http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/ IndusLadies is a global online community of Indian Ladies. Discuss and share ideas about topics interesting to Indian Women. They discuss about Cooking,Recipes,Pregnancy,Parenting,Shopping,Articles,Snippets,jokes,work from home,marriage and family,etc. en Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:11:40 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.IndusLadies.com/forums/images/006/misc/rss.jpg http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/counting-my-countless-blessings-2609/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:01:03 GMT I am sixty plus and blessed with a reasonably good life so far. It is interesting to sit and reflect, how I was moulded by the people around me.

I was born in a middle class family in Madurai as the elder daughter of two girls.
My mother, as for most of us, was my ideal. She was & continues to be very good looking. I have always had a regret that I have not inherited her looks! She is a great cook and was very good at tailoring and all types of embroidery and handwork. She kept the house spick and span and dinned into me and my sister her mantra:
A place for everything
And
Everything in its place!
It was from her that I learnt the art of “human relationship”.

My father was a famous surgeon. He died when I was 29. He was a very methodical and a highly organized person. He was a stickler for perfection in everything he undertook.
In fact my mother says that I have taken after him for the obsession for perfection and commitment. My husband says, it is my strength as well as weakness because I carry it to extremes! Living with me for many years, he, perhaps, judges me right!

After marriage, my mother-in-law made me realize the value of self-discipline in all circumstances. She used to say that you should never let yourself go! It was from her that I learnt the habit of getting up early in the morning. Thus, I find time for everything that I want to do and a well planned day is very enjoyable.

My children are my greatest assets. My daughter is my source of strength. She is into social investments and it is fascinating to see how worldly wise, my little girl has become now. I am very fond of my daughter-in-law and tell her, if ever she needs the help of a dear friend, I am just a phone call away. I never make the mistake of asking her to think of me as her mother, since I personally feel there can be no substitute for a biological mother.

I have adorable grandchildren. My grand daughters are my good friends and till today, tease me about my old fashioned dress sense.

I am blessed with a set of good, very close friends! The eldest of them is 15 years older than me and the youngest is younger than my grand daughter. I can very well relate with every one of them, but never take any friendship for granted. I work my best to cherish them.

My husband is a perfect gentleman in every way. By nature, he is a loner & hardly communicates with me! Deafening silence rules our home, the whole day! Over a period of time, I have learnt to live with it and in fact I have started enjoying my own company, if there is such a term. I have learnt to live in the spaces between my thoughts. Probably that explains my enthusiastic interactions with all of you in this forum, which is slowly becoming my second home. He is highly self-willed, stubborn by nature and always a “hard nut to crack”. I have realized in life “ vittu koduppathilum oru sukam irukkirathu!” Of course, let me admit frankly that sometimes I also do “chinna meenai pottu periya meenai izukkirathu”! But he has always given me the right amount of freedom & never questions me on my decisions. Also I cannot help mentioning that he is the most integral part of my life.

My Vedanta classes have opened up new dimensions in my life. I accept that we reap what we sow. This takes care of our thoughts and actions. I am also realizing that we have to accept situations and people as they are. We cannot change them, but we can change our attitude to them.

Change what you can
Accept what you cannot!

I now have begun to think that every year in my life is a bonus for me. Looking back, I have no regrets for God has been kind to me. I can confidently say that I have no major unfulfilled ambitions in life. The rest of my life, I just pray God to give me good health & mental stamina to flow with the tide.

Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/counting-my-countless-blessings-2609/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/do-you-celebrate-your-friend-2563/ Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:41:39 GMT Do you celebrate your friend’s success? We wish our friends well. BUT wait a minute! Do we, *really*? Well…………..Not *THAT* well! I know, you are going to be incensed hearing me say this. But let us accept, we are human, after all. We want our friends to succeed, but when they do and outshine... Do you celebrate your friend’s success?
We wish our friends well.
BUT wait a minute! Do we, really?
Well…………..Not THAT well!
I know, you are going to be incensed hearing me say this. But let us accept, we are human, after all. We want our friends to succeed, but when they do and outshine us, the fear does show up!
Let us be honest to ourselves – when we feel down, we tolerate easily hearing about a friend’s misfortune than his success! The identification factor gives us comfort in mind. If our friend is very much like us, we feel comfortable. Rest assured that it is natural for everybody to feel this way. Nothing alienates people like success. This is an unwritten law of life.
It is not without the reason that people who reach the top say ‘It is lonely at the top’. Eagles fly alone at the heights they are used to.
Allow your friends to celebrate their success without yourself feeling intimidated and join them happily. Also learn to sympathize with their failures without feeling a secret satisfaction about them. Your friends must have the confidence in you that if they share their success stories with you, you will feel no pang of jealousy, envy or hatred in you. Learn to say “you do deserve this success and none, more”! You are likely to be right. You will certainly be a friend.
Let us learn to accept these words:
I am happy for my friend’s happiness. Sharing their happiness is my happiness.
Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/do-you-celebrate-your-friend-2563/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/i-have-greatest-endorsement-my-2532/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:38:48 GMT We must first understand that our best self is an island within us. That is our source of power. To find the source, first we must believe in our own selves. My belief is the root of my strength and it is the best endorsement, I give myself! That is one place where I do not bother if others... We must first understand that our best self is an island within us. That is our source of power. To find the source, first we must believe in our own selves.

My belief is the root of my strength and it is the best endorsement, I give myself!
That is one place where I do not bother if others resent me or if that disappointed me.

There, I imagine, I accomplish every job that I undertake to my utmost satisfaction.
Consequently, I do not receive a less favourable comment even from my worst critic about what I do! I have no worry at all whether I am doing the right thing, since I do the things only right.

I am my own person only there – I am not a daughter, spouse or mother with a tag.

You need to believe in yourself to accomplish your goal, to give, to take, to love, to be open.
Others’ assessment of us do matter to us, to the extent that they remind us to believe in ourselves. In the past, our actions may have been resented by others and we may have been bitterly disappointed. But still, if we are here today at this stage of life, it is because we have belief in us.

Very often we accomplish some things successfully, much to our satisfaction. It does happen that it draws a less favourable comment from somebody else. Immediately we start worrying whether what we did was right at all! This doubt should not arise, if we believe in ourselves and happy with whatever we did, the way we wanted.

Nobody can prevent you from being your own person. We must learn to take a risk and not be afraid of taking care of ourselves.

Our belief is always our invention, our fantasy of our best, our acceptance and definitely our dream!

SO,
Believe in your passion.
Believe in your gift.
Believe in your purpose.

My personal motto is:
I believe in me.
I believe in my gift.
That
The best is yet to be..

Love,
Chithra.
]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/i-have-greatest-endorsement-my-2532/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/who-will-cry-when-i-2494/ Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:42:51 GMT Friends, please do not think, this is an ode or sequel to Who will cry when we die? That was written by Robin S. Sharma, an acclaimed international guru who guides readers towards enlightenment. The success of his best seller ‘The monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ is nothing less than sensational! ... Friends, please do not think, this is an ode or sequel to
Who will cry when we die?

That was written by Robin S. Sharma, an acclaimed international guru who guides readers towards enlightenment. The success of his best seller ‘The monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ is nothing less than sensational!

But what I write here is my own ‘ponderings’!
We think that we must leave behind a legacy if we want people to cry and mourn our death, though they will be secretly waiting to grab our physical assets! I personally think, we must undertake the seemingly impossible task of manifesting the fullness of our God-given talents, however meager they may be in our judgment.
We should live such a life that the world cries when we die! Who wouldn’t ask for that?

Of course, I realize writing this is simple, but to follow it is definitely complex. This is definitely a lifelong pursuit and needs a strong determination of our goal towards self improvement. Am I sounding like a moral science teacher? I hope not!

By practising balance, control and effectiveness in thoughts and words, we will realize that others find it a pleasure to interact with us. So we start with the idea that “the pleasure of my improvement will be others’, not mine!” To think this way is not easy either!

Once our material pursuit is over in life, we must identify our calling & make it our way of life. It is at this stage that our life starts changing for the better. We all want to be the person which we never are, ultimately! But that is beside the point.

