Aan Kaanal
Posted 18th October 2009 at 08:25 PM by knot2share
Updated 19th October 2009 at 11:19 PM by knot2share (Grammar again!)
Updated 19th October 2009 at 11:19 PM by knot2share (Grammar again!)
After completing my degree from Madras, I left my college hostel and went back to join my family in Secunderabad. The fun life of college and hostel was over and I had to start hunting for a job. My grandmother was already behind my parents to start looking for a match for me. My parents wanted me to work for a couple of years before they got into the serious business of looking for a match. I was delighted too. So I started applying for jobs, meeting people and recruiting agencies, writing different entrance examinations to get into traineeships and nothing was working. Finally we decided to approach a relative of ours for help. They were kind enough to help me out. And so, I started my working career. It was not paid for 6 months and I was game for anything at that point. A couple of months into the job, I found out that the company was recruiting Graduate Engineer Apprentices and so I put my hand up. I got through the selection and was recruited as an apprentice with a stipend of Rs700 per month. That was like a lottery. I had joined for nothing and now Rs700 was a sweet bonus. I was happy to contribute my little bit towards running the house.
I was part of a lovely bunch of friends who had joined as apprentices. We got along pretty well with each other and also our department bosses. Many employees around were a bit jealous of how much fun we had at work and at the same time, all the work that came in was also completed on time. So the big boss did not object to our fun. Anyway, my work was going well and we all got another bonus - in 3 months time, our stipend got raised to Rs 1200!!! That was a mega bumper lottery for all of us. Every month, on the day we received our salary pack, we girls used to go to the city, spend time eating chaat, ice-creams, do shopping for ourselves and people back home and then return. This once a month routine, used to be total fun time. My grandmother then decided that it was enough freedom of 1.5yrs and was time to look for a groom. I agreed to that casually, as I was happy that they allowed me to work for at least 1+ yrs.
Proposals after proposals started coming in the mail with photos and horoscopes. Parents used to spend long hours trying to read through the letters and documents and breaking their heads wondering which ones could be good. Of course we did have some funny letters as well from people boasting about the number of houses they have, cars they have, the son's job prospects, his salary etc etc. Once they sorted out a few, achan/amma would call me and then show me the photos of the guys for my approval. The point was, even if I had said NO, my parents were like "Why do you say NO? He is not that bad looking you know". I then used to wonder, why they were asking me in the first place if my opinion was anyway going to be over-ruled! After the first round of filtration, the next step was to take the horoscopes (we used to call it horrorscopes!) to the family astrologer for his final say on the poruthams. (Poruthams meaning, matching both the boy’s and girl’s horoscope or trying to see how much they match with each other based on horoscope).
After much thoughts and feedback from the family, they narrowed down to one. I had not seen the photo of this person before. But the horoscopes were matched, family details were all fine and in fact there were some common relatives (long distant relatives) between the two families too. Amma showed me the photo of the boy and I went "Enik ishtamayilla amme". (I do not approve mum). Mostly because the boy was planning to move overseas and that was the only condition I had with my parents that I did not want to leave India. Amma said "Ayyo pavam aa kutty. Kaanaan ottum moshamilla! Nee verudey oronnum paranju......Veroru sthalathhu ellam poyaley nee ellam padikkullu. Saram illa, namakku ithu vechhu proceed cheyyam". (Poor kid! He does not look bad at all. You and your meaningless reasons……Settling down in other places will be good for you. Let us proceed with this now). So the boy’s side was contacted and they were trying to work out how to meet, as the family was in Chennai and we were in Secunderabad.
Maniratnam's Bombay movie in Tamizh was just released or going to be released in a few days time and it was ON at Kamala theatre in Vadapalani, Madras. My aunt's house was very close to the theatre. I was looking forward to seeing this movie at any cost. So when amma asked me if it was ok with me to go to Madras to meet with the boy and his family, I gave a big nod of approval - the hidden agenda being I could watch the movie on the day of its release in Madras!! Amma was delighted to see the big grin on my face and she finally thought her daughter was thinking sensibly. I quickly called my cousin, got him to book tickets for all. The date of the movie and our meeting with the boy and family, was perrrrrfect fit. Amma was not very happy with my idea, as we were going for a specific purpose and it was not the appropriate time to have fun, without knowing what the result would be. But that was the least bothering matter in my head.
