IndusLadies - Blogs

IndusLadies - Blogs http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/ IndusLadies is a global online community of Indian Ladies. Discuss and share ideas about topics interesting to Indian Women. They discuss about Cooking,Recipes,Pregnancy,Parenting,Shopping,Articles,Snippets,jokes,work from home,marriage and family,etc. en Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:52:34 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.IndusLadies.com/forums/images/006/misc/rss.jpg IndusLadies - Blogs http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/ The Burnt Toast http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/justani/the-burnt-toast-2606/ Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:09:02 GMT Something which we all MUST remember..... and share..... When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a... Something which we all MUST remember..... and share.....

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at mymom, and ask me how my day was at school. I dont remember what she told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on thattoast and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my momapologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I’ll never forget what he said:Baby, I love burned toast.

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, Debbie,your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides alittle burnt toast never hurt anyone! You know, life is full of imperfectthings .. and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And thats my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet ofGOD. Because in the end, He is the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isnt a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!!

Dont put the key to your happinessin someone else’s pocket but into your own.

]]> JustAni http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/justani/the-burnt-toast-2606/ An open letter from a mother to her newly married daughter-5 http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/mithila-kannan/open-letter-mother-her-newly-2605/ Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:18:19 GMT An open letter from a mother to her newly married daughter-5 _Training sons for marriage_. My dear Nimmoo, The tension and excitement about the swine flu is over and life is almost normal once again.Hope you are all fine. I want to share with you so many things. An open letter from a mother to her newly married daughter-5

Training sons for marriage.

My dear Nimmoo,

The tension and excitement about the swine flu is over and life is almost normal once again.Hope you are all fine.

I want to share with you so many things.

Yesterday evening Jyothi came to our house.Jyothi is my little friend and chatting with her,playing with he drives away my blues.She is a bubbly girl who is about six years old.

Yesterday when she came to our house,she was not her normal self.Her face had become small and she was sitting quietly in front of the tv.I let her be.After sometime,she came to me and said,”Aunty,are boys more special than girls?”.

I said,”No,both boys and girls are equally important my child.why do you ask that question?”
She said,”Aunty,amma has given birth to a baby boy,no?My grand mother says,”Thank God, atlast God has been kind to her and has given her a son and not a daughter again.”I felt very sad,aunty.”

I pacified her and sent her home.But I have been thinkingabout this.
My dear Nimmoo,training for Jyothi’s younger brother has started right from now.He is being trained to be a pucca male chauvinist.When people at home, particularly the mother feels that she is more blessed to have a male child,her attitude towards her son and daughter does not remain the same.She is bound to give more importance, more attention to her son and this attitude will fan his self importance and he will grow up, believing that he belongs to a special species.Poor mother! she does not know that she has dug a deep pit of sorrows for herself, her son’s happiness and that of her future DIL.

This incident took me back to my younger days.I was a young girl studying in school and my brother was only two years elder to me.More than my mother,my grand nmother gave him so much of importance.When my father and my brother wee not in town ,my mother would make very simple food for the three of us ie my grandmother,me and herself.It was always rasam and roasted pappad.When I insisted on mother making some vegetables for me,my grandmother would shout.”Only we three women are there at home no?Why should we make subjis?This simple food is enough for we women.I used to cry sometimes, out of humiliation that I was considered a little less of a humanbeing by my grandmother and mother.This continued till I got married.I put an end to this practice when I became mother to a girl and a boy and have treated them and loved them showing no difference whatsoever.

Nimmoo I was amused and irritated at the same time, when I visited my elder sister’s house the other day.My youngest nephew who is working for an MNC was roaming around the house.wearing only his shorts,SHORTS my dear in the real sense of the word! Inspite of my being a mother figure to him,I was mighty embarrassed and imagine, I had to converse with him also.Then he went up and started exercising and I could see girls from the neighbourhood,some of them almost blushing scurrying down.

Nimmoo,my sister is a very strict mother.She would not allow her daughter wearing salwar kameez without a duppatta.Why is she not strict with her son?

I can see you smiling and thinking to yourself,”Oh dear,boys are like that!”But Nimmoo such boys who are not given proper upbringing grow up as insensitive men who do not care about other’s, particularly ladies’ feelings.I can give you countless examples, where such boys remain boys and never grow up, even whey get married.Their wives suffer,mostly in silence.

Radha,my cousin’s DIL visited us a couple of months back.I could see that she wanted to tell me something but did not know how to go about it.Finally she opened her heart to me.

She said,”Mami,Your nephew ie my husband Sundar is a wonderful husband.He is highly educated,he neve flirts,He is a genuine person.But my married life with him is miserable.I need your help.”

I kept quiet,she continued,”Mami,his personal habits are deplorable to say the least.Once he finishes eating,he leaves the plate as it is and gets up to wash his hands.I can’t bear to see his plate,it is always left in such a mess.He leaves the left over food in the plate itself and even washes his hand in the plate and walks away.I nearly vomit everytime I wash his plate.

I dread using the bathroom after he finishes using the bathroom.He always leaves the bathroom in a total mess,I just don’t want to go into the details,mami, for fear that you will retch.He leaves the soiled clothes on the bath room floor only,I have to pick them up and put them in the bucket that I have kept in the bathroom specifically for that purpose.

He is in the habit of wearing only his tight shorts ,with not even a banian on top .When my colleagues or friends or relatives come home also,he goes around the house in the same fashion.Well, I have stopped calling friends over for fear that both I and my DH will become the object of their ridicule.Her eyes had misted.

I asked her,”Why don’t you discuss these issues with him?Why don’t you tell him in a nice pleasant manner that these small things irritate you no end?”She said,”Mami ,I have tried telling him in many ways.But he never listens.He says,”Well, my mother never complained about such things to me.She never found fault with me.You are only making a big fuss about such small things.” I told her that she had to tell him that he was making it difficult for her to run a clean home and was also disturbing her mental peace.She nodded her head and went away.

After a couple of months she came to our house carrying a big bunch of flowers.”Mami,Sundar has changed a lot now, Mami.He has bcome such a sweet heart.He is a pucca gentleman now”and beamed.I was happy.How did this happen”.Radha sat with her husband and discussed these issues with him very patiently and in a very diplomatic at the same time in a firm manner.Sundar, by God’s grace is a really good heared boy,so he took his wife’s suggestions in the right spirit and miracles happened.Now Radha says that her husband is more house proud than her and it is a pleasure for her to call her and his friends home for dinner or snacks.He insists that they both clear up the kitchen, once the guests leave and leave the kitchen tidy and neat.

Radha is a lucky girl and she also took pains to approach this subject with her husband tactfully,without hurting him. If Sundhar was an obstinate person who never wanted his wife’s advice either both of them would be suffering in silence through out their lives or they would have separated.Wel,l you have to give credit to Sundhar’s parents that they brought up their son as a democratic person,respecting other’s view point and a humble boy who accepted his faults and was ready to correct them.

There are mothers who do not allow their sons in the kitchen.According to them,kitchen is not their domain.These mothers definitely don’t allow their sons to help their wives in the kitchen.”Why should he work in the kitchen?That is the wife’s work”Little do these mothers realize that they they are deprive their son and daughter in law the million opportunities to show their concern for each other and to bind well with each other.Such understanding and love between the spouses is worth all the millions in the world.Most sons also listen to their mothers and are afraid of serving their wives a glass of water for fear that they would be branded as hen pecked husbands.Un fortunately they are the losers.

