An encounter!
This was narrated to me by a friend Kamini years back. I am just reproducing the same, but with fictitious names:
“I have a cousin, Vani, 5 years younger to me. She was very good looking, but not very smart, though still reasonably smart. I attended her wedding in Coimbatore and lent a helping to my uncle’s family. My cousin’s husband Navin specially mentioned to me that he owed me a big thanks for the very well conducted wedding. I was very happy to receive praise from a new entrant to our family.
Vani and Navin left for Delhi, where he was very well employed.
Every year they used to break journey in Chennai and spend 2-3 days with me, on their way to Coimbatore and also when going back to Delhi.
Navin was a very handsome and smart young man and had a great sense of humour. He had dreamy eyes and looked like a North Indian filmstar. Vani was justifiably proud of her spouse. Every time they stayed with us in Chennai, we used to have a very enjoyable time, going out a lot, to beach, restaurants and movies.
Vani gave birth to two lovely children. She used to tell me that her husband admired me a lot, as a home maker and always used to ask her to emulate me in runnig a family, cooking etc. She took it all in the proper perspective, since she didi'nt find anything wrong in what he said. The next trip, they came they came down south to visit Tirupati. They all went & came back. But that trip, I noticed a change in Navin’s behaviour towards me. Whenever a chance arose, he started staring at me instead of just looking at me.
A woman can intuitively make out from the look of a man whether his intentions are honourable or otherwise. When I noticed that he was showing a special interest in me, I was surprised and made a mild mention about it to my husband. But he teased me saying that it was a figment of my imagination. So I just left it at that. I did not mention this to Vani because I knew how mush she doted on her husband. Next day they were all planning to go and spend the day in a relative's house. When they all got ready, Navin suddenly feigned some illness & mentioned that he preferred to " take rest " at home. So Vani told me " I am sure you will look after him well and he always adores you. So I can go out peacefully & come." I had to say yes.
After they left, the drama began.
My husband had left for office and the children to school. The maid had also gone. So, just we two were there. He asked me if I could guess, what he had prayed for at Tirupati, the previous day. I said " no". Then he said that he went to Tirupati all the way, just to pray to the Lord that " I must have Kamini entirely for myself atleast for one day " ! You have to believe when I say that I did not understand what he was conveying to me. I just stared vaguely, I suppose. Then he went on and on, that whenever he was making love to his wife, he was fantasising it was me, in her place and used to enjoy himself immensely. These words literally sent a chill down my spine. I started sensing danger ! He said that he was getting pleasure from her no more and he wanted the real me. He said he had planned the entire trip in such a way that he could have me, all for himself one full day ! I was too dazed by then and just told him " no". Words would not come out of my mouth, shocked that I was. He said, “once if I have you with me as mine, I will spend my whole life with that memory. Both of us will keep it a secret & never let it out to anybody. When I die someday, I will not have my wish of having you as mine, unfulfilled. I promise you, we both will be just perfect for eachother & this will be the most cherished day of both our lives."
By that time I had started thinking of how best to wriggle out of the situation. If I used strong words to him, I was scared that he may tilt the story against me. He was going on glorifying me and how he had set his eyes on me the first time he saw me as his wife's cousin. All this time, I was planning in my mind how to escape before he applied any physical pressure on me. Just then the phone rang and I picked it up. One of my mother's friends was calling me just to say a hello. It was a God-sent chance, I thought! I softly told her that I was in deep trouble and wanted to go over to her house & requested her to send the car. He did not know, to whom and what I talked. Since I was sure to leave shortly, I just sat through. I tell you , what he talked was a real ego-boost trip for me. Unless a person is strong willed such statements coming from a very handsome man of his stature and position are sure to bowl over any woman. As he was continuing and started approaching me physically, the bell rang and the car arrived. I just told him, I am leaving and vanished. I came back home only after the children came back from school. I had to tell my mother's friend about this briefly & extracted a promise that she will not breathe about this to anybody – now she is dead & gone.
That evening after I returned home, he sneaked a moment & told me that this smartness and presence of mind on my part was what attracted me to him. He said he had made his intentions clear to me and told me " I literally beg you to allow me to have you fully for one day . Thereafter let us part ways."
The next day they left Chennai.