So we started off on our Aan Kaanal journey to Madras. (Normally it is the boy’s family who come to see the girl and her family. They call it PENN KAANAL. But since in our case we were going to meet the boy and family, I called it AAN KAANAL). My dad was very particular as he had given me some instructions to follow. “You are doing exactly like I tell you. Wear the Kerala saree, just one or two thin gold bangles will do, a simple ear ring, one gold chain, bindi and chandana kuri and most importantly DO NOT TIE YOUR HAIR”. I always hate leaving my hair untied but this time I had no choice. The event went off well. I had taken my cousin along as well for moral support, so that he could make conversation with the boy too, when I went quiet in between. After lunch, the families declared to each other right then and there that they were happy to go ahead and all looked at us (boy and girl). The boy being such a pavam, gave a prompt “YES FROM ME TOO”. The focus light was now totally upon me. I was not prepared at all for this and felt trapped and extremely uncomfortable, as nobody gave me even time to think about how I exactly felt about it. Everybody else seemed to have made up their mind well in advance. It was all so sudden as I thought people would discuss after getting home and then get back the following day about the outcome. If I had said that I needed time to think, I am sure it would have caused a bit of a stir among all. My parents were ok with it, the boy's family was ok and the boy was also ok, so there was nothing more left for me and I just said YES!
On my way back home, I chose to drive back with my cousin on his bike. We kept talking all the way about his take on the episode and what my thoughts were etc etc. It was all just a time pass discussion as the major decision was made anyway without much thought. Now when I think of this AAN KAANAL episode, I still wonder sometimes that it was not fair to decide that way. Would my decision be any different if we were given the time to decide? Possibly no, but that was not the point. Being put on the spot was something that I do not feel is fair. Three hours after we got back, everything was forgotten and we were all set to go and watch Bombay. Although my mother was not very happy about the idea of going for a movie, since everything had worked out well, she did not protest.
Next day the boy came to my aunt's place to pick me up on his Kinetic Honda and we went out. Spent some time at the beach and then he took me to 5 star hotel. I had never been to one before in my life and it was a new experience. I could not admit that straightaway to the boy had to be careful not to make a fool of myself. We made ourselves comfortable and talked about a few things. I made it a point to tell him straightaway at the very first opportunity available that I did not know cooking. He told me that he was not looking for a wife who could cook for him but somebody who would be a good companion in all ways to spend his life with. Everything surrounding us suddenly became a blur and it was just the boy and me at the hotel dining hall. I was relieved when the boy said those words and ready to face anything after that.
He then asked me what I would like to eat and also asked me not to be shy and to be comfortable. I smiled at him and said ok and ordered one coke and a bowl of French fries. He then dropped me back home and I was really proud to sit behind him on the Kinetic Honda. Felt like declaring to the world "Hey, even I have a boy friend now". I was full of smiles and felt safe with the boy. Also mustered up a bit of courage to rest my right palm on his right shoulder while I was with him on the Kinetic Honda. It was that magic moment again, when everything around us vanished and just us riding on. The boy later on told me that he was totally thrilled to hear my choice of food as I would fit perfectly in a place like Melbourne!!!
I was part of a lovely bunch of friends who had joined as apprentices. We got along pretty well with each other and also our department bosses. Many employees around were a bit jealous of how much fun we had at work and at the same time, all the work that came in was also completed on time. So the big boss did not object to our fun. Anyway, my work was going well and we all got another bonus - in 3 months time, our stipend got raised to Rs 1200!!! That was a mega bumper lottery for all of us. Every month, on the day we received our salary pack, we girls used to go to the city, spend time eating chaat, ice-creams, do shopping for ourselves and people back home and then return. This once a month routine, used to be total fun time. My grandmother then decided that it was enough freedom of 1.5yrs and was time to look for a groom. I agreed to that casually, as I was happy that they allowed me to work for at least 1+ yrs.
