PDA .. Do You Approve?

I guess very soon we would either have to stop going out altogether or begin accepting these things as a way of life.

Devika, I feel the latter will turn out true. With so much exposure to kids and teenagers, whose minds are Prurient, if not in public, they will watch it in TV or internet or magazines.
Ideally once sex education is given in schools, they can accept it is a law of nature. Here people express themselves more freely. They don't do it, so that others watch.

I am with you when you say, there must be limits, but when in Rome, be a roman. So if we choose to display affection in public in western countries, nobody is going to watch us. It's so common here. In India, it's not culturally acceptable. Why do we want to attract glances in a wrong manner ?

I would suggest you expand "PDA" in your title as Public Display...I first mistook the post as something about Personal Digital Assistant.

You brought to light a good point. In India, keeping a lid on such things is better, otherwise it ll get westernized not only in this aspect, but it will open doors for the kids to do other wrong things too, in the name of being free.

Hi Devika,
By PDA, i though you were talking about personal digital assistant!!

Living here in the US, i am forced to watch numerous counts of PDAs, and that too by kids as young as 13 and 14!! gosh, i just feel like stopping and giving them a good slap!. Its come to a stage where i am seriously considering putting those visors that are used on horses ( remember to keep them looking straight all the time) , on my kids when i take them to the mall. Even family outings to places like Disney land and stuff are spoilt by these PDAers.

Hi Meenloch,

PDA is a very common term here in the media..
Well youre right I guess when your in 'Rome do as Romans but i India I guess we can do with a little more conservative approach. There has to be some kinda limitations else we cant blame the kids for picking up the wrong stuff.
Watching on celluloid or papers is a diff thing but to be a spectator while couples act like theres no tomorrow is very gross!

Love,
Devika

Hi Vandhana,

Yes Westerisation is fast catching up here too and it scares the hell out of me. If you read the agony aunt sections these days you'll find kids of 12 claiming to be in a physical relation over the past 2 years. I cant help boiling in rage.You mean kids as young as 10 yrs involved ??One of my close friends proudly claimed one day that her son 13 is seriously involved with a girl and while I almost choked on what she said ,out of the bedroom emerged this puppy couple who had been in seeing some snaps inside ,thats what I was told. Though I tried to drill some sense ,my friend said,Nowadays things are different!
Yes the saddest part is the PDAers do not leave these kids areas ,infact you'll find them more there in every nook and corner. Like you Vandhana I too am tempted to give them a piece of my mind .
Love,
Devika

Hey Devika

Even I thought PDA to be Digital assistant, when I came to read this post. For the PDA in your post, I think I have a neutral stand now. I had seen it enough in Mumbai and Delhi , Let alone mentioning any other country than India. It doesnot even sensitize my mental nerve anymore.

For kids I think they develop immunity much faster than we adults do. I have had cousins of 10 years old tell me to ignore some particular park or street in Delhi because it was full of such displayers. And that was some 10 years back. I asked that young cousin, how do you feel when you see all that. He said.. What do you feel. Its all rubbish , some idiot kids have nothing else to than wasting time with each other. I was releived to know his reaction.

Ria

Dear Ria,

Yes kids nowadays are aging doubly faster. And that sometimes is again a cuse for worry. During my times dating was something which happened post 18 and now you have these teeny weeny kids talking so openly about dating. But then I guess they are very inspired by the world around them and theres no safe zone for them now.You find it every where, everywhere!!
Love,
Devika

Dear Devika
An apt topic...........
i agree with you there should be some limits, just wonder these people cannot hold themself until they r all alone???
I have visited so many countires and gone to so many parties but havn't seen people behaving that way in public not only Indian parties, foreigners too. But when in public all behave so well. I have a friend in pune she was saying the same thing that you have written she had gone to one of her neighbours 5 yr old kids party. The couple was behaving as if newly married couple meeting for the 1st time. rubbing each other and what not, people who came for the party were feeling shy to look at them, it was so disgusting, she was saying, aarey we know even after so many yrs of marriage there is still so much of love between you, why show it that way in public. What to say about this???
I think teens learn from such people

I am also guilty of this PDA.. what to do.. my husband and I hold hands together .. sometime..even in tha mall.. can u believe it. yesterday a friend had come over and was telling me about a after school program where the kids stay back after school till parents picked them up.. according to her son who goes to this program almost every act goes on itseems.. keep blogin:)

Dear Aruna,

Thanks a lot for writing in.
ITs really sad to see grown ups getting all mushy during the kids party. All talks about maturity flies out of the window and they behave like some teeny weeny love lorn couples. Youre quite right . Cant they wait till they get to some privacy??
Ofcourse kids learn from them. And this they claim is the influence of the western culture, but why are we so selective about the western culture. They are so many good points we could borrow from them ,but then that an effort and this is effortless!!

Love,
Devika

Dear Anandchithra,

Please do not be guilty of holding hands.Infact when you mention it I find you so sweet!!
Holding hands is a different thing Anandchithra, What we are disapproving here is the full fledged A grade movie that we are subjected to!
Now the school activities is surely a thing of concern!