The saddest part is, after this incident , in a few months he fell sick. They took him to Vellore & he was diagnosed as having some congenital heart problem, which had manifested itself completely and his end was imminent. My cousin repeatedly requested me to come and see him as " her husband always held me in high regard" and also was asking for me repeatedly. But, let me tell you, I was literally scared to go and see him – he could have reacted in 2 different ways. One was to ask me to pardon him and forget what happened between us.
The other freak possibility which I feared most was, suppose he said " Just hold me in your arms in my sick bed and I will die a happy man" . So I decided against visiting him in the hospital – luckily my sister's marriage was just in the process of getting fixed & I could give that as an excuse. Shortly he died and I went for condolence. His wife, poor innocent girl went on telling me how much Navin adored me always as a typical epitome of womanhood etc !
I have not breathed a word about this to ANYBODY. Now that he is dead and gone, I feel bad if anybody should talk ill of him.
Now, tell me, how did this happen ? Did I provoke him in anyway unknowingly ? What made such an attractive, well qualified, well placed man fall for a plain jane like me ?
How many women, do you think can resist such temptations which literally fall on one's lap ? Assuming, I had said yes to him and allowed him to " have me" for a day, would it have been possible for me to get over that guilt feeling ? It was God's Grace that before he could use physical force on me ( it is very unlikely as well, since he repeatedly insisted he will not touch me without my permission ), my mother's friend called and I could leave. How does a woman manage such situations at all without a third person coming to know about it & also without spoiling the names of both persons involved.? Perhaps some women yield since they cannot handle these situations & " be done with it" may solve the problem.
Nowadays this is fashionably called " a fling " or " a one night stand ".
I feel very sad & sorry for him, poor fellow. He set his eyes on a wrong person.
But why did this happen to me ? What was there in me, which attracted me to him ? It is still a mystery to me except the fact that I am first & foremost a woman which is enough to attract any man, perhaps.“
Friends, that I was shocked when my friend finished her narration, is an under estimation! It is with her permission, that I write about this here.
Love,
Chithra.
“I have a cousin, Vani, 5 years younger to me. She was very good looking, but not very smart, though still reasonably smart. I attended her wedding in Coimbatore and lent a helping to my uncle’s family. My cousin’s husband Navin specially mentioned to me that he owed me a big thanks for the very well conducted wedding. I was very happy to receive praise from a new entrant to our family.
Vani and Navin left for Delhi, where he was very well employed.
Every year they used to break journey in Chennai and spend 2-3 days with me, on their way to Coimbatore and also when going back to Delhi.
Navin was a very handsome and smart young man and had a great sense of humour. He had dreamy eyes and looked like a North Indian filmstar. Vani was justifiably proud of her spouse. Every time they stayed with us in Chennai, we used to have a very enjoyable time, going out a lot, to beach, restaurants and movies.
Vani gave birth to two lovely children. She used to tell me that her husband admired me a lot, as a home maker and always used to ask her to emulate me in runnig a family, cooking etc. She took it all in the proper perspective, since she didi'nt find anything wrong in what he said. The next trip, they came they came down south to visit Tirupati. They all went & came back. But that trip, I noticed a change in Navin’s behaviour towards me. Whenever a chance arose, he started staring at me instead of just looking at me.
A woman can intuitively make out from the look of a man whether his intentions are honourable or otherwise. When I noticed that he was showing a special interest in me, I was surprised and made a mild mention about it to my husband. But he teased me saying that it was a figment of my imagination. So I just left it at that. I did not mention this to Vani because I knew how mush she doted on her husband. Next day they were all planning to go and spend the day in a relative's house. When they all got ready, Navin suddenly feigned some illness & mentioned that he preferred to " take rest " at home. So Vani told me " I am sure you will look after him well and he always adores you. So I can go out peacefully & come." I had to say yes.
After they left, the drama began.
My husband had left for office and the children to school. The maid had also gone. So, just we two were there. He asked me if I could guess, what he had prayed for at Tirupati, the previous day. I said " no". Then he said that he went to Tirupati all the way, just to pray to the Lord that " I must have Kamini entirely for myself atleast for one day " ! You have to believe when I say that I did not understand what he was conveying to me. I just stared vaguely, I suppose. Then he went on and on, that whenever he was making love to his wife, he was fantasising it was me, in her place and used to enjoy himself immensely. These words literally sent a chill down my spine. I started sensing danger ! He said that he was getting pleasure from her no more and he wanted the real me. He said he had planned the entire trip in such a way that he could have me, all for himself one full day ! I was too dazed by then and just told him " no". Words would not come out of my mouth, shocked that I was. He said, “once if I have you with me as mine, I will spend my whole life with that memory. Both of us will keep it a secret & never let it out to anybody. When I die someday, I will not have my wish of having you as mine, unfulfilled. I promise you, we both will be just perfect for eachother & this will be the most cherished day of both our lives."