My dear Nimmoo,please don’t think that Iam holding only the mothers responsible for the good and bad in their children,particularly their sons, since we are discussing them only now.
As Iam writing this to you,I can hear sobs and screams from one of the huts that have come up recently near our house.Some construction activity is taking place in our area and the labourers, who work there have put up huts near our house,where the live with their families.Opposite our house is a dwelling, where a mason lives with his wife and his eleven year old son, who is studying school.The father comes home every night totally drunk,demands money from his wife to go out and drink more.If she gives the money,ok.If she does not, then she gets solid beatings from him and gets bruised all over.The husband is not at all bothered.His son is growing up, watching his father treating his wife so shabbily.He is seeing that his father’s word is law and the father is a hero to him.When he grows up ninety percent, he will be like his father only.He would grow up, believing that he has to be tough with his wife.He may become a highly educated person,he may become very rich,he may move in cultured circles, but most of the time, he would be a man who can not show respect to a woman,be she his mother,his wife or his colleague..

Nimmoo ,my dear,I can see that affectionate smile on your face.I know that you are thinking about your father of whom you are very proud.

Your father was and is a wonderful son to his parents,dotes on his mother,he is a caring husband and is an affectionate brother.In all these years of my married life, I have not seen him raising his voice with his parents or his sisters .You yourself have seen him as a loving husband to your mother who never failed to compliment her even when she wore a new saree.Your elder brother whose only rolemodel is his father, is turning out to be exactly like his father.He is a wonderful caring son and I know how affectionate he is with you.He dotes on his wife and Iam proud of him.Your father showed him the track on which he is walking and your brother has followed him and he has not regretted it Iam sure.

Kudos to the father who shows affection to his wife in front of his children.Iam not saying that he should hug and kiss her,no that’s not our culture.but definitely he can be a little demonstrative,put his arms around her shoulders,get her presents on her birthday,praise her in front of his children.Let them see for themselves that he loves her and respects her as well.This father is laying a strong foundation for his childrens’ happy married life.His children are going to grow up as caring individuals,particularly his son will have a wonderful married life.
All the mothers of young girls to be married, would pray for a husband like him for their daughters.Iam sure all the Gods in heaven would bless the parents who have brought up such a gem of a boy.

My dear Nimmoo,I was thrilled when your MIL rang up to te;ll me that you will be a mother soon.My joy knows no bounda.Nimmoo ,your thoughts and your dreams will have a bearing on your child that has started his or her life in your womb.Be happy,be cheerful,get ready to welcome your child into this world whether the child is a girl or a boy with warmth and affection.Iam sure that you will make a great mother .your husband a wonderful father.

All the best to both of you.

Lots of love
AMMA ]]> mithila kannan http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/mithila-kannan/open-letter-mother-her-newly-2605/ God is helping me... http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/infinitehopes/god-is-helping-me-2603/ Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:05:21 GMT Sometimes I feel, God creates situations and forces me to help people. I think this is to balance the bad and the good :-)

Well, here is one such "category" of situations. Whenever I travel abroad, at least one person approaches me for filling the Immigration form. It is not necessary for that person to sit next to me and hence become entitled to being helped, but they may be sitting in the row behind or ahead of me or somewhere far away too. I guess I just appear to be really free.

Not that I mind helping them, but it is such an awkward situation.

For one, you do not know them.
They handover the form, passport to you.
The form has questions like "have you ever committed crime" - I always wonder - what if that person says "yes", I was once caught carrying drugs !!!
Then there are questions like "Are you carrying more than $10000?" - As if he / she is going to tell me.

Typically the travellers who need help are elderly people and are going to visit their kids and are really bogged down by the formalities. So naturally, we want to help them.

But I sometimes worry about the security aspect...what if they have really committed crime in the past, what if they are carrying something illegal? If caught by the authority, will (s)he tell, "I had told her, but she didn't write it in the form and its not my fault."

That's the risk I always think of, but still always take... I make it a point I ask them all the questions as it is - no matter how embarassing it is for them and for me. I feel, it will be my bad luck if I am booked under the offense of "helping someone"!

What's your take on it ladies? I am sure you encountered similar situations. ]]> infinitehopes http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/infinitehopes/god-is-helping-me-2603/ Miracles do happen!! http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/lizykunwar/miracles-do-happen-2594/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:25:30 GMT It was a breezy Friday evening; the sun had just set leaving red splashes all around. I was waiting for him in the balcony when a drop of water kissed my cheek, yes!! It was drizzling!! :)This was for the first time in Bangalore when I was about to feel the evening rain, that is much talked about.... It was a breezy Friday evening; the sun had just set leaving red splashes all around. I was waiting for him in the balcony when a drop of water kissed my cheek, yes!! It was drizzling!! :)This was for the first time in Bangalore when I was about to feel the evening rain, that is much talked about. It was going to be a perfect romantic evening!!

I went in, decorated the table with new mats and napkins, placed the candles and left for kitchen. I was very excited to offer him such a romantic welcome!!

He could have entered the house any moment, so I was thinking of making something jiffy yet delicious. “He loves halwa but that wouldn’t do as he will ask for tea as well” “I think I can try pohe” “nope that he usually will have for the b’fast” “pakoras will be fine!!!” “but then I want to offer him a small treat, so it must be something special”

I saw packet of bread lying aside on the slab, Viola!! I was there!! I hastily started preparing bread kebabs for him. I poured oil in wok and started collecting ginger, chillies, onions and other ingredients. I was humming and thinking of the two b’ful months of our marriage, It is really really an interesting feeling!! You always want to cook something new for him; you always try to look the best, only his thoughts linger on your mind!!! :crazy

Suddenly I saw a bright yellow light above my head, I was bending down to get a knife, and I looked up to find it was fire in all its might in the small wok!! I took a large kitchen towel in the panic and tried to lift the wok from the stove, as water was too far away. Unfortunately the towel was on fire now…and….and .. I felt heat on my stomach!! Suddenly I dropped the wok and tried to run towards the tap as I was on fire!! Alas!! As I bent to open the tap fire started burning my chin and the heat was unbearable..hence I surrendered to fate…I was still struggling to open the knob when I heard a THUMP.

Here came my savior!! I felt a jet of water on my body when I came back to senses and found that situation was now under control. I saw him and started crying..A few seconds back I was struggling for life but at this moment, the first thing I told him was “ My face have burnt all over” .He gave me a tight hug and then only I realized that I had a narrow escape!!! :bowdown

I had bolted the door while decorating the table. So when he came back from work he heard I was screaming (well, I don’t remember I did that!!) he knocked the door repeatedly, got no response, broke in, lifted the bucked beside me and drenched me with LIFE!! After that I sat under the shower for some time to abate the pain, applied burnol, changed into comfortable clothes, examined reexamined and reexamined my face into mirror and then rushed to the nearest hospital St. Philomena’s.

The burning sensation was increasing more and more with every passing moment. I was crying and repeatedly thanking God for saving my life. They took me to the emergency ward applied some ointments, injected pain killers and reported 15% burns.

He was there with me all the time, his eyes wet, swollen and filled with love and thankfulness. I was shifted to a room, my upper part of the body covered in bandage. My right hand was also completely covered as it was all burnt. For those three days, he dint sleep for a moment. He was looking so shabby as he has not shaved neither brushed his hair!! We both were thankful that I was alive but we dint talk a word about it, once I tried to but he started crying…God is there and miracles do happen!!. :-D ]]> lizykunwar http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/lizykunwar/miracles-do-happen-2594/ <![CDATA["Lovers"]]> http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/ayyan/lovers-2589/ Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:26:32 GMT They were two; they may be lovers or couples. I don’t know. I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t. Why? Because they are only insects, I don’t know there language. I sat there not for watching them, but for waiting my friend. But unexpectedly my attention turned to them may be because of their... They were two; they may be lovers or couples.
I don’t know.
I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t. Why?
Because they are only insects, I don’t know there language.
I sat there not for watching them, but for waiting my friend.

