Are you a superwoman? - Happy Women's Day, Friends!
Posted 2nd March 2008 at 08:26 PM by Chitvish
This is a question, which we tend to ask ourselves, when expectations about us soar high in the circle of our family and friends! This term was unheard of by me, in my younger days! I wonder if superwomen were non-existent then or it is a newly coined term to denote a woman who is a career woman as well as a home maker. A friend says, after Superman made his entry 50 yrs back, Superwoman followed him! That sounds very reasonable!!
As soon as you are married and enter your husband's home, your in-laws are likely to think that they have bagged for their pampered son, the best bride. They want you to be
1 -The torchbearer of the family
2 - The perfect companion for their son
3 - A mother to grandchildren who bring home only laurels in studies, sports and not to forget extracurricular activities
4 - An expert cook, who can dish out tiramasu as effortlessly as idli-sambar
5 - An adorable "daughter-like" daughter in law
None of these is an easy role! Very often the expectations surpass your capacity and disillusionment sets in inevitably!
We are very often cramped and stifled within the framework of our limitations and tend to forget to be ourselves. We are at our best as individuals. Fixing targets for us is like tying a stone to the legs of a soaring bird! A woman unfettered by targets can surpass all expectations in every field of her activity, as a professional, as a housewife, as a mother, as a friend, whatever!
Thinking back, when I first heard of Jacqueline Kennedy, I thought she was a superwoman, the press was raving about.
Her successor in that category was Princess Diana!
Looking back, I think, they were more admired for their beauty and position than their accomplishments.
Now we talk of Kalpana Chawla and Sunitha Williams, the same way.
Yet another superwoman was our own late Prime Minister Indira Gandhi.
When we read about , say, Indira Nooyi, we tend to think, she is a superwoman.
It is no easy task, unless you
Are gifted with best brains
Have applied yourself conscientiously in education and career
Are blessed with a supportive family
Are wholeheartedly and judiciously able to balance career and family.
I am neither a champion nor a conqueror nor idol, least of all, a heroine! But very often, my husband would like me to be one, to suit his needs! His concept is
I must be a good cook
I must keep an impeccable home
I must be a "handywoman" for an emergency
I must gain the confidence of all relatives
…………………………………………………………
But, friends, let me frankly admit, I just love to be myself, flaws and all!
Love,
Chithra.
As soon as you are married and enter your husband's home, your in-laws are likely to think that they have bagged for their pampered son, the best bride. They want you to be
1 -The torchbearer of the family
2 - The perfect companion for their son
3 - A mother to grandchildren who bring home only laurels in studies, sports and not to forget extracurricular activities
4 - An expert cook, who can dish out tiramasu as effortlessly as idli-sambar
5 - An adorable "daughter-like" daughter in law
None of these is an easy role! Very often the expectations surpass your capacity and disillusionment sets in inevitably!
We are very often cramped and stifled within the framework of our limitations and tend to forget to be ourselves. We are at our best as individuals. Fixing targets for us is like tying a stone to the legs of a soaring bird! A woman unfettered by targets can surpass all expectations in every field of her activity, as a professional, as a housewife, as a mother, as a friend, whatever!
Thinking back, when I first heard of Jacqueline Kennedy, I thought she was a superwoman, the press was raving about.
Her successor in that category was Princess Diana!
Looking back, I think, they were more admired for their beauty and position than their accomplishments.
Now we talk of Kalpana Chawla and Sunitha Williams, the same way.
Yet another superwoman was our own late Prime Minister Indira Gandhi.
When we read about , say, Indira Nooyi, we tend to think, she is a superwoman.
It is no easy task, unless you
Are gifted with best brains
Have applied yourself conscientiously in education and career
Are blessed with a supportive family
Are wholeheartedly and judiciously able to balance career and family.
I am neither a champion nor a conqueror nor idol, least of all, a heroine! But very often, my husband would like me to be one, to suit his needs! His concept is
I must be a good cook
I must keep an impeccable home
I must be a "handywoman" for an emergency
I must gain the confidence of all relatives
…………………………………………………………
But, friends, let me frankly admit, I just love to be myself, flaws and all!
Love,
Chithra.
