<![CDATA[IndusLadies - Blogs - Malspie's Blog - Step In by malspie]]> http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/ IndusLadies is a global online community of Indian Ladies. Discuss and share ideas about topics interesting to Indian Women. They discuss about Cooking,Recipes,Pregnancy,Parenting,Shopping,Articles,Snippets,jokes,work from home,marriage and family,etc. en Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:36:05 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.IndusLadies.com/forums/images/006/misc/rss.jpg <![CDATA[IndusLadies - Blogs - Malspie's Blog - Step In by malspie]]> http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/ I touched the Feet of Ganesha! Read on.... http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/i-touched-feet-ganesha-read-2417/ Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:25:19 GMT *Friends,* *In Kaliyug ‘miracle’ is the most awaited word and I have been blessed once again by the Lord who has been kind to shower a miracle on me. * *I wanted to meet Lord Ganesha at Lalbaugh, as usual work schedule was not letting me take a days off, I am aware that I need to wait in... Friends,

In Kaliyug ‘miracle’ is the most awaited word and I have been blessed once again by the Lord who has been kind to shower a miracle on me.
I wanted to meet Lord Ganesha at Lalbaugh, as usual work schedule was not letting me take a days off, I am aware that I need to wait in serpentine queues to have a darshan of the Lord and my turn would come after 18 to 20 hours. It clearly states, I need a day’s off and I am dead sure, it is next to impossible.

The dailies had his pictures flashed on the front page with celebrity guests seeking his blessings. “Ganesha, I am not a celebrity, does that mean, I will not see you in 2009”. What can I do to reach Lalbaugh and seek his blessings within a short period of time?

I recollected my friend ‘X’ who is a big man in the society and can help me seek his blessings. I also had him give me a surprise visit after Ganesh Chaturthi. When I was making a glass of juice for my friend, I questioned myself, “Is this a secret message from Ganesha? Is he asking me to put my wish of meeting Ganesha at Lalbaugh to ‘X’ my friend? I hate to use any influence for any purpose in my life. Good friends and mighty friends are like ‘ace’ cards, should be used carefully and only when it is very essential. I let this opportunity slip out of my hand. Ganesha looked at me and whispered, “I can only show you the well, I do not like to draw water from it for you to drink. You can do that for yourself, if you fail to do, I am not to be blamed”. Ganesha, what to do, Ganesha, I hate to ask for favours, you are aware of it.
The next day another good friend called me up, “How was Ganesh Puja?” They are all aware of how very close I am to Ganesha. “Great, I told him. I visited so many pandals this year too. Mumbai looks so beautiful during festivals”.
“Yeah, I have darshan of Lalbaughcha Raja the very day he is seated on the throne, we have special passes and get to see him from very close sector”.
My eyes went wide open with joy, should I ask him to take me with him when he visits the place. Should I ask for a favour? I have been very lucky during all my visits to Lalbaugh. I never had to wait in any long queues and always had darshan of the Lord in flat 15 to 30 mins. Well, nobody believes me when I tell them. Whose name did you take, whose influence letter was with you, was the probe? I must say, God has been kind.

It was on one of the evenings of last week, I was busy with my usual chores and we had a meeting of our society to be held at 8 p.m. My neighbor who is a very influential person in the society, walked in telling me, that the meeting may be cancelled as a few members are not able to make it. I gave a sigh of relief, it is easy for men to hold meetings as they have their woman busy doing the chores for them, when it comes to me, I have to balance everything, social commitments, household chores, office, shopping and giving time to my virtual friends too! As we sat chatting, he invited me to his place for dinner, which I am sure; his wife did not approve much. He kept on insisting that I join them for dinner and I told him, only if they let me carry all that I have cooked for my dinner. After giving his nod to my proposal, as he was about to leave my home, his mobile rang. After speaking for 3 minutes, he came running to my kitchen saying, “Mals, be quick, we need to go to Lalbaugh”.
His wife did not like this too!. I jumped a feet high from the floor, “Bhai, what are you saying, are you sure, we are going to Lalbaugh today?”
“Yes, my friend has asked me to quickly come down to seek darshan”. I did not argue with him, knowing how mighty he is, I knew his friend must have arranged for practical ways to seek the darshan of Lord Ganesha.

We hurried inside the car after a hearty dinner, kids were quiet excited. We had to face a bit of bumper to bumper traffic, his friend directed him to park the car in a particular lane. From there we had to walk a bit towards the pandal. The area is huge. My neighbor was in constant touch with his friend taking directions of where to meet him. He was finally located, a tall good looking man with ‘tilak’ on his forehead came forward saying, “Ganpathi Bappa” we said, “Morya”. He had some 5 men with him. From his looks and gait, I could make out he has ‘power’ in him.

I was constantly praying to Ganesha, “Let me have a good darshan Ganesha, like always, please be with me Ganesha”. They made us stand near a fire engine. We had to wait there for around 20 mins. As the door of the engine opened we had to throw ourselves inside the engine. There were few other devotees who had come with mighty names to back them, while few had ‘quietly’ joined the crowd! As the door opened, the men pushed their way towards it, we could not push them out at all, we tried out best, my neighbor managed to hop inside the engine and he quickly turned and said, “Give your hand”. One by one he pulled us inside, it was no joke, with constant hush and push of the men around, it was difficult to maintain our balance, the step of the engine was around 3 feet above the ground and to raise our leg to that height with crowd pushing from behind was absolutely a mammoth task. I was petrified for the kids, they were yelling with fear. I was constantly encouraging them to hold themselves and not to fall. The five men of the “mighty” man, started pushing us inside so that we get the grip of the entrance door of the fire engine. Thank Ganesha for letting us all safely inside the engine. There was a man standing inside, “Common do not wait in here, jump out from the other side” I looked down, we had to jump down 3 feet now! I glided down quietly, did not take the risk of jumping and twisting my ankle. Kids too followed the act, my neighbor and his better half did the same.
As we all landed on the ground safely after that jump, we saw a big muddy puddle! Gosh, how are we going to cross this! Luckily there was a small stone on the other side and I quickly noticed it. I put one foot on it and said “Jai Ganesha” and landed safely on the other side of the puddle. Men who did not notice the puddle splashed it all over and the sight was quiet disgusting!
My heart was filled with joy, for every hurdle we crossed, the darshan was getting closer. I could see tall white pandals, with Ganesha songs playing in the background. We were judging where is the Raja, the famous ‘mannat’ Ganpathi of Mumbai. As we started throwing quick steps, we reached another small gate, where one policeman was standing with his walkie talkie. He stopped me and rolling his eyes with a stern voice said, “Minimum three to four hours, madam, after going inside, do not tell, I am feeling, giddy, uneasy, not prepared for the wait, decide now and walk in, or just return”. It was at this time the fact had dawned on us. The darshan is not going to be easy, this time. My neighbor was having a half baked look as his kids were small and may be they may throw tantrums and above all, being affluent, they do not have the habit of waiting in queues ever! It was no big deal for me; I have waited many times at Siddi Vinayak for 6 hours at a stretch chanting “Jai Ganesha”. I got myself mentally prepared, I told him, I will not complain and walked in. My neighbors followed suit.

