Whose responsibility is it?

My dear AC,

The parents', indeed.

Sound like from your narration they might be in some family politics. But, whatever it was, they must have disciplined the kids.
No second opinion.

Dear Anandchitra,

Parents are solely responsible for the unruly behaviour of the kids. Even, there was some family politics, they should have an eye on their kids. Can't they control their own kids ? Very irritating !!!

If the management people intervened, then there were chances of some furious exchanges of words between the parents and the management (!!! ??? ) The atmosphere would have been spoiled for everybody in the restaurant.

Dear AC,

I agree with you that there should be some discipline and parents should take the responsiblity. I second with Oviya here that parents might have been involoved in some politics but no excuses in this front.

I remember one incident, my close friend and her kids, one son and one daughter and myself and kids had gone to a restarunt for lunch. Honestly that day I felt too ambarassed because my friend's son started behaving the same way as what you have mentioned. I never had these kind of issues with my kids but here I being with her was bringing all stares my way and dd also started commenting. OMG ! though I gently reprimanded the son but no avail. MY friend too didn't fail in discipling him but nothing could stop him. Then i thought these things should be taught at home first rather that the restaurant.

dear AC,

of course parents should discipline them at home.and teach them how to behave in public.....i have also known kids who come and jump on my sofas..slide down the balcony railing , drop crumbs all over the floor in fact act really wild.... and the mother not at all bothered.....as if she has let him loose in my house ....never known all that with my daughter so used to get really bugged especially since i have to do the cleaning up...
Mindi

Dear anandchitra,
I too have seen parents behaving in that irresponsible manner not only in hotels and restaurats but even when they visit friends or relatives.Parents have to teach their children how to behave .They should be taught to behave well at hoe also then only they will be the same when they come out.If the mother who is tired of guiding her children ,I should say too lazy to,children break things,misplace things,generally behave in an unruly manner at home.When they are not correted at home,they do the same when they come out.
Discipline should start at home.
love
mithila kannan

Dear Ac,

Nice thought provoking one.Im sure we have all witnessed one such incident of misbehaviour on the part of the children.I have also seen parents happily announcing that my kid is so naughty,After all hes my son kinds, which leaves me so terribly confused wondering what it was about the boisterous kid worth commending.
Anyway I think it is but ofcourse the parents who need to intervene.They have to prepare their kids for behaviours patterns accepted by society before taking them out.As guests its very difficult to intervene and the hospitality industry follows certain protocol where they too can do very little about it. So I guess it all depends on the parents.
But here with the parents themselves engrossed in arguments in a public places, the kids probably think its the best place for unruly behaviour!!

Parents need to be very stirct and rules must be laid down and punitive measures adopted if the kids fail to behave after all we live in a society and causing embarassment to family and or society is in no means an acceptable behaviour.
Nowdays most parents send kids to finishing schools where all the etiquettes are taught to the students cause it stresses a lot of emphasis on the interaction with people and behavioural patterns to be followed outside the home

Love,
Devika

Hi AC,

I think as you mentioned that the parents seemed engrossed in an arguement and maybe they had some bigger issues on mind to be taken care of rather than telling their kids to behave.

There are two main aspects of the kids being unruly one is the parents not getting along fine and the tense atmosphere make the kids go wild. Another is the laid back attitude of the mother, who is not interested much in the kids as they are in this world because the husabnd and the family wanted and not her. Hence, her interest level is low with the kids.

dear AC,
i beleive that it is entirely parent's responsibility to teach their children certain discipline.
when we go out for places like restaurant and other public places we must make sure that their behaviour doesnt affect other people around!!!
i think when they get out of hand parents should be stern and control them,rather than leaving them to do what they want just because they have an argument between themselves!
regards
pavi

Hi AC,
We have stopped going to restaurants for the sake of us and fellow mates.My son is 2 year old.I disciple him at home.He obeys well.But once gone out..he doesnt listen one bit.I chase him round the restaurants,putting back all the stuffs he takes and dont feel like eating a bit.Inspite of advicing tonnes of times he jumps on sofa,spills food and more.
Its his age that makes him do all these or my way of parenting..Go to think..Iam not taking side on the family that you met..But still it has made me think..

Supriya my young friend
I find your fb very interesting... actually you have given me more to think.. I realise now its the age.. and so your son is playful.. if you notice i meant more older children.. closer to 10 actually. Dont you think that older children should behave better than toddlers?

AC dearie,

there are two angles to this. one of discipline. where the parents could have tackled the kids with a little stricter tones.

or may the kids were really hungry and wanted the attention of the parents which the parents were not willing to give them.

There is a category of parents whom we can see in get together, parties, who don't mind their kids making any mess or behaving badly as long as they are not disturbed.

DEar AC,
MYself and my hubby are also same like you. When we see children like these we get so tensed blaming the parents for not controling and teaching them the way they should behave. But the fact is nearly 70%of the parents especially mothers don"t take care of the children ,when at parties or any functions. I think WE have to blame only the parents and i think it is their brought up what had made them an irresponsible parents.
So in this social set up what we have to do is just to ignore that nad continue with our proceedings. B"cos why should we lose our health by getting tensed for no reason whhich is nor connected with us.

Hi AC,

I think it is the parents responsibility. When parents amuse we only have to sit and muse...

Aha my friend I think you got it right eh Shan?
Yes i see these parents at parties... one such kid took my key and scratched my wall.. parents didnt care.. my telling them upset them so much.. all said and done its parents responsibility no doubt!

Naanci you are right.. no need to get tensed with this kids behaviour.. and thereby ruining our outing too!

Aha Mals my friend.. Just caught a glimpse of poet in you.. even the glimpse is enough to keep me gaping.. what will I do if you find time to write a real big poem? I will then read it sitting.. you see if I fall then the floor might crack! haha..
good one dear:)

Pavi dear
I am impressed with you..at an young age you have so much maturity.. Absolutely right.. but how many such parents do take up ownership and react ??

Roopa dear
I can see how wise you are.. It is of the utmost importance for parents to put up a united front.. and kids are often sensitive to the situations.. If parents are not in sync it will ultimately affect the kids behaviour.
Also children crave for attention.. in this case it could be more like a ploy to distract parents from their arguments!
I appreciate both your points.. Initially I was not sure of this response of the children.. but its more of the parents fault- in a different dimension!

Dear Devika
I strongly feel that parents should take more ownership.. it sometimes its a lot of work to discipline kids.. This is really the offshoot of having too many things to do.. and with both parents working.. they do not have the time anymore.. to discipline.

Discipline should start at home.. I am sure experience speaks her dearest Mithila.. But I wish more youngsters would listen to this ..