Taking for granted?Oh,no, taken for granted! :-(
Posted 31st August 2008 at 11:23 PM by Chitvish
We take people or things or situations for granted.
As many times, we are also taken for granted!
Taken for granted means what is self-evident or obvious, according to dictionary.
I personally feel, we take for granted what Mother Earth and nature provide us. Do we ever pause to think what would happen if there were no sun for a day?
Imagine how we can live without light, sunshine, water or air? I feel we owe a big thanks to the powers of nature. When we stop and bother to focus on things which are normally taken for granted, creativity in us surges!
We love to take our happiness and luck in various spheres for granted, often. Much of the unhappiness we feel in our lives can often be significantly reduced and sometimes even eliminated when we think about that which we take for granted and give some real appreciation for it. It is high time we give at least a thoughtful acknowledgement to our everyday life on this earth.
The thing unfortunately most often taken for granted is our own health and well being. Why does it take, finding out that somebody close to us has cancer or is having heart problems , get us to appreciate that we are still healthy? Even minor health problems can bring about an appreciation of our own well being.
Taking for granted happens in close relationships which have lasted for sometime. Sometimes being taken for granted can be a compliment and it means we have become a trusted, comfortable part in the other person’s life.
We also take for granted When something is available all the time. Accepting something is true without first thinking about it or making sure that it is true is also taking for granted!
Is not our eternal grievance “I am always taken for granted” ? We do not mind it if the person is close to us or one who loves us. But if we are taken for granted regularly without ever being acknowledged, we do feel hurt slightly. We do feel irritated if our friends, spouses, colleagues, siblings and not to forget our own children always take us for granted. I do not say that they must thank us on a regular basis, no. But an occasional appreciative word or gesture does undeniably make us very happy.
Generally people who work smart, not hard, get appreciated more than those who slog. They make a mark and are not taken for granted. Very often when we help others, we are taken for granted. It is better to make them realise that we are, in fact, obliging them and not helping them. I think, that is not wrong at all !
In any relationship, we have to keep on growing so that the other person will watch us and appreciate rather than accepting us as we are. We must keep on improving our self-image, without which our growth can be staggered.
Let us be nice, decent, soft-spoken and hard working, but at the same, in order not to be taken for granted let us be assertive, a little aggressive, growing and ready to move on.
Love,
Chithra.
As many times, we are also taken for granted!
Taken for granted means what is self-evident or obvious, according to dictionary.
I personally feel, we take for granted what Mother Earth and nature provide us. Do we ever pause to think what would happen if there were no sun for a day?
Imagine how we can live without light, sunshine, water or air? I feel we owe a big thanks to the powers of nature. When we stop and bother to focus on things which are normally taken for granted, creativity in us surges!
We love to take our happiness and luck in various spheres for granted, often. Much of the unhappiness we feel in our lives can often be significantly reduced and sometimes even eliminated when we think about that which we take for granted and give some real appreciation for it. It is high time we give at least a thoughtful acknowledgement to our everyday life on this earth.
The thing unfortunately most often taken for granted is our own health and well being. Why does it take, finding out that somebody close to us has cancer or is having heart problems , get us to appreciate that we are still healthy? Even minor health problems can bring about an appreciation of our own well being.
Taking for granted happens in close relationships which have lasted for sometime. Sometimes being taken for granted can be a compliment and it means we have become a trusted, comfortable part in the other person’s life.
We also take for granted When something is available all the time. Accepting something is true without first thinking about it or making sure that it is true is also taking for granted!
Is not our eternal grievance “I am always taken for granted” ? We do not mind it if the person is close to us or one who loves us. But if we are taken for granted regularly without ever being acknowledged, we do feel hurt slightly. We do feel irritated if our friends, spouses, colleagues, siblings and not to forget our own children always take us for granted. I do not say that they must thank us on a regular basis, no. But an occasional appreciative word or gesture does undeniably make us very happy.
Generally people who work smart, not hard, get appreciated more than those who slog. They make a mark and are not taken for granted. Very often when we help others, we are taken for granted. It is better to make them realise that we are, in fact, obliging them and not helping them. I think, that is not wrong at all !
In any relationship, we have to keep on growing so that the other person will watch us and appreciate rather than accepting us as we are. We must keep on improving our self-image, without which our growth can be staggered.