My neighbor vouched, “he is just frightening us, it should not take more than an hour, Raja is very close”. With my experience, I told him, “The policeman is right, it will take around 3 hours minimum”. My only hitch was that I did not carry water to wet my lips. I drink lots of water! I left all the doubts behind and stood there; we got talking and joking all the way. My neighbor that moment got a call from his ‘mighty’ friend. “Are you in the pandal with your family? Sorry friend, I cannot do much beyond this. Mumbai Police have undertaken strict vigilance this year, the trust has handed over the complete area to them who is not only responsible for the security but also for queue maintenance and peace”. We can understand that, with terrorist attack and other severe threats to the city, we as citizens have to cooperate with police.
The wait had slowly started killing my accomplice and they squatted all over the place. I was determined to stand and not rest till I have the darshan of Lord. The queue moved very slowly as predicted by me. The distance from where we were standing to the place where ‘Raja’ was seated was very less. We could have managed it in 30 minutes. But, it did not happen that way. After around 2hrs 30 minutes, we were at the feet of the Lord. Yes, my dear friends, we were standing just next to him on the dais, a couple of devotees pushed me to have neater darshan. I was about to fall from the dais but Lords’ blessings prevailed. I stood there adoring and admiring my Ganesha, who looked rich and happy seated on a throne with heavy gold ‘kangan’ on each of his hands, gold amulets, gold feet, rubies, emeralds, heavy neck pieces. Remember, he is called ‘Mannat’ (wish fulfilling) Ganpathi and devotees do not hesitate to drop their valuables in the Hundi. I quickly ran towards the idol to touch his feet. Here, too it was a ‘task’ by itself, devotees from behind was pushing us so badly. I held his feet and said, “Thank you, Ganesha, Miracles Happen!” I saw him smiling at me, with twinkle in his eyes. “Ganpathi Bappa Morya” “Mangal Moorthi Morya” “Undir (Mouse) Mama Morya” echoed in the air.
The moment I touched his feet, all weariness flew from my body, I felt a kind of energy dose springing in to my nerves and felt ‘just born’. I quickly dropped my “Mannat Money” in to the hundi. My neighbor who is a very big shot in the society dropped a very paltry sum, which made me wonder! After booking a house worth Rupees 80 lacs just last month, he should be thrilled to thank the Lord. May be some men out there feel, ‘if you have it in you, you will get it, the Lord has nothing to do with it’. :spin
As we were walking out of the pandal totally rejuvenated and happy, my neighbor proudly asked me, “How was the darshan?”
I told him, “Great, I touched the feet of the Lord.”
“I think for the first time, you got to see the Lord in such a short time”.
“No, bhai, every time I come here, a miracle happens, someone takes me so close to the lord that my wait is just 15 to 30 minutes”.
He looked at me with a shock.
“Yes, this is the first time, I am waiting in such a long queue. Yet, I do not use the advantage that God showers on me and land up here. I could have come here, waiting for a miracle to happen again, but it only means, I am taking advantage of my Ganesha”
“Oh! How is that possible?” he shot back.
“It is possible, if you come with a pure heart, prepared to bear the heat/ sun and rain and get ‘connected’ to him not for worldly pleasures but for keeping you fit and healthy. May be one of us were not worth that ‘quick darshan’ “.
I was trying to solve his puzzled look.
Friends, nothing matters, who we are to be judgmental, the Lord has his last words and it meant that Malspie touches his feet once again and he saw to it that it HAPPENS.
You girls must have read my blog on “Meet my Friend”. After reading this, you too will sing joyfully, “Ganesha, Ganesha, Mangalam Ganesha”.

We reached home at 3.30 in the morning totally refreshed! I had to wake up at 6 to start my chore for the next day, I have to rush to office to tell the tale! :thumbsup
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/i-touched-feet-ganesha-read-2417/ No More an Idiot http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/no-more-an-idiot-2405/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 13:31:57 GMT *I dedicate this blog to one of my friend who blindly believes that television is an ‘idiot box’. The definition was apt a few years ago; today the scenes have pretty much changed. Ask me and I would say, a few percentage of my knowledge of various subjects is ‘thanks to television’. Are you... I dedicate this blog to one of my friend who blindly believes that television is an ‘idiot box’.

The definition was apt a few years ago; today the scenes have pretty much changed.

Ask me and I would say, a few percentage of my knowledge of various subjects is ‘thanks to television’. Are you surprised at my confession? I am confident, 90% of the readers would have a shocked or mocked expression on their faces while reading this blog. I am also sure, by the time you come to the end of this blog, your views would have changed. It is not my hobby to sit and watch T.V. the direct reason is my hectic schedule does not permit me to do so.