Total Comments 28
Comments
 |  SuperWoman being written by one super woman dear Chithra..I agree to that long list of things that is expected of the bride..also your list of woman are definetly considered super women too..Your husbands idea of wife would probably fit every man's expectations give or take a few..But I think if we can adequately balance our lives that we have chosen for ourselves we can consider ourselves a super woman too. |
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| |  Dear Chith In today's world everyone expects you to be a super woman. Most often even by neglecting our own health we do things.. Some are super woman naturally. They have it in them..Each of us has our strengths and weakness. How to utilise your strengths and understand your weakness can help us to a large extend. I agree with your last line fully. Yes I am what I am. I want to be myself. And it is true with every one. When we have freedom to decide and do things according to our wish most often we find we can do many things. Then we start enjoying doing things. Slowly we realise our strength and can do many things. they get peace out of it. Then a woman truly turns to be a super woman. No more it is a compulsion or the need of the day. Love Vidhi |
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| |  Chithmam, Happy women's day. Everybody wants you to be super..take the case of the kids, they expect you to be a supermom, your husband wants a superwife, in-laws.a patience incarnated as DIL.,a super daughter to the parents...in the run to satisfy others, we forget that we are human with a need and want to ourselves... It has taken me so long to realise, i need to be just me.. I am proud of being a woman. |
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| |  Chith,absolutely agreed with you.They indeed expect you to be all in one.I have thought about this thing a lot many times.When R sit backs and relaxes on a lazy saturday morning me, running between rooms-cleaning,washing..wat way is it justified.I also work all the 5 days being a co-bread winner.He does help me, but this is the condition when a guest(In laws side) is at home.All burden on the woman of the house! We need to take in all their preferences, cook good food,take them for temples(if they want to visit)...my god....The list is endless. I would say every woman is indeed a super woman..with all her flaws may be, but still going on to satisfy every sphere in life. |
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| | I think the adjective super-woman is a carrot men dangle in front of us to make us surpass our already better selves!  With due credit to all super women, I think super women know how to better "manage" expectations rather than fulfilling all expectations all the time. I agree with others, that all women are inherently and most definitely super!SS |
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| |  Thanks, leader of my blog feedbacks ! Men being men, women being women, we can conclude every woman is a superwoman, in her own way. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Vidhi, you have written very well. Yes, it is not worth doing anything, neglecting our health etc to come up to somebody's level of expectations. We mus remember we wre answerable only to ourselves first & foremost.If we are happy with all that we do, we are superwomen, definitly ! Love, Chith. |
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| | Yes, I fully agree with you, Shan! mangayaraai piRappatharkae maathavam seithida veNdum amma ! Let us apply ourselves completely - body & mind - in whatever we take up to do.You are a superwoman to yourself. Let us not ask for anything more ! Love, Chith. |
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| | Aish, your list is very true ! Even at this age, when Vish sits with the newspaper & coffee in the mornings, I wonder, why he can't come to the kitchen & help me ! Well, I think they are "conditioned" differently. But everyone of us is a superwoman in her field of chosen activities ! Love, Chith. |
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| | Dear SS, as if we are bothered.....about being called super or not ! We must nevertheless do, what comes naturally to us, efficiently & without compromising on the quality of work.Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Chithra, HAPPY WOMAN'S DAY TO YOU TOO SuperWoman! You are one good eg of a superwoman, what with all the things you seem to be doing on IL and outside!  Well i too agree with this statement of yours....."Fixing targets for us is like tying a stone to the legs of a soaring bird! A woman unfettered by targets can surpass all expectations in every field of her activity, as a professional, as a housewife, as a mother, as a friend, whatever!" I believe this is the best.....if we can just live as we want and as we are, then we are able to rise to any expectation without actually trying! Isn't it!? |
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| | Dear Sudha, you did embarass me....as if I was fishing for compliments !No, please. Doing our job, our way, but to the best of our ability - this should be followed conscientiously. Then every woman is a super-duper woman ! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Chitra HAPPY WOMAN'S DAY Why to mention so many people around us Chitra when we have a superwoman right here.........Dear Chitra when we have you here no need of any one else, a perfect housewife which I can tell just sitting down here reading your posts, which you write about your daily experiences, each and everything coming out from your heart, a great cook, a great writer, some one who is always ready to help, Gives us slokhas its meaningsetc etc............ Super write up dear. Love Aruna |