By that time I had started thinking of how best to wriggle out of the situation. If I used strong words to him, I was scared that he may tilt the story against me. He was going on glorifying me and how he had set his eyes on me the first time he saw me as his wife's cousin. All this time, I was planning in my mind how to escape before he applied any physical pressure on me. Just then the phone rang and I picked it up. One of my mother's friends was calling me just to say a hello. It was a God-sent chance, I thought! I softly told her that I was in deep trouble and wanted to go over to her house & requested her to send the car. He did not know, to whom and what I talked. Since I was sure to leave shortly, I just sat through. I tell you , what he talked was a real ego-boost trip for me. Unless a person is strong willed such statements coming from a very handsome man of his stature and position are sure to bowl over any woman. As he was continuing and started approaching me physically, the bell rang and the car arrived. I just told him, I am leaving and vanished. I came back home only after the children came back from school. I had to tell my mother's friend about this briefly & extracted a promise that she will not breathe about this to anybody – now she is dead & gone.
That evening after I returned home, he sneaked a moment & told me that this smartness and presence of mind on my part was what attracted me to him. He said he had made his intentions clear to me and told me " I literally beg you to allow me to have you fully for one day . Thereafter let us part ways."
The next day they left Chennai.
The saddest part is, after this incident , in a few months he fell sick. They took him to Vellore & he was diagnosed as having some congenital heart problem, which had manifested itself completely and his end was imminent. My cousin repeatedly requested me to come and see him as " her husband always held me in high regard" and also was asking for me repeatedly. But, let me tell you, I was literally scared to go and see him – he could have reacted in 2 different ways. One was to ask me to pardon him and forget what happened between us.
The other freak possibility which I feared most was, suppose he said " Just hold me in your arms in my sick bed and I will die a happy man" . So I decided against visiting him in the hospital – luckily my sister's marriage was just in the process of getting fixed & I could give that as an excuse. Shortly he died and I went for condolence. His wife, poor innocent girl went on telling me how much Navin adored me always as a typical epitome of womanhood etc !
I have not breathed a word about this to ANYBODY. Now that he is dead and gone, I feel bad if anybody should talk ill of him.
Now, tell me, how did this happen ? Did I provoke him in anyway unknowingly ? What made such an attractive, well qualified, well placed man fall for a plain jane like me ?
How many women, do you think can resist such temptations which literally fall on one's lap ? Assuming, I had said yes to him and allowed him to " have me" for a day, would it have been possible for me to get over that guilt feeling ? It was God's Grace that before he could use physical force on me ( it is very unlikely as well, since he repeatedly insisted he will not touch me without my permission ), my mother's friend called and I could leave. How does a woman manage such situations at all without a third person coming to know about it & also without spoiling the names of both persons involved.? Perhaps some women yield since they cannot handle these situations & " be done with it" may solve the problem.
Nowadays this is fashionably called " a fling " or " a one night stand ".
I feel very sad & sorry for him, poor fellow. He set his eyes on a wrong person.
But why did this happen to me ? What was there in me, which attracted me to him ? It is still a mystery to me except the fact that I am first & foremost a woman which is enough to attract any man, perhaps.“
Friends, that I was shocked when my friend finished her narration, is an under estimation! It is with her permission, that I write about this here.
Love,
Chithra.