After a tired day at office and home routine, I do take my time to watch some very interesting programmes aired by certain channels. A few of them can make you wear your thinking cap, another few programmes may make you break the cocoon you have weaved around yourself, a couple of programs can make you feel rejuvenated too. Are their programmes which can make me feel rejuvenated and make me think? Can an ‘idiot box’ make me think? Yes, it can, provided which programme you choose to watch.


If you stick to the soap operas with whimsical vamps, vindictive mother-in-laws, dubious bahus, it is you to be blamed. Certain reality shows are staged for TRP’s but they do make an interesting watching? A metro city girl like me, may not understand the value of an opening, but ask a boy or a girl who want to showcase their talent; these reality shows open the door for them. For every opportunity of your life, the path is chosen by you. God can give you a torch to search, but will help only those who help themselves. So, if a few talents are washed down, it does not mean, the reality shows area a hoax. Renowned singers of Bollywood are all discovery of Reality Shows! Everyone out there is up to making money, so let’s put this part of the matter to rest! With one or two member earning and more than 5 mouths to feed (we value family that includes mil, sil, bil, fil etc..) , we are bound to apply all tactics to see the choolah of our house is burning with pride.

I need to catch up with something interesting before I knock off to bed. Do you know there are channels which air rich and intelligent programmes? Yes, there are.

Do you know certain reality shows needs a good balance of mental and physical strength? Yes or No.

No, if anyone prefers to watch songs, dance and soap operas which is a hit in small towns and villages then we cannot blame television.

Have you watched some very informative programme on gardening in Doordarshan? Yes or No.

Have you watched serials on world's most expensive Ranch on television? Yes or No.

Have you watched derby on television? Yes or No.
Are you ready to watch Ocean Challenge show on television? Yes or No.
Do you watch cricket matches direct relay on television Or any other sports?

Are you watching the show where you can get Custom Made things done for you on demand?

Do you know there are channels which air programme on Italian Food?

Do you know there are channels which air programme on how to travel on a budget?

Do you know there are channels which air programme on India and Tourism?

Do you know there are programme on Dhaba and Hotels on Indian National Highway?

Do you know there are channels which show programmes on how wines and cheese are made all over the world?

Do you know there are Channels which air shows every day on cookery?

Do you know there are channels which show ancient monuments and the legend attached to it?

Do you know there are programs which deals only with occult?

Do you know there are channels which focus on spiritual programmes?

Do you know there are light comedy serials that can make you laugh every time you watch them?

Do you know there are programs which teach you about pets and their care?

Are you aware of some of the best spa treatments in the world and where you can get them with Spa tips?

Do you know there are programmes which showcase natural calamity and how to prepare for it?

Do you know there are programs which are dedicated to animals and wild life?

Do you know there are programs which are dedicated to only adventure which includes free fall, scuba diving, etc..?:cheers

Do you know there is channel dedicated to cookery where one dish a day is telecasted so that you can watch it repeatedly till you master the dish?:bonk

The list goes endless my friends, where cartoons, latest music are all played. Now, folks, if you have ‘no’ for most of the questions above, quickly change your CABLE OPERATOR!

I watch only these programmes, I have no clue of any television actors or actress and I enjoy only such thought provoking and energizing programmes. :cheers

I am sure after reading this blog, many of the members would stop calling television an ‘idiot box’ and quickly go to change the cable operator! :biglaugh
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/no-more-an-idiot-2405/ Meet my best friend! http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/meet-my-best-friend-2386/ Sun, 23 Aug 2009 04:10:49 GMT *Ganesha festival is something I never miss. I have a special connection with him! He is my playmate, my friend! He demands many things prior to the festival; I hunt and get it for him. * *I can see him getting ready to descend on earth and be with his friends here, who love him eternally. Some...
Ganesha festival is something I never miss. I have a special connection with him! He is my playmate, my friend! He demands many things prior to the festival; I hunt and get it for him.
I can see him getting ready to descend on earth and be with his friends here, who love him eternally. Some enjoy his form, some his pandals, some love the razzmatazz associated with the festival, some take it as an opportunity to meet friends and relatives, and some enjoy the Prasad, while some love to boast their wealth and their possessions!
Ganesha overlooks all this petty notions of his devotees, he is happy, like a child, everyone is visiting him, offering him modak, sindhur, coconut! He enjoys the feast ignoring his amma Paravthi’s warning of not to overeat!

He loves his devotees and cares a damn of all the warnings he got from his parents. He is ready to face the wrath of his dada Shivji, only for his devotees.

He waits for this one week as he finds another home and it is nowhere other than the mighty happening dream city of India- Mumbai.

Festoons, gulal, sindhur, music, dancers, stage drama, elaborated stage decoration, pandals, tight security, huge donations which comes in gold, diamonds, cash and some just offer their eyes laden with tears! God, I have nothing, please forgive me, is what they say! He is smiling at all of them – the rich and the poor! He does not understand the discrimination. He has got nothing to do with the rich offerings, but like a true father, brother and friends takes it from his devotees and returns to them in the form of charitable trusts, hospitals, etc.. which the trust runs on his name! Huge donations pour in, Ganesha is happy!

His visit to this earth has reaped some benefit so what if it is offered in disguise of some NEED! Ganesha does not mind such bargain. Yes, give me, he says, I enjoy taking it from you. You will never give me if I ask you, I want it, so I make you crave for something which is loaded with illusion and has nothing to do with you as you are not going to take it with you, when you visit me on THAT DAY! But, I do not make you think in that aspect, just fill your heart with need and greed and force you to donate money, diamonds, gold, which I can return to my devotees who are less fortunate for you beings on this earth but are actually rich in MY WORLD!

He is my best friend, I enjoy talking to him. He has actually come to visit me too! It may sound hilarious to few, but the fact is he has come! My mom was very upset when she knew about Ganesha’s visit. I have been praying for years and he has never visited me, she lamented. Am I fortunate, if you ask, I would say, yes, I am.