But unexpectedly my attention turned to them may be because of their beauty.
They had small golden wings and yellow dots on it and size was as smaller as a matchstick tip. There acts amused me, I could see they were dancing together, singing together and enjoying there life with out any tension about future. They just reminded me my own honeymoon days and also led me to many thoughts. How god created these small beings and why he has given this shape and beauty to them, they must have a heart and brain?

Hay Ayyan, have you reached already? His loud voice waked me up from thoughts.
He came and sat near to me and lightened a cigarette, before started talking he just looked on ground and saw one of the insect running by hearing the sound of his boots I think. He just crushed it with his heavy boots while talking and laughing with me.
But he didn’t see the other one was running.
I don’t know why he did that and what satisfaction he got by doing that.
That place was not his not mine too. He hasn’t created them and they haven’t done anything against him. What to do? Some people are like this, they don’t even think what they are doing. It is over.

Our talk was also over. He left the place with a big goodbye.
I looked down again. I could see a few pieces of golden wings and the other one walks and runs around that. I couldn’t understand its language but I knew that, it wasn’t dancing and it wasn’t singing. I was able to hear her (or his I don’t know) loud cry.

With lots of love:wave
Ayyan ]]> ayyan http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/ayyan/lovers-2589/ The race that stops a nation http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/knot2share/the-race-that-stops-nation-2586/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:23:48 GMT
The Melbourne Cup is Australia’s most famous horse race and is truly the race that stops a nation. All over Australia people tune in to watch or listen to the race. All work comes to a standstill for those few minutes (race starts at 3pm Australian Eastern Standard time to be exact). It is a public holiday in Melbourne and considered a biggest tourist attraction of Victoria. (Melbourne is the capital of the state of Victoria). It is held on the first Tuesday in November each year since 1861. It was declared a public holiday in Melbourne since 1877. Considered the richest handicap race in the world, attracting over 100,000 or more people to the racecourse at Flemington, Melbourne Cup race is run over 3200 meters. The race is called a handicap race because the horses carry different weights to make the race fair across the board. The better the horse, the more weight it has to carry. It can pay off betting on an outsider horse, as it has an equal chance of winning as the mostly claimed ones.

Racing is a very common affair in Australia and generally takes place in spring and autumn. It takes a back seat when the time comes for Cricket (summer) or Australian Football (winter).

The Spring Racing Carnival in Victoria is a very important event in the Australian Racing Calendar. Excitement, glamour and fashion are integral part of the carnival. There are four main race days:

Victoria Derby Day – held on Saturday before the Melbourne Cup.
Melbourne Cup Day – held on first Tuesday in November.
Crown Oaks Day – held on Thursday following the Melbourne Cup Day and traditionally called Ladies day.
Stakes Day – held on Saturday following Oaks Day and traditionally called Family day.

Fashion on the field is the main news item along with the races. There is a lot of media attention in the air. Women flock the racecourse with elegant and fancy looking hats and dresses. Shorts are not allowed for women (and possibly men), as one lady in her shorts was not allowed entry, this year. The best dressed man and woman are awarded as part of the festivities. So much time and energy are spent on trying to get dressed up for the occasion. All four days of racing are filled with fashion and glamour. Many designers and dressmakers have the opportunity to see their creations exhibited on these days. Apart from being a major occasion for Australian Fashion, the Spring Racing Carnival is also a very busy time for hairdressers and bookmakers. Even those who normally do not bet, try to give it a shot on a small scale. We and our friends too try our luck every year on a small scale. This year of course, for the boys, the expectations were high on the prospects of buying a new LED TV! We just knew that we had picked the right horses when we placed our bets.

Flowers also play an important role on the race days. Each of the four major race days has an official flower.

Victoria Derby Day – Corn Flower
Melbourne Cup Day – Yellow Rose
Crown Oaks Day – Pink Rose
Stakes Day – Red Rose

Melbourne Cup is the highlight of the Spring Carnival and is not just an Australian event, but also an internationally acclaimed event with horses from different countries like New Zealand, Ireland, Dubai, Great Britain, Japan etc participating. International horses participating in the Melbourne Cup are required to undergo stringent quarantine requirements for at least 14 days in approved premises, before they travel to Australia. The Melbourne Cup trophy is a three handled 18 carat gold cup, a handle each representing the horse, jockey and the trainer. This is the cup that every jockey aspires and dreams to win.

There is loads of information available on the net that gives you tips on the best way to approach betting for Melbourne Cup. The newspapers are flooded with information on the horses and tips from celebrities and experts. Many offices and clubs run a Melbourne Cup Sweepstake so that everybody can be involved and might have a big win with a small stake. Some passionate race goers follow the other races as a lead up to Melbourne Cup, to have a better idea on the current form of the horses, although this does not put them in any better prospects for winning the bets.

Quoting Mark Twain’s words after his visit to Melbourne Cup in 1895 –
Nowhere in the world have I encountered a festival of people that has such a magnificent appeal to the whole nation. The Cup astonishes me.

The most famous Australian horse of all was PHAR LAP (a Thai word for sky flash or lightning). PHAR LAP dominated the Australian racing by winning many of the richest races, including the Melbourne Cup in 1930. PHAR LAP was targeted a couple of days before the Melbourne Cup in 1930 by criminals. They shot at him and missed him and he went on to win the Cup. The horse died of a mysterious illness. There is a movie on PHAR LAP. Australia requested for the mortal remains of the horse (the hide), and PHAR LAP now stands majestically in the National Museum of Victoria in Melbourne.

The horse with most number of Melbourne Cup wins is MAKYBE DIVA (pronounced Mc eye bee Diva) which won the Melbourne Cup three times in a row (2003, 2004, and 2005). Lee Freedman was the trainer (has 5 wins to his credit) and Glen Boss was the rider.

One of the winners was a horse by the name ROGAN JOSH, which won the Melbourne Cup in 1999. Bart Cummings was the trainer (has 12 wins to his credit) and John Marshall was the rider.

The winner of the 2009 Emirates Melbourne Cup (the event currently being sponsored by Emirates) is the horse by the name SHOCKING!, ridden by jockey Corey Brown and trained by Mark Kavanagh. SHOCKING was challenged till the end by another horse named CRIME SCENE, followed by MOURILYAN. Yes, we were actually wondering how people came up with such names for horses.

As for our LED TV – well there is always a next time!

[I have sourced this information from various websites like
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melbourne_Cup
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...ne_Cup_winners
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phar_Lap
http://www.cultureandrecreation.gov....s/melbournecup
And few more]
Please google for more information.
]]> knot2share http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/knot2share/the-race-that-stops-nation-2586/ 10 kurals a week http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/sriniketan/10-kurals-a-week-2583/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:11:55 GMT அதிகாரம் 116
ADHIKAARAM 116
CHAPTER 116

கற்பியல்
KARPIYAL

பிரிவாற்றாமை
PIRIVAATTRAAMAI

THE PANGS OF SEPARATION

தலை மகள்
THALAI MAGAL-----SHE

1151. செல்லாமை உண்டேல் எனக்குரை; மற்றுநின்
வல்வரவு வாழ்வார்க்கு உரை.
Sellaamai undael yenakkurai; mattrunin
valvaravu vaazhvaarkku urai.

