Resist ? No, accept !
Posted 3rd August 2008 at 11:27 PM by Chitvish
In life, very often, we are not able to accept
things which are unfavourable to us
or
if any unexpected event takes place.
This is a main source of sorrow and tension in our day to day life.
Suppose we failed in an endeavour, we repeatedly tell ourselves:
I had never expected it; I worked so hard, still I failed.
If somebody close to us cheats us, we lament:
I did so much for that person, still I was cheated.
We learn only from mistakes. Our biggest successes evolve only through our failures.
We must be ready to learn lessons from our failures and not forever resist them.
We have to choicelessly put our worry aside and just live. How do we do it?
Friends, let us learn to accept that the key to our mental peace or happiness is changing resistance to acceptance. People are good as well as bad. So, we cannot always hope only for good things to happen.
By resisting the unpleasant truth, we are neither helping the thing nor ourselves. It is not going to change because of our attitude. Ultimately our mind becomes negatively charged and our mental health is affected. Our spiritual growth comes to a standstill.
We are not able to let it go from our mind and continuously think of it.
The right approach is not to see it with eyes of hatred but to accept it, first of all. Then we must ponder over the causes which brought this state. If it is something that cannot be changed, we have no choice, but to accept it. When we can’t do anything to change things, we must train our mind to change our reaction or response towards that thing.
Let us learn to affirm in mind:
I will accept everything in life, no matter what happens, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. I realise that anything can happen in life!
Love,
Chithra.
things which are unfavourable to us
or
if any unexpected event takes place.
This is a main source of sorrow and tension in our day to day life.
Suppose we failed in an endeavour, we repeatedly tell ourselves:
I had never expected it; I worked so hard, still I failed.
If somebody close to us cheats us, we lament:
I did so much for that person, still I was cheated.
We learn only from mistakes. Our biggest successes evolve only through our failures.
We must be ready to learn lessons from our failures and not forever resist them.
We have to choicelessly put our worry aside and just live. How do we do it?
Friends, let us learn to accept that the key to our mental peace or happiness is changing resistance to acceptance. People are good as well as bad. So, we cannot always hope only for good things to happen.
By resisting the unpleasant truth, we are neither helping the thing nor ourselves. It is not going to change because of our attitude. Ultimately our mind becomes negatively charged and our mental health is affected. Our spiritual growth comes to a standstill.
We are not able to let it go from our mind and continuously think of it.
The right approach is not to see it with eyes of hatred but to accept it, first of all. Then we must ponder over the causes which brought this state. If it is something that cannot be changed, we have no choice, but to accept it. When we can’t do anything to change things, we must train our mind to change our reaction or response towards that thing.
Let us learn to affirm in mind:
I will accept everything in life, no matter what happens, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. I realise that anything can happen in life!
Love,
Chithra.
Total Comments 43
Comments
 |  Dear Mami, a good thought provoking blog from you. We can always hope only for the good..strive for the best. But in case, the outcome is not as expected, as you mentioned, we must accept it...as something to learn from. Everything happens for a reason...we must understand that the success is just postponed for now..we should try to achieve it the next time around... We must never allow the negative feelings to grow in us..It will start crowding out the positive feelings in us and eventually we are at the losing end...So lets accept everything thing as a lesson and work towards success...Lets keep the hope  |
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| |  Chithra, My dear Adharsha Mangai, Beautifully written....Felt like travelling in a boat house enjoying the breeze, closing the eyes, listening to a melody.... Yes. Life is full of trials and errors. As long as we expect only the unexpected, we are totally ready to face any situation. Just want to share something I read. It is originally from a Chinese poem. The translation says, 'Be like water. Though, it reacts for any changes, like for a small stone thrown in, it gets back to the normal form in no minutes'. |
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| |  Dear Chitra Mam, A wonderful blog with words of wisdom deliciously served that i had it in one gulp!How true we always try to change the situation instead of conditioning ourselves to the situation.We weave a web of preconceived notion & love to live in it.Panic strikes when things dont work our way.We try to change everything except ourselves.The change that is required is Accepting instead of Expecting. love, ammu |
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| |  Dear Saras, yours is not a feedback... but is a supplement post of what I have written.This is a life lesson, I have learnt over years and wanted to share it with you all! Thanks for leading the FBs, Saras. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Dear picturesque friend, your words are as picturesque as your name - only to be expected!! Accept people as they are, accept situations as they arise - it is not in our hands to change them.Accepting them is choiceless, but over time, we learn a lesson! Love, Chithra. |
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| | Dear Ammu, your words are even better than mine! First we expect - then if it comes against expectations, we resist.When we realise it cannot be changed, we accept happily or more often otherwise! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  My dear chitra, A nice thought pvoking blog.Yes,what can not be cured has to be endured.We have to accept life as it comes.But do we have the srength to do it all the time?Sometimes our emotions take over and one reacts to anger,disappointment,hatred in a strong manner,which is also negative in a way.But we are all human beings. But as yu rightly said,we can try and train our mind to accept the ineviitable and get on with life. Ultimately our mind becomes negatively charged and our mental [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important]health[/color][/color] is affected. Our spiritual growth comes to a standstill. We are not able to let it go from our mind and continuously think of it. If not for others atleast for the sake of our own mntal welfare,I think we should fill our mindas with positive thoughts and have positive waves around us. love mithila kannan This happens all the time killing our energy and our happiness.Atleast for our own sake we should try and fill ourselves with positive thoughts and waves. lve mithila kannan TT This happens think of it This happens all the time when we reat to negative words or happenings and ponder over it all the time.It kills our energy,the creative enegy our happiness |
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| | Dear Mithila, acceptance comes only by experience, practice choicelessly, I would add.But very often our resistance makes us frustrated and depressed.If there is no way some things can be changed, leave alone some people, what else do we do at all, tell me? Yes, we do it more to create positive energy around us! We have to be a person whom others can tolerate!! Love, Chithra. |
