We parted ways on Valentine Day !
Posted 10th February 2008 at 08:29 PM by Chitvish
Updated 20th February 2008 at 01:34 AM by Chitvish
Updated 20th February 2008 at 01:34 AM by Chitvish
I am Kalpana, a small-town girl, brought up under the strict vigilant eyes of my grandparents.
After I finished schooling, a local co-education college was the only option available. Aware of my quest for knowledge, my father convinced my grandparents to allow me to join the same college. I joined the college, after going through an intense training of
“do’s and don’ts in a co-ed college“, courtesy, my aged grandparents.
My first day in college looked insipid to me because the majority of students were boys, most of them plain looking (I mean, less smart looking) and just a sprinkling of colours with hardly 50 girls. Given my strict upbringing, I dared not even glance at any boy a second time !
In the ladies’ room, I overheard a few girls talking about one senior student K. Raju.
To say the least, the name sounded quite insipid to me ! They were mentioning to each other in hushed tones about how handsome he was. Well, I was brought up on a strict dose of “ Handsome is what handsome does”! So I did not pay much attention to what they were talking. That almost all the girls had given him love letters & were rebuffed by him was a known secret.
One day when I was crossing over from one class room to the other, I could feel somebody just coming behind & thrusting a paper in my hand. Before I could realize who he was, he disappeared. It was the first letter, ever given to me by a boy ! He was none other than Raju ! He started his letter saying that my “ dignified aloofness” charmed him no end & he could not help writing to me ! Without exaggeration, that day started a torrential flow of letters from one to the other. We spoke to each other barely in person, but only in letters. Though I started sensing that this was not going to lead us anywhere, I was in no position to help myself.
We fixed up a venue where we exchanged letters in a flash, because people would be passing by & anybody could recognize me in the town!
I realized then, passion is a “mild word”. Our letters had nothing but that ! Honestly, the passion which I experienced with my first love was, never experienced by me when married. I now think there is more passion in first love than in marriage. In marriage, everything is taken for granted & we do things dutifully, following our biological instincts. There is no time to think of passion & love. We just fall into a mundane routine without savouring the subtle aspects of life.
We were great fans of Bharathy, the great Tamil poet. He was “Kannan, en kathalan” and I became his” Kannamma, en kathali”. We lived almost a full life-time in correspondence !
We both knew, marriage was nowhere possible; in fact I now don’t remember whether that word ever cropped up between us ! It was the feeling of being loved & adored by the other, which gave us all the high, at that time ! The letters were always 10 – 12 pages. Reading his letters & writing to him an equal volume without anybody’s knowledge was a challenging task . But I did enjoy it thoroughly !
That was the time Valentine Day had started gaining popularity, in the media ! We did not want to miss meeting each other, that day. But we also were sadly aware, that day, we would have the unavoidable, emotionally challenging act of taking leave of each other. He had finished his course and was leaving for Chennai, for his study holidays.
We did meet, to bid a tearful adieu to each other. We realized that there was barely a chance of one crossing the other’s path ever in future. For the first and last time, we held each other’s hand – almost an electric shock passed through me and I just broke down. He acted a man, literally ! He said, “ I am K. Raju, forever. You (Kalpana) will remain by my side, first, till my last day”. We parted ways on a Valentine’s Day – that was what God had willed for us !
Thinking back, I should say that, emotionally, I was just a bud at that time, a tight bud – given my upbringing ! He was just a whiff of fresh air at that age & looking back, I think he literally opened out the petals in the bud, very gently, very soothingly & very lovingly. We just exchanged looks & letters. But they were so laden with emotions that one just smoothly entered, rather glided into the other’s heart ! Without planning or realising, it was all over ! There was as much agony as there was pleasure. Agony, because everything had to be done stealthily & I did feel guilty that I was cheating my parents. But the pleasure was immeasurable & more like a craving. I think since it was the first experience for both of us, we were literally head over heels in love, I now feel.
Raju literally brought out the woman in me & then there was no looking back for me in life. That I (who was full of inferiority complex) was loved by the hero of the whole college really boosted my morale & raised my self-confidence tremendously. Thoughts about Raju, buried deep inside have surfaced so much in the past one week for me that I really wish they go back to the dormant level again. Of course, it is in my hands only, I know ! Anyway God blessed my first love & I hope he has blessed my first Valentine also with a happy , healthy, peaceful & prosperous life !
A short story by Chithra.
After I finished schooling, a local co-education college was the only option available. Aware of my quest for knowledge, my father convinced my grandparents to allow me to join the same college. I joined the college, after going through an intense training of
“do’s and don’ts in a co-ed college“, courtesy, my aged grandparents.