செல்லவில்லை என்பதை சொல்லுவதானால் என்னிடம் சொல், சீக்கிரம் திரும்பி வருவேன் என்று சொல்வதானால், (நீ வரும் வரை) உயிர் வாழ்பவரிடம் சொல்.
If there is anything about not parting, speak it to me; if it is about your quick return, speak to those who will survive till then.

1152. இன்கண் உடைத்தவர் பார்வல்; பிரிவஞ்சும்
புன்கண் உடைத்தால் புணர்வு.
Inkann udaiththavar paarval; pirivanjum
punkann udaiththaal punarvu.

முன்பு அவரின் பார்வையே இன்பம் அளிப்பதாக இருந்தது...இப்போதோ தழுவதலே துன்பம் தருகிறது. (பிரிவின் காரணத்தால்).
His mere look was once a delight to me, but now even his embrace saddens me for the fear of separation.

1153. அரிதரோ தேற்றம் அறிவுடையார் கண்ணும்
பிரிவோர் இடத்துண்மை யான்.
Aridharo thaettram arivudaiyaar kannum
pirivor idaththunmai yaan.

பிரிவுத் துன்பத்தை அறிந்துள்ள காதலரும், நம்மை பிரிந்து செல்ல நேரிடுவதால், 'பிரியேன்' என்ற உறுதி மொழியை கூறும் பொழுது, யாரிடம்தான் நம்பிக்கை வைப்பது.
It is impossible to put trust in any, seeing that the thought of separation lurks somewhere even in the heart of him.

1154. அளித்தஞ்சல் என்றவர் நீப்பின் தெளித்தசொல்
தேறியார்க்கு உண்டோ தவறு?
Alithanjal yenravar neeppin theliththasol
thaeriyaarkku undo thavaru?

அஞ்ச வேண்டாம் என முன்னே தேற்றியவர், பிரிந்து செல்வாரானால், அவர் சொன்னதை நம்பியது என் குற்றமா?
He who uttered...don't fear...departs, is my trust in him, at default?

1155. ஓம்பின் அமைந்தார் பிரிவோம்பல்; மற்றவர்
நீங்கின் அரிதால் புணர்வு.
Ombin amaindhaar pirivombal; mattravar
neengin aridhaal punarvu.

என் உயிரைக் காக்க விரும்பினால், என் உயிராகிய காதலரை பிரியாமல் இருக்கச் சொல். அப்படி பிரிந்து சென்றால், அவர் திரும்பி வரும்பொழுது நான் உயிரோடு இருப்பேனா என்று தெரியவில்லை.
If you want to save my life, ask the master of that life, not to depart, otherwise, I fear I may not live to greet him on his return.

1156. பிரிவுரைக்கும் வன்கண்ண ராயின் அரிதவர்
நல்குவர் என்னும் நசை.
Pirivuraikkum vankanna raayin aridhavar
nalguvar yennum nasai.

பிரிவைப் பற்றி தெரிவிக்கும் அளவிற்கு கல் நெஞ்சு உடையவர், திரும்பி வந்து அன்பு செலுத்துவார் என ஆசைப் படுவதில் பயன் இல்லை.
When he has the hardness to say to my face...I shall depart..I give up all hope of his renewed love.

1157. துறைவன் துறந்தமை தூற்றாகொல் முன்கை
இறையிறவா நின்ற வளை?
Thuraivan thurandhamai thoottraakol munkai
iraiyiravaa ninra valai?

பிரிவின் துயரால்) மெலிந்த என் கைகளில் இருந்து நழுவும் வளையல்கள், தலைவன் என்னை பிரிந்து சென்ற செய்தியை பறை சாற்றிவிடுமோ?
Will the slipping bracelets from my wrists, broadcast the parting of my beloved?

1158. இன்னாது இனன்இல்ஊர் வாழ்தல்; அதனினும்
இன்னாது இனியார்ப் பிரிவு.
Innadhu inaniloor vaazhdhal; adhaninum
innaadhu iniyaar pirivu.

நம்மிடம் அன்பு இல்லாதவர் ஊரில் வாழ்வது துன்பமானது. அதை விட துன்பமானது இனிய காதலரின் பிரிவு.
Bitter is life, where there are no friends, but more bitter would be the separation from the beloved one.

1159. தொடிற்சுடின் அல்லது காமநோய் போல
விடிற்சுடல் ஆற்றுமோ தீ?
Thodirsudin alladhu kaamanoi pola
vidirsudal aattrumo thee?

நெருப்பு தொட்டால்தான் சுடும், ஆனால் காம நோய் போல், தன்னைவிட்டு நீங்கும் பொழுது சுடாதே..
Does fire has the power to burn when it is far away, as the pang of separation?

1160. அரிதாற்றி அல்லல்நோய் நீக்கிப் பிரிவாற்றிப்
பின்னிருந்து வாழ்வார் பலர்.
Aridhaattri allalnoi neekki pirivaattri
pinnirundhu vaazhvaar palar.

பிரிவு உடன்பட்டு, அதனால் வரும் கலக்கத்தையும் விட்டு, பிரிந்தவர் வரும் வரை பொறுத்திருந்து உயிரோடு இருந்து வாழ்வோர் பலர் உள்ளனர்.(ஆனால் நான்?)
Many there are, who live through pangs of separation and survive till the return of the beloved. (Can I?) ]]> Sriniketan http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/sriniketan/10-kurals-a-week-2583/ Endharo Mahanubhavulu andhiriki vandanamu-Sant Samartha Ramadas http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/pushpavalli-srinivasan/endharo-mahanubhavulu-andhiriki-vandanamu-sant-2584/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:01:21 GMT Samartha Ramadas Samartha Ramadas is one of the great saints of Maharashtra. It is believed that he was reincarnation of Lord Anjaneya. The story goes thus. Once Lord Rama asked Anjaneya whether he would like to come to vaikuntam. Anjaneya said, “What is there in Vaikuntam? I... Samartha Ramadas

Samartha Ramadas is one of the great saints of Maharashtra. It is believed that he was reincarnation of Lord Anjaneya. The story goes thus.

Once Lord Rama asked Anjaneya whether he would like to come to vaikuntam.
Anjaneya said, “What is there in Vaikuntam? I will be glad to stay in this world where you set your feet and sanctified it. I will be always reciting your sweet Name and will be listening to your Divya charitham wherever it is rendered.”

Ramadas whose childhood name was Narayan was born at Jonepur that was known as Jonepuri. His father’s name was Suryaji Pandit and mother’s name was Ranubai. Their family Deity was Sun God and their favourite Deity (Ishta Deivam) was Lord Rama.

Daily they used to chant Adithya Hrudayam and the Surya Bhagavan was very much pleased with them. He appeared in Suryaji’s dream and told him that he would be blessed with two sons. Both of them would be very much devoted to Lord Rama. The elder one would posses the qualities of Sun and the younger would posses the qualities of Hanuman and both of them would propagate bhakthi margam.

Both Suryaji and Ranubai felt very happy. A son was born to Ranubai and he was named Gangadhar. After five years another son was born and they named him as Narayan. As there is a saying in Tamil “ Muthathu mozai elaiyathu kalai”Gangadhar was very responsible and he studied well. He also took up a job and Suryaji and Ranubai looked for a suitable girl for him and got him married.

