Hiya All
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
Is It Vanity?
My parents recently attended a discourse by Nochoor Venkatraman and they called to tell me that thought more of me than they did of God while listening to him.. So I decided to go online and search for sources to hear him and found on his discourse on Bhagavatam.
While listening to him talk of Lord Krishna, he brought an interesting observation. He said girls today work because of VANITY. Ofcourse this does not apply to girls and women who have to enter the world of making money due to personal reasons.
His observation was that by and large the girls entering the work force today and women who are working today do so because of Vanity.
His theory behind the observation was that there was no need for girls/women to work if their husbands provided adequate money to help them cover their basic expenses.
I guess this is a topic that’s been debated over the years. When my mother married and stayed at home to raise her children, it was really the norm and the most accepted thing to do. When my aunt did the same many asked her why she did not go to work. She was a graduate and gold medalist too. So everyone suggested she go to work but she stayed at home too.. In my generation it was the norm to go outside and work. Till today I find people frown upon those home makers and ridicule them for opting to stay at home.
How can then one see Mr.N.V ‘s perspective I thought. It probably stems from the fact that its in the Man’s DNA, if you will, the need to go out and procure food and provide for the family. And so the reasoning behind the theory that womenfolk should stay behind at home and help manage the house.
Why then in recent times have we seen the scramble to go out and work? And to put up with all the additional stress that goes with it? Money.. more money would be the only answer one can come up with.. the things one can buy with more money.. the places one can travel.. So does not this justify the reason to earn a separate income!
How about the independence it affords a person to be able to earn more money? Does it imply that without earning an income the woman is more like a slave? The woman who bears the children and gives her sweat to raise the children and keep the household together – thought of as a slave? I cannot imagine that being so.
I have never thought the reason women going to work as Vanity.. hence my thoughts on this.. Do please share your thoughts too.. Do you think its Vanity or Independence or Everybody else is doing so should I! mentality! What is it???
While listening to him talk of Lord Krishna, he brought an interesting observation. He said girls today work because of VANITY. Ofcourse this does not apply to girls and women who have to enter the world of making money due to personal reasons.
His observation was that by and large the girls entering the work force today and women who are working today do so because of Vanity.
His theory behind the observation was that there was no need for girls/women to work if their husbands provided adequate money to help them cover their basic expenses.
I guess this is a topic that’s been debated over the years. When my mother married and stayed at home to raise her children, it was really the norm and the most accepted thing to do. When my aunt did the same many asked her why she did not go to work. She was a graduate and gold medalist too. So everyone suggested she go to work but she stayed at home too.. In my generation it was the norm to go outside and work. Till today I find people frown upon those home makers and ridicule them for opting to stay at home.
How can then one see Mr.N.V ‘s perspective I thought. It probably stems from the fact that its in the Man’s DNA, if you will, the need to go out and procure food and provide for the family. And so the reasoning behind the theory that womenfolk should stay behind at home and help manage the house.
Why then in recent times have we seen the scramble to go out and work? And to put up with all the additional stress that goes with it? Money.. more money would be the only answer one can come up with.. the things one can buy with more money.. the places one can travel.. So does not this justify the reason to earn a separate income!
How about the independence it affords a person to be able to earn more money? Does it imply that without earning an income the woman is more like a slave? The woman who bears the children and gives her sweat to raise the children and keep the household together – thought of as a slave? I cannot imagine that being so.
I have never thought the reason women going to work as Vanity.. hence my thoughts on this.. Do please share your thoughts too.. Do you think its Vanity or Independence or Everybody else is doing so should I! mentality! What is it???
Total Comments 10
Comments
 |  Dear AC, Lovely topic. As usual!! According to me Vanity has nothing to do with women working these days. Contemplating a thought like that would be absurd. The reason the inflation, the expenses , that leaves with little or no option but for the women to work. It is now more a rule than an exception that women have to work.All matrimonials look for working girls, so where does vanity come from? The rising prices have made it a compulsion to have both the partners working not just to meet the luxuries but also the neccessities. And it is but obvious .Women are trying to get good sound education, spending a fortune trying to educate themselves to be able to confidently face the world and it would only be justified if out to good use. And then we have heard of mulltitasking,Women all over are rearing kids as well as contributing to the finance of the home.Are managing well in both fields, infact excelling compared to their male counterparts. It would be an insult to intelligence if we have highly educated women ending up merely doing the dishes and cooking at home.It just doesnt seem fair . And I guess these days there is no conflict regarding this matter between spouses since both understand the need for that extra income . Also if something goes wrong with the marriage or if the wife is widowed and has never worked in her life , then that leaves the family in doldrums. It is always better to be self sufficient in Life, you never know when situations demand it and we need to realise that before its too late. Also I have seen there is more respect for working woman, in the eyes of the spouse, the society and the woman herself! So I guess its perfectly a neccessity than a vanity!! Thanks for the great topic AC!! Love, Devika |
Posted 14th July 2008 at 03:03 PM by Devika Menon  Updated 14th July 2008 at 03:08 PM by Devika Menon |
| |  Brilliant reply.. hats off to you for your greatness! I hope you realise I did not use the word Vanity. I however disgree that its a neccessity too.. Its my opinion for the most part its optional.. Exceptions exist.. Thanks for the superb comment! A honor indeed for me! |
