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Indusladies International Women's Day Blog Contest - Entries for Non-Bloggers
Posted 11th February 2010 at 11:39 PM by Induslady
Indusladies International Women's Day Blog Contest - Entries for Non-Bloggers
If you do not own a blog, then you can participate by providing your entries below. All other requirements (tagging, attaching contest banner etc) as mentioned in the announcement still applies.
If you do not own a blog, then you can participate by providing your entries below. All other requirements (tagging, attaching contest banner etc) as mentioned in the announcement still applies.
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Comments
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Please could you re-post it here?
Hello Parulg,Quote:Originally Posted by Parulg;If not, please guide me on how to submit my entry correctly. Would greatly appreciate it.
Thanks.
We are not able to see your entry in Facebook.
However, if you don't own a blogspace, we wanted non-bloggers like you to post their entry here as a comment, satisfying the following requirements:
1. Including the contest banner as part of your entry
2. Tagging 3 blogger friends and informing them to participate in the contest.
Kindly refer this entry by another member Custard to know what we are asking as part of the entry.Posted 24th February 2010 at 10:51 AM by Induslady
- how do I go about the tagging...I'm a newbie and not much of a techie...so I'm quite lostPosted 25th February 2010 at 04:26 AM by alkasingh
- Here's my entry for the Indusladies International Women's Day Blog Contest on the topic Relationship Issues
The Bitter Half...
I have been editing papers about women's empowerment and the plight of the downtrodden Dalit women, and thinking that most Indian women in the so-called 'upper strata’ don't have it so hot either! Maybe in terms of sheer physical labour and material hardships they are much better off than the class of women usually targetted by international fora, surveys and programs. However, in terms of psychological exploitation, the plight of most upper class women is no less.
And the pity of it is that while the economically backward women are largely victims of scarcity of material resources, wherein they end up bearing all sorts of extra physical and emotional burdens, the so-called 'privileged women' are entirely victims of their own social conditioning. Quite a few of them have it in their own hands to break free of the yoke of age-old unfair expectations that shackle their lives, but precepts of 'izzat' drummed into their minds from day one are stronger than their survival instinct in most cases!
Incidentally, I also happened to watch Raj Kumar Santoshi's 'Lajja' as it was aired recently by my cable operator, which reinforced my introspective mood. Every time I watch that movie I'm filled anew with admiration for the director’s perception of the turmoil that is the quintessential Indian woman's psyche. The mot juste, so to say, is summed up in one poignant statement: 'Sabki izzat ladki ke haath mein hoti hai: ladki ki koi izzat nahin hoti' (A woman is responsible for upholding everybody's honour, but she has no honour of her own)!
Having been brought up in the martyr/self-sacrifice mode myself, and having imbibed most female relatives' immolation on the altar of 'duty', (besides having heard those who faltered on the path of self-sacrifice decried), my first brush with a truly 'liberated' attitude (and not the stereotypical women's lib nonsense) came as a culture shock, when a friend and her husband decided to move house to a location where the commute to work would be equal for both husband and wife!
We women of well-off families are fortunate in not having to struggle to make ends meet. We keep conforming to the anachronistic expectations of traditional patriarchal societal norms either due to sheer apathy, or due to fear of jeopardizing our position in the family and in society. We need to break out of this bind and realize that if we need them, they need us too. And if we cannot get some basic respect and rights as equal human beings and as members of the family, then maybe it's time for us to rethink our priorities in life!
This is not to encourage women to break free of their families, but to encourage them to use their brains and make an equal place for themselves within the family, rather than surrender to childhood conditioning and lie down for others to walk over them. We need to get some sense of self-worth and believe with all our hearts and minds that we are no less than anyone and we deserve an equal status in the family and in society. It is our right to receive love and caring and nurturing, the same way that we give it to our families. We need to factor in the concepts of 'I want', 'I need', 'I like' and 'I will' into our psyches and our behavior patterns.
Think about it ...