It has been 12 years since I have taken the reins of performing Ganesh Puja except for one year in between, the year he took my mom with him, to give her a better place than she deserved. In the last 12 years, not once I have sat out (periods and all that ladies stuff!). The due date has coincided with Chaturthi, but it will happen only after I offer him puja, one such year was 2008, where I had to put up special prayer for keeping it at bay till I finish my puja! He made it happen, I glided through the puja rituals smoothly, nothing to worry, he whispered in my ears! I am there for you, he assured!

It was one of those trying times of my life, where I could not even cry as being the eldest in the family, I should learn to hold tears and be strong a pillar for all of them to lean on! Ganesha knew, I was shattering from within. He is my friend and I tell him everything. He visited me, played with me, he was around 7 to 8 years old, I was my age, but it did not matter, we were playing, having fun, all kiddo games and I was feeling light exactly the way I was born on this earth and in the arms of my amma. Then he suddenly told me, “I am going now, it is 5.30 a.m. everyone will wake up, I should go before the sunrises. This visit is only for you and not for others!” I was crying with tears rolling my cheeks, “No Ganesha, No, wait, let’s play for some more time, be with me na Ganesha”, I was pleading! “I have to go Mals, I cannot wait here and please stop worrying, the purpose of my visit was to tell you, I am there with you, you are destined to go through this phase, but do not worry, if I have destined it for you, I keep myself also as a part of it. I will be through the entire thick and thins, you may not see me that does not mean you are alone! Do not feel so low Mals, I am leaving now”. He was moving away waving out his hand. I had stretched my hand to stop him, it was too late; he was gone! I rolled to see the time and it was exactly 5.30 a.m. Yes, he had come, he had visited me to assure me, that the phase is short and it will disappear. My constant visit to Siddi Vinayak bearing the traffic and beggars gifted me – the lord himself!

It was another moment when I finished my careful shopping for the festival – Ganesh Chaturthi. After office hours, I go to the flower market, then the puja shop, then the veggie shop and it is my routine for the past 12 years. Those days, my area was not so developed and it was difficult to get things, so I had to travel around 3 kms to buy puja items. I was godamn tired after a hectic day, as I was nearing home, I could suddenly feel someone pulling my right index finger and trying to stop me. Actually, I was talking aloud! “I want sugarcane, I want sugarcane” “Where can I get you sugarcane, I have left the market and taken a share rick back home, now where is the sugarcane, it is past 8.45 p.m. I have to go and make the preparations for the puja too. Stop demanding” “I do not know all that, buy for me sugarcane, without which I will be very angry” “Common boy, will you stop pestering me?” “No, I want sugarcane, take a rickshaw back to the market and get me one” “Do you know how far it is? I am tired little boy. I have to line up so many things at home; you know how much help I will get from my family on this! So please let me go home” By this time, I realized I am actually walking back home after getting off the rickshaw, whom am I talking to! I wondered! I looked on the right side, my index finger was pointing downward and I saw a 4 year old boy, with half pant, tucked in shirt, well oiled hair, holding my finger! Who is this boy; maybe he has missed his parents in the market! I quickly looked at him once again! Lo! He had a trunk, long one, swinging like a pendulum as he was catching up with my long steps! For a second, I was shocked! I once again looked, he had gone! Yes, my friends, he was Ganesha, demanding like a child. I gave no thoughts, all my weariness flew out of my body. I jumped in to a rickshaw, went to the market (3 kms away from home!), bought sugarcane and reached home. It was 9.45 when I returned braving the traffic! I had to tell amma about it, she was again shocked. I told her, it was no illusion, nothing of that sort. He was there next to me holding my index finger. I was treated like Mata Mals for few minutes at home! Now, I understand how these gurujis and guruma’s get those special attentions!

I did not cash on it, but treasured it forever. I have had many such encounters! Being a private person, I do not like to make a big noise of anything I do, I may have done much better than an army of women put together, but I will not show off! I have worked for my satisfaction, I do not crave for those “Great / Good /Very good” remarks! So, I do not make much noise of my puja or my preparations.

What did Ganesha do this year! It was just last night, he came to me saying, “no noise, no pictures, just pure prayers, do it for me with all your heart, not to boast about it to your friends, just keep it low”. I agreed, woke up at 3.15 a.m., finished the grand puja in shubha yogam with kaju modak and vermicelli payasam (kheer) and our typical Prasad for Ganesha (Malar pori +sugarcane+jaiggery and coconut)!

My next door neighbor woke up at 8.30 a.m. They do so during all festivals, there is no prayers etc.. though they visit all pilgrim centers every year! They were all stinking with perspiration when I went to give my kheer and modak and pori Prasad! “So early”, they asked me, “Yes, I said, as usual, the connection is between me and my Lord! I do not need anyone else to clap and sing! No show offs!”
She smiled sheepishly asked me to hang on for onion bhajiya! No, madam, thankyou, no onion / garlic today. It is pure sambhar, beans sabzi, rice with curd and pappad. Kheer and modaks is already waiting.
I visit all the pandals of two well known suburbs of my satellite city every year, standing in long queue on muddy paths (it is rainy season during Ganesh Chaturthi and it has to rain on this day!) every year. I walk for 2 to 3 hours every day after office hours and I finish visiting the pandals in 2 to 3 days. I also click pictures of the pandals and post for my friends who are away from India and are missing these beautiful festival occasions! With strict instructions of the Lord of ‘no fotus’ this year I may have to give it a miss!
Jai Ganesha!
Parvathi nandana – My Ganesha!

Bappa Morya Re
Morya Re
Charni Tevi Mee Matha
Ganapathi Bappa Morya!