Narayan also had his education, yet he was very mischievous and used to play around with children. He became the leader to a group of children. They used to go around the village and steal mangoes and go to the river take a dip and swim as long as they liked.

His mother was very much worried about him. Once she called him at her side and said, “ Narayan! Why are you behaving like this? See your brother Ganga. He has taken a job and now we got him married. He is looking after the family. Why can’t you look for a job? You also should shoulder some responsibility.”

Narayan fell in deep thought, but could not think of any job. At least he wanted to make his mother happy by doing something. He went to a farm yard where paddy was stored in sacks. He lifted one sack on his back and brought it home. He called out to his mother and said, “Amma! Come here and see what I brought!”

Ranubai came out and was surprised to see the sack with paddy. She asked,
“Who gave this? Where from you brought this?”

By this time a farmer came running and he said, “This boy has lifted this paddy from my field. It is so heavy to lift, but I wonder how he was able to lift and carry it.”

Then Narayan said if it belonged to him he could very well take it back. With much difficulty and with the help of another man the farmer carried it to his cart. But to the surprise of everybody there was another sack of paddy in its place. The farmer got perplexed and believed that Narayan got some super power. He told all the people of the village about this miracle.

After this incident Narayan became very quiet. He started going to one Hanuman temple in the village and started meditating. He also chose to go to secluded places and meditate there.

This made his parents worried. Then they thought that if they got him married he would get settled in life. One day his mother called him and tried to convince him for marriage. In the beginning he did not agree. He told that he did not want to get entangled in samsara bhandam. His mother pleaded with him telling that she was getting old and wanted to see him as a bridegroom. She told that a wife only would take care of a man after the departure of mother. Narayan half heartedly agreed to marry.

Ranubai’s brother was willing to give his girl in marriage to his nephew. So the marriage was fixed and all the relatives and friends had come to attend the marriage. All the rituals were conducted for the marriage. The bride and groom were just standing before each other and a thick veil was separating them and the priest was chanting manthras for mangalya dharanam. As for the custom he chanted the manthra “ sulagne sawadhan “ holding mangal suthra in his hand.

When Narayan heard his he just got startled thinking that it was a warning for him and that he should run away before he got stuck up in the samsara sagaram. Without looking back he took off from the place and kept on walking where ever his legs could carry him. After walking for a long distance he entered a forest.

In the mean while when the curtain was removed people were surprised that they could not see the groom there.
All started asking, “Where is Narayan?”
Some one said that he went to change the dress. All were running here and there calling out his name and he was found to be no where. Narayan’s father sent men to search for him.

Then some elders started telling that Narayan always liked solitude and used to contemplate. No wonder he did not want to get entangled in samsara bhandam. Any way it was good that he ran away before tying the mangal suthra to the girl.

The girl’s parents though were very much disappointed, had some consolation that he left before marriage than deserting her afterwards.

To be continued

]]> Pushpavalli Srinivasan http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/pushpavalli-srinivasan/endharo-mahanubhavulu-andhiriki-vandanamu-sant-2584/ <![CDATA["Story of a rose"]]> http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/ayyan/story-of-a-rose-2576/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 05:26:07 GMT "Story of a rose"

Now I have a rose garden in my house, but I told my family that our garden is not only for us but also for all the children around, if any of them comes for flowers, let them take as much as they want, and don’t close the gate against them. I love to see the blooming of joy and happiness in their faces. That is more beautiful than the beauty of the blooming of a rose.

When I was a child, I wanted a rose flower, not a bouquet of flowers, only a single rose flower. But I didn’t get it. You may think, what is in that? That’s only a flower, but it affected my little heart deeply and still not a faded memory.

This happened in my childhood when I was a twelve year old boy, but I can still remember that.
We were living in a small rented house in a small city and there was no place for making a courtyard or making a garden in our house. But still my young sister was very fond of flowers, when she was at the age of three or four.
So where ever I see a flower I used to remember her and bring one for her to see the brightness and joy on her face when she see that.
But she was always asking me about a “rose” flower and telling that she heard about rose flower from somebody and thinking that rose is the most beautiful flower in the world. And she was asking me everyday to bring a rose flower, if it is possible.
But actually in our area at those days, it was very difficult and rare to get a rose flower. I have seen one or two in the near by houses, but I know they are not going to give me if I ask also.
But still I was searching for that.
After hearing her request everyday, I promised her that “I will some how bring it on your next birthday as a birthday gift. Until then you keep quiet and don’t ask me again, okay.”
She agreed that and then never asked again. And I was looking beside all the roads everyday to find out a single rose, but I could not get it. Her birthday was nearing; I had to find it out some how. So one holiday I took my bicycle and went out to our city. After roaming many places I found it in one place.
That wasn’t a house, but a very big bungalow, resembles a palace made of white marbles.
All the sides where covered by tall fences and a big locked gate also.
I looked inside through the holes on the gate and amazed by seeing a heaven of roses. Not only one or two but so many, in the parking shed, all over the courtyard, on the fence every where roses……… a million of roses. I have seen that many roses there only in my life. But how to get it, I waited there patiently and after some time I saw a very old woman was walking in the long courtyard, she may be a servant or somebody, I don’t know. I called her and asked…

“Mom, could you please give a rose flower to me?”
She looked me and asked.
“Who are you boy? Why do you want to pick a rose flower?”
“It is not for me mom, it is for my young sister, day after tomorrow is her birthday, she likes roses very much. So I want to give her it as a gift” I said in a single breath.
She laughed and said. “It is so nice boy, what is in that, you can come day after tomorrow and take as much as you want”
I become happy, finally the search is over and I can definitely give it to her on her birthday.
I returned back to home with a peaceful mind.
…………….

Day after tomorrow…
Our little queen’s birthday has come. Early morning she came to me and asked, “where is my rose, did you forget it, I haven’t asked all these days but I was waiting for today.
Where is it, show me now?”

Poor girl, she was dreaming this only all last night?

I told her. “Who forgot it, I never forgot it and I am going to bring it in a short time, okay”

I promised her again and started with my bicycle.
Before reaching there I saw that old woman was standing near the gate.
By seeing me she invited me inside and told me to pick as many flowers I want.
I told her “I don’t want many, but a single rose only for my sister”
I looked all the heaven of roses at a glance and selected a single beautiful rose and picked it carefully without damaging. That was more than enough for me.
I become very happy and I expressed all my thanks to that kind woman and returned to gate.

Suddenly the door was opened and a fat lady came out.
She saw me standing with a rose holding in my hand.
She become angry and shouted to that old woman.
“Who is this dirty boy picking all our flowers?”
The old woman frightened and said “I told him to pick, he asked only one for her sister”
She shouted again “what?, you don’t have brain, this is not for giving to these dirty boys’
She came out dragged my hands and pull out the flower.
Then what she did was something I never expected. She put that beautiful rose on the floor and then crushed it with her lugs and pushed me outside the gate and locked.
………………

I stood there for few minutes in that shock…
Then become so sad…
Now what to tell my sister, I know today she is expecting only for this, more than anything.
How can I go without this?
How can I find another in this short time?
No, I can’t go back without a rose, I will not go back without a rose.
………………

At that time I saw a small beautiful yellow flower outside the gate under there big fence. She was looking to my face and calling me.
I went near to that, I felt like she was dancing with the wind to make me happy.
I heard she was telling me “Don’t cry, you are not a dirty boy, I am here for you.”
I picked her very carefully without harming her beautiful leaves and went back to home.
I saw my sister was sitting in front of the house by looking me on the road.
I gave that yellow flower to her and told, “See my cute girl, this is your rose, you have never seen it before no? See how beautiful it is?”
I become a bad boy.
I lied to her on her birthday.