Let us be nice, decent, soft-spoken and hard working, but at the same, in order not to be taken for granted let us be assertive, a little aggressive, growing and ready to move on.
Love,
Chithra.
Total Comments 42
Comments
 |  Dear Mrs.Chith, Nicely 'chewed' the different areas where we and others have taken for granted ..points mentioned here are absolutely true... but the solution you had given at the end is 'digestable' which gives an answer to my thread,' how do you draw the line'.. sriniketan |
  |
| |  Dear Ma'am, Let me first take this wonderful lesson to take this morning as a blessing and not s granted and wish you a very good morning!!:)) Lovely blog Ma'am, as alllllllllllways!! Yes it is very sad that this "taken for granted " syndrome does jeopardise a lot of things inlife. Very often we expect people to understand our feelings without speaking, a sign of taken for granted . But tellling this , appreciating,. acknowledging the fact that we do welcome their efforts a small thankyou, sorry etc. makes a lot of difference. Ironically Ma'am in most of my counselling sessions, this word"taken for granted" takes the major part of the conversation. Whether it is for parents , siblings, friends or spouses , the major grievance is that,"We are not happy or we want to move out because we are taken for granted". Yes when we see the outside world we realise the wonderful things we have been blessed with health, loved ones, etc. that are generally overlooked since we take it for granted. I think simple efforts that show you care , for eg a small 3 letter statement like "I love you" to parents, spouse and kids makes one feel so wanted and helps in bonding well. That does not mean that if we do not say that means we do not love but when ears are one of the senses God has gifted us it ,so we crave to listen to good things . I guess if people start taking others for granted and appreciate each other more there would be so much of happiness beacause each will feel there is a special place for them in everyones heart becasue at the end of the day the place in the heart is so much more important than a place at home. Lovely blog Ma'am and as usual I have overutilised my space , but you come up with such interesting blogs that the fingers refuse to stop typing. Love, Your Mol |
| |
| |  Dear Chitvish, What a Blog!!!!!.... Great.... Early morning I was trying hard to compete with time... Now you made me to break it... I agree with you that most of the time we take things for granted... We pressume that it is the responsibility of the parents to take care of their kids, provide good food, clothing and shelter... we dont acknowledge the hard work / sacrifices of our parents... At the same time we take for granted that our kids will take care of us at our old age... Now let me not go into this topic.... What I wanted to convey is... it starts off from our home... It is in our culture... We dont develop the habit of saying thanks... so it is not getting into the kids and the next generation... I agree with you... in the work place it is more prevalent... People take us for granted... if we dont keep cribbing or expressing our displesure over the issues they will keep dumping more work and responsibilities and at the end you will be overloaded with more than what you can handle... But at times people tend to over do it... The famous prover... Azhara pillaikku than thayum pal koduppal... will very much apply... At the end of the day... We all look out for some appreciation or a pat on the back... Though monetary compensation helps people... the acknowledgement of somebody's hard work goes a long way... I was told camels meat is more hard to chew and takes time to digest... So, taking us or things for granted is real hard to chew and digest... Veda |
| |
| |  Dear Chithra, If we are meek and softspoken, people are taking it granted and indulge in miLagu arachufying on our head.We ourselves are to be blamed for this. I have this weakness, but can't control it. The more I try to be assertive, I fail in my attempt even with the servant. Love, PS |
| |
| |  Dearest Mami, Your post brings a whiff of fresh air for the begining of the week. It rejuvenates us. First, neega enna ashirvadham pannugo........ because today happens to be my star birthday. In my in laws place it is customary to celebrate the star birthday than DOB. And I had taken for granted my dh will remeber mine........ romba kanavu ennakku. But till yesterday evening everybody totally forgot........ I was wondering whether I am also forgotten in this place. Finally late in the evening when I went to the tailor to check for my new dress my dh asked me as to why I am behind the tailor always......  then suddenly out of the blue he asked when is my bd? Parungo kutha even my BD I should remind them? Romba kovam vandhudhu but finally thought to myself this person is like that only, we cannot change him.But nowadays I do assert myself even if iam extending any help. Before atleast in the family I used to offer my help even when they did not ask me. Then I realised that they have taken me for granted....... adhulerndhu koncham carefula irrukken. Eppadi irundhalum nalla peru kadayathu apparum en ippadi kashta padanum?  |