I think I am going through this phase personally,after all these years, in my life and hence I am able to appreciate this point better! We struggle to establish an identity for ourselves throughout our life, but very often, only unsuccessfully! Last but not the least, we are happy with ourselves and this inner satisfaction radiates to those around us.

We have to develop the habit of regularly spending time to be in communion with nature and to silently witness the intelligence within every living thing. We stop asking the ’whys’ to God!! We also learn to be mature enough to see troubles as blessings which teach us valuable lessons in life.

It is rightly said that tough men last but tough times don’t! I personally feel this trait cannot be cultivated, but we come to accept it only when life takes its toll on us, mercilessly, sometimes.

Yet another thing I have been practising, ever since I attended my energy classes is this. Whenever we give away money, if we bless it and give, it comes back to us manifold! This only proves the timeless truth that the hand that gives is the hand that gathers. To bless the money every time we give cash or cheque – does sound odd and funny, but even once you are proved right, you start practising it – who does not want money to come back, multiplied?

We must also respect our own instincts – the voice within! It helps us decide whether that thought or action is within or outside our “comfort zone” as we call it. If we replace the word ‘voice within’ with this phrase, it looks within our reach!

We have to choicelessly cope with the rat race of life, but at the same time, sharing our knowledge with the world at large!
The more I live, the harder I want to work and rejoice in life for its own sake. Only then I would have been fully used up when I die and hopefully, people who know me will cry! I want to tell myself that when I die, my life will end and not my relationship with others. This is because death cancels everything but the truth.

While I have not fully learnt how to live, I have been learning how to die – a paradox?? Perhaps the reason why I think about death is because I love life very much! Ironical, this sounds! Thoughts of death make me think more on the lines of how good I should live!

I love the quote:
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

Love,
chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/who-will-cry-when-i-2494/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/a-zestful-view-of-senility-2448/ Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:34:20 GMT The following appeared in the "Hindu Metroplus" last year. I have very slightly modified it from second person to first person, because I am one myself!
"Who said old age is boring? Remember, with silver in our hair, gold in our teeth, stones in our kidney, lead in our feet and gas in our stomach, we are worth a fortune”!

My young Friends, never underestimate us! The status of senior citizen is not always dull and boring. On some days I think 24 hours are not enough. We just need to keep ourselves physically and mentally fit. I am as old as I feel! Developing a taste based on individual preferences, we can keep boredom at bay.

Last night a friend phoned at 9 PM & asked me if she woke me up! I was surprised! She probably thinks we sleep by 8 closely on the heels of the setting sun!

My arthritic knees can put the Chennai Meteorological Service to shame in predicting rain!
When we talk of the three lettered word, it is not on the physical level but spiritual, I mean ‘AUM’!
I am no longer a hypochondriac but a Doctor’s delight!
When we have so many points in our favour, who wouldn’t like to grow old?

We, senior citizens, do not want diamonds and chocolates (not that they are not welcome, if they come our way! We would only love them and grab them!:-D ). Most of the things we want are not materialistic! We only want an identity of our own, which, sadly, is not available off-the-rack!

We learn by experience “not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it". We only pray for gracious energy and enthusiasm.

Every one gets old; but very few grow old. Life can be beautiful when you grow old but dull when you simply get old.

I love the following lines of Victor Hugo

What a grand thing, to be loved!
What a grander thing still, to love!

Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/a-zestful-view-of-senility-2448/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/worry-thy-name-is-woman-2407/ Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:41:52 GMT Why is worrying considered a female attribute? Or Is it really true?? The line that separates worry and anxiety is very thin! We do worry about small things like, children not doing well academically, husband returning from office very late on any particular day without keeping us... Why is worrying considered a female attribute?
Or
Is it really true??

The line that separates worry and anxiety is very thin!

We do worry about small things like,
children not doing well academically,
husband returning from office very late on any particular day without keeping us informed about it etc.

But, ultimately it is the mental make up of the individual woman which decides her attitude.

