siblings and for everything. He had resolved that he would volunteer for social cause even before he retired and that kept him busy now for half the day. He also organized religious gatherings and during evenings he helped his wife, something he had never done before. As for Radha, she was still the lovely understanding mother her kids could come and talk to, but this time there was a difference. It was over phone, less frequent and obviously the issues they talked did not have any childlike innocence.
Radha and Sri have a past together with a family, children and perhaps a roller coaster ride so far. Time had run very fast, but years had bonded them so well that they cared for each other as they would care for themselves. The memories of the four as a family crossed both their minds often. They wished if they could move back the arms of the clock and re-live the entire experience, with the pillow fights the four had, the outings they had together, the fights both Radha ans Sri would have on buying them stuff and then making up, the limited income middle class but a happy family. Strangely the resources "time and money "were all there, but the niche they had carved for themselves wasn't. Now it was all behind them. The children had to leave the nest and build one for themselves, as the conventions in the world would have it.
They just had to confront the fact that it was just two of them in the end, till death parted them. Also this was something that they never thought their life would eventually be like - With little needs, with a matured thinking and with love for fellow beings and god.
They have a daughter and a younger son, both employed and well settled with their family and kids and way busy with their lives. The new members, their son-in-law and daughter-in-law in their family were lovely, caring and cooperative.
Every weekend the daughter called and enquired about their well being. What more can they expect from a woman who already has her own family and friends, her own set of problems and her career ? It's her turn to live.
They had accepted the new generation and the concepts of westernization well. Although they chose to live with their own old lifestyles, they embraced the new world well. They had stopped forcing their ideas and values long back. Sometimes they were heard and most of the times even their conventional or wise thoughts were ignored by their own loved ones. So they lived in peace with this truth.
Their son was very successful in his field. He had settled in US and made trips all over the world often.
Isn't this something they had always dreamed of - A settled life for both their kids ? Everything they struggled for all their life was accomplished and it was time to turn inwards. Their little banterings were still present as a testimony to their 40 year old marriage. They had also been to US a couple of times, but what can beat the morning filter coffee, the temples and the soil which they were born in ? They preferred to stay in India, even if it meant taking care of themselves on their own. They did have servants to clean, cook and do daily chores. So there was little effort involved. This scene, was opposite to their 30s and 40s when they did not have enough time to do it all. They were running and chasing and extremely busy all the times. Radha was married into a huge family. She was always occupied with daily chores, necessary shopping and she would even repair electronic stuffs around home. She had crossed two caesarian with her children's birth followed by her hernia operations. She was active and living it all anyways. She was looked upon by her own relatives.
As for Sri, he was always running behind time, to office, for his children's admissions, for his siblings and for everything. He had resolved that he would volunteer for social cause even before he retired and that kept him busy now for half the day. He also organized religious gatherings and during evenings he helped his wife, something he had never done before. As for Radha, she was still the lovely understanding mother her kids could come and talk to, but this time there was a difference. It was over phone, less frequent and obviously the issues they talked did not have any childlike innocence.
Radha and Sri have a past together with a family, children and perhaps a roller coaster ride so far. Time had run very fast, but years had bonded them so well that they cared for each other as they would care for themselves. The memories of the four as a family crossed both their minds often. They wished if they could move back the arms of the clock and re-live the entire experience, with the pillow fights the four had, the outings they had together, the fights both Radha ans Sri would have on buying them stuff and then making up, the limited income middle class but a happy family. Strangely the resources "time and money "were all there, but the niche they had carved for themselves wasn't. Now it was all behind them. The children had to leave the nest and build one for themselves, as the conventions in the world would have it.
They just had to confront the fact that it was just two of them in the end, till death parted them. Also this was something that they never thought their life would eventually be like - With little needs, with a matured thinking and with love for fellow beings and god.