Proposals after proposals started coming in the mail with photos and horoscopes. Parents used to spend long hours trying to read through the letters and documents and breaking their heads wondering which ones could be good. Of course we did have some funny letters as well from people boasting about the number of houses they have, cars they have, the son's job prospects, his salary etc etc. Once they sorted out a few, achan/amma would call me and then show me the photos of the guys for my approval. The point was, even if I had said NO, my parents were like "Why do you say NO? He is not that bad looking you know". I then used to wonder, why they were asking me in the first place if my opinion was anyway going to be over-ruled! After the first round of filtration, the next step was to take the horoscopes (we used to call it horrorscopes!) to the family astrologer for his final say on the poruthams. (Poruthams meaning, matching both the boy’s and girl’s horoscope or trying to see how much they match with each other based on horoscope).
After much thoughts and feedback from the family, they narrowed down to one. I had not seen the photo of this person before. But the horoscopes were matched, family details were all fine and in fact there were some common relatives (long distant relatives) between the two families too. Amma showed me the photo of the boy and I went "Enik ishtamayilla amme". (I do not approve mum). Mostly because the boy was planning to move overseas and that was the only condition I had with my parents that I did not want to leave India. Amma said "Ayyo pavam aa kutty. Kaanaan ottum moshamilla! Nee verudey oronnum paranju......Veroru sthalathhu ellam poyaley nee ellam padikkullu. Saram illa, namakku ithu vechhu proceed cheyyam". (Poor kid! He does not look bad at all. You and your meaningless reasons……Settling down in other places will be good for you. Let us proceed with this now). So the boy’s side was contacted and they were trying to work out how to meet, as the family was in Chennai and we were in Secunderabad.
Maniratnam's Bombay movie in Tamizh was just released or going to be released in a few days time and it was ON at Kamala theatre in Vadapalani, Madras. My aunt's house was very close to the theatre. I was looking forward to seeing this movie at any cost. So when amma asked me if it was ok with me to go to Madras to meet with the boy and his family, I gave a big nod of approval - the hidden agenda being I could watch the movie on the day of its release in Madras!! Amma was delighted to see the big grin on my face and she finally thought her daughter was thinking sensibly. I quickly called my cousin, got him to book tickets for all. The date of the movie and our meeting with the boy and family, was perrrrrfect fit. Amma was not very happy with my idea, as we were going for a specific purpose and it was not the appropriate time to have fun, without knowing what the result would be. But that was the least bothering matter in my head.
So we started off on our Aan Kaanal journey to Madras. (Normally it is the boy’s family who come to see the girl and her family. They call it PENN KAANAL. But since in our case we were going to meet the boy and family, I called it AAN KAANAL). My dad was very particular as he had given me some instructions to follow. “You are doing exactly like I tell you. Wear the Kerala saree, just one or two thin gold bangles will do, a simple ear ring, one gold chain, bindi and chandana kuri and most importantly DO NOT TIE YOUR HAIR”. I always hate leaving my hair untied but this time I had no choice. The event went off well. I had taken my cousin along as well for moral support, so that he could make conversation with the boy too, when I went quiet in between. After lunch, the families declared to each other right then and there that they were happy to go ahead and all looked at us (boy and girl). The boy being such a pavam, gave a prompt “YES FROM ME TOO”. The focus light was now totally upon me. I was not prepared at all for this and felt trapped and extremely uncomfortable, as nobody gave me even time to think about how I exactly felt about it. Everybody else seemed to have made up their mind well in advance. It was all so sudden as I thought people would discuss after getting home and then get back the following day about the outcome. If I had said that I needed time to think, I am sure it would have caused a bit of a stir among all. My parents were ok with it, the boy's family was ok and the boy was also ok, so there was nothing more left for me and I just said YES!