 |
| |  Dear Bhargavi, glad that "you first" this time! :-)I will read your blog now. What I hate is, being taken for granted if we are the soft-spoken type! We have no choice but to show our firmness, sometimes in our words or actions. But rarely do we execute it & take it for granted, to our disadvantage  I love you, Bhargavi!  Chith. |
| Updated 1st September 2008 at 04:06 AM by Chitvish |
| | Mole Dear, you make me feel wanted so much with your comments!You never take appreciating me for my choice of topic, for granted. I am not a prude to deny that I have started looking forward to your FBs. Let me share my thoughts, Mole. In our culture or call it, way of living, expressions are given less importance - I know not why. My spouse is not the type who would ever come out with the three magic words. I attribute it to the way he was brought up. Well, according to him, it is taken for granted, thats' all! But today's generation is more expressive, watching which, I wonder, if our generation's expectations soar up! Now, I have come to realise that verbal expressions do contribute in nurturing a realtionship instead of both the partners taking it for granted. I love you, Devika. Chithra. |
| Updated 1st September 2008 at 04:07 AM by Chitvish |
| | Welcome back, Veda, after a break!Just like we take for granted that it was the duty of our parents to bring us up, we do not keep quiet when it comes to our generation. I know some friends who give me staistics as to how much they sacrificed for their children, how much money, they spent on thier costly education etc. When the children take them for granted & do not even provide them, the minimum material comforts in old age, the parents do feel let down and complain that they were taken for granted. There is no answer for this. I think, expectation to a small extent without for ever (or for convenience?  )being taken for granted, is human nature. I love you, Veda Boy! Chithra. |
| |
| | PS, you are very correct!Vish is comparatively soft-spoken, whereas I am more firm with servants. Ultimately they take him for granted as a goody, goody man and I receive all brickbats.It was all these thoughts, that prompted me to blog on this!! I love you, PS. Chithra. |
| |
| | My blessings & best wishes, dear Lali!For Vish, it is birthdate! I never take it for granted & wish him & make a sweet! But, he always takes my birthday for granted & hardly ever remembers.I have accepted that he cannot be changed & no more bother about it! So you are not the "lonely" case - you have company in me!! I love you, Lali. Chithra. |
| |
| | Dear Chithra.. I agree with every word you say. Many times I have made the mistake of taking my parents for granted - in the sense - I was sooo sensitive that I always wished everything happened my way :( Now, entering into adult phase of life, I always think and feel bad about the past and I try to be less emotional now-a-days. Simple gestures like wishing on birthdays, marriage days etc go a long way towards building and mending relationships. But alas...in many families, it is not important to do this :(( We have to become a more open and outgoing society as a whole. Expression of love, care and appreciation is not sthg we are used to...and we blame it on 'our culture' !! Nothing wrong in celebrating Gokulashtami or Shri Rama Navami...but it is strange we 'forget' to wish parents / Son-In-Law / Daughter-In-Law /spouse / children / close family members on their birthdays !!! Thanks and love Pavithra |
| |
| |  Dear Chith Nice blog. What you have said is very true. we take somethings for granted and we are also taken for granted. It is a very odd feeling when you realise that you are taken for granted. If you ask me I am not a expressive type at all. But I know very well that it is not right. Realising it very often I try to focus on it and try to overcome it. But many times could not succeed as I wish. There are certain things like health if we take it for granted it will make us to realise it later. Love Vidhi |
| |
| |  Chithmam, wonderful topic as usualI suppose lot of people use taken for granted and taking for granted just like sorry and thanks. sometimes, I feel familiarity breeds the taking for granted attitude. the person who has a beach front house, will stop admiring the sun rise, as it becomes too familiar that he cannot take it, but if the same person, looks at it as a new beginning with a positive outlook that he has got one more bright day he will never take it for granted. when you take a person or even your family for granted (though people can argue, they are always there for me.), you stop putting that extra Effort to make them feel wanted and cherished, which makes them feel left out and ignored to the extent, they may not turn to you when they are in dire need of support as they feel you don't have any interest in them. As a person, you are taken for granted only when you allow somebody to take the liberty. being assertive, clear is the first step towards not being taken for granted. I feel we should never take our health, loved ones, luxuries for granted. Great blog. |