Total Comments 13
Comments
| | Very nicely written Vidya.. so very interesting depicting real life too.. Got to prepare for the inevitable dont u think? keep blogin.. If you write this well you must be a journalist.. great skills:) |
Posted 4th April 2008 at 06:42 PM by Anandchitra |
| | Dear MeenLoch, I really do not know, whom you had in mind when you wrote this; but it reflects verbatim my life today! I too have a son and a daughter who flew out of our nest more than 20 yrs back. I can see that their priorities have changed completely. We accept it whole heartedly. We talk in theory so many things & give advice to others etc but when it comes to your own children, acceptance comes very late & next step is just leaving them undisturbed in every way, mainly without advice from our end. It was at that time, I made the following lines as my " new profile": In all my relationships , rather interactions , I give my best. I work hard to mature & cherish them. My attachment with them is complete. However , I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. Most importantly , I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead. Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why !Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house . But this life has its own enjoyment and I have realised, feeling of peace is in the mind and not in the being! For a young girl, you are very mature in your thinking process. Way to go, ML ! Love, Chithra. |
Posted 4th April 2008 at 09:01 PM by Chitvish |
| | Dear Meenaloch, Almost all the older generation people can identify themselves with your blog. Only thing is some of them might have taken this change in their stride happily and some might go in a depressive mood. I too fully go with Chithra and enjoy this life. Detached attachment is the best solution to lead a peaceful life in old age. Though at times it is difficult to practice, in the long run it could be achieved. A very well written blog! Love, PS |
Posted 5th April 2008 at 05:01 AM by Pushpavalli Srinivasan |
| | Dear Meenloch, Wrote about a very good thing...My parents are never demanding..I'm planning now, in this vacation, I have to be with them most of the times as a tribute, for the freedom they gave me..I was totally free...Though they carved no limits for me, I set some myself..I used to decide on my own to ask for desire or not..So, whatever I asked were granted for sure.. Thank you for giving the opportunity to remember my parents once again with heart full of gratitude. |
Posted 5th April 2008 at 02:18 PM by Oviya |
| | Dear Meenloch, I have no such experience as I dont have kids,but I still could see the real life events as they unfolded in your mind ---- very nice job. |
Posted 5th April 2008 at 06:22 PM by Parvat |
| | Dear Meenaloch You have narrated the thing what is happening in my life. I felt as if i am looking my own life. Viji |
Posted 6th April 2008 at 06:16 AM by vijikrishnan |
| | AC , Thnx for the encouragement. I think it will be a pleasurable experience reading what you like, not thinking about future or past, stress-free and peaceful, provided we accept it completely. Chithu Mam, Thnx for gracing the comments area with your presence. 20 Yrs is a long time. I read in Shobha De's book called 'Spouse', that these days mom-in-laws are so happening that they have so many things to do other than interfering in DIL or son's life. You are quite happening Have always liked this concept of "detached attachment". I feel it actually builds a stronger relationship with lot of respect and love, on a long run. "Samsaram Minsaram" movie has Lakshmi moving out. Remember ? It requires maturity not to expect at all and it's blissful to be matured. Way to go Chithu mam. |
Posted 6th April 2008 at 04:40 PM by MeenLoch |
| | Pushpa mam, You are extremely right. Not everyone can take this change in life so happily. It takes years and mental maturity. Mind always expects reciprocation for all that you did for children in past, so can we blame the couple here ? Occupying oneself helps. Thanks for commenting here |
Posted 6th April 2008 at 04:45 PM by MeenLoch Updated 7th April 2008 at 07:42 AM by MeenLoch |
| | Oviya, I am in same situaton as you, very thankful for a fabulous life they gave me. The reason I wrote this was to think from their shoes. From our side we should make them feel more valued, as every son or daughter would say..Thnx for commenting dear Parvat, Thnx for the complements and comments here. I just had to be them for a while. I like your username - Parvat Vijikrishnan, This post to some extent summarizes what my parents do, although they are not that old yet. I think it s time to see inwards for people whose children have left the nests. I want all such parents and old couples to get selfish for the first time probably and just think of themselves and follow all dreams they couldn't pursue so far. People even take up new courses and degrees. Thnx for visitng by, dear VK mam |
Posted 7th April 2008 at 07:42 AM by MeenLoch |
| | Dear Meenloch, How beautifully you have portrayed the retired life of senior citizens.It seemed as if you had videographed the whole scene!! Such a young person like you has been able to depict the whole gamut of feelings and thoughts of an elderly couple so well. As an elderly couple, we could relate perfectly with the empty nest syndrome and take consolation in the fact that there are scores like us all over the world.We tell each other we have come full circle ....we began with just the two of us didn't we?!! Cultivating hobbies and having a few close friends among your own age group is the only answer for this part of one's life. Great reading , enjoyed it.Treat us to more such.All the best. PAULINA |
Posted 11th April 2008 at 11:15 AM by Paulina |
| | Dear Paulina mam, Thanks for encouraging me. It felt so good to have received a comment from English Lit graduate. I glad you liked the story. As I said before, I had my own parents in mind. I was in their shoes when I wrote this. Thank you again |
Posted 11th April 2008 at 02:48 PM by MeenLoch |
| | hi meenloch, enjoyed your short story as i cud relate it with so many of the elderly couples in our family ...with most of their children staying abroad they have a quite relaxed life in india with lovely memories and look forward to visits of their children.... mindi |
Posted 14th April 2008 at 04:55 AM by Mindian |
| | That was a short and sweet reply. Thnx Mindian Their lives are relaxed, but they sure miss the good old days as they call it. Loneliness is boring unless they occupy themselves. Life suddenly starts blooming again. |
Posted 14th April 2008 at 09:05 AM by MeenLoch |
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