Tags:
Meeta: www.finance.wordpress.com
Shefaly: www.shefaly-yogendra.com
Nita: www.nitawriter.wordpress.comPosted 25th February 2010 at 04:43 AM by Parulg - Hi ladies,
I am posting an entry here, at the last minute, not so much for the contest, but for the sheer need of discussions on these topics relevant for today's women. My personal blog is down for design updates. But this article is also up at another blog of IFSHA www.isitaboutsexblog.com where I am a writer.
It is a contributary non paying blog run by IFSHA an NGO in Delhi and you can find my articles under my pseudonym 'Princess Baatcheet'.
My real name is Sangeeta Das. This article is based on the Workplace inequality faced by women. Hope you like it.
Since there is a word limit I will post the article in a seperate entry.Posted 25th February 2010 at 05:41 AM by Baatcheet - My Article
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Where is the Glass celing?
There is a very old adage, “Woman in a man’s world”. Ever wondered what is this man’s world any way? I never could figure out whether it was a compliment or a snide remark about any woman, who stepped into or made big in the so called “Man’s world”. But often I have felt that the women are considered more as a contract worker, being a woman in a man’s world.
Its like this if I am an Indian in America, then I am always an Indian in America; an NRI. Rarely would I be referred as an American. Similarly a woman in a work environment where ‘No woman has gone before’ is a “storm raiser” in “THE Man’s world. In other definitions maybe just an eyebrow raiser or a controversy raiser.
If she fails to convince and fight her way through those eyebrows and controversies then she is an unsuitable candidate, an intruder, a publicity seeker, an opportunist with vile interests and intentions.
But by sheer grace if she survives, then she is a super woman, a great achiever, a pride for the country, and a trophy “Woman”. Some eyebrows will still be there. Only this time they will doubt on the dubious ways she has used her “womanhood” to get to the top.
In recent past we saw many such upheavals in the various employment sectors of women. Whether she is a president or a police officer, an astronaut or a bar tender, everywhere she is an outsider, trying to break the ‘glass ceiling’. Trying to cross over the ‘iron wall’… or the ‘Threshold’. Fighting for her right to work and get the job she wants.
Yes I am using certain adages over and over, which have always been used to refer to every woman who dares to take up a job different from what most women are doing. But where is this ‘glass ceiling’ or ‘iron wall’… or the ‘Threshold’??? Has anyone seen it ever? Is it in our mind? Or is it in the Man’s mind? Is there any such adages used for men who take up jobs which were primarily done by women? Can any one suggest some such adages used for men?
Men are taking up nursing, stripping, massage, cooking, tailoring, makeup and even being nannies. But no eye-brows are raised at their new adventures, new choices of jobs or achievements. The only change is that earlier a ‘nurse’ or a ‘stripper’ primarily meant a woman, so now a word “Male” or “man” is added as a prefix.
Surprisingly in many other countries, women who are doing jobs which have been traditionally done by men are not seen as aliens. There are really very few places where gender definitions rule the work environments. In most places a job is a job and a worker is a worker irrespective of the sex. Its not that the women there are not fighting to be in their shoes or in their positions. But in most places they are not seen primarily as women but more as a person with some expertise.
Be it dangerous jobs, of Army, air force, police, divers; intellectual jobs of scientists, researchers, professors, creative jobs of films, media or even hard core jobs like truck driving or carpentry, plumbing and construction, women are there every where. From diving, into deep seas, to research in deep Amazon, or taking on the space, there really can be very few jobs where there are no women. I recently saw a woman who is a motorcycle speed tester.
From extreme sports to beauty queens they excel everywhere and are respected as they as human beings, than considered square pegs as women.
Based on their expertise, where they reach, can be a difficult task for every woman around the world. Every woman around the world knows that she has to work “double than a man to get half his pay and credit.” But maybe it is a degree easier in certain societies and countries, since the “man’s world” concept is slowly fading away. Women are taking up so many jobs and do so successfully that the concept of gender based jobs are vanishing from those cultures.
Unlike India where even a most talented, qualified woman is left on a “consideration” for a job, if an equally qualified man is there.
