The Jinxed Feet
THE JINXED FEET
The beautiful bride walks into her new home. As per the rituals post the wedding the previous day, The bride and groom stayed at the bride’s home and after bidding adieu to the home she lived for so long , set the foot to the new home where she would want to be for the rest of her life.
We all welcomed her. She was very coy and a slightly uncomfortable. The next one hour was spent in trying to get her to relax.
A hour later we all had our evening tea and set to our own respective homes. We all walked to the door. My Parents, Aunts, uncles, cousins etc. My new Bhabhi, came and kissed me on my cheeks as I left and I knew we will have a wonderful association.
The next hour , My Dad expired.
After the days spent mourning the shock of the death of my Father , came the other shock. My family blamed my new Bhabhi for the tragedy. They thought she brought ill fate to our family. She was maligned . There wasn’t a day which passed when she wasn’t blamed for what she had done?
I was completely unaware of this, until one day she called me up to apologise and weeped non stop. I couldn’t understand her apology and thought she weeped for Dad.
But something seemed amiss. In the evening I went to her house and was shocked to see the state of Bhabhi. She looked so different now. The coy look had given way to a tensed worried look .
I took her out on the pretext of needing her help in buying something essential and on probing she told me that she was often accused of bringing the misfortune to the family.
I was shocked to hear this. She wasn’t given much importance and everyone considered her a bad omen.I went home and spoke to my mother who was even more shocked .
Though it is customary that she shouldn’t step out for one month , she went to my Aunt’s house . She told them that Bhabhi is very lucky for her and my Father. Infact it is because of her , he could enjoy the last days of his life in merriment . Her good omen had probably made God extend Dads life span for a few more days to witness the wedding of one of his favourite nephews. He was given the opportunity to bless the newly married couple. Her feet are not jinxed. Infact she said she would consider her, her lucky mascot and if ever anyone would blame her , I would sever ties with them.
My Bhabhi just couldn’t control her self .She wept insolably and the family was very embarrassed at their callous attitude. Her initial days as a bride had been traumatic.
Its been twenty years now and she has been enjoying her life, blessed with wonderful kids and the family respects her a lot. Her feet are no longer considered jinxed.
These are some of the superstitions that our society believes and this can mar somebodys existence. Things like the gap between the teeth , the size of the feet, the shape of the nose, the peak on the parting at the forehead, the gap between the fingers (?) etc are been subjected to crucial monitoring and as an absolute necessity in deciding the future. The simple aspect of the heart comes somewhere towards the end. I hope these things stop being given undue importance and most importantly play blame games for the something that is not in our hands and that fate has predestined.
Love,
Devika
The beautiful bride walks into her new home. As per the rituals post the wedding the previous day, The bride and groom stayed at the bride’s home and after bidding adieu to the home she lived for so long , set the foot to the new home where she would want to be for the rest of her life.
We all welcomed her. She was very coy and a slightly uncomfortable. The next one hour was spent in trying to get her to relax.
A hour later we all had our evening tea and set to our own respective homes. We all walked to the door. My Parents, Aunts, uncles, cousins etc. My new Bhabhi, came and kissed me on my cheeks as I left and I knew we will have a wonderful association.
The next hour , My Dad expired.
After the days spent mourning the shock of the death of my Father , came the other shock. My family blamed my new Bhabhi for the tragedy. They thought she brought ill fate to our family. She was maligned . There wasn’t a day which passed when she wasn’t blamed for what she had done?
I was completely unaware of this, until one day she called me up to apologise and weeped non stop. I couldn’t understand her apology and thought she weeped for Dad.
But something seemed amiss. In the evening I went to her house and was shocked to see the state of Bhabhi. She looked so different now. The coy look had given way to a tensed worried look .
I took her out on the pretext of needing her help in buying something essential and on probing she told me that she was often accused of bringing the misfortune to the family.
I was shocked to hear this. She wasn’t given much importance and everyone considered her a bad omen.I went home and spoke to my mother who was even more shocked .
Though it is customary that she shouldn’t step out for one month , she went to my Aunt’s house . She told them that Bhabhi is very lucky for her and my Father. Infact it is because of her , he could enjoy the last days of his life in merriment . Her good omen had probably made God extend Dads life span for a few more days to witness the wedding of one of his favourite nephews. He was given the opportunity to bless the newly married couple. Her feet are not jinxed. Infact she said she would consider her, her lucky mascot and if ever anyone would blame her , I would sever ties with them.
My Bhabhi just couldn’t control her self .She wept insolably and the family was very embarrassed at their callous attitude. Her initial days as a bride had been traumatic.
Its been twenty years now and she has been enjoying her life, blessed with wonderful kids and the family respects her a lot. Her feet are no longer considered jinxed.
These are some of the superstitions that our society believes and this can mar somebodys existence. Things like the gap between the teeth , the size of the feet, the shape of the nose, the peak on the parting at the forehead, the gap between the fingers (?) etc are been subjected to crucial monitoring and as an absolute necessity in deciding the future. The simple aspect of the heart comes somewhere towards the end. I hope these things stop being given undue importance and most importantly play blame games for the something that is not in our hands and that fate has predestined.
