Retired and happy - A story
Posted 4th April 2008 at 12:35 PM by MeenLoch
It was the summer of 2030. The couple were staying in a small apartment they had purchased back in their working days. Radha was 72 now and her husband Sri was 81. They had seen it all in their lifetime, births and deaths, marriage and festivals, new persons in their family and their lovely grand kids.
They have a daughter and a younger son, both employed and well settled with their family and kids and way busy with their lives. The new members, their son-in-law and daughter-in-law in their family were lovely, caring and cooperative.
Every weekend the daughter called and enquired about their well being. What more can they expect from a woman who already has her own family and friends, her own set of problems and her career ? It's her turn to live.
They had accepted the new generation and the concepts of westernization well. Although they chose to live with their own old lifestyles, they embraced the new world well. They had stopped forcing their ideas and values long back. Sometimes they were heard and most of the times even their conventional or wise thoughts were ignored by their own loved ones. So they lived in peace with this truth.
Their son was very successful in his field. He had settled in US and made trips all over the world often.
Isn't this something they had always dreamed of - A settled life for both their kids ? Everything they struggled for all their life was accomplished and it was time to turn inwards. Their little banterings were still present as a testimony to their 40 year old marriage. They had also been to US a couple of times, but what can beat the morning filter coffee, the temples and the soil which they were born in ? They preferred to stay in India, even if it meant taking care of themselves on their own. They did have servants to clean, cook and do daily chores. So there was little effort involved. This scene, was opposite to their 30s and 40s when they did not have enough time to do it all. They were running and chasing and extremely busy all the times. Radha was married into a huge family. She was always occupied with daily chores, necessary shopping and she would even repair electronic stuffs around home. She had crossed two caesarian with her children's birth followed by her hernia operations. She was active and living it all anyways. She was looked upon by her own relatives.
As for Sri, he was always running behind time, to office, for his children's admissions, for his siblings and for everything. He had resolved that he would volunteer for social cause even before he retired and that kept him busy now for half the day. He also organized religious gatherings and during evenings he helped his wife, something he had never done before. As for Radha, she was still the lovely understanding mother her kids could come and talk to, but this time there was a difference. It was over phone, less frequent and obviously the issues they talked did not have any childlike innocence.
Radha and Sri have a past together with a family, children and perhaps a roller coaster ride so far. Time had run very fast, but years had bonded them so well that they cared for each other as they would care for themselves. The memories of the four as a family crossed both their minds often. They wished if they could move back the arms of the clock and re-live the entire experience, with the pillow fights the four had, the outings they had together, the fights both Radha ans Sri would have on buying them stuff and then making up, the limited income middle class but a happy family. Strangely the resources "time and money "were all there, but the niche they had carved for themselves wasn't. Now it was all behind them. The children had to leave the nest and build one for themselves, as the conventions in the world would have it.
They just had to confront the fact that it was just two of them in the end, till death parted them. Also this was something that they never thought their life would eventually be like - With little needs, with a matured thinking and with love for fellow beings and god.
They have a daughter and a younger son, both employed and well settled with their family and kids and way busy with their lives. The new members, their son-in-law and daughter-in-law in their family were lovely, caring and cooperative.
Every weekend the daughter called and enquired about their well being. What more can they expect from a woman who already has her own family and friends, her own set of problems and her career ? It's her turn to live.
They had accepted the new generation and the concepts of westernization well. Although they chose to live with their own old lifestyles, they embraced the new world well. They had stopped forcing their ideas and values long back. Sometimes they were heard and most of the times even their conventional or wise thoughts were ignored by their own loved ones. So they lived in peace with this truth.
Their son was very successful in his field. He had settled in US and made trips all over the world often.
Isn't this something they had always dreamed of - A settled life for both their kids ? Everything they struggled for all their life was accomplished and it was time to turn inwards. Their little banterings were still present as a testimony to their 40 year old marriage. They had also been to US a couple of times, but what can beat the morning filter coffee, the temples and the soil which they were born in ? They preferred to stay in India, even if it meant taking care of themselves on their own. They did have servants to clean, cook and do daily chores. So there was little effort involved. This scene, was opposite to their 30s and 40s when they did not have enough time to do it all. They were running and chasing and extremely busy all the times. Radha was married into a huge family. She was always occupied with daily chores, necessary shopping and she would even repair electronic stuffs around home. She had crossed two caesarian with her children's birth followed by her hernia operations. She was active and living it all anyways. She was looked upon by her own relatives.
As for Sri, he was always running behind time, to office, for his children's admissions, for his siblings and for everything. He had resolved that he would volunteer for social cause even before he retired and that kept him busy now for half the day. He also organized religious gatherings and during evenings he helped his wife, something he had never done before. As for Radha, she was still the lovely understanding mother her kids could come and talk to, but this time there was a difference. It was over phone, less frequent and obviously the issues they talked did not have any childlike innocence.
Radha and Sri have a past together with a family, children and perhaps a roller coaster ride so far. Time had run very fast, but years had bonded them so well that they cared for each other as they would care for themselves. The memories of the four as a family crossed both their minds often. They wished if they could move back the arms of the clock and re-live the entire experience, with the pillow fights the four had, the outings they had together, the fights both Radha ans Sri would have on buying them stuff and then making up, the limited income middle class but a happy family. Strangely the resources "time and money "were all there, but the niche they had carved for themselves wasn't. Now it was all behind them. The children had to leave the nest and build one for themselves, as the conventions in the world would have it.
They just had to confront the fact that it was just two of them in the end, till death parted them. Also this was something that they never thought their life would eventually be like - With little needs, with a matured thinking and with love for fellow beings and god.
Total Comments 13
Comments
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Posted 4th April 2008 at 07:42 PM by Anandchitra
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Dear MeenLoch,
I really do not know, whom you had in mind when you wrote this; but it reflects verbatim my life today! I too have a son and a daughter who flew out of our nest more than 20 yrs back.
I can see that their priorities have changed completely.
We accept it whole heartedly.
We talk in theory so many things & give advice to others etc but when it comes to your own children, acceptance comes very late & next step is just leaving them undisturbed in every way, mainly without advice from our end. It was at that time, I made the following lines as my " new profile":
In all my relationships , rather interactions , I give my best. I work hard to mature & cherish them. My attachment with them is complete. However , I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. Most importantly , I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead.
Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why !Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house .
But this life has its own enjoyment and I have realised, feeling of peace is in the mind and not in the being!
For a young girl, you are very mature in your thinking process. Way to go, ML !
Love,
Chithra.Posted 4th April 2008 at 10:01 PM by Chitvish
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Dear Meenaloch,
Almost all the older generation people can identify themselves with your blog. Only thing is some of them might have taken this change in their stride happily and some might go in a depressive mood.
I too fully go with Chithra and enjoy this life. Detached attachment is the best solution to lead a peaceful life in old age. Though at times it is difficult to practice, in the long run it could be achieved.
A very well written blog!
Love,
PSPosted 5th April 2008 at 06:01 AM by Pushpavalli Srinivasan
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Dear Meenloch,
Wrote about a very good thing...My parents are never demanding..I'm planning now, in this vacation, I have to be with them most of the times as a tribute, for the freedom they gave me..I was totally free...Though they carved no limits for me, I set some myself..I used to decide on my own to ask for desire or not..So, whatever I asked were granted for sure..
Thank you for giving the opportunity to remember my parents once again with heart full of gratitude.Posted 5th April 2008 at 03:18 PM by Oviya
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Posted 5th April 2008 at 07:22 PM by Parvat










