Is expecting honesty from teenagers a tall order?
Posted 26th June 2009 at 07:45 AM by Deaf woman
Finest Blog of June 2009 - Runner-Up!
Last week I read a tongue in cheek article by a teen in The hindu NXG edition.
She laments how difficult it is for teens to be open with their parents about
outings ,friends .I found some teens are dead against their parents using the
children's mobiles or checking them.My mom was a disciplinarian ,yet i was
close to her and talked about everything in my teens ,of course I got some
admonishements from her too.But that never deterred me to be close to her
or rather discuss issues relating to my life.
Nowadays youth are so secretive about their life ,that left me question the role
parents play in their upbringing .Should we as parents let the children do what
they want and remain mute spectators or should we face the wrath of children
by asking to be a part of their life?We read so many stories about abusing parents
and how children should be protected from .But how do we draw the line when to
interfere and when not to.I wonder if our parents too felt like this when we are growing up.
Last week I read a tongue in cheek article by a teen in The hindu NXG edition.
She laments how difficult it is for teens to be open with their parents about
outings ,friends .I found some teens are dead against their parents using the
children's mobiles or checking them.My mom was a disciplinarian ,yet i was
close to her and talked about everything in my teens ,of course I got some
admonishements from her too.But that never deterred me to be close to her
or rather discuss issues relating to my life.
Nowadays youth are so secretive about their life ,that left me question the role
parents play in their upbringing .Should we as parents let the children do what
they want and remain mute spectators or should we face the wrath of children
by asking to be a part of their life?We read so many stories about abusing parents
and how children should be protected from .But how do we draw the line when to
interfere and when not to.I wonder if our parents too felt like this when we are growing up.
Total Comments 32
Comments
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Honestly, I do not know what one should do or not do, even though I have two grown up children. I can only tell you what my own experience is. I myself was a diffident yet very independent person both in thought and in action. Sounds very contradictory does it not? Well, it is like this. I did not do so many things in my life because of my diffidence + many other reasons. So when my children did things unusual, I was encouraging and managed to stay in the loop by participating in it in whatever way possible without intruding on them. They grew up to be quite self sufficient and independent. I would not say they are ideal children or I am an ideal parent. But the communication I established with them is total and complete. I do not expect them to tell me every thing but believe they will if I ask them. If there is anything I do know about them, I believe I do not need to. It does not hurt me because I respect their personal space as much as I do mine. This has been the scene all their lives from kindergarten period to this day. What I mean to say, with me it has been trust and respect between us that has been the basis of our relationship. It seems to me that my children would agree with me wholeheartedly.Posted 9th July 2009 at 11:59 PM by songbird3
- hi deaf woman I saw your blog a bit late , it was good da , i too think about that , my mom was like your mom , she used to be friendly at the same time strict , but still i love my mom very much , in such a way i want to be.
Hi happy ur poem is very good yaar.Posted 10th July 2009 at 03:24 AM by sucharajalahari -
Shanvy,
You are welcome anytime.You raised a valid point here .Its true that strict discipline leads to children trying to con their parent.Giving them space with large doses of love and affection will pave the way for better relations i hope.
vijjiPosted 10th July 2009 at 10:07 AM by Deaf woman - vijayacmouli
True there is no magic formula as such and practicing what you preach will make you a better parent too. Thanks for your valuable FB.
vijjiPosted 10th July 2009 at 10:10 AM by Deaf woman - Songbird,
It sure is a tightrope walk interacting with our children.Glad to know that you did it well and may your tribe increase more and more .thanks for stepping in
vijjiPosted 10th July 2009 at 10:13 AM by Deaf woman