| |
| | Dear Pavi, whatever prompted me to writethis blog, are expressed by you!! Of all people, I think we take our parents, most, for granted. Not only that, we feel touchy if they express their displeasure about it even slightly! It is as though they are just doing their duty to us. Why can't we think, they are doing us a privilege by bringing us up with plenty of love, care and affection? It is high time, we are aware of all these aspects of life! I love you, Pavi. Chithra. |
| |
| | Vidhi, only when we are taken for granted, do werealise how it will be for those, whom we take for granted! We do not even bother to say, niceties like, Thankyou, sorry etc to our own family members. Why? Because we take them for granted!! But we will not do it in office or in relationships where we are very careful for our own benefit! Why this double thinking from us?? I love you, Vidhi. Chithra. |
| |
| | Dear Shan, you hit the nail on the head!Today, in my Gita class, my teacher was saying how Adithya Hrudayam is meant to be chanted every morning, without taking the Sun for granted. Now, that we have power cut everyday, we realise how much we have taken power supply for granted in our daily life!! The absence of a thing is what makes us realise, how we take simple things in life for granted. But we make a big "hullaboo" if somebody ignores us or overlooks us!! I love you,Shan Chithra. |
| |
| |  Chithumma, My dear Adharsha Mangai,With the striking beginning you half-finished the blog. Very recently I read in Vikatan we need robot trees in future to protect the environment. You made a beautiful connection of nature with our health. The acknowledgements in the form of a small appreciation or expression of love or any occasional helping hand, boosts the morale, for sure. I have already descibed to you about Appa as the man of no desires. He helps like anything and never expects reciprocation. Now that he is getting older and tired he needs some help and still doesn't realise. This is the topic I often discuss with Appa these days thinking that if he is OK with that why I should bother. But, I cannot see when he is taken for granted unnecessarily. I feel it is my duty to take care of him as he is not. I want to treasure him. When it exceeds the limit I remind Appa that it is time to watch. Wishing Mr. Vish and Lalli for their birthdays... Love, Your Picturesque. |
| |
| | Ms Picturesque, thanks from Vish for the wishes!When I recently saw a friend in ICU, gasping for breath inspite of ventilator, I shuddered & thought how we take, normal breathing, for granted. I can understand your anxiety about appa. In my younger days, as a new bride, I always felt upset that Vish, being the youngest of sons was always taken for granted.He never bothered, but I did!! We need to pause in life & thank God for blessings which we take for granted! I love you, Oviyame! Chithra. |
| |
| |  Sounds Familier!Namaste Chithraji, Happy Hartalika & Ganesh Chaturti! Please wish Vishji a very happy birthday. Your blog sounds familiar. It is the story of my life. I am of a firm opinion all males named after Lord Shiva are "Bholenaths" (e.g. Vishji & my Hubby). Yours truly is the Chandika of the house. I sit quietly in a corner with my fave book & guess who gets the blame for everything? Me! Hubby is the younger son & yes, it used to irritate the daylights out of me when we were taken for granted in India. Things have now changed, with us in Oz, they now realise his worth. I agree with you, when you say that we cannot allow ourselves to be taken for granted. In fact we can take a learn a lot from our goddesses who refuse to be taken for granted. A simple reading to Shri Lalita Sahasranams shows the way. SHE stood up for her rights & so should we! Regards, Corallux |
| Updated 1st September 2008 at 07:20 PM by corallux |
| | Dear Lux, you start with a "stream" of wishes!!Thanks, thanks & thanks. I think, in Indian society, the youngsters are taken for granted, right? My experience made me think over it & I never take my children for granted before taking any decision. I want them to feel important and they are also happy. Believe me, I am not joking, the person who receives the most respect from me is my DIL. Even my son may not bother if I take him for granted. but I will be more careful with his wife!!I take every effort to cherish all relationships from my end. I love you, Lux Babes! Chithra. |
| |
Recent Blog Entries by Chitvish
- Dying only to be reborn ! (30th November 2008)
- Is only the wife resposible for maintaining the family balance? (23rd November 2008)
- Arati's magic! (16th November 2008)
- A friend can be a soulmate too! (9th November 2008)
- Sweeter life through compromise ! (2nd November 2008)