Total Comments 28
Comments
 |  Dear Chithra Ma'am, What an incident!! Unheard of?? No not at all.Its actually happening all over.I really do not know the exact reason why but many things do contribute. In this particular incident I really do not see any fault of your friend. Even the fact that whats appealing to one may not essentially appeal to another. Guess her perfection in whatever she did appealed to him . Initially the first signs of infidelity was usually evident after probably a few years , now its just a matter of days before it begins or is already existent alongside.Its a sad state a sorry state. Its sheer willpower on the part of your friend not to succumb to his moves. Not many can do it. Some are often targetted at a very vulnerable situation. Love, Devika Mol |
  Updated 25th May 2008 at 10:15 PM by Devika Menon |
| | chithra................ this is somthin which ld be read by all ladies,one may go thru such situation atleast once in alife time.see how well ur friend managed it.i appreciate her precence of mind,if it was me i would have fainted with fear.or i would have made a scene cryin and shoutin at that man.good u told us how to deal with life in a mature way |
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| |  Ende Priyappatta Mole! This equation must be going on eternally from the day, the institution of marriage was created.I read recently in a survey that 50% indulge in EMA. So probably, Navin thought that it may mean nothing more than a casual incident to both parties.I know of some housewives who are not very much bothered about such incidents & "take it in their stride" ! I strongly agree with you that it was sheer willpowerof Kamini, that prevented her from going ahead. Thanks for your first FB. Love Chithra. |
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| | Dear Gishashyjith, thanks for reading my blog. There are some times when the woman cannot afford to be just emotional and start getting afraid. She has to put her commonsense to the best use at such times, without revealing her fear to the other party. Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Mami, What a piece !!!!!!! Though your friend is not at all fault but the opposites always attract. In our workplace, in the bus, in the crowd everybody wants to feel a lady however she may be.Sometimes our thoughts and body language are totally misconstrued and misunderstood. How many incidents has come to light of office sexual harrassment. I know one of my friend who had leave her well paid job just becuase of this. Everybody cannot afford to leave the job also. This Navin was also a gentleman though he liked Kamini a lot but he never touched her without her permission. How many men are like this? They just wait to pounce on the girls as if a lion is hunting a dear. Some times this one time stand goes for the secon, third and sooner it will become a torrid affair. Now a days in Blr it is common to see in newspapers about software techies having extra marital affairs and the husband comes to know and kills the wife. It is high time men awoke to their responsibilities and behave in a more matured way. |
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| | You are right, Lalitha. there is an....invisible(?) element of attraction, rather inevitable, between both the sexes. It is upto the individual to act rightly. Yes, I too feel Navin was too much of a gentleman to approach Kamini without her permission & she was saved! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dear Superwoman Was really feeling sorry for this friend of yours. It is God that have saved her from this situation, I think at the right time the call came to her. There are a few woman who have gone through such a situation. But it is very difficult for them to speak out, and they can only talk to those whom they trust. I too have a friend who has faced such a situation, but it is a bit different, It was before marriage, it was her own mama's son who was behind her, he had given her something in her drinks and she was unconsious but not fully and this freak molested her and she hated this guy like hell and this poor girl couldn't tell this to anyone being a very good friend had told me, but by the grace of Lord she got a proposal at that time and she immediately told yes and both got married and leaving happily aboard with 2 lovely kids. And that freak did not understand what to do and now he has taken into sanyas, no idea where he is, that was the last we knew about him. But today I am happy that my friend is having a happy married life. But that guilt is still there in her heart. Even though it was not her mistake. There are so woman who are suffering this way but unfortunately not able to fight back. |
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| |  Dear Chithu, a very serious matter on your blog this time.These men..huh...I'm really sick and tired of these kind of incidents chithu.Smart, well educated, brought up in a we to do and orthodox family.. all these never ever matter these days.I see enough and more examples everyday at my office.I have atleast a handful of men(so called highly qualified IT proffesionals) literally eating us by their looks when me and my fellow collegues(women) walk by in the corridor .Even after seing my big sindhoor on the forehead - danger light isnt it? What say for this? Corporate life - it s****! Women - attractive or not, whether she lures him or not - men are men.Again I'm not generalising here.We have Lots and lots of men who are really respectable and too good. Great blog Chithu! |