On my way back home, I chose to drive back with my cousin on his bike. We kept talking all the way about his take on the episode and what my thoughts were etc etc. It was all just a time pass discussion as the major decision was made anyway without much thought. Now when I think of this AAN KAANAL episode, I still wonder sometimes that it was not fair to decide that way. Would my decision be any different if we were given the time to decide? Possibly no, but that was not the point. Being put on the spot was something that I do not feel is fair. Three hours after we got back, everything was forgotten and we were all set to go and watch Bombay. Although my mother was not very happy about the idea of going for a movie, since everything had worked out well, she did not protest.
Next day the boy came to my aunt's place to pick me up on his Kinetic Honda and we went out. Spent some time at the beach and then he took me to 5 star hotel. I had never been to one before in my life and it was a new experience. I could not admit that straightaway to the boy had to be careful not to make a fool of myself. We made ourselves comfortable and talked about a few things. I made it a point to tell him straightaway at the very first opportunity available that I did not know cooking. He told me that he was not looking for a wife who could cook for him but somebody who would be a good companion in all ways to spend his life with. Everything surrounding us suddenly became a blur and it was just the boy and me at the hotel dining hall. I was relieved when the boy said those words and ready to face anything after that.
He then asked me what I would like to eat and also asked me not to be shy and to be comfortable. I smiled at him and said ok and ordered one coke and a bowl of French fries. He then dropped me back home and I was really proud to sit behind him on the Kinetic Honda. Felt like declaring to the world "Hey, even I have a boy friend now". I was full of smiles and felt safe with the boy. Also mustered up a bit of courage to rest my right palm on his right shoulder while I was with him on the Kinetic Honda. It was that magic moment again, when everything around us vanished and just us riding on. The boy later on told me that he was totally thrilled to hear my choice of food as I would fit perfectly in a place like Melbourne!!!
Total Comments 35
Comments
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Hayy Dear Shree,
What to say, I took two hours to read your blog.
Why?
Because each paragraph pushed me in to many nostalgic memories and that stopped my reading. Such a nice write up thanks a lot for sharing.
Thank god, this was left in your basket, check again?
My heart filled with joy by reading all your pure Malayalam in IL blog !!!
Two similarities!! I am also so crazy watching movies, if possible on the release date.
I also watched Bombay on the release date and I have seen that movie more than four times in theater only.
Second, I was also receiving a stipend of 700 rupees for 6 months and then raised up to 1000.
But the funny part is, that was more than enough for all our adichupolikkal in Cochin city.
But now even I can’t think about that.
And finally what you said is very correct, by seeing and observing a person give us an idea about him or her, but a half an hour discussion can change the entire idea either positively or negatively. Wish you a long happy life with pavam.
Hope to see you again,
With Love
AyyanPosted 19th October 2009 at 01:49 AM by ayyan
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Dear Ayyan
Thanxxxxxxxxxxxxx !! I am so happy that you opened the account by leaving a comment for me. Basketil nokki and this was the only one stuck in between getting lost into oblivion and the inside of the basket. I managed to pull it in and give it some shape. Glad to see that it took you back to those days and you enjoyed reading it too. Thank you for the wishes. Will surely convey the same to Pavam!Posted 19th October 2009 at 02:00 AM by knot2share -
Dear K2S,
That was one nostalagic moment...loved the whole thing..
The pavam has become your soulmate is too gud... Nicely written dear...enjoyed a lot.Posted 19th October 2009 at 02:50 AM by Lalitha Shivaguru - Knot 2 share
That was really cute and pretty aan kanal which I enjoyed thoroughly. I also went for my aan kanal, but it was like meeting half way, me from kochi and aan from Cal. and the place we met Chennai and immediately after the kaanal he declared YES and it was a pleasant surprise for me . You really made me nostalgic !
and you very well know I suffer from nostalgic mania ;)Posted 19th October 2009 at 07:33 AM by manchitra
Updated 19th October 2009 at 07:37 AM by manchitra -
Hi knots2share,
that was so cute....
beautifully written. Belated diwali wishes.Posted 19th October 2009 at 09:56 AM by Akila Mani
