Arati's magic!
Posted 16th November 2008 at 09:04 PM by Chitvish
Mukund could not but marvel at his dear wife. It is just a matter of two years and in such a short time, his mother wants Arati to endorse whatever domestic decision she is planning to take! Oh, what a change in Amma, he wondered!!
Mukund had always been a “mama’s boy”, as the world says. He was aware of it, to his own embarrassment, but could not come out of it ! After marrying Arati also, he was never a demonstrative husband if his mother was around. Arati could easily make out that he was more scared of his mother thinking that he loved Arati more than her. He would not even bother to enquire Arati if she had her meal on time or any such simple enquiry, if his mother was around! She clearly knew that Mukund feared his mother more than he ever bothered to please Arati. Besides that her mother in law forever used to repeat that Mukund liked this, liked that… it was an endless list, some of which even surprised her. Arati even thought that Mukund liked certain things more to please his mother.
This did irritate, rather suffocate her, but she decided that she will plan a strategy and win over her mother in law, with nothing but love and concern.
She did some logical thinking, setting aside her emotional thinking. She knew that her mother in law was full of love for her son and had nothing against his wife. When she was capable of such deep love for her son, it only proved to Arati that she is a very loving and affectionate person by nature. Blood is said to be thicker than water – this cannot be denied, thought Arati. She clearly understood that the old lady was more insecure about her son, once he got married. She decided to prove to her mother in law, that she was also equally prepared to respect and love her and was no threat or rival to her. She wanted her MIL to realise that Arati was fond of her also.
Her plan did work.
Once Mukund left for office, she would start chatting with her MIL, all about her college days, her life so far, her friends etc. She almost dragged her MIL into light, harmless chatting. Her MIL was equally responsive, sharing with Arati, her life in younger days, her struggles in life and such conversation! The two started getting close to Mukund’s own surprise.
Arati made it a point to express her deep concern when her MIL was unwell, getting her gifts for all functions and most by spending time with her.
She learnt by her own experience that
“people are like mirrors. They reflect back, what is shown to them”.
She gave her MIL, nothing but unconditional love. Her MIL started asking Arati for her opinion on every domestic matter besides, using her as a channel, to ask Mukund for some favours, which he may not approve normally.
A candle melts when it burns; but ultimately that becomes a crown to the candle !
Arati's stature grew to dizzy heights in her house!
Love,
Chithra.
Mukund had always been a “mama’s boy”, as the world says. He was aware of it, to his own embarrassment, but could not come out of it ! After marrying Arati also, he was never a demonstrative husband if his mother was around. Arati could easily make out that he was more scared of his mother thinking that he loved Arati more than her. He would not even bother to enquire Arati if she had her meal on time or any such simple enquiry, if his mother was around! She clearly knew that Mukund feared his mother more than he ever bothered to please Arati. Besides that her mother in law forever used to repeat that Mukund liked this, liked that… it was an endless list, some of which even surprised her. Arati even thought that Mukund liked certain things more to please his mother.
This did irritate, rather suffocate her, but she decided that she will plan a strategy and win over her mother in law, with nothing but love and concern.
She did some logical thinking, setting aside her emotional thinking. She knew that her mother in law was full of love for her son and had nothing against his wife. When she was capable of such deep love for her son, it only proved to Arati that she is a very loving and affectionate person by nature. Blood is said to be thicker than water – this cannot be denied, thought Arati. She clearly understood that the old lady was more insecure about her son, once he got married. She decided to prove to her mother in law, that she was also equally prepared to respect and love her and was no threat or rival to her. She wanted her MIL to realise that Arati was fond of her also.
Her plan did work.
Once Mukund left for office, she would start chatting with her MIL, all about her college days, her life so far, her friends etc. She almost dragged her MIL into light, harmless chatting. Her MIL was equally responsive, sharing with Arati, her life in younger days, her struggles in life and such conversation! The two started getting close to Mukund’s own surprise.
Arati made it a point to express her deep concern when her MIL was unwell, getting her gifts for all functions and most by spending time with her.
She learnt by her own experience that
“people are like mirrors. They reflect back, what is shown to them”.