Posted 14th July 2008 at 03:07 PM by Anandchitra  |
| |  For Convenience !!Dear AC, This blog reminds me of your story "Everything I do" ! I remember giving my FB there too ! :) This is a debatable topic....!! No AC, it is definitely not Vanity ! Many women go to work to make the best use of their education that ultimately gives them confidence and of course extra income ! Moreover, today, many couples working in the same company, get into "marriage of convenience"-that may have emerged out of love. But they plan their future based on double income ! As Devika chechi pointed out, due to the inflation, many women opt to work where in their income becomes savings for a rainy day. And yes, there are instances where "herd mentality" is followed ! But what to do AC? To each his own..and everyone have their own justifications and reasons to work...its difficult to judge..right AC? Thanks for letting me share my views here... Cheers Krithika |
| Posted 14th July 2008 at 04:07 PM by Jithiks |
| | Its my pleasure for you to share your views here.. so please dont say thanks.. if any I have to say that to you for stepping in.. You have pointed out the reality in an excellent way.. Yes it is difficult to judge.. moreover who are we to judge! However I have never heard this word used with reference to this topic.. and hence felt the need to share it right away.. |
| Posted 14th July 2008 at 04:26 PM by Anandchitra |
| | Hi AC, A very good and relevant topic. I completely agree with Devika, today its a necessity for many more than vanity. I have come across so many instances in our family and group where the wife was never allowed to work, (still the old system in their blood) and when there was a twist in their life they were left helpless with no income due to the loss of the bread winner and many mouths to feed. The lady of the house had to take up alternative career options as office job was out of bounds for them. One of them took up making snacks and the other became a beautician, third is assisting a dentist, fourth is taking tuitions. But all these take time for them to pick up and now they are fighting to make two ends meet. Today i feel that its not vanity but the norm of the day. I agree with you that such may not be the case for all...then those ladies can come up with some such activities to do something good for the society. Where money and more money is concerned...a person earning 5000/- is also satisfied and leads a happy life but one earning 50L per month may also still be runnoing for more money and loose sleep over it. Just my thoughts |
| Posted 15th July 2008 at 01:29 AM by roopadadia |
| |  AC Dearie, Nochur, is quite set in his thinking. If you want a better discourse in tune with today listen to visakha hari. Vanity has nothing to do with a lady working. there are too many angles/perpectives to this subject. But at the same time, after a few year, when the struggle to manage home and kids, office takes a toll, i know lot of women who would give anything to be a stay at home mom, but by then the whole family gets used to the double income and does not know how to do with out it. I have been a working lady, got better opportunities than veda, but i took a decision of being a stay at home mom and i don't regret it. Ofcourse there are lot of people who look down a person who is at home..but that does not affect me..as I know what i am capable of. The other angle is that our expenses go in direct proportions to our income. so we tend to widen the circle frequently.... again my own 2 cents. |
| Posted 15th July 2008 at 04:46 AM by Shanvy |
| | Dear AC, Timely and very interesting post. For many woman it is necessary to work to support their family. For some it is required before marriage, and sometimes after marriage. Even while studying 98% of my friends including me are very much motivated to obtain a job as soon as we finish collage, for various reasons. At the same time i know some, who does not like to work, but they had to, because of the high mortgage and kids education. A few of us feel that by God's grace we don't have to work and can manage by husband's income. To me personally , I like to continue working when my baby is a little bit older and when I feel i am ready and i have time. I think we all should be independent as much as we can and we should all have something we are passionate about and should always contribute to our family( not necessarily by money). It boosts our confidence and adds extra income. If we see history , even the 'virtuous wife' in Bible supports her husband. http://www.quiltersmuse.com/the_virtuous_wife.htm Now that I am a stay at home mom. I never felt bad about it. I feel happy that I am with my son all the time, watching him growing, learning things, I don't want to miss anyof it. About NV's comment, many of colleagues(men) had the same opinion, I got surprised hearing it from them then. They said, girls should not even be educated. World has become so bad ever since girls are given education. Women lost their self control and are the cause of all immoral activities happening now.A few bachelor guys even said they are not going to marry any working girls from Bangalore or Chennai. |
| Posted 15th July 2008 at 03:44 PM by cheerful |
| | Roopa dear Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have somehow missed reading your threads.. Each para that you have outlined.. is an example of today's life and situations and circumstances. We only stop to think at the times of adversity's. Its sometimes a little sad if one is talented but loses the oppurtunity. Again you rightly point out that one does not need millions to feel satisfied or content. Its in the mindset of the couple and how they raise their children too. Thanks for stepping in here Roopa.. hope to catch up with your threads too.. |
| Posted 16th July 2008 at 01:42 PM by Anandchitra |
| | Shanthi Dear Yes Vanity does not have anything to do with women working for the most part.. like in all there are exceptions too.. I feel that once we have kids our decisions gets swayed by family.. And like you say when family is used to double income.. they would not want to give up their job. I am also going to try and listen to visakha hari.. thanks Shanthi. BTW I absolutely love your avatar.. I am quite sure its Charu's work! Great job:) |
| Posted 16th July 2008 at 01:50 PM by Anandchitra |
| | Cheerful your comment is very interesting.. you have addressed so many different facets.. Like you I am also surprised about some people's reaction to working women.. And you are wise to say you will continue to work when your child is older..Thanks for stepping here.. |
| Posted 16th July 2008 at 01:52 PM by Anandchitra |
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