What else I can do?
Some times we are forced to say innocent lies for good reasons, no?

But her face became bright like a full moon and I become happy again by seeing that blooming of joy on her face. She hugged me and gave a smooth kiss on my face.
I felt that unknown yellow flower is more beautiful than all those roses I have seen in that house.
No, that is the most beautiful flower ever I have seen in the whole world.

With lots of love,:wave
Ayyan. ]]> ayyan http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/ayyan/story-of-a-rose-2576/ MARITAL CONFLICT: How to Avoid Divorce http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/navaljee/marital-conflict-how-avoid-divorce-2575/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 05:13:04 GMT A set of unfortunate circumstances leads a couple to the situation where they do not find any alternative of the word ‘Divorce’. Image: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Tough_decission.jpg Tough Decision (Image Courtesy Wikimedia Commons...

A set of unfortunate circumstances leads a couple to the situation where they do not find any alternative of the word ‘Divorce’.

Tough Decision (Image Courtesy Wikimedia Commons)

Imagine this. You are to get a promotion in your job. Your elder daughter has just started going to school. Due to your precise financial planning, your husband’s housing loan is soon to be paid in full. And there changes the situation. Due to your intense involvement in your job and home issues, you could not know that your husband is having an affair. After considering all the alternatives you have to come to one word conclusion: Divorce. Divorce is nobody’s choice per se. It is child of no one’s desire; nor it is a gadget that one would plan going to a mall and like to own. It happens as a compulsion only. It is like you were driving in rough weather anyhow, but at one point you arrive at a dead end.

There is hardly an aspect your life where the incident of divorce does not affect badly. It has implications on your children, finances, routine life, psychology, and even your behaviour. For a time you would feel caught in corridor where there is no way to go out.

But if you sit peacefully and think, there can be some positive way out of this mess. Because once you are divorced then there are less chances for reunion. So it would be better to think about the conciliation and talk with your spouse freely and frankly. The start of a relationship de novo can not be ruled out at any point of time.

Ultimately finding no reason to live together, if you have to walk on the thorny path of an unstoppable divorce, you should know about the things you are to go through in near future. Here are some of the factors that could be very disappointing to know, but you should know it.

For reading other similar articles you can see at the link shown in "INTERESTING LINKS" at the left sidebar on my blog page.

]]> Navaljee http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/navaljee/marital-conflict-how-avoid-divorce-2575/ Empowering Women to live Fearlessly - Part I http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/coolbird/empowering-women-live-fearlessly-part-2572/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:14:23 GMT Fear, lack of self-confidence, others expectations from us or a long list of excuses stop us from doing - being - or - having what we really want? These are very common women’s issues that hold many women back from having the life they want. As women we lose ourselves in our work, chores,... Fear, lack of self-confidence, others expectations from us or a long list of excuses stop us from doing - being - or - having what we really want? These are very common women’s issues that hold many women back from having the life they want.

As women we lose ourselves in our work, chores, fulfilling needs of children, spouse, in-laws and our list goes on…… When was the last time you sat in total silence and did nothing but allowed your mind to wander where it would? You may have sat and thought with a purpose about how to solve a specific issue at work, or maybe you sat with your Ipod on and relaxed. But when did you just do nothing at all and let your mind guide your thoughts to just “wherever”?

We tend to be busy people. We have a lot on the “to do” list, on any given day. That being said, carving time for silent time or personal reflection can be hard ‘to do’. What if it didn’t require 30 minutes or an hour? What if just 10 minutes a day could change your life? Hard to believe? Well I can assure you that this is possible!

Life is too short to let it slip away. Waiting for that "Someday" is not a goal, it is a fantasy that will never materialize.

The key to making the most of your ten minutes is to be silent and not think at all. This can be easier said than done, so it may take some practice. This is okay and very normal. You might want to set your watch or a kitchen timer to alert you to the end of your ten minutes. Relax and let your mind go where it will. Truly pay attention to your thoughts, your mental questions, and your mental answers as well. If you do this daily for 2 weeks, I believe you will begin to experience more clarity, confidence, and less anxiety.

I would like to invite you to take what this Ten Minute Challenge! Ten silent and unstructured minutes per day for 2 weeks. If you accept this challenge, I invite you to comment back on how it helped you or affected your life. ]]> coolbird http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/coolbird/empowering-women-live-fearlessly-part-2572/ 10 kurals a week http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/sriniketan/10-kurals-a-week-2568/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:40:54 GMT அதிகாரம் 115
ADHIKAARAM 115
CHAPTER 115

அலர் அறிவுறுத்தல்
ALAR ARIVURUTHTHAL

THE PUBLIC RUMOUR

தலைமகன்
THALAIMAGAN - HE

1141. அலர்எழ ஆருயிர் நிற்கும்; அதனைப்
பலர்அறியார் பாக்கியத் தால்.
Alaryezha aaruyir nirkkum; adhanai palarariyaar bhagiyath thaal.

எம் காதலைப் பற்றி வதந்தி எழுப்புவது, போன உயிர் திரும்பி வந்தது போல் உள்ளது. ஏனெனில் அதுவே எங்கள் காதல் கைகூட வைக்கும், என்பதை இந்த ஊரை அறியவில்லை.
Rumour, is our good luck, as it sustains our existence, which is not known by the public.

1142. மலர்அன்ன கண்ணால் அருமை அறியாது
அலர்எமக்கு ஈந்ததிவ் வூர்.
Malaranna kannaal arumai ariyaadhu
alaremakku eendhadhiv voor.

மலர் போன்ற கண்ணகளை உடைய இவளின் மாண்பினை உணராத இவ்வூரார், வதந்தி கிளப்பி எங்களுக்கு மறைமுகமாக உதவி செய்தனர்.
These folks know not the virtues of this flower-eyed angel, for they have given her cheaply to me, by raising this rumour.

1143. உறாஅதோ ஊரறிந்த கௌவை? அதனைப்
பெறாஅது பெற்றன்ன நீர்த்து.
Uraa adho oorarindha kauvai? adhanai
peraa adhu pettranna neerththu.

வதந்தியே எனக்கு பொக்கிஷம் அல்லவா? ஏனெனில் அது அல்லவோ அவள் எனக்கே இப்போதே கிடைத்தது மாதிரி உள்ளது.
Is it not the gossip a precious one to me? For even without obtaining her, I feel as if I possess her already.

1144. கவ்வையால் கவ்விது காமம்; அதுவின்றேல்
தவ்வென்னும் தன்மை இழந்து.
Kavvaiyaal kavvidhu kaamam; adhuvinrel
thavvennum thanmai izhandhu.

ஊரார் தூற்றுவதால் எங்கள் காதல் வளர்கிறது. இல்லையேல் இந்த காதல் வளமிழந்து வாடிப் போய் விடும்.
Rumour inflames the love I seek, otherwise it would have been a stale affair.

1145. களித்தொறும் கள்ளுண்டல் வேட்டற்றால் காமம்
வெளிப்படுந் தோறும் இனிது.
Kalththorum kallundal vettattraal kaamam
velipadun dhorum inidhu.