]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/meet-my-best-friend-2386/ Are you a good Friend? http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/are-you-a-good-friend-2349/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 08:23:16 GMT *Are you a good friend? We all assume we are one, but actually there are many corners which we ignore and end up losing a friend or being one. It is universally noted that people who have a good friend are less depressed and look fully motivated all the time irrespective of the rough tides of life!... Are you a good friend? We all assume we are one, but actually there are many corners which we ignore and end up losing a friend or being one. It is universally noted that people who have a good friend are less depressed and look fully motivated all the time irrespective of the rough tides of life!
To have a good friend we need to be one too. The first condition of being a good friend is to give enough space to your friend and not nit-pick and brag about anything. Remember, you are two different individuals and each have a different approach to the ways of life. Once you have given the space, you observe that you are very comfortable in each other’s company. Primarily, you are not bound to tell them everything you do and take advice on everything you want to do. Slowly, this bond thickens to trust and you feel like sharing some of your best secrets of your life. Your friend also responds in the same manner and both of you laugh at the fool hardiness, goof-ups and some skeletons of your cupboards. The second important lesson, we need to learn is to lock this secret in the corner of your heart and never disclose it to anybody under any trial of life. In case, you end up going different ways, do not sit with people and degrade your friend by letting the secrets including his/her weakness. A good break up in friendship means, a silent break up. You owe no explanation to this world for your break up. Yes, if your heart is earning for his/her companionship, do not hesitate to make the first move. May be your friend is also waiting for it. The hidden lesson here is no ego hassles in friendship. Be the first one to praise, to help, to motivate and you will get the same response. Cheer your friend when he/she is depressed, celebrate his/her victory, motivate them to count on his/her strengths and amend their weakness. Once you have signed the bond of good friendship, try to be candid. In case, you do know that your friend is hiding something from you, let the matter rest. A true friend will never be able to hide it for long, may be he/she is gathering the strength to confess or discuss with you. So don’t jump the gun and brood, when finally your friend steps in to discuss it with you, listen patiently, do not show any signs of anger or let down feeling, just give your ears and hold their hands, let them feel comfortable. After the matter is discussed, let it rest forever, do not brag on it and try to show you are smarter and you may not have done it.. blah..blah.. etc… Just chill with your friend, later, when your friend asks, why weren’t you reacting on it, why weren’t you upset that he/she has hidden it from you for long, you can coolly say, ‘You knew it and was waiting for he/she to open the Pandora box’ or say, ‘I knew, you will not be able to hide anything from me for long’, this will make your friend trust and love you more.

Respect your friend’s likes and dislikes and do not try to impose your opinion on him/her. Join him/her for a movie which you would have detested to watch if given a choice, help him/her to shop and make a choice- you can just suggest not impose your taste. Your moves will make your friend do the same for you. Result is, you will never find yourself alone ever!
If you are in a better position and your friend is in distress, step in and help, it may be a financial help too. Please, do not disclose it to anybody. You do it only if you feel you can do it and you are in a position to do it. Do not borrow and steal. Stand with your friend like a tall tower on whom he/she can lean, rock their boat to a better shore; God is watching you and your kind gesture will open bigger gates for you one day. If you did not get much from this earth, you will earn a big place in God’s abode. Yes, you will. If you have helped any one financially, do not set time limits for repayment. May be your friend is not in a position to re-pay you within the framed time limit. If your friend happens to ditch you with the cash and look down upon you later, forget the whole issue. Never fight with anyone for money, we were never born with it nor are we going to take it with us. It is just a currency to live on this temporary house called EARTH. So why worry! I have also stated, help with cash only if you have the capacity to do so and can survive after helping!
Be open to learn from your friend and do not try to portray the image of know all. Respond to their calls and messages, be pro-active always.
Also a vital point to be noted, if your friend did not stand by you during the difficult times of your life, if he/she did not walk that extra mile for you, it is time to wake up! He/she is not worth being called a friend. Do not call names and abuse. Start building the distance, it has to be very slow and one day, he /she may turn up to say ‘Sorry’. He/she can be forgiven but it is for sure, they have LOST A GOOD FRIEND!
Also remember, once bitten twice shy, does not apply in friendship, it is a spark that is created by the Lord. As he cannot be there with us all the time, he sends some good friends, nourish this bond and keep it safely.
If you ask me, I can say, ‘I am a good friend’ and I do not preach what I do not like to practice. I think, I should let my friends speak more on this topic.
]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/are-you-a-good-friend-2349/ Your Beauty Parlour http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/your-beauty-parlour-2174/ Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:08:50 GMT Hey Gals, For a long time, it has been on the back of my mind to put up this blog but I tend to forget about it quiet often. As you have already stepped in with the title, I would love to have your rapt attention while reading this blog as it is no joke. When I go for my walks in the... Hey Gals,

For a long time, it has been on the back of my mind to put up this blog but I tend to forget about it quiet often.

As you have already stepped in with the title, I would love to have your rapt attention while reading this blog as it is no joke.

When I go for my walks in the evening, I have the habit of changing the routes to make it more interesting.

As I change routes, I also get to see the development of that particular place and the new shops or boutiques or some similar things that keep cropping up to cater to the needs of the people.

When it comes to a BEAUTY PARLOUR, I always have a habit of stepping in to find their rates and the comfort level they offer for their clients.

I may try a new parlour for doing my eyebrows as it does not involve any cream, cloth or water (Ha! Ha!).

I also raise a conversation with the girls around and hang a bit to see what best they are giving to their clients.

In many such cases, I have noticed to my utter shock that most of the parlours which run on lease basis have NO 24/7 WATER FACILITY. Forget 24/7, some of them do not have regular water supply too.

My typical journalist nature makes me probe in a very friendly manner of how come they cope with WAXING, FACIAL AND HAIR WASH.

Gals, it is shocking to know that many of them store water in a Sintex Tank (Plastic Tank) which is kept at the atrium hidden away from the clients. They clean the tank on the whole once in year and the water in the tank is never treated for germs and insects. With erratic water supply, it is natural to have very old water in the tank. So, the prime concern is hygiene!

Is your hair safe for a wash in the posh parlour?

Is the sponge which they dip in water and clean your leg has gone through hygiene standards?

What about the combs and scissors which they keep using for hair cuts? It could move from one dandruff scalp to your scalp!

Mind you gals, they are charging a nominal rate from you for the services they offer and this is what they offer.