Generally, men do not let emotions override other things. They look out for a method to resolve the problem. Unless, of course it is beyond them.

If the children do not eat properly we start worrying about it. But our husbands coolly tell us “starve him or her for a day – she will feel hungry and come to you asking for food!” Why do we not ever think on those lines, but get anxious?

Men are more casual but analytical. Perhaps it is their conditioning that makes them feel that they have to be composed and take charge of the situation.

For career women, the tendency is to show greater commitment and they feel a constant need to prove themselves. They worry about potential uncertainties and sadly, these traits get extended to their domestic life too. These worries, most of them being superficial, annoy not only the family, but colleagues too!

Perhaps the gender infuses typical traits in man and woman. Still the individual personality does play a major part.

But, we women have to remember that our worries leave in trail, other problems such as health disorders.

Men, on the other hand, suppress their feelings and end up drinking and smoking to distress!
Since ultimately, worries erode us, we have to become emotionally intelligent. We must be aware and in control of our feelings. We play multiple roles in present day life and hence we have to equip ourselves with the requisite coping skills for our own survival!! We must focus more on resolving issues and on our health too! This will make our family proud of us!

I love this quote:
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow
It only snaps today of its joy!

Love,
Chithra.



]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/worry-thy-name-is-woman-2407/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/choice-does-lead-to-conflict-2305/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 05:04:27 GMT Conflict arises only when we have two opposing, and apparently incompatible ideas! So, in its most basic form conflict arises only from conscious choice! The only explanation you ever need for doing what you want is: “This is my choice”. If so, conflict does not arise. People who love you... Conflict arises only when we have two opposing, and apparently incompatible ideas!
So, in its most basic form conflict arises only from conscious choice!

The only explanation you ever need for doing what you want is: “This is my choice”.
If so, conflict does not arise. People who love you will understand. People who do not, will not!!

You need not bother to convince anyone of anything. You are answerable only to yourself for your choice. Do not entertain conflicting ideas in your own mind. Your conviction in what you did is right, is all that matters.

It is our choice to make our own decisions – where to go, what to do etc. A conflicting idea from others need not bother us, if we do not whole-heartedly agree with what they want us to do. Only we know our limitations, and reality is creativity’s best inspiration.

It is always our choice whether or not we wish to pay the price for life’s rewards. And often it is better not to pay the price, for the price might be our integrity. We could be forced to praise someone whom we don’t respect! We just need to take one little step!

Be a little braver.

I strongly believe that

I need nothing from others but understanding.
I give what I need to myself.
Whoever loves me, loves me.
Whoever does not, does not!

Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/choice-does-lead-to-conflict-2305/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/perfectly-imperfect-2248/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:11:50 GMT We all know that though we are far from perfect, we love to pretend that we are the epitome of perfection! Anyone who knows us also knows that we are not. Perfection is an attribute of the Divine and it is not given to humans! When we are kids, we imagine that we can grow up perfect – but... We all know that though we are far from perfect, we love to pretend that we are the epitome of perfection! Anyone who knows us also knows that we are not.
Perfection is an attribute of the Divine and it is not given to humans!

When we are kids, we imagine that we can grow up perfect – but nothing can be far from truth. In our childhood, parents are protective of us, which makes us think, they are perfect. As we grow up, we realise that they are also human and their imperfection in many spheres is a painful revelation for us. We also realise that even if they are imperfect, they are worthy of our love.

When we grow up, we have a lurking fear that if we are not perfect, others will withdraw from us and abandon us! The fear of not being lovable, because of our imperfections, haunts us. But as we grow up, we realise that everybody, perfect in one way, is far from perfect in many other ways. This is a great consolation, in fact!

What are we going to do about that?
We are never going to be perfect and none of the people whom we thought were perfect, never were.

So, let us give up being perfect and accept ourselves as we are.
We need to love ourselves, warts and all.
We become lovable to others only by admitting our imperfections.

I love this quote:
Here, I am, flaws and all.
Waiting for nothing, giving my love!