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| | Dear Chithra... Monday morning-kku etha post :) Once we accept situations, we are more at peace to think objectively. When our minds are focussed on resisting / avoiding situations, there is a lot of mental turmoil. It is like attending a family wedding. One knows that there will be famil politics and backbiting. But does it mean, one has to cut off from family and not attend any events? No ! One should still attend and always remember the true purpose why we are there ! At the end of the day, if the number of happy moments is more than the number of sad moments in any given period, one should be satisfied. Thats all :) Thanks for a lovely post. Love and regards Pavithra |
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| |  Dear Ma'am , . Lovely topic Ma'am. Your posts are more of educative things bringing one closer to themselves like a moral science class. I agree that we must condition our mind to accept things in life . Like the signature line of mine. We must have the serenity to accept the things we cannot change , the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference. Generally the problems begin when there is an avoidance avoidance conflict. Human minds cannot accept certain changes and we avoid facing reality, just to avoid the fact that reality is depressing we live in a world of imaginative acceptance, that can be very detrimental for our mental well being. Criticism is often counted as non acceptance, but then if we take criticism positively I guess it helps us in self development. I think the moment we are ready to face changes and chances of ignorance , we are ready for growth , because this growth helps us to see things in its right perspective. Overcoming negative vibes, trauma, etc. is easier when the avoidance avoidance conflict can give rise to approach avoidance strategy. Approach the issue that you have been avoiding with an open mind knowing fully well that the end result may not neccessary be what we wish for but what we can tackle. Resisting can only succeed in building up stress which leads to an explosion later that may not be remedial. When I think of knowledge I think it is very iomportant to impart these worldly knowledge so that it helps in dealing with life better. Though it is difficult to implement but I feel expectations when not met deals to the feeling of animosity and harnessesing such negativities doesnt kill the stimulus but the responder, that is us. So it is better not to inflict mental wounds on us, to steer clear from situations that hamper growth and peace within us. The primary education should be facing people , facing situations in life Lovely blog Ma'am. This truly is a facet of life to ponder on. Love, Your Mol |
| Updated 4th August 2008 at 08:16 AM by Devika Menon |
| | Dear Pavi, knowing that some situations cannot be avoided, we still like to think of means of resisting them. That is the cause of mental turmoil, sadly. Yes, when we attend a wedding, we must take it more as an opportunity to dress in all our finery, socialise, meet friends and relatives, have nice food and get back home!! Period. Even if there are hundred happy moments, we "love" to brood over the one sad moment asking ourselves "why? why?" Thanks, Pavi. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Dear, dear Mole, believe me, repeatedly pondering over your signature line is the "story" behind this blog. So, this blog is dedicated to you, Mole! Avoiding reality? Sure, we do it all the time, not mustering enough courage to face, whatever, be the consequence.We love to live in an imaginative world & reality brings us down with a "thud" ! You have written so beautifully, as only you can! Your FB is much more relevant than my blog & believe me, I don't resist but accept that you are too good with your thought process in the "growing" direction! Love, Chithra. |
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| | Maam Indeed one must accept situations without losing ones cool. When i used to be in Sales I used to tell myself that each defeat is a plus point for me that i put in a piggy bank for future use ! Once i collect enough points success is guaranteed ! I think each time we overcome our own weaknesses and control ourselves and accept whatever happens to us without losing our temper or cool we are building equity and goodwill that will propell us towards the future and towards success Santosh |
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| | Welcome to my blog, Santosh! I loved your piggy bank idea! Yes, we learn only by mistakes and each teaches us a valuable lesson in life.I would even say, they process our growth.If acceptance of people, situations etc comes, life becomes a happy journey! Not only that, accepting yourself is everything - once you accept yourself, you can accept the world! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Chith , A very nice blog - as usual ! Quote:
" By resisting the unpleasant truth, we are neither helping the thing nor ourselves. It is not going to change because of our attitude. Ultimately our mind becomes negatively charged and our mental health is affected. Our spiritual growth comes to a standstill. We are not able to let it go from our mind and continuously think of it." Love , Indhu . |
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| | Indhu,you have pleasantly surprised me, posting here! We love to brood but refuse to accept. In the heart of our hearts we know only acceptance is the choiceless result, but love to resist to the extent possible! Vagaries of human nature??!! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  dear Mrs.Chith, What you had written is the absolute truth... If we train our mind as such no tensions, no expectations, etc. I am now realising that how my failures had taught me which I should not repeat it, if it happens again. accept what is not in your control..has been advice to my children too, when they brood over things.. sriniketan |
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| | Lovely blog. We follow....hope for the best in life but be prepared for the worst. Beleive me, this has helped us to take the ups and downs in our stride. Though spur of the moment we may feel low but the very next moment we are able to come out of it and try to see what best would be the outcome of that failure. WE for get that failures are the concrete stepping stones to success. If we taste failures we will be able to enjoy success more. |
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| | Dear Bhargavi, training the mind is an art in which I have been still unsuccessful in! I wait for an email or aphone call knowing that it is not going to come. I wait, get irritated & then accept! Why do I wait for it at all instead of resisting the fact that it will not come or will come late? This change from resistance to acceptance is an art to be developed! Love, Chithra. |
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| | Roopa, your words are very true! But human beings that we are, we still want only things favourable to us, to happen! Though we know that we have a long way to go, we still believe as if we are perfect and want only success to chase us in every endeavour!! Love, Chithra. |
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