I had befriended a beautician and she let me sit behind a curtain which is like “Only for Staff’ kind. A client walked in to colour her hair and she had brought in her own colours. They only had to colour her hair and let her go. The lady fished out the colours to the girl in service. She carried it behind the curtain and quickly placed it in a cupboard. After checking for the colour code – Burgundy / Deep Brown / Red./ Mauve etc.. Then she removed some already squeezed tubes from a drawer and started mixing the colours and applying it on that ladies hair.

Is that not shocking?

When I met that lady the other day in the mall, she told me that she has stopped visiting that parlour as after colouring her hair over their she is constantly itching her scalp, so she has started calling a girl who has just finished her beautician course to visit her home and colour her hair!

I have put up this blog to make people aware that 75% of the BEAUTY PARLOUS spend on the interiors and do nothing when it comes to the basics like water and hygiene.

The cream and scrub they use for facial have you checked their expiry dates or the contents of the product, who is the maker and what benefits does it give!

What do I do? I demand an answer from the beauticians about the after supply and the products they use. I check on the expiry date and the make of the product too. Though my visit to the parlour is not quiet often, I make it a point to let them know I AM NOT A FOOL!

It is always good to have a thorough check on the infrastructure of a parlour and also if there is value for money too.

Remember, scalp once destroyed is difficult to be repaired and hygiene is always the shield to all diseases.
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/your-beauty-parlour-2174/ Male Friends and Molestation http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/male-friends-and-molestation-2145/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:37:53 GMT *A couple of months ago, there was an article in newspaper heading the front page about a female working with Tata’s being repeatedly molested by 6 men and few of them were her friends. After the act, they gave her contraceptive pill to let the matter at rest forever. But the girl went ahead and... A couple of months ago, there was an article in newspaper heading the front page about a female working with Tata’s being repeatedly molested by 6 men and few of them were her friends. After the act, they gave her contraceptive pill to let the matter at rest forever. But the girl went ahead and complained to the police.

The above article made me think, how can a young girl in any stage of her life either drunk / sober, go to a room alone with so many male friends. If it is blind trust, she has paid heavily for it.

There was another article of a 14 year old of a famous producer of Bollywood being taken to a hotel room and sexually abused. The father of the girl painted the town red and got the man arrested. Police drew a chart on the character of the accused who would black mail the girls (with what!) and take them to the room. Yeah, he did not own any car or bike; he commuted with them in auto-rickshaw! He took them to the hotels which give rooms on lease on hourly or whatever basis and sexually abuse them. Now, why did the girl not make a big noise when she was ferried by the molester in an auto rickshaw? The driver of the rickshaw would definitely not like to embroil in to police/law and would have refused to take them further, if not so, she could have gathered the attention of the passing vehicles who could have helped her out as in the recent case a child was abducted by a rickshaw driver, but the child made such a ruckus, a few passers by followed the rickshaw driver, gheraoed him and brought him in the books of law.

She sat comfortably with the accused and then she walked to the hotel room with the accused knowing that he is taking a room on lease for few hours after signing a register, was she not aware of what will happen behind the doors! In Mumbai, a 9 year old can draw a big picture of sex life!

I am not supporting the accused, I am just asking, there were so many chances for the girl to escape, to make noise, to ask for help, she did not!

In the Tata employee case, she was a grown up woman walking in to invite rape, she can trust one man, but how come so many of them. After seeing so many men in the room, she should have immediately left the house and not go inside the bedroom to crash!

In both the cases, the man was known to them! What leads to molestation from your own friend! In the first case, was he your friend? How quickly have you trusted him, how much do you know about him? How much do you love yourself that you can give it to somebody so easily? How quick are your reflexes? Do you know where you are being taken? Do you have the telephone number of police cell, have you kept a quick redial service on your phone of the person who can come to your rescue? Have you got a clear picture of the person with whom you are going around with as friend, before you enter with him in to a room? In Mumbai, it happens often, the girl is taken by surprise to see some more males sitting in the room and the boy introducing them to her as his friends? How often have you met these men? Has he discussed about them to you? What are they doing? What do you know about them? Have you had any interaction with these guys any time in life? Have you made it clear with your male friend; you do not like to extend your friendship with all his friends? Have you told him, you are not ‘available’ for all of them? Have you given him an idea that one of the people whom you know is very influential and can get a culprit apprehended within no time? How much of your secrets do you let him know and in how much of time? Does your single status make him feel you must be craving for sex? As he discussed sex with you and have you made it clear, that such discussions are fine only if they remain as discussions and does not mean you are wanting it /or have you told the man, you are not interested in discussing these topics with a male friend, you would prefer to have such discussions with your lover instead.

Most of the females, never ask questions, they just get going, some due to loneliness, some for fun, some out of adventure, some are totally innocent. But nobody can be so innocent to walk in to a room with a man whom you call only a friend!

There are many good men out there, who respect women, at the same time there are many waiting for such opportunities. Never discuss your personal matters with a man whom you have acquainted just for few months, never give out your credit card or bank details to the man in a hurry, think twice before you let him know any of your weaknesses and that includes a spat with your family, friends or your past too. Learn to hold your dignity and walk tall. No man on this earth can touch a woman who can kick him at the right spot when required!

It happens many times to those women who are social and look for partying and fun and also to those woman who have their husbands who do not know how to choose friends and invite some men with roving eyes home. Some eye their friends wife and some their friends daughters too!

In my long career, I do not invite any one home so easily. People stand in queues for ages to even get to know me a bit more. I never discuss my family with anyone, never like to talk much but listen, I am single but know how to keep the distance. I have also smelt lots of fishes in my tenure and have decently avoided from being fished by the wrong man!

Girls, be careful before you trust a man. Have male friends, I have them in plenty, but I keep a safe distance. I do not encourage them to give me any gifts and if they do so, I clearly tell them it does not mean I give the keys of my body to them! I am straight and to the point, the gifts may stop coming and the guy may stop calling, if that is what he wanted, if not he will keep trying too!