Love,
Chithra

]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/perfectly-imperfect-2248/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/give-more-to-get-more-2184/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:36:09 GMT The most wonderful divine law in life is, whatever you give to others, comes back to you manifold. This is most true of knowledge. You become more knowledgeable by sharing your knowledge. It is strange to see some people not sharing the vital information for fear of the others gaining an edge... The most wonderful divine law in life is, whatever you give to others, comes back to you manifold.

This is most true of knowledge. You become more knowledgeable by sharing your knowledge. It is strange to see some people not sharing the vital information for fear of the others gaining an edge over themselves! But, what is the need for such a fear?? Is there not pleasure in sharing?

By giving happiness to others, we become happier.
By giving money to others, we will become more prosperous – this is an undeniable law of energy which flows circularly.

There is a maxim:
You save whatever you give to others;
You actually lose whatever you keep with you.
I wonder how many will agree with this?!

What is the philosophy of ‘give’ and ‘take’?

Whenever you give, your consciousness expands and your giving gets closer to your real nature. Our real nature is divine nature of bliss, happiness, peace and full of goodness and all virtues of life.

On the other hand, whenever we think of only getting things from others, our consciousness shrinks and we get closer to lower nature. This is a selfish attitude that takes us away from our ultimate goal.

Giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. The universe operates through dynamic exchange, nothing being static.

We can practise the non-material forms of giving like caring, attention, affection, appreciation and love.

I learnt this in an energy class:
When you meet someone, you can silently send them a blessing, wishing them well.
This kind of silent giving is very powerful.
Paying a compliment or praying for a friend is also ‘giving’.

Let us all remember, the more you give, the more confidence you will gain in the miraculous effect of this ‘law of giving’.

Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/give-more-to-get-more-2184/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/you-have-right-say-no-2118/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:38:43 GMT Very often, when the situation warrants a ‘no’ for an answer from us, do we say that boldly? Rarely!! We must be confident, straight forward and courageous enough to say that, without hesitation as well. A ‘no’ can save us from a lot of unpleasantness. We do tend to get carried away by others’... Very often, when the situation warrants a ‘no’ for an answer from us, do we say that boldly? Rarely!!

We must be confident, straight forward and courageous enough to say that, without hesitation as well. A ‘no’ can save us from a lot of unpleasantness. We do tend to get carried away by others’ influence.
If we are right, our commitment to our belief should be strong enough to withstand even the most severe opposition. There is no need to offer a lengthy justification for our ‘No’.

If we don’t want to do something, we must have the conviction to say 'no'. The ease with which we say 'no', is a good measure of our freedom and potential for happiness.
We say 'no', when we are afraid of hurting someone, causing a scene, testing another person’s feelings towards us. But by saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’, we only set up the other person to expect us to continue saying ‘yes’. Is it always possible? No!
Finally, when we reach a stage when we cannot anymore say ‘yes’, we really disappoint the other person! We cut a sorry figure as though we don’t know our own mind and create an opening for a dispute!

We don’t owe it to anyone to feel compelled to do what we don’t want to do! It is as simple as that. But we very often feel uncomfortable and unnecessarily obliged. Then saying 'no' seems anything but simple. This is possible if we have said ‘yes’ for long and without sincerity! We are scared that we owe explanations to our previous deceptions and might have to correct them.

Assuming this is true, this will not go away until we begin to say 'yes' only when we really mean it. Otherwise say ‘no’ and the problem is no more yours, it is the other person’s!
BUT
Being straightforward should not be confused with arrogance. We must continue to be polite and respectful even if we say ‘no’. Our aim is not to hurt others but our own self-development. If a person has a negative mentality, he is going to view everything that way, what you say or do. Let us concentrate more on ourselves, what we are doing, whether it is right or wrong in our view, than on others!

How I feel is enough to know what I want.

Love,
Chithra.




]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/you-have-right-say-no-2118/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/are-you-lazy-2058/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:33:51 GMT Do what you love – then, you are never lazy! We feel lazy when we don’t find any purpose in what we are doing! Particularly if our work is going to benefit another person, we feel more disinclined, call it lazy! Sometimes, we think laziness means “not now”, but soon, it becomes “never”.... Do what you love – then, you are never lazy!
We feel lazy when we don’t find any purpose in what we are doing! Particularly if our work is going to benefit another person, we feel more disinclined, call it lazy!