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| | Aruna, one thing a girl or woman....has to be prepared for, is how to overcome such situations. Kamini says, even if the call had not come, she was scheming in her mind,how best to wriggle out . She only was anxious that the story should not be turned against her. It is sad to read about your friend. Sexual assault is one of the worst harassments, a woman can face in life. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Aish Babes, working in a high profile....IT office, I can imagine what you have written about. But we have to accept that there is a small fraction of ladies who enjoy "this" as well. Years back, once when I met a gynaec friend of mine, she was mentioning how, house wives come to her to get aborted after such encounters.It was very shocking to me , to put it mildly. Well, to each one, her own level in morality! What else can we say? Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Very smart lady with high morals!Dear Chithra, Why are you calling it a story! IT was a real life incident na.....well since it happened a few years ago, this guy whom you are calling a gentleman, behaved so....but if he had more opportunities to meet her , i am sure he would not have been so! It is aa difficult situation, women face.....that to more such encounters in working life....not to mention when in public life .....i had faced many situations, but given our intuition, i could wriggle out or was prepared to go with someone as escort always! But still the dirty looks some men give are yuck! Will want you to run and hide or wear a Burka all time! Kaalam , kali kaalam amma! What to say!  |
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| |  Haven't you heard of those famous lines - "No man is satisfied with one!!!!" ? |
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| | Dear Sudha, do not blame it on the kali kalam!This should have been an "ever-happening" problem for a woman since olden days.May be the opportunities were less for women to face these situations, so long as they were home-bound. But now, working women have to know how best to tackle such situations. But the strange thing is Kamini was a plain housewife who never imagined that she will ever face an encounter in her own house! She says that his talk to her was a real ego-boost trip for her and luckily she, being made of sterner stuff did not get carried away by his praise! Love, Chithra. |
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| | Jenz, welcome to my blogs!I do not agree with your generalisation! Not all are made of the same stuff & there are sure exceptions too! Love, Chithra. |
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| |  Dera Chithu, Iam back after a unintended hiatus. My colleague underwent something similiar, though unlike Kamini's situation. How she must have felt each time ehan Vani said her husband looked upto Kamini. Gawd!!! Coming back to my colleague this man was giving those kinda looks and then smses to top it all. Then we sat togther and worked out on simple but st fwd answer to his sms and he got the msg. So much so that when he quit we never knew and when I bumped into him recntly he pretended not to know me!!! Sad is are the ways of the men who think like this. |
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| | Dear Chithra.. A 'heavy' post indeed. I feel bad for your friend that she had to undergo this nasty experience. She had done nothing wrong from her side and I don't think the fault is hers. May God grant her mental peace. As a comment, I would also like to make a mention of my observations on some women I have met at work / college. They are quite attractive - physically, ability to carry off, the charisma etc. They are not 'sexy' like Angeline Jolie or sthg :), but there is something abt them that makes men (of all sorts / ages) get attracted to them. I think this is a VERY NATURAL attraction that men have twds women of this kind. What I dont understand is that on one hand, many such women 'want and enjoy' the attention, but they complain about not feeling safe in the workplace, experiences of eve teasing etc !! I am not saying every woman should behave / dress up 'adakka odukkamaa' everytime, but there need not be unnecessary charisma  :) After all, bees will go to the beautiful flowers in search of nectar !! Wearing sleeveless, less elegant stuff at work, for instance, will naturally distract the men in office. When decorum is lost, pandemonium prevails !The other aspect which is interesting to note is how men accept wives who are more 'charismatic' than them. I know a couple where the wife is a definite beauty and she is successful at work also. She was certainly more popular than her hubby in college. Her hubby is an average sort of guy and was popular in college only 'cos of his beautiful girlfriend :) And she had mentioned to me once that the reason she married this person was 'cos 'he, unlike many men she knows, did not swarm her'. I dont know how is their married life and hope and wish they are happy together and no ego issues arise. Just some thoughts. Thanks and love Pavithra |
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| | Janani, I really was a little bit anxious...about the "long time no see" from your end!! Now that you write that it was an unintended hiatus, all is well & hopefully that ends it well also. Our husbands admiring other women is understandable but there is a limit. It is sad that your friend got unwanted attention, but, you helped her manage to wriggle out of it without the name getting spoilt for either party. A woman must be able to manage any kind of situation, all the more if she is a career woman. Love, Chithra. |
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| | Pavi, I have an observation to make."looking sexy" is not in dress alone, it lies in the way one carries herself !She need not mean to look sexy but the opposite sex finds her sexy for no fault of hers. I personnally feel, the way, a self-confident woman carries herself makes her look sexy in the eyes of a man, probably. But a woman should not "provoke" by her dress, behaviour etc. That is unwarranted. The last paragraph you have written about - I think, they are in minority! Love, Chithra. |
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| | Sure Chitra Madam....I agree that it can't be generalised. But I just wanted to put my comment on a funny side...try to read those as lines of laughter!  |
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| | Yes Jenz - I had a good laugh making sure... V was not around!! Neither my son or SIL!! Love, Chithra. |
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