]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/male-friends-and-molestation-2145/ <![CDATA[My Daddy's Banian]]> http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/my-daddys-banian-2126/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:26:54 GMT *Vests were in vogue until the early 90’s but slowly disappeared only to return with colours and new style quotient of wearing ‘only vests’ to exhibit the ribbed body!* *Vests are locally called as ‘Banians’ and men made it a point to wear them before they don on their shirt! Guys who wear a... Vests were in vogue until the early 90’s but slowly disappeared only to return with colours and new style quotient of wearing ‘only vests’ to exhibit the ribbed body!

Vests are locally called as ‘Banians’ and men made it a point to wear them before they don on their shirt! Guys who wear a shirt (there were few!) without the famous ‘Banian’ were labeled as ‘hippies’ or ‘Rogues / Mawalis’.

Most of the men always had a huge stock of them in their almirah (wardrobe was yet to be in vogue!).

The oldies wore with sleeves and the trendy youngsters and the middle aged ones wore them without sleeves!

My daddy loved to wear his vests without sleeves and he was very particular of the brand and the material. He loved to buy them and mom always encouraged him to do so, the reasons will be given later!

He would not discard them easily; a small hole at the place where he tucks the vest inside his trousers was not considered for discarding it. Mom would eagerly wait for the hole to appear on the banian and dad would ignore the hole.

The moment a single hole is visible on it, I can hear her saying, “Why don’t you discard that banian? You have so many in stock, but you will not pick a new one and wear, what are you waiting for? In my family, none would wear a banian with a hole even at home and your family… khandaan.. “. Mom had no reason to paint the town red on seeing a small hole on my dad’s banian and that too at a place where he tucks it in his trousers!

Hyper mom would deafen dad’s ears and finally, dad would give it up (mostly in a day or two, in case of all arguments!).

The moment dad discards the banian, mom has a homework to do! After the hearty lunch on a Sunday (Mom is a working woman too!), she would ask us to get ‘that banian’ of daddy. She would sit with a big scissor. Mom would appear as a genius tailor to us or rather a fashion designer. We would sit and watch her do her job. Genius Amma would slowly cut the sides to open the banian, then she would cut the neck line of the banian to make it a broad one piece cloth!

Wow! It is ready to be used as a mop / duster to clean the kitchen table or mop the floors too! Dad after his afternoon siesta would wake up with a pale face to see his banian stained with the first spill of tea on the kitchen platform. “Oh, you have cut and used it also”, Dad would say with some choke in his throat. “What else, can we do with a banian having a hole?” Mom would seal the conversation.:rotfl

Later the same idea was used on his Tee Shirts too!

I dedicate this blog to my best buddy who reminded me of ‘Dads Banian’.:cheers

I ran to the nearest mall to pick up few dusters to give my maid to mop the floor and the matter was urgent as the old ones were nearing to be in tatters! At this point, my best buddy who had buzzed my cell phone told me, “You should have given her your old Tee Shirts, how come you forgot the ‘dad’s banian’ days!:rotfl:rotfl ]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/my-daddys-banian-2126/ Chai, Kapi, Bonda, Cutlet, Yawn zzzzzz http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/chai-kapi-bonda-cutlet-yawn-1797/ Tue, 21 Apr 2009 12:53:21 GMT Hi Folks, Indian Railways is our best friend with their service to the nation running beyond 140 years and has not only earned the title of Asia’s largest Rail Network also has bagged the IT Transformation Award 2006 of NASSCOM. It has grown in leaps and bounds when it comes to connecting... Hi Folks,

Indian Railways is our best friend with their service to the nation running beyond 140 years and has not only earned the title of Asia’s largest Rail Network also has bagged the IT Transformation Award 2006 of NASSCOM. It has grown in leaps and bounds when it comes to connecting towns cities villages and states across the heart of India. We are proud of its achievement aren’t we!

With 70% of the population of India depending on the railways be it passenger trains, goods train or suburban locals what is the facility that the railways offer to the commuters.

Are the coaches designed for proper breeze to flow in freely? Are the 3 tier berth arrangements comfortable for a passenger to sleep peacefully?
Is the toilet facility up to the mark? How many of us are happy with the catering service offered by the railways?

Whether it is an A.C coach or a sleeper coach or a general coach, the facilities are the same!

The catering service has been offering Idli chutney which is a bit close to average, potato Vada is served with sauce (Yuck) – here the vadas boiled in salt and tempered with mustard, do not expect anything mouth watering, occasionally you may see Mirchi Bajjiyas which is again close to average, the famous cutlets and samosas make their rounds too! The vegetable sandwich is absolutely not worth the money! The chaaz or buttermilk is often sour! The biryani or rice plate is yucky yuck! The chai is plain YELLOW WATER! Kapi is better! Cool drinks carry rocket prices! Lunch and Dinner should be avoided totally!

Why can’t we have healthy snacks for tiffin, good meal for lunch and dinner! Why have to suffer!

The ticket prices soar every year after the budget but there has been no change in the aero dynamics of the coach which is existing since ages, the food which is oily and tasteless and the berths which makes a commuter to lay still with little breathing space!

If a commuter has opted for 3 tier AC or sleeper coach and if one of the commuter turns out to be a sleepy joe and loves to roll around can anyone imagine the plight of the other commuter who wishes to sit up and enjoy the passing scenery! Poor guy or gal cannot sit straight as the birth on the top is laid and he has to crawl like a punishment imposed on him or her!

The wash room is disgusting whether it is of an A.C Coach or a General Coach or a Sleeper Coach. There is no cleaner around and the water facility may exhaust without notice. Though there is a halt at the next station, Oh! My God! It does not have the facility to fill the tank of the coaches! A commuter who has to travel overnight may have to bear the stink of the stool and urine till help arrives and may be only in his or her dream!

The windows should be larger in both width and length, there should be little ventilation on the top berth too, the fans should be more speedy, the A.C. should be more cooler, the curtains on the windows needs to be changed often ( do they do that! I doubt my dear friends!), Who needs a pillow and a blanket! What we need is basic facilities which are our right as valid ticket holders!

