Mould them before its too late!!
Posted 9th September 2008 at 12:50 AM by Devika Menon
Updated 10th September 2008 at 11:51 PM by Laxmi
Updated 10th September 2008 at 11:51 PM by Laxmi
I have always loved being around children. The reason is the utmost innocence that is ever so appealing to me. When I look at the child I see the vulnerability , the innocence, the genuinity and the honesty. They are so easy to mould in which way we would love them too.
Very often I find that we somewhere make the mistake of overlooking the fact that what we overlook can have disastrous impact on their psyche as well as the psyche of other children too. The reason I write this here is because of an incident I witnessed today and just couldn’t help wonder ,”Couldn’t this have been averted?”
I was at a park with my daughter when I saw children playing in a group . Their mothers were all sitting around and watching them play. There was a mix of boys and girls and they were playing a game called kho kho.
As I watched I saw that the kids called each other with some various names that were downright mean. A few examples were, “ Hey send that blackie yaar. Push that fatso ,. give space to the bucky(a child with buck teeth)” etc etc The girl who was called a bucky looked so embarrassed that as a reflex action she looked around to see if anyone had heard it and to top it I saw some parents laughing.. This sent me thinking. Is it ok to ridicule a child like this??. It was shocking to observe the mothers laughing the moment some such ridiculous name was called. I wondered wouldn’t this habit continue. Later wouldn’t this affect the child .Today if a child is called a blackie or a bucky , maybe he or she is too small to worry about it , But should’nt this habit be nipped in the bud.? Arent we promoting children to not respect their friends.?? I think even at a tender age it is very important to realize that respect your fellow beings irrespective of age is very important because this grows within you and also along with you. One needs to understand that such kind of mockery and ridiculing can have serious impact on the person , create an inferiority complex and sometimes irreparable damage. Its important to mould the child when there is still time . Do it before its too late or someday you might be the victim too.
I think as parents , or siblings we must all think seriously. Sometimes things might be said for fun , but then one needs to know the place and the limitations and also whether it is ok to do so . I felt sad for the kid who was called a 'bucky'. Fine she can grow up and take an orthodontic treatment and get her tooth aligned , but that’s beside the point . The primary need here is to teach your kid to respect each one with whatever external appearance they have after all at this age itself they need to know that it is more important to be beautiful internally that externally and with a mind that ridicules others the internal beauty might lose its charm very soon. It is important to teach them that each and every creation of GOD’s is beautiful in its own way and we have absolutely no right to ridicule anyone unless we wish to invite the wrath of GOD.
Love,
Devika
Very often I find that we somewhere make the mistake of overlooking the fact that what we overlook can have disastrous impact on their psyche as well as the psyche of other children too. The reason I write this here is because of an incident I witnessed today and just couldn’t help wonder ,”Couldn’t this have been averted?”
I was at a park with my daughter when I saw children playing in a group . Their mothers were all sitting around and watching them play. There was a mix of boys and girls and they were playing a game called kho kho.
As I watched I saw that the kids called each other with some various names that were downright mean. A few examples were, “ Hey send that blackie yaar. Push that fatso ,. give space to the bucky(a child with buck teeth)” etc etc The girl who was called a bucky looked so embarrassed that as a reflex action she looked around to see if anyone had heard it and to top it I saw some parents laughing.. This sent me thinking. Is it ok to ridicule a child like this??. It was shocking to observe the mothers laughing the moment some such ridiculous name was called. I wondered wouldn’t this habit continue. Later wouldn’t this affect the child .Today if a child is called a blackie or a bucky , maybe he or she is too small to worry about it , But should’nt this habit be nipped in the bud.? Arent we promoting children to not respect their friends.?? I think even at a tender age it is very important to realize that respect your fellow beings irrespective of age is very important because this grows within you and also along with you. One needs to understand that such kind of mockery and ridiculing can have serious impact on the person , create an inferiority complex and sometimes irreparable damage. Its important to mould the child when there is still time . Do it before its too late or someday you might be the victim too.
I think as parents , or siblings we must all think seriously. Sometimes things might be said for fun , but then one needs to know the place and the limitations and also whether it is ok to do so . I felt sad for the kid who was called a 'bucky'. Fine she can grow up and take an orthodontic treatment and get her tooth aligned , but that’s beside the point . The primary need here is to teach your kid to respect each one with whatever external appearance they have after all at this age itself they need to know that it is more important to be beautiful internally that externally and with a mind that ridicules others the internal beauty might lose its charm very soon. It is important to teach them that each and every creation of GOD’s is beautiful in its own way and we have absolutely no right to ridicule anyone unless we wish to invite the wrath of GOD.