Love,
Devika
Total Comments 17
Comments
 |  Hi Devika Well writting dear............ It was sad to read about uo bhabhi but thank Lord it was ok later, these things happen and all the blame comes to the bride I feel sometimes why the boy is not blames for all such happenings........ About the last para I don't think all such things happen today as I know it use to be some 15 years back, but now girls and the girls parents don't allow all such things to happen. This is a good topic all the tortures happen just becoz of small misunderstandings............If you mom had not gone for her rescue I think this would have continued with that poor soul. |
Posted 27th May 2008 at 05:33 AM by Arunarc  |
| |  very well written devika, how many woman languish behind hurt and prejudice and the tears are flowing as abhishekam to human kind, wish people wake up and stop all these atrocities..sunkan |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 06:44 AM by sunkan |
| |  My dear Devikutty, Grief and trauma of great magnitude are conveyed in this piece you've penned.This habit of blaming others and sending them on long guilt trips are part and parcel of our society.Only when some understanding person takes up the cause of such innocent victims (like your Bhabi who was saved by your mother's wise action ) will such objectionable behaviour be stemmed before worse repercussions follow. The poor bride cannot even seek succour in her parental home at this juncture....there will be scores of wagging tongues working overtime there too !! Hope time will bring about a sea-change in these areas of life ...especially for women who are easy targets to heap the blame upon. Great piece with a positive message.Liked your choice of title too ! L.chechi (PAULINA) |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 08:11 AM by Paulina |
| |  Wow.. Devika!! Hats off to you..Very well writtern.Its a sad state of affairs that people thing this way. |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 08:46 AM by aishu22 |
| |  Devi Mole, yes, what you write is sadly true....in some families.A human being's life is predetermined & how can anybody "cut it short"? The same way, there is a tamil proverb "what will the man, poor thing do? It is all the luck of the woman he marries" There cannot be anything more absurd. But, now a days, nobody dares make such statements, for fear of the girl herself taking cudgels openly! They deserve it too! Love, Chithra. |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 09:06 AM by Chitvish |
| |  Dear Queeny, Thanks for the FB.Yes its very sad that always the woman is targetted for something that she has no control of. I do appreciate my Mothers timely intervene otherwise I shudder to think what would have been the fate of my poor Bhabhi.And shes such a gem. Love, Devika |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 09:14 AM by Devika Menon |
| | DEar Sunkan, You are so very true. Its time to wake up.Though we arent as bad as a couple of decades back yet there a lot of areas where we need to seriously consider some serious change in our thinking pattern. Thanks a lot for writing in Sunkan Love, Devika |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 09:16 AM by Devika Menon Updated 27th May 2008 at 09:22 AM by Devika Menon |
| | Dear L Chechi, Yes there is a lot of blame game. Many a times I have seen that after marriage there is so much of scrutiny that the new member of the family is perenially petrified of performing anything lest something goes wrong and then the repurcussions are something like a death warrant. There are still families who check the size of the feet and various other parts,If only they could set aside these physical attributes etc and check out her heart and openly welcome her the home would surely turn into a peaceful abode. Thanks for writing in Chechi. Love, Devikutty |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 09:22 AM by Devika Menon |
| | Dear Aishu, Thanks for writing in.I am glad you liked the blog. You said it right dear ,it really is a sad state of affairs. Its very wrong to blame the woman for something that she has no control of .If things dont change in that particular house where these kind of thought processes exist,life can be a sure hell. Love, Devika |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 09:25 AM by Devika Menon |
| | Dear Chithra Ma'am, Thankyou for writing in. As you say in some families it is still the basic norm to think that the bride brings the fortune.Such a proverb is nothing but hogwash .Its such a stress for the bride .I still remember one of my friends entered the husband's house after te wedding at 7 pm and the moment she entered the lights went off. Now it was a routine power cut there at 7 everyday, but yet the way everyone looked at her was full of accusation as though she was responsible. She felt so nervous that she started crying and literally had to be pacified by her husband. Today its ten years since the wedding and the husband once a middle class fellow has become a a very rich man successfully running his business, owning a chain of flats in Mumbai. I think we need to grow above all this. Love, Devika Mol |
| Posted 27th May 2008 at 09:34 AM by Devika Menon |
| |  Dear Devika, Its very tue how people are made jixed by their families. But your Bhabhi was blessed to have you as her sil and a wonderful mil so that things could be sorted out and she could lead a comfortable and peaceful life. Let me tell you something. When i got married, my younger sil was yet to get married though she was elder to me. Finally after lot of searchings, we had an alliance fixed and everything was finalized. We were too happy that she was going into a nice family. But our happiness was shortlived, as my elder sil who lived in Tamil Nadu called up to say that her only child was diagonised as suffering from Blood Cancer and was in Chennai cancer hospital. The next 10 days was horrible but we could not save the child. After all the rites were over, my younger sil and my mil had a big doubt, as to whether the new alliance is jinxed. They took the horoscopes to an astrolger and when he gave the green signal only things went ahead. These things were not made known to me as I am a revolutionary at my place. Even now Mil says if she hears these kinds of incidents that the lady is jinxed.....How sad when are these people going to change! Believe my my younger sil is a post graduate but still follow these kind of beliefs. For a women ..........women is her worst enemy. |