கள்ளுண்டவர் கள்ளுண்டு மயங்க மயங்க அக்கள்ளையே விரும்புவதைப் போல, காதல், வதந்தியால் வெளிப்பட வெளிப்பட, இனியதாகிறது.
As every cup that is drunk, makes the drunkard thirst for more so does the rumour about our love, increases the sweetness for the lover.

தலை மகள்--SHE

1146. கண்டது மன்னும் ஒருநாள்; அலர்மன்னும்
திங்களைப் பாம்புகொண் டற்று.
Kandadhu mannum orunaal; alarmannum
thingalai paambukon dattru.

காதலரைக் கண்டது ஒரு நாள் தான். அதனால் உண்டாகிய வதந்தியோ, சந்திரனை பாம்பு விழுங்கிய செய்திபோல் ஊர் முழுதும் பரவி விட்டது.
Our meeting was but for one day; but the outcry that has arisen over it, is as lasting rumours eclipsed our moon.

1147. ஊரவர் கௌவை எருவாக அன்னைச்சொல்
நீராக நீளுமிந் நோய்.
Ooravar kauvai eruvaaga annaisol
neeraga neelumin noi.

ஊராரின் பழிச் சொற்கள் எருவாகவும், அன்னையின் சுடு சொற்கள் நீராகவும் கொண்டு இந்த காதல் வளர்கிறது.
The public talk is like the manure, and the reproach of mother is the water, which makes this love grow.

1148. நெய்யால் எரிநுதுப்பேம் என்றற்றால் கௌவையால்
காமம் நுதுப்பேம் எனல்.
Neiyaal yerinudhuppaem enrattraal kauvaiyaal
kaamam nudhuppaem yenal.

வதந்தியால் காதலை அழிப்போம் என்பது, எரிகிற நெருப்பை நெய்யால் அணைப்பது போல் ஆகும்.
To think of killing my passion by raising rumour, is like wanting to put off the fire by pouring ghee.

1149. அலர்நாண ஒல்வதோ அஞ்சல்ஓம்பு என்றார்
பலர்நாண நீத்தக் கடை.
Alarnaana olvadho anjaloombu enraar
palarnaana neeththa kadai.

அஞ்ச வேண்டாம் என்று அன்று கூறியவர், இன்று, பலரும் நாணும்படியாக பிரிந்து சென்றபின், வதந்திக்காக நான் நாணப் படமுடியுமா, முடியாதே..
Is it for me to blush at this outcry now, when he who said 'Fear not" has abandoned me to the scandal of every by-stander?

1150. தாம்வேண்டின் நல்குவர் காதலர்; யாம்வேண்டும்
கௌவை எடுக்குமிவ் வூர்.
Thaamvendin nalguvar kaadhalar; yaamvendum
kauvai yedukkumiv voor.

நான் விரும்பும் இந்த வந்ததியை ஊரார் எடுத்துக் கூறுகின்றனர். காதலரும் விரும்பினால் இதனை மறுக்காமல் ஏற்றுக் கொள்வார்.
This outcry which in my heart I so much desire, verily my beloved will not refuse it, if I should beg it of him. ]]> Sriniketan http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/sriniketan/10-kurals-a-week-2568/ How to Rescue Marriage from Financial Blunders http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/navaljee/how-rescue-marriage-financial-blunders-2570/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:34:05 GMT It is not a secret that the financial issues become main reason for the couples to take divorce. Otherwise such a couple might be good for each other to live together forever. If it happens only due to the mismanagement of the home finances, it can be termed as blunder of one’s life. If some care... It is not a secret that the financial issues become main reason for the couples to take divorce. Otherwise such a couple might be good for each other to live together forever. If it happens only due to the mismanagement of the home finances, it can be termed as blunder of one’s life. If some care were taken in advance, such blunders can be avoided. Let us see where we make mistake so far as the money matters involving a couple is concerned.

Communication Gap

Once got married and started indulging in their jobs, a couple hardly care about communicating about their problems to each other. There can be no bigger mistake than this one. Let us put it in this way: telling about everything happened in a day, in nutshell, is the key for a successful married life; and failing which would be a key reason for separation.

Blame Game

It is not uncommon for a family or a couple to be caught in a financial mess. If that is considered as a common difficulty, then it can have a workable solution. Instead if any one, a man or a woman, starts pointing fingers to another for being a cause of the difficulty would be carrying a dangerous luggage.

Blame game would not help anyone. The solution would be to go for short vacation, sit on a beautiful place and then think over the real issue and try to work out a possible solution to come out of the financial mess. Discuss and be happy: that is the golden rule of happiness. For further reading of similar articles you can visit the Interesting Links given in the sidebar on the left side. ]]> Navaljee http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/navaljee/how-rescue-marriage-financial-blunders-2570/ Endharo mahanubhavulu andhiriki vandanamu- Sri Gora Kumbhar http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/pushpavalli-srinivasan/endharo-mahanubhavulu-andhiriki-vandanamu-sri-2569/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:03:15 GMT Sri Gora Kumbhar Gora Kumbhar was a potter by profession. In Hindi language a person who makes pottery is known as kumhar. Gora was born in a kumhar family at a village called Terdhoki alias Sathyapuri near Pandarpur in Maharashtra. His father Annaiya was a devotee of Panduranga. His mother...

Sri Gora Kumbhar

Gora Kumbhar was a potter by profession. In Hindi language a person who makes pottery is known as kumhar. Gora was born in a kumhar family at a village called Terdhoki alias Sathyapuri near Pandarpur in Maharashtra. His father Annaiya was a devotee of Panduranga. His mother Rukma Bai was a pious lady and they both lead a simple harmonious life. They were blessed with two sons. The elder one was named Gora and the younger one Erranna.
Both the children had basic education and then were trained in the family craft of pot making. They both were staunch devotees of Panduranga.

Gora’s parents chose a girl from their caste and got him married. The girl’s name was Thulsibai. After some years both Annaiya and Rukma Bai died one after the other. Erranna was staying with his elder brother and they both were continuing their occupation.

One day Erranna was readying the pots to be burned in the kiln. In one of the pots kitten were sleeping and without noticing it Erranna lit the fire. The kittens got burnt in the kiln in side the pot and Erranna felt very sad. He felt that he had committed a grave sin. He wanted to do prayachitham and consulted the Brahmins. They told him to go to Benares and take bath in the river Ganges. So he left for Benares.

Here Gora’s wife was pregnant and she delivered a boy. Gora being a Panduranga devotee was leading a detached life like the drops of water on lotus leaf. He always controlled his emotion and was not showing joy at the birth of his son. He was leading a life of karmayogi , but was always his mouth would be chanting Panduranga’s name.

The child who was named Hari was growing up and started crawling. One day Padmavathi while going to fetch water left the child in the courtyard where Gora used to pound the mud in a pit with his feet to make it soft.

Thulsi told Gora to keep an eye on the child. Gora was not at all in this world and he was immersed in his work and chanting the Lord’s name. The child had come crawling to the place where Gora was immersed in his work. Without noticing the child Gora kept on stamping and pounding the mud with his feet and the child was crushed.

Thulsi came back and was looking out for Hari. As she could not find him she asked Gora where was Hari. Gora who was in a trance of chanting Hari’s name replied, “ Hari is every where.”

Thulsi got angry and said, “I am not asking about your Lord Hari. I am searching for our child Hari. I told you to keep an eye on him when I went to fetch water.”

Gora said, “He was here only playing.” Then he started looking around for him. He saw the child’s tiny foot jutting out in the pit. He lifted the child and realized that the child was dead.

Thulsi started shrieking when she saw her beloved child dead. Gora realized the gravity of the situation, but already the irreparable damage was done.