The worst scenario is none of the railway stations have good catering service; they too sell the same boring dishes across the counter! There are no water coolers on the platform to refilling of water and only the Lord can give us guarantee (if he is ready to appear in front of us!) about the water that is flowing from the taps.

You will find vendors making brisk rounds with buckets of ice and so called mineral water.. some of the names are not ever heard of too! I have seen in many documentaries, when commuters throw water bottles without crushing on the roads and tracks, they are collected by rag pickers and there is a big business behind it. The next stage workers fill the waters from some leaking tap and pass it to the upper level workers who get them finally sealed with a label! That leaves us on the docks! Isn’t it!

Is this what we are looking for when we are traveling by Indian Railways? Beggars hop in the coaches be it A.C or non A.C. with the pretext of cleaning the floors and nudging the commuters for money! You will find many ticketless travelers standing on board; some unreserved ticket holders have entered the reserved coaches too and are standing at the gangway ogling at female commuters who are going to the loo!

The water that flows from the wash basin tap is something thinner than the tears which roll down our eyes! The mirrors are patched up with “paan ki thuk” (eating betel leaves and spitting), somehow, the A.C. coach is spared from it!

The tickets of 2nd A.C. is close to the ticket fare of a cheaper airline, so why will a common man waste his hard earned money and travel by 2nd A.C for 2 days, he would rather take a flight and that is another story on which I will blog later!

When it comes to facilities, common man has to be taken to account and it is because of the common man, revenue is generated! Millions of Indians are still dependent on rail network and it is high time the government gives us better facility.

Thank our stars, we Mumbaikars have finally got a well ventilated train, but with major technology faults which can be erased over a period of time.

Passenger or long distance trains also should be re-designed, security should be tighter in the trains, the windows should be more larger for good view and breeze (Non A.C coach specially), the seats should be broader, the tier seats should have the facility of a person who can sit comfortably if the other one puts down his seat to sleep, the food service should be definitely improved on a grand scale! The toilets need to be cleant and washed often – here I blame the commuters too, who leave all the manners at home! Beggars should be prohibited from entering the coaches!

If anyone has passed his stool when the station has halted at a platform, can you imagine the plight of the people waiting for another train with a fresh stink!
Will the railways listen to our plea?

Yes, if Indians unite and appeal.

Let us use this blog to appeal to the government for a better facility.

Jai Ho!
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/chai-kapi-bonda-cutlet-yawn-1797/ Perfect Cut http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/perfect-cut-1463/ Sun, 22 Feb 2009 06:28:09 GMT I saw setting sun peeping through this window, wanted to captured and successfully managed to do so. Wow! the picture gives an effect of a perfect cut on the window! Isnt it folks! Have a look! I saw setting sun peeping through this window, wanted to captured and successfully managed to do so. Wow! the picture gives an effect of a perfect cut on the window! Isnt it folks!

Have a look!
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/perfect-cut-1463/ Building on Fire! http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/building-on-fire-1462/ Sun, 22 Feb 2009 06:25:58 GMT I had a look at this building and was perturbed to see the whole floor with an orange cum red hue. Is the floor of the much famous building of Dhirubhai Ambani Knowledge City on fire? Was the question in my mind! The next moment I realized it is nothing but the reflection of the setting sun on... I had a look at this building and was perturbed to see the whole floor with an orange cum red hue. Is the floor of the much famous building of Dhirubhai Ambani Knowledge City on fire? Was the question in my mind!

The next moment I realized it is nothing but the reflection of the setting sun on the glass panes of the windows.

Now a days we have more glass and less of cement and bricks for walls!

What is your take on this!

Here goes the picture.
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/building-on-fire-1462/ I can do it! http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/i-can-do-it-1438/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:52:31 GMT When we were driving down the busiest highway of Navi Mumbai, I suddenly saw Jumbo taking his own time to cross the road! The real king was not bothered of the huge traffic jam he had created. Every one behind the wheel was honking, the moment we saw the massive elephant, there was smile on our... When we were driving down the busiest highway of Navi Mumbai, I suddenly saw Jumbo taking his own time to cross the road!

The real king was not bothered of the huge traffic jam he had created. Every one behind the wheel was honking, the moment we saw the massive elephant, there was smile on our face!

Here he goes, slowly! slowly!

Roaming around the streets on an elephant is banned by the government!
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/i-can-do-it-1438/ <![CDATA[A White Pigeon and Valentine's Day!]]> http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/a-white-pigeon-valentines-day-1437/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:48:00 GMT Hey Gals,

I spotted a white pigeon taking some hues on its neck of the pigeon speices and having a white body!

Sure he is the product of a love story! Thought it is apt to post here with the Valentine's Day approaching faster!
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/a-white-pigeon-valentines-day-1437/ We are friends! Believe me! http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/we-are-friends-believe-me-1436/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:44:51 GMT I found a small kitten and an adult dog sitting at a small distance, without interfering with the other. Dogs and cats do not go well with each other is a popular saying, but this picture says something different. I found a small kitten and an adult dog sitting at a small distance, without interfering with the other. Dogs and cats do not go well with each other is a popular saying, but this picture says something different.
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/we-are-friends-believe-me-1436/ We are ready for the ride! http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/we-are-ready-for-ride-1435/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:40:27 GMT I was passing by and suddenly saw two lovely kittens perched on a scooter. They seem to be searching for the rider with a message, "Hey, where are you man, we are ready for the ride!"
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/we-are-ready-for-ride-1435/ My Cushion! http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/my-cushion-1434/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:34:09 GMT I saw this kitty sitting peacefully on a sack of cement. Surely, it is her cushion and serves much better than the leathers, foams and coirs which we have at home! I am sure all you gals will agree to it. I saw this kitty sitting peacefully on a sack of cement. Surely, it is her cushion and serves much better than the leathers, foams and coirs which we have at home!

I am sure all you gals will agree to it.
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]]> malspie http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/malspie/my-cushion-1434/