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| |  Dear Chitvish, Happy Womens Day... What is the difference between a Women and a Superwomen??? Whatever you have mentioned like being a torchbearer, companion, mother etc... is a natural process, once you get married and have children... Only if you excel in that... ie., you and your family are united, happy and growing, you are a successful women... Only if you are successful, then you come into the category of SW... For being a SW, you need not have to be a public personality... Most of the great public personalities do not have a high personal life... Balancing public and personal life is an art... and very few people have masterd that.... So we have to decide what we want to do.... "I am neither a champion nor a conqueror nor idol, least of all, a heroine! But very often, my husband would like me to be one, to suit his needs!" Here i would like to slightly disagree... For every husband, his DW is supposed to be a super heroine only... That shows the true love and affection between them and the strength of the marriage... If he start thinking of somebody else, then the marriage is gone... So, dear Chitvish, you are one of the great SW... and a great heroine for a great Man, Mr. Vish... My concept is, If I dont expect from my wife... from whom else should I have to expect things.... I am not saying it should be a one way traffic... But it should not be a no entry... These are absolutely my personal views only.... May be I am wrong........ Veda |
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| | Oh, Aruna, thanks a ton !But, please do not single me out. Every one is a superwoman, in her own way - there is no yardstick ! Do not judge me by my interaction in IL - my family will beg to disagree !  Love, Chithra. |
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| | Veda, coming from a man....I loved your words. Yes, for every man, his wife should be the superwoman & vice versa. If only men & women stop comparing & complaining, the world will be a better place, right? Love, Chithra. |
| Updated 4th March 2008 at 11:08 AM by Chitvish |
| | Dear Chithra, Your post brought a smile to my face :) I myself have experienced some, if not all, of the situations you have quoted. But, I can absolutely relate to all of them 'cos I've seen how much my mom struggled / struggles, juggling roles. I think it is better to set expectations VERY CLEAR right from the beginning, of one's strengths and weaknesses and that our needs and health are important too, esp in the case of working women. Times are changing now...but a lot is yet to change ! I would also, to some extent, blame ourselves, I mean - women, for this dilemma. On one hand, we want to be recognized in all fields, esp in corporate sector, equal to men. We want high salaries, high flying careers, promotions etc. But this also means, we need to work long hours in office akin to men !!! It is all about 'equality' and 'fair play' you see! I have myself seen some of my women colleagues who, many times unnecessarily, stay long hours at work / answer official emails in unwieldy hours, just to 'impress' and prove that they are working 'hard' too, like their male counterparts!!! They undertake frequent official trips, leaving children in day care etc! One woman I know, went to office, till the day prior to her baby delivery, 'cos it was appraisal time and she didnt want to lose out on promotion and salary and postponed her maternity leave till the last minute literally! Despite being a woman myself, I believe that a woman's top priority shd be home and family and not office at all times. Only when this realization exists, can one prioritize clearly. Not to say, men shdn't care abt home at all !! But there has to be a balance and a sense of priority. It is about taking onus of one role - breadwinner / homemaker, while helping the spouse in his/her role. In families that I've seen, where both husband and wife are working, the stress levels seem higher than ones where only husband is working. The women here are anything but superwomen, as they are squeezed of time and energy. The men, on the other hand, do realize that their wife's income means possibly additional comforts, but are not willing to share household duties. Very strange scenario...as both parties dont know what they are after ultimately!!! Cheers Pavithra |
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| | Pavithra, you have written very clearly!But now that career also comes a woman's way, she wants the best of both worlds.I feel, my generation had things "spelt out" more clearly & we had less problems in some areas ! Love, Chithra. |
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| | hmm chith...I agree that sometimes, following set 'rules' makes life simpler indeed !! I suppose each generation envies the other one for some reason or the other. I am jealous that you all - my mom's gen I mean - are such efficient home-makers. And I suppose - correct me if I am wrong - women of my generation are envied for the liberty - financial and otherwise - (not just aduppoodum penn I mean) that we seem to be enjoying !! I can honestly admit that I cannot do full justice to home as long as I have a career to balance !!! Nice post...got me thinking on this eternal dilemma yet again... Love Pavithra |
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| | Pavithra, just a small disagreement, if I am allowed !You write women of my generation are envied for the liberty - financial and otherwise I do not think so ! Unless you have experienced something or perhaps crave for something beyond your reach, you will never miss it ! We were very happy & contented within given parametres! I do not think, I ever felt the necessity for financial freedom. It was never - my money, your money - but always our money ! We had the confidence that liberty will never be taken for granted or misused. Ofcourse, there are likely to be exceptions, as for every rule ! Love, Chithra. |
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