In India most of the time it is believed that when a woman comes out to work, it is either for sheer fun, or maybe because there is no other earning member in the family. I had a boss, who often claimed, “You girls don’t need to work so hard. Just earn enough pocket money, and then get married and have a relaxed life on your husband’s pay. Look at us, we have to raise a family and work so hard”. It was quiet exasperating.
So one day I finally told him, “It is really a pressure on you that your wife doesn’t work, but just imagine if she did, wouldn’t your life be a bit easier. Besides if she could earn more than you then you could also have a lot of fun on her money, isn’t it. The basic idea is we are both either working for money, or for the sheer joy of having a career. You may feel sad that you are working to feed two people at home, but I feel glad that I am taking care of two old people at home. The bottom line is we are both here because we work hard.”
Much later when I was nearly 30 and was looking for a job… repeatedly I encountered one question at the interview… “Married? Any plans of marriage soon? Are you planning to work after marriage?”
Initially I didn’t get the hint. I was surprised. When it was written in my CV that I am single, I wondered why this query was raised. But soon I realized the purpose. The HR manager of a leading global IT company said, “You see a lot of work goes into choosing a candidate… and then suddenly if she gets married and goes away… it’s a loss for us.” I wasn’t prepared for this, but I did answer him and many after him.
“If I told you that I am getting married in 6 months, would you not employ me? And if I am telling you that I have no such plans in near future then would you not trust me? Then in that case I cannot trust this company. Who can say what might happen tomorrow. I may not have any plans for marriage, and you employ me, and while coming to office I get mowed down by a bus, you will still be at a loss. Besides there are many men who leave jobs within 6 months of joining, in lure of better pay. Do you ask every man you interview, “Are you planning to leave if you get a better pay?”
After marriage I thought the scenario would change, but it is still the same. Now HR managers ask me, “Married? When did you get married? Babies….?? Not yet?... OK we still have time.” In one interview… I actually told the guy, “no-no I don’t have time… we will soon plan something…. And I will let you know… !”
I burst out laughing when I walked out, his face was a sight.
So being a woman, my parents gave me a lot of education… to “make me stand on my own two feet” so to say. My father had a dream that I will have a great career. Being a woman in a “man’s world” I had a tough time getting my first job. Then by the time I did grow a bit on the rungs after fighting several bosses who thought I just worked for pocket money, I reached my marriageable age. Then again I faced a shortage of offers. Eventually I convinced my employers and worked on contracts… “That I will not get married and ditch them halfway.”
Finally I am married and the offers are getting fewer by the day. Even if I manage to get something now… I know the question of reaching home on time, doing all the household chores and managing a job will again create stress for me, especially with a husband who will go hungry rather than cook for himself. Again after my baby I have to struggle for a foot hold.
Someone close to me suggested “Why are you so hell bent on a career? Have fun take rest. Enjoy your marriage. Anyway you have worked so hard for 15 yrs. It’s enough, now you relax.” I cannot explain to her that because I have worked for 15 yrs I love my work and want to work till the last day I die. She is no different from my boss.
So it is not that bad really. I do have choices. One aunt once suggested, “You could become a teacher. It’s the best job, after you get married. You will get all the holidays and come back home in time to cook also.” Surprisingly I was also one of those who wanted to break the glass ceiling. Not that I have one in my head, but the one in the outside world. In the “Man’s world”.
Probably if I wanted to have fun on my husband’s money, I wouldn’t be running from HR to HR trying to convince them “NO I am not planning a baby soon.”
Probably if I had taken up a job in a woman’s world it would have been different. There the women would understand that I can get married and can get pregnant, yet I have a right to a job. A job I like, and a job I prefer. But unfortunately I am blinkered towards gender defined jobs and roles. So I struggle to break the glass ceiling. Waiting for the day when there will be no sex difference. And I can sing.
OHH! Baby baby it’s a man’s world and its reigning women reigning women.
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I am tagging three of my friends.
Aparna BinaGupta JaijuiPosted 25th February 2010 at 05:42 AM by Baatcheet