| Posted 28th May 2008 at 12:36 AM by Lalitha Shivaguru |
| |  Hi Devika, Very well written,Ma'am.I am new to this site,but it's become a daily affair to be in this site.Yesterday for first time going to blogs.Read your post.I was very touched.It happened 20 years back.But there are people who still have this going on. I would like to narrate my side of story. When i got married, after a few days My Mother-In-Law suffered a fracture.They did not blame me on my face,but i heard them saying it somebody and I was really hurt. A second incident was when i conceived.Itwas my first time and had conceived after 2 years of marriage.The day I was suppose to go to Gynaec, for confirmation,we got news from native place that my Sis-in-Laws Husband expired and we had to leave for the India the very same day.I did not them the news till few days. But after that I had to let them know.But when i told them,it was like the baby responsible for his death.,not directly but through thier talk i could make out like they said "You want to keep the baby,there is so much tension in the house".I had some problems ,so they took me to a Gynaec in thier place,who told me later that they have to do abortion due to problem.My In-Lwas did not even take second advice from other Doctors and were ready for the abortion. I lost my mother 6 years back,so it's my father with whom I share everything.I told my father about this.He immediately told my in-lwas whatever is the case,he would like a second opinion with other doctor.So i went to my father's place in Mumbai and had check up,who told me that everything is fine.I don't know whom to blame.I have just quiet for years now.Now my daughter is 2 year old.But everytime I see her.my mind goes back to that incident. This things will never come to end.......................How many people's mindset can we change....................... |
| Posted 28th May 2008 at 05:37 AM by babita_sn |
| | Dear Lalitha, Thankyou so much for writing in!! I agree there are still quite a few you are following these blind beliefs and its really sad. This kind of faith can actually curb the existence , in a way that one is constantly worried about how your entry into or exit from a pattern of society well benefit or mar. I am sorry about your sister. Yes i too have met quite a few like her. Whats sad is when something good happens the man also takes a part of the complimets as in his inputs have paid off, but if something bad comes out then it is essentially the jinx of the woman. Really a sorry state isnt it? Love, Devika |
| Posted 29th May 2008 at 03:19 AM by Devika Menon |
| | Welcome to IL Babita and a hearty welcome to my blog. Thanks for writing in. I understand these kind of comments must have seriously affected your psyche, especially at the onset of a new life. I am so glad that your father supported you.Though sometimes in our culture parents try not to intervene in the post marital discussions of the daughters life but i think it was very commendable that your Dad supported you for a second opinion. Kudos to such support from parents. I know Babita ,its diff for you to forget it but I am sure your blessings of a wonderful kid will see you through tough mental times. Thanks once again and hope you enjoy your stay here. Love, Devika |
| Posted 29th May 2008 at 03:28 AM by Devika Menon |
| | Thank You so Much Devika Ma'am for your quick reply. As My mother is not there my father has donned both the roles and is doing it so well.During my delivery time,he took care of me as a my mother would have taken.I am sure whereever my amma is,she must seeing all this and would be very happy. And it is daughter who keeps me going. Once again thank you so much for the kinds words. Love Babita |
| Posted 29th May 2008 at 05:09 AM by babita_sn |
| |  Hi Devika, Just now read this blog of yours.... It is a sad thing that even now, the girl is blamed for no fault of hers. I have heard of ladies being blamed, if something untoward happens in the family after her entrance...But never will the finger be pointed at the men. If he is doing well career wise, it is because he is smart and hard working....if he fails to make good in his job and runs into financial troubles, its the ladies fault..either she brought ill luck or she does not know to handle things properly at home...too bad But thankfully, there are good matured souls also...not all suffer like this..happy to know about your bhabhi doing good. |
| Posted 24th June 2008 at 04:23 AM by Saraswathipv |
| | Dear Sars, What you say is absolutely true. We seldom find men being blamed for the ill fate.Even if they havent been successful the blame lies in the woman for bringing him ill luck.Never is it thought that it is his lack of competancy, but it is the womans jinx that has brought about the bad phase for him. Our society needs to change seriously,atleast their approach in matters of blindly following hogwash must. Thanks for writng in Sars. Love, Devika |
| Posted 15th July 2008 at 03:56 AM by Devika Menon |
Recent Blog Entries by Devika Menon
- The Jinxed Feet (27th May 2008)
- Hey do you suffer from any of these?? (20th May 2008)
- The Beauty of Dawn! (3rd May 2008)
- PDA .. Do You Approve? (18th April 2008)
- Why wont MEN cry??? (4th April 2008)