She gave her MIL, nothing but unconditional love. Her MIL started asking Arati for her opinion on every domestic matter besides, using her as a channel, to ask Mukund for some favours, which he may not approve normally.
A candle melts when it burns; but ultimately that becomes a crown to the candle !
Arati's stature grew to dizzy heights in her house!
Love,
Chithra.
Total Comments 39
Comments
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Dear Chithu.
That is a lesson for so many which is leraned the hard way and Arati knew tha way to her MIL's heart. Whether it is your MIL or mom you treat them with the respct that you love to be given.
“people are like mirrors. They reflect back, what is shown to them”.
“people are like mirrors. They reflect back, what is shown to them”.
Loved these lines and the story is a sure eye-opener.
Posted 16th November 2008 at 09:48 PM by Jananikrithsan
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Chithmam,
I just could not resist coming and telling that it is as if you peeped into my and mil's relationship. i learnt it the same way.
I learnt to say your son instead of my husband..this line sums up about how i went about getting to that place....
It went to the point where she left most decisions to me.
I definitely vouch for the statement of people being mirrors and you reflect what you see....
wish people learn to weave the magic which is simple though it gives the illusion of being very difficult....Posted 16th November 2008 at 10:37 PM by Shanvy
Updated 16th November 2008 at 10:37 PM by Shanvy - Dear Chithu mam,
You have drawn a simple sketch with words which depicts the solution to a big problem. It shows the importance of thinking logically when we are emotional.
We can argue that it is not right on the husband's part to put on a different face in front of his mother, but it is always wiser to maintain peace at home and live together as a happy family. The "give and take" principle does work in love and let us not hesitate to be the one to "give" unconditionally.
Congrats on your GD's engagement and my prayers and wishes too.
With lots of love
InduPosted 16th November 2008 at 11:16 PM by Indulekha -
Dear Ma'am,
Great blog!!
Ironically most homes prepare their women for the threat of the dil and mil even before they try to form a bond.
I guess the dil and mil relation can be as beautiful as the mother daughter relation, one in which you are more a part of the family than the daughter was ,since the daughter goes away post marriage, while the dil is here to stay for the rest of her life.
Here I always feel that it is always necessary for the dil to be more accomadating, since it is better for one member of the family to adjust to customs than expect an entire household to change.
The fear factor sowed deep in the minds of these young girls act as the detriment in forming a congenial atmosphere. Ofcourse a lot of understanding needs to be there and the acceptance of the young bride with all her plusses and minusses, will help her get over her fears.
Well I guess here though I digress , the same goes for son in law and fil. In most homes I have seen the young dashing sil loves to show his superiority and the fil loves to hold his place as the head of the family, thus creating a 'whos bigger' conflict.
I still feel that all said and done this always begins with a love hate relation with the hate giving way to a lot of love over the years.
Just dont play the superiority and the all rights reserved game and experience a fantastic bonding.
Great blog Ma'am. Have a great week!!
Love,
Your molPosted 16th November 2008 at 11:21 PM by Devika Menon -
Dear Mami,
An eye opener for begining of the week. What you say is absolutely perfect.... but when outside forces try to destabilise the relationship it becomes all the more difficult.
For any relationship to survive it needs open frank talk without any inhibitions. It is required from both the parties. When one party does not co-operate then there is no relationship there. My only question is why can't the MIL accept DIL as she is... she is born of a different family, brought up differently then how can they expect to change overnite? They should be open enough to give them that space and can't expect the son not to listen to his wife even after a marriage of 15 yrs.
When the soninlaw listens to his wife (i.e. their daughter) then the dd is tooo smart but if the son listens to DIL, hell breaks loose... why is this double standard? These kind of things brings a slow change in the DIL's behaviour too.... When the DIL fals sick no problem she can manage but if the dd falls sick then all the cushioning starts... why is this indifference?
Mami sorry to ask so many questions, I am not saying that all MIL's are bad but they should also come out of the grove and expand their heart too.Posted 17th November 2008 at 01:03 AM by Lalitha Shivaguru