My first day in college looked insipid to me because the majority of students were boys, most of them plain looking (I mean, less smart looking) and just a sprinkling of colours with hardly 50 girls. Given my strict upbringing, I dared not even glance at any boy a second time !
In the ladies’ room, I overheard a few girls talking about one senior student K. Raju.
To say the least, the name sounded quite insipid to me ! They were mentioning to each other in hushed tones about how handsome he was. Well, I was brought up on a strict dose of “ Handsome is what handsome does”! So I did not pay much attention to what they were talking. That almost all the girls had given him love letters & were rebuffed by him was a known secret.
One day when I was crossing over from one class room to the other, I could feel somebody just coming behind & thrusting a paper in my hand. Before I could realize who he was, he disappeared. It was the first letter, ever given to me by a boy ! He was none other than Raju ! He started his letter saying that my “ dignified aloofness” charmed him no end & he could not help writing to me ! Without exaggeration, that day started a torrential flow of letters from one to the other. We spoke to each other barely in person, but only in letters. Though I started sensing that this was not going to lead us anywhere, I was in no position to help myself.
We fixed up a venue where we exchanged letters in a flash, because people would be passing by & anybody could recognize me in the town!
I realized then, passion is a “mild word”. Our letters had nothing but that ! Honestly, the passion which I experienced with my first love was, never experienced by me when married. I now think there is more passion in first love than in marriage. In marriage, everything is taken for granted & we do things dutifully, following our biological instincts. There is no time to think of passion & love. We just fall into a mundane routine without savouring the subtle aspects of life.
We were great fans of Bharathy, the great Tamil poet. He was “Kannan, en kathalan” and I became his” Kannamma, en kathali”. We lived almost a full life-time in correspondence !
We both knew, marriage was nowhere possible; in fact I now don’t remember whether that word ever cropped up between us ! It was the feeling of being loved & adored by the other, which gave us all the high, at that time ! The letters were always 10 – 12 pages. Reading his letters & writing to him an equal volume without anybody’s knowledge was a challenging task . But I did enjoy it thoroughly !
That was the time Valentine Day had started gaining popularity, in the media ! We did not want to miss meeting each other, that day. But we also were sadly aware, that day, we would have the unavoidable, emotionally challenging act of taking leave of each other. He had finished his course and was leaving for Chennai, for his study holidays.
We did meet, to bid a tearful adieu to each other. We realized that there was barely a chance of one crossing the other’s path ever in future. For the first and last time, we held each other’s hand – almost an electric shock passed through me and I just broke down. He acted a man, literally ! He said, “ I am K. Raju, forever. You (Kalpana) will remain by my side, first, till my last day”. We parted ways on a Valentine’s Day – that was what God had willed for us !
Thinking back, I should say that, emotionally, I was just a bud at that time, a tight bud – given my upbringing ! He was just a whiff of fresh air at that age & looking back, I think he literally opened out the petals in the bud, very gently, very soothingly & very lovingly. We just exchanged looks & letters. But they were so laden with emotions that one just smoothly entered, rather glided into the other’s heart ! Without planning or realising, it was all over ! There was as much agony as there was pleasure. Agony, because everything had to be done stealthily & I did feel guilty that I was cheating my parents. But the pleasure was immeasurable & more like a craving. I think since it was the first experience for both of us, we were literally head over heels in love, I now feel.
Raju literally brought out the woman in me & then there was no looking back for me in life. That I (who was full of inferiority complex) was loved by the hero of the whole college really boosted my morale & raised my self-confidence tremendously. Thoughts about Raju, buried deep inside have surfaced so much in the past one week for me that I really wish they go back to the dormant level again. Of course, it is in my hands only, I know ! Anyway God blessed my first love & I hope he has blessed my first Valentine also with a happy , healthy, peaceful & prosperous life !
A short story by Chithra.