Sometimes, we think laziness means “not now”, but soon, it becomes “never”.
There are times when , though we love our work, we push it away. We are only afraid of the right work because we don’t want to discover unpleasant truths about ourselves.
The right work tells on us, undoubtedly!
It reveals at times our incompetency.
It reveals that we are not as talented as we think or others think, we are.
It reveals that there is nothing special about us!
It reveals that we have to grow still and go a long way to reach our target!

When we are lazy with our work, we have to helplessly watch others marching ahead with success!! Laziness is very often the rust which hides the brilliance in us; then why pamper laziness??
I wonder how the present generation pampers laziness with fast food – ready mix, food packages, frozen food… You order them and they arrive at your door steps!!
Friends, I am an old timer, no doubt, but this is simply beyond my comprehension! Where is all the pleasure of lovingly cooking for your family, what they like and ask for,
gone?? Or, Is laziness interpreted for convenience as ”lack of time”??

Our life started long back. Are we on the right road? Are we doing what we like to be doing? If yes, what is all this laziness about?

I love the lines:
"Know the true value of time: snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination; never put off till tomorrow what you can do today."

Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/are-you-lazy-2058/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/magnetic-chain-1935/ Mon, 18 May 2009 03:49:19 GMT The magnetic chain which encompasses the Universe, I am sure, has tied us all together! Mother’s milk, lover’s look, Friend’s smile are all the links in that rope. The variety of tunes that arise are Love, affection, friendship and fondness Not to forget devotion to Him. We yearn for... The magnetic chain which encompasses the Universe,
I am sure, has tied us all together!

Mother’s milk, lover’s look,
Friend’s smile are all the links in that rope.
The variety of tunes that arise are
Love, affection, friendship and fondness
Not to forget devotion to Him.

We yearn for that invisible gentle rope
We do not want release from it as well!
We love eternal imprisonment, infact!!

We bow to the power which rules us not,
But we love to be the slaves happily!
We feel a prey to it as to lovely music
We love the dew drops that fall on us!

It is a strange equation of life!
Loss becomes gain in that, at times!
Like a candle which melts
But that is what it is meant for!!

Tears are sometimes the language
But noises are muted surprisingly!
We rise above our miseries
Thanks to the untold powers of love!

The twinkle of the stars
The fragrance of flowers
The rain from the skies
The meaning of words
All constitute that chain!!

We are the fish swimming in that sea
We say “open, Seasame” to open up ourselves

All originate from that chain!.
All originate for that chain!!

Love,
Chithra.





]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/magnetic-chain-1935/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/how-tolerant-are-you-1868/ Mon, 04 May 2009 04:57:49 GMT Friends, my tolerance level was low when I was young. I did pay a price for it on many issues in life and gradually developed it as I grew up. Tolerance is extolled as a virtue – I do not know, if it is! It is just showing respect to a point of view which is different from ours. Our opinions,... Friends, my tolerance level was low when I was young. I did pay a price for it on many issues in life and gradually developed it as I grew up.

Tolerance is extolled as a virtue – I do not know, if it is! It is just showing respect to a point of view which is different from ours. Our opinions, practices may all be different, but our tolerance gives us the time and inclination to take a serious look at the other person’s point of view. We may or may not agree, but such tolerance opens our mind to look at things from different perspectives.
It essentially means showing respect to the other person’s mental processes.

We need to develop tolerance for the shortcomings and defects of others, whom we come across in life regularly. Very often, we are hurt by others for reasons best known to them but remain incomprehensible to us. Hurting others for no apparent reason is the habit with some, sadly. Is there anything we can do except shouting back at them, pleading innocence? But that can never be an effective remedy nor can it bring any solace to us. Silence can be a far more effective repartee in such circumstances.

At such times, remaining passive to unreasonable and unjustifiable hurt caused by others strengthens our mind. Gradually our mind becomes immune to all harmful effects directed against us and we achieve an indescribable inner peace.
BUT
If somebody’s activities appear harmful for the society or mankind at large, tolernce is best not practised. We must raise our voice as a responsible person of the society and should not remain silent.