Thulsi started abusing and blaming Gora for his callousness. She said, “What have you done? I told you to take care of the child for a while and you were chanting the Panduranga nama like a mad man without caring for the child? Is this called true devotion? Who care’s for this kind of Bhakthi? I do not pay a hoot for you are your Panduranga.”

Gora was offended when his wife spoke against HIS beloved Panduranga. He got wild and taking a stick which he used to rotate the wheel while making the pot, came near her wielding it and shouted, “How dare you talk like this? It is your fault only to leave the child here when I was working. Panduranga gave him to us and now he has taken him back.”

Thulsi also could not control her anger. She flared up and said, “I swear on your beloved name of Panduranga! Do not come near me. Here after you are not to touch me.”

The raised hand of Gora just stopped above and he just froze for a minute. But he realized that his wife’s anger was justifiable and cursed himself for his behaviour.

Then onwards Gora and Thulsi had no relationship as husband and wife. Gora abstained from eating the food cooked by Thulsi and started cooking his own food.

After some time Thulsi could not bear this aloofness. She wanted to find a solution for this. She went to her father’s house and consulted him. She very well knew that Gora would not have any relationship with her. She told her father that she did not want Gora’s family to become heirless. She told her father to get her younger sister Santhabai to get married to Gora. Thulsi’s father was agreeable to her suggestion, but felt that Gora would not agree to this if he spoke to him directly. So he put up this matter to a group of Panduranga devotees and told them to convince Gora. At first Gora did not agree to this and said that he did not want to get entangled in family life again. But they told him that Thulsi was feeling guilty for going the family heirless because of her vow and that she wanted to make amends. If he did not agree she would be feeling guilty till she died.

Gora felt that he was the one who was responsible for all that had happened. Hence he agreed to marry Santhabai . After the marriage Thulsi’s father told Gora that he should treat both his daughters equally without any discrimination. These words were always echoing in Gora’s ears. Hence he was keeping aloof with both of them. Thulsi’s sister put the blame on her sister and told her that because of her vow only Gora was behaving like this nd she should have mentioned this to her father before her marriage.

Then Thulsi told her sister that they both should device a plan to attract Gora. One night they both slept on both sides of him. Suddenly they both took hold of his hands. Gora woke up and shouted,” What have you both done? Thulsi! You broke the vow made in the name of Panduranga. How dare are you to do like this?” So saying he went and cut both his hands.

Just then Erranna entered the house. He put bandage to his brother’s hands. He was feeling sad for all that had happened. He now supported his brother’s family by making potteries.

The bramothsavam had started at Pandaripuram. Namadeva who was also a staunch devotee of Panduranga and who was blessed with the Lord’s unlimited love observed that only Lord Panduranga’s Idol was there in the temple, but the Lord’s omnipresence nowhere to be seen. Through his (njaana dhrushti) fore vision he came to know that the Lord was present at Gora’s house as Erranna and was making potteries.

He then started praying to Panduranga. “Oh Lord! Is it good on your part to leave your abode and go and slog yourself for a single devotee when so many of your devotees are waiting here to have your bountiful blessings? Please return to your abode and bless your devotees.”

Lord Panduranga in the guise of Erranna told Gora that they all would go to Pandaripuram to witness the Bramothsavam. So Gora and his two wives reached Pandaripuram with Erranna. Then Erranna told them to sit in the pandal and listen to Namadeva’s bajan and join in singing with him. He went in side the sanctum sanctorum and disappeared.

Gora was immersed in singing of bajans and he saw people clapping their hands to the tune of the songs. Forgetting that his hands were cut he also started clapping heads. And lo! What a surprise! His palms had grown as before and he could clap his hands also along with the devotees. His two wives who were sitting at both sides were wonderstruck to see this.

Namadeva who was watching all this was also happy and then he told the people how Lord Panduranga helped Gora in the form of Erranna. He told that the Lord would never let down His true devotees though he put them under severe test. Hearing these words from Namadeva Thulsi went and prostrated at his feet and said, “Swami! I feel that because of you only my husband got his hands back. Why can’t you get me back my child?”

Namadeva replied in soft and kind tone.
“My child! If you pray to Lord Panduranga whole heartedly with true devotion, the Lord will definitely fulfill your wish.”

Thulsi felt relieved to hear this. She then started praying in a choked voice,“Oh Lord Panduranga! If I have offended you in any manner when you were at our house as Erranna, please forgive me. I am an ignorant woman who did not realize the true bhakthi which my pathidev had showed towards you. In my grief after losing my child I had admonished him and you also. Kindly forgive this unlucky grief stricken woman. Are you not the ocean of mercy? I beseech you to forgive my sins and give me back my child.”

Lord Panduranga could not see His devotee suffer any longer. There was a smile on His beautiful face. His bountiful mercy flowed out towards Gora and his wife. The dead child came out crawling from the sanctum sanctorum towards its mother with a smiling face, cooing its childish blabber. Padmavathi and the crowd could not believe their eyes. All made a hahakar (pleasant sound expressing surprise) and praised Lord Panduranga. Thulsi took the child and hugged it and washed its face with tears of joy.

Namadev called Gora near him and advised him that without neglecting his wives and child, he could lead a serene life and be a devotee of the Lord. He told Gora and all the devotees that they all could follow bhakthi margam surrendering at the lotus feet of the Lord.

Jai Jai Vittala! Jai Hari Vittala! Jai Panduranga Vittala! ]]> Pushpavalli Srinivasan http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/pushpavalli-srinivasan/endharo-mahanubhavulu-andhiriki-vandanamu-sri-2569/ Realizations http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/sumanr/realizations-2567/ Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:40:55 GMT All of us are born with some interests or so it is said. These may be things that are in us or that are imbibed by us from our surroundings. These may be things we are good at or things we just like or things we would die for. Whatever these are, we see that as we grow, few of us are in touch... All of us are born with some interests or so it is said.
These may be things that are in us or that are imbibed by us from our surroundings.
These may be things we are good at or things we just like or things we would die for.
Whatever these are, we see that as we grow, few of us are in touch with what we really love to do. We just get drifted off into the 'mass-movement' with a promise to come back to our interest at a later point and start the eternal journey of worrying about marks, grades, professional courses, IT, Project lead, Project manager, band change;), money, home-loans … I did say eternal.

In the midst of this struggle to get certified (?) in this society as 'settled', we have flashes of realizations on what we have lost or forgotten to do. These can be simple things like watching the sun set; walking in the beaches of a gifted place like Chennai; listening to music (sometime we are satisfied with the radio-mirchi we hear with intermittent honks traveling back home); painting a scenery (may be a house & coconut tree that you did as a child); Reciting you favourite poem; being in solitude when the spy in your pocket cannot trace you (mobile switched-off); letters to a long-lost friend; time with family; Not to forget, time to keep you fit, think of other people & God; ....the list is long.

(And if you did all of the above always, you will either be thrown out of our society or will get a good number of followers!!)

We quickly ward off these realizations as either 'part of the game - lose something to get something else' or worse, get so much used to the loss that we do not even want to think. For those who have savoured the sweetness of doing what they enjoy, there is a constant battle to balance – they sometimes win, sometimes lose. Society is for the Self, but strangely at times, they are at conflict and we do not know to choose between what we want and what we are supposed to represent.

How many of us want to pursue some passions and how long are we going to keep giving excuses and pretend to ignore our realizations? ]]> sumanr http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/sumanr/realizations-2567/