Total Comments 23
Comments
 |  Dear Chithra Yet another interesting short story from you and a timely one as Valentine's is approaching.. You are becoming a very adept story teller ..maybe you missed your calling.. But then we would have missed all the mouth watering recipes.. Very nicely and cleanly told story.. |
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| |  AC, do not accuse me....if I take your words seriously & end up feeling proud that I am really good ! Thankyou for the most prompt FB, a blogger can ask for ! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Chitvish, Nice story.... Enjoyed... Poor guys.... (both Kalpana & Raju)... Parents, domestic situations etc.... force people to abandon their love... Sometimes it does makes me to think, is it real love or infactuation... Sometimes, when we long for some love and affection and if by chance somebody show some affection, we start loving them... Opposite poles attract each other... The first love will always ever be in the heart.... Veda |
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| | Thankyou, Veda, for joining me here.I personally feel, the first love is the purest and most sincere. At that time, one does not think of anything else or any other person..That makes all the subsequent loves, to that extent, impure ! I think infatuation is what we call "puppy love" ! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dearest Chithu, First things first, this story brought out the emotions so well. In fact I have seen so many go thru this, but what to say knowingly they get themselves involved, though it might always culminate into marriage.To maintain a relationship mostly thru letters is the most diffliclut thing at times. For Kalpana , Raju it is something that they will never forget. Very nice story, nice theme too. |
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| | Thanks Janani !I think, certain things just happen in our lives - not always knowingly or otherwise, planned or unplanned ! We cannot say, all love affairs end in marriage. But the enjoyment in first love looked very pure to me & hence I wrote this. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Dear Chithra.. Very touching story. I agree with you that first love is always the purest and most special. I have heard this saying (or may be just a stmt) from some elders..."heart is like a bud. Once flowered through love, the same bud will not flower again and again...". I think it is not possible to love someone to the same extent as the first love... Keep your posts coming. I am enjoying this journey with you. with love pavithra |
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| |  very nice chithra, valentine mood has infected all and these stories just go on to endorse it, wonderful i must say the nuances have been well expressed..sunkan |
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| | Pavithra, your words are very encouraging....that you are with me in my blog journey. There is a tamil cinema song that,anthing, enjoyed for the first time has a special charm! So, that must hold good for first love also? Thanks. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Sunkan, I am very happy...that you have read my blog & sent me a feedback also ! I had written this sometime back, but introduced valentine day to post it thie week ! Thankyou very much. Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Chithra Ma'am, Thank you for gifting us a nice and clean story in the valentine week. I have several questions about the story......expressing love to one another in a secret way knowing that it will never have a good ending, isn't it a form of cheating.......to everybody, I suppose......to the parents......to themselves and then to the respective spouses...... I feel that nobody can't forget the first love.......do the girl in the story ever be happy with his spouse.....are the thoughts of their love will never haunt both of them.......Though they will never compare their respective spouse verbally with their first love....but during odd times, they may feel that their past was better than the present...how a person clinging onto their past be happy with the present life.........I feel trying for a mirage is foolishness, if you know it's a mirage...... Regards. |
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| | Good story , Chithra. I would suggest that you send this and also the earlier one, to Woman's Era. I am damn sure that they will publish them, they are very good and emotional stories with romance in them. Please do that Chithra, such stories are becoming rare. I really enjoyed reading the feelings of an innocent girl who had to part her first love on Valentine's Day. Very touching! |
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| | Dear Meeta, I will share my thoughts....on both points, separately. I do not agree with your first point. I do not think, anybody plans and falls in love with another. It just "happens" - that is what we call chemistry now ! They do not cheat the parents intentionally, but it is part of what happens. If the first love did not last long, it will be gradually forgotten leaving sweet memories behind.There will not be a clinging on to past meory, once the life pattern changes & you enter into a fresh chapter in your life.There need not be guilty feelings as well, because so many turns happen in your life & we have to bend & flow with them.It just becomes a past experience, over the years. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Dear Varloo, you are very....flattering in your nice words. Thankyou very much ! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Chith Yet another beautiful story from you. You have very clearly written the mindset of Kalpana. Connecting the love with the valentine's day adds the beauty. Keep writing. Love vidhi |
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| | Thankyou, Vidhi.I had already written this story & just gave an ending, connected with valentine day ! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Very beautiful story. However I dont agree with the pretext, But none the less beautiful story. My disagreement stems from their fear of not working out. A love which doesnot give strength to overcome all hurdles, is not pure and great. Thats convenient approach to life. Take whatever little pleasure and cheat everything from its originality. I personally feel both were coward enough not to materialise it. Such people dont get passionate life for the same reason. They dont put passion in achieving their dreams. They allow fear to drive their life. Hideous ways of getting convinient pleasure cannot be love, it is lack of strength in character. Pure love is liberating and non hideous. So I believe they experienced just infatuation. |
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| | Well Ria....you areentitled to your opinion, is all that I can say ! A love that happens in teens is more passionate than reasonable or practical. Atleast, that is what, I thought, when writing this !! Both were less mature than really mature, but their love was intense. Thanks for joining us here, Ria. Love, Chithra. |
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| | I agree. Teenage love is definitely pure and less aduletrated.. If it was teenage love. It does make total appeal to me. Thanks for clarifying it. Regards, Ria |
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| |  Dear Chitra Another beautiful story. Short but sweet a real love story. touching hands on valentine day and seperating........hmmmmmm reading that paragraph there was a current flowing into me here too......hehe |
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Recent Blog Entries by Chitvish
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