Love,
Devika
P.S PLease continue to hold hands. Long Live the romance :))

Hi Devika,
PDA is very much admirable when we see parents doing it with their little kids.....and it's so adorable...but thnigs what u have mentioned here is really bizzarre to some extent.
Here in western countries, these things are so common, yeah, like Ria, my nerves doesn't get any impulse, and even I don't mind anything in the public here......But sometimes I became curious that when these people are so much affectionate even in the public, then why the separation/failure of marriage is another most common thing visible here.......
Coming to myself, yeah, I have to hold my hubby's hand or he has to hold mine in the public (don't think that it has anything to do with PDA), otherwise I will hit with some or the other person on the street.....I'm really a bad walker......so, whenever I have to walk around/especially in crowded places, I used to hold somebody's hand........before marriage, it was my younger brother......(he used to get irritated most of the time) and now hubby......
And let me tell you one incident.....when I first came to USA, I was travelling alone and hubby has to come to the airport to pick me up. Somehow, I missed one of my connecting flight and board the next one after 3 hours from Vienna to DC (and I couldn't know about this delay, so I didn't informed hubby abt that). And hubby dear, who was in DC airport has nothing else to do but to wait for me in full of fear.......After I landed here....got all my security check up and then came out of the airport.....and my DH was so over-whelmed, he just hold me tight and kissed me in the airport.....and I was like....felt so uncomfortable and pushed him a little back and released myself ......he still use to tease me whenever I asked him for my goodbye kiss in the morning......(inside my home).........sorry to bore u with long FBs.
Regards.

Hey Meeta,
I am blessed today since you have given me the treat of a long FB.
Now theres nothing wrong with holdong hands of your hubby, what is irritating is the lovebirds taking every nook and corner of the world as Lovers paradise and oblivious to the world around.
I can just about understand your hubby kissing you at the airport, since you are a quite the babes in the woods kind who tends to get lost , he must have been worried sick till you arrived and I can actually feel the huge sigh of relief on seeing you.
Well the teasing part is quite cute. You too seem to be very romantic couple. God bless!

Love,
Devika
P.S Meeta keep enthralling us with such long FB's

PDA is becoming quite common nowadays even in India...overdoing it beyond a point really makes the onlookers uncomfortable.....it would be much better if indians refrain from adopting these unnecessary excesses from western culture...even i have been in awkward situations both here and in india when ppl indulge in PDA....esp in the middle of busy malls,etc...
as you say Devika,the least these ppl can do is refrain from it in front of elders and young children....

Dear Sowparnika,

Oh yes Sowpar , tell me these mall stories.. These malls are full of Lovers nook, its so irritating because they become a spectacle for these kids , who are quite amused . In fact some years back there was a rule that such kind of cootchie cooey behaviour was banned from colleges. I guess they should implement something on the same lines , atleast in those places frequented by kids and elders like parks, malls etc.
Some of them can be quite pervertish and it really has a bad impact on young minds. Yes and they put it all down to their selective adoption of western culture!

Love,
Devika

Dear Devika,

I really disapprove of these PDAs going beyond the limit. That too the 12's and 13's teenagers showing their interest in public..just can't accept the same and not to mention the young lovers. we just cannot take our kids to te parks here (Lalbagh & Cubbon Park). I feel so ashamed when they ask , "what are they doing? mummy". As my dh and myself just hold hands in public that too occassionally when we go for a walk otherwise PDA is a taboo.

But my younger daughter goes one step ahead, she will kiss me publicly. When she started going to school ( I std) in Blr, she used to give her classmates a kiss saying too cute. I don't know how she will be when she grows big!

Dear Lalitha,

As parents ,its really a cause for concern, when kids as young as 12 - 13 are dating and have no issues about PDA's.
The parks as you say are full of these kind of lovers waiting to display their love. Like I mentioned earlier , some rule has to be implemented to ban such behaviour atleast in kids zone.
Your daughter seems like a very affectionate kid, and I am sure with you to guide her perfectly she'll know where to put the full stop!!

Love,
Devika

Hi Devika

That's a very cute acronym - misleading to think of the gadget, but a very sweet one...!

when we used to watch TV with the family and they would be some mushy scene ,we kids would go to the kitchen and emerge when we felt the scene would now be over

This very much reminds me of my childhood. That's exactly what we used to do too...

I find these PDSs extremely vulgar. Let alone the public places, it is extremely embarassing to watch TV when my parents or MIL are here, never know when the PDA will pop-in. So, we shift to Sun TV when they are here...!

-Gayathri.

Dear Gayathri,

Thanks for writing in. Its one thing to see it on TV , but whats appalling is the gross behaviour openly in front of adolescent minds and teeny weeny kids. Also the respect quotient towards the elders is terribly missing and modesty seems to have gone for a toss. Its truly a shame to imbibe in irresponsible behaviour giving it the name of Westernisation.

Love,
Devika