Timidity shows our weakness
Tolerance shows our power.

By raising our voice, I do not mean, we should indulge in destroying public property etc. We must actively and verbally protest and take such steps which are within our resources and power.

Now coming from the macro level to the micro level! What prompted me to write this post is the tolerance practised by my friend’s husband. Yes, he put an end to my thought process that in general, women are more tolerant than men!
She lives in a dream world and thinks she is a special human being. She snaps at him for every small incident and pulls a long face for the most imaginary reason. For the slightest reason or after every argument, she runs out of the house shouting that she is going to commit suicide. Knowing exactly that she will plank herself in the car park, he goes, pacifies her and brings her back home. I call him, the “mount of patience and tolerance”. He says, he has understood her nature so well, that unless he practises tolerance, they cannot live together!!

In our married life , our ability lies in not creating or originating those circumstances which awaken the irritants in our spouse. We must remember that old habits and negative traits react more powerfully when confronted or criticised. At such times, tolerance only helps.

Be strict for yourself, but, tolerant for the shortcomings and defects of others – this is the valuable lesson, I have learnt by observing my friend!

Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/how-tolerant-are-you-1868/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/in-pursuit-of-our-passion-1775/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 03:38:29 GMT It is my strong belief that our passions in life are not to be brushed aside for the fear what other people may think about us. By constantly worrying about what others may think of us, we make their feelings take precedence over our own. I always tell myself, just like we are going to die our own... It is my strong belief that our passions in life are not to be brushed aside for the fear what other people may think about us. By constantly worrying about what others may think of us, we make their feelings take precedence over our own. I always tell myself, just like we are going to die our own death, we might as well live our own life subject, of course, to the dictates of our conscience. Don’t we deserve to be happy just for ourselves occasionally?
By sacrificing yourself, hoping that others will reward you or make your life better, you are only deluding yourself. The only explanation you ever need for doing what you want is ‘This is the way I want ’. We must shape our life to follow our instincts, our inclinations and our preferences. But we must be prepared to take responsibility for everything we do.

I personally consider it the greatest gift we can give our children if we teach them to take responsibility for whatever they do.

Following inner desires leads you to be happy inwardly for yourself. You continue to grow and become your best. Your belief in yourself becomes your life. We must remember that our heart always gives the truest direction to our dreams! We can never deny this.
Accept that your direction, force, scheme of things and reason all vest with you.

But, remember, when following your passions, we must be ready to learn and ready to risk. Believe that you are your strength and do not be afraid to look within.
I love this quotation
Let me dream my life,
Let me not dream my life away!

Love,
Chithra.


]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/in-pursuit-of-our-passion-1775/ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/god-give-us-back-our-1729/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:01:30 GMT Come folks, it is time to lament The loss of our childhood and its innocence. We say, child is the father of man, But the child in us is no more! We gained knowledge with age, But lost the paradise of innocence! We smiled soon after we cried, Come folks, it is time to lament
The loss of our childhood and its innocence.

We say, child is the father of man,
But the child in us is no more!

We gained knowledge with age,
But lost the paradise of innocence!

We smiled soon after we cried,
We never worried much,
We loved simple pleasures,
But what happened to those days?

There was pleasure in
not knowing many things
But,
Once we know those things
There is no more pleasure!
Is knowledge not good?

We were roaming around happily,
But bear the brunt of life heavily now!

We had divinity in us as children,
Where did we lose it when we grew up?
Is growth such a curse?

We shone like full moon,
But now have become “no or new moon”!
Why did we shed our brightness?
Is advancing age a disease?

We were called angels,
Alas, we are now devils, almost.
We cried if our toys broke,
But, massacre people now
In the name of communalism or terrorism!

We loved to play “hide and seek”,
But now we are searching our own selves!

Dear God, give us back our innocence,
We seek not anything more!

Love,
Chithra. ]]> Chitvish http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/chitvish/god-give-us-back-our-1729/