Love,
Devika
Total Comments 10
Comments
 |  Mole, I go with you fully. But what shocks me is, these habits are prevalent even today. Decades back, boys used to be called 'mottai" (Completely shaven), Gundu (fatso) & girls as "kuLLa baski" (shortie), rettai mandai ( protruded head).Believe me, when I was young, my aunt used to call me "yanai kathu"(elephant's ears) because my one ear was big!! The children feel very bad and the harm done their ego is irrepairable. But when you write that parents do not correct, but look on indulgingly makes a mockery of bringing up kids! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Devika...its really an unhealthy practise.more than the kids, its the parents who are to be blamed. Little children are too innocent to call names based on the physical features. They imitate or pickup from some one whom they observe. Parents ought to correct them. I am surprised that ...here..the moms seemed to be happy. Isn't it encouragement enough for the child to take continue. You are so right...parents being the child's first guru, have to mould them before it becomes too late for them to be moulded in this aspect. |
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| |  DM, Thank god the post a comment got opened, was waiting to put in a fb here. During our childhood, kids used to call each other nicknames, it was done in a friendly manner, and if it was serious, the parents used to take them to task,and we were taught not to hurt anybody. today very few parents teach that. Parents today, think and take whatever their child does, with too much pride, sometimes for the wrong doings also. moreover, they tend to discuss certain things in front of the children, that the kids reproduce and mimick it in front of their classmates, playgroups, peers just thinking it is good. This is the wrong cult that is developing slowly. And beware, if you are tempted to correct the child, for you may earn the wrath of the parent. A timely blog..dear.... Parents are the first guru's as saras says, and they definitely need to mould them before it is too late... |
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| |  Hi Devika Well said, it is so difficult to change such people when parents itself sit and laugh at it what can others do. This time when I came to India there was an inccident that happened. There was a boy 1st boy calling another kid 2nd boy as mad boy and this kid did not give that much attention to it and ignored, the 2nd boy's mother noticed, instead of going and telling the 1st boy's mother to tell her kid to stop that, this lady wanted to burn the 2nd boys tongue for sitting quite. What you have to say for this. Thank God nothing happened at that time that lady's DH came and stopped her, This happened in my mom's neigbhour's house. It is the parent's who have to teach the kids instend they sitting and laughing is ridiculous. We can't even tell these parents anything or they will tell you who are you to tell mind your own business. Poor kids they are like wet clay the way we mould them they will grow that way. Weli written |
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| |  There is hope!Hello Ga, Kashi ahes tu? We grew up with abusive nicknames. It was a part of our growing up. People said it helped us get used to the harsher realities of life. No wonder we carry these prejudicies to our grave. Just look at the Matrimonial columns that stress on how "fair, beautiful, slim, tall & intelligent girls" are required. Why would a girl with all the above qualifications get married to a dud? Kids are told Arts stream is for duds while science & commerce are for the intellingent kids. That is a stigma attached to a course that is so rich & varied in subjects. When a kid is born, pink is for girls & blue is for boys. We start stereotyping things right from infancy. There is hope with enlightened parents bringing up kids in a wonderful way. Regards, Corallux |
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| |  Devika,Rightly said, parents are to mould the child and teach them how to treat fellow human beings. If parents are like that, who is to mould them?I second each and every fb here..sriniketan |
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| |  Dear devika Not all parents today have the time to look into the habits of their children..i can see parents spoiling their children by getting them whatever they demand and not even give a second thought of what they do....it is a good thought provoking blog by you to make all of us think if we are indeed spening time to mould our children into good human beings.... lov sowmi |
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| |  dear devika so true that we do have dedication to bring up our kids but at times we lack vision. when they will grow up with worng habits they'll tell us 'its ur fault '  and their collegues will find their company not very inviting and might be even their jobs suffer. moreover they will not respect us also..as we did not teach them how to respect. and these ideas need ingraining. howz that for a visionary thought.this is another reason why we need to mould our kids |
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| |  Good habits and good teachings start right in the mother's lap... Regards Moonbeams |
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| |  I can't agree with you more on that!My dear Devika, Ver often I have heard it said that children can be cruel to each other.They hurt each other with their comments on thers and calling each other by not so flattering nicknames.We don't realise that children learn from us and imitate us. Parents and elders at home shuld be very careful when they talk to each other in front of children Even our prejudices for some not to our liking,relatives will be passed on to them very easily. Apart from that as you rightly said,parents have to guide their children and tell them how certain remarks wmade by them will hurt others. As always you have chosen a sensitive and much needed to be discussed topic. love mithila kannan |
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Recent Blog Entries by Devika Menon
- Light of Life (26th November 2008)
- Mould them before its too late!! (9th September 2008)
- The Jinxed Feet (27th May 2008)
- Hey do you suffer from any of these?? (20th May 2008)
- The Beauty of Dawn! (3rd May 2008)
