Hiya All
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
Horoscopes, Astrology and Arranged Marraiges
Posted 5th January 2008 at 06:34 PM by Anandchitra
Updated 15th January 2008 at 11:36 AM by Anandchitra
Updated 15th January 2008 at 11:36 AM by Anandchitra
My friend just called to share with me the good news that her nephew is getting engaged. She went on to say how the horoscopes matched and how the parents and the boy went to visit with the girl's family and how everything worked out smoothly. I could feel my jaw drop open! Dont get me wrong..I am all for arranged marraiges but in recent years have been to so many marraiges and none of them was arranged or even horoscpoes matched! So I just assumed matching horoscopes is becoming a thing of the past or should I say becoming OBSOLETE?? really.. could it be?
My husband and I were matched by horoscope though in my initial years of marraige I was convinced the astrologer was a fraud (God please forgive me)..In fact now nearly 24 years after i will agree that the astrologer was none other than GOD.. in person..to arrange my marraige..enough of me and my boring story..getting back to the horoscopes and arranged marraiges..
Is this concept still prevalent or am I totally derailed in my thinking its fading fast? Does horoscopes get drawn up when children are born?? How about marraiges.. Is parental consent as much of importance like in the past?
When I was young the parents would be the first people from the family to visit the girl's house. Then even aunts and sisters would make the travel. Lastly the boy will get to go. In many a case decisions used to be made without the boy being present. During my time I noticed a trend ..which is that the boy MUST be present(during penn parkum visit) and the boy and girl would be allowed to TALK ! really !! No chaperones needed !!! Recently I heard , again among my younger cousins that they could go out together before wedding and again heard that horoscopes are not looked into as much nowadays..
Those days my grandmother would first check and make sure that it is not "Ragu Kalam" before even TALKING about horoscopes or marraige! Never dream about stepping out during Ragu Kalam. That reminds me once we had to travel by train and the train departed during Ragu Kalam. SO we all got ready and packed and left the house before Ragu Kalam and sat at the Railway Station for Only 2 hours for the train to arrive. She would never dream of taking a decision as big as a marraige without consent of horoscopes. God bless her soul for that. All her talking about the rasis and planetary movements have made me somewhat familiar with the terminolgy.
Talking with my friend really brought back these memories and I really wonder if marraiges are still arranged and how much of an influence the astrologer and astrology have on these decisions?
Only my friends here can give me a good perspective on this subject matter!
My husband and I were matched by horoscope though in my initial years of marraige I was convinced the astrologer was a fraud (God please forgive me)..In fact now nearly 24 years after i will agree that the astrologer was none other than GOD.. in person..to arrange my marraige..enough of me and my boring story..getting back to the horoscopes and arranged marraiges..
Is this concept still prevalent or am I totally derailed in my thinking its fading fast? Does horoscopes get drawn up when children are born?? How about marraiges.. Is parental consent as much of importance like in the past?
When I was young the parents would be the first people from the family to visit the girl's house. Then even aunts and sisters would make the travel. Lastly the boy will get to go. In many a case decisions used to be made without the boy being present. During my time I noticed a trend ..which is that the boy MUST be present(during penn parkum visit) and the boy and girl would be allowed to TALK ! really !! No chaperones needed !!! Recently I heard , again among my younger cousins that they could go out together before wedding and again heard that horoscopes are not looked into as much nowadays..
Those days my grandmother would first check and make sure that it is not "Ragu Kalam" before even TALKING about horoscopes or marraige! Never dream about stepping out during Ragu Kalam. That reminds me once we had to travel by train and the train departed during Ragu Kalam. SO we all got ready and packed and left the house before Ragu Kalam and sat at the Railway Station for Only 2 hours for the train to arrive. She would never dream of taking a decision as big as a marraige without consent of horoscopes. God bless her soul for that. All her talking about the rasis and planetary movements have made me somewhat familiar with the terminolgy.
Talking with my friend really brought back these memories and I really wonder if marraiges are still arranged and how much of an influence the astrologer and astrology have on these decisions?
Only my friends here can give me a good perspective on this subject matter!
Total Comments 34
Comments
 |  AC, I too thought in the initial....years of my marriage that the astrologer who matched my horoscope with V's was a fraud ! Even now, when an arguement starts, that is the first point, I raise to him - I am not a goody, goody person, AC ! Mine was 100 % arranged marriage - by both side parents. I first saw V only on Janavasam day - he was opposite to me in looks - very fair, very tall & (pathetically?) thin.My appa had met him & approved of him for me, impressed by his highly professional qualifications. I was seen by his parents & approved on the basis of my horoscope ! Anyway, now over the years, I have come to the conclusion that a marriage stays ( whether arranged or self choice) only if both partners do not take eachother for granted, but work hard to make the relationship a success. It is not easy, infact far from easy.But over a period of time, mutual understanding, respect, last but not least love grow. I always tell myself that I am not an angel to live with. You raise interesting topics, AC. Love, Chithra. |
  Updated 5th January 2008 at 09:16 PM by Chitvish |
| |  I am also not angel to live with dear Chithra.Totally agree that its hard work..and of the two of us he is better in patience and understanding.and better .. I now know without any doubts mine was dealt by the God I worship and as such owe a debt that can never be repaid in full..Thanks for replying..I thought no one was going to reply to this topic.. |
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| |  Hello Anandchitra A nice topic, I too do not believe in horoscopes and all. But it was matched. Mine too is arrange marriage I agree to what Chithra says. I think no one in this world is angel even those who give up everything and become sanyasis. Mutual understanding, trust, respect, honesty is important in relationship to be succussful. We are like two opposite poles he is north means I am south everything is different but still we are successful....... We have to work hard for it.............. keep posting such wonderful topics....... |
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| | Looks like we have one thing in common..that is Success dear Aruna..and it counts a lot..I see so many marraiges that do not work..or end in divorce..or just drift apart..Since you do not mention how many years you have been married lets just assume you are young sweet bride..keep blogin.. |
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| |  Would like to join The group dear AC. A big "O ho!" to arranged marriage system.It'.s still very much in vogue.  I strongly believe that parents get us nothing but the best and astrology in my opinion is foolproof method of landing a secure future! Maybe some small differences do crop up now and then but patching up is equally fast.The present generation treat their spouse as friends first.(Adiyean inclusive! ) I better stop before it becomes a sermon..  Regards Honeybee |
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| | Please dont stop and its no sermon honeybee sweetiebee..I was so enjoying your post when you ended..please do post more if you find time..I am impressed a beautiful youngster like you think about arranged marraige..in a positive way..I also like the way our parents look out for "good family" and "good" boy..All these small things count..really glad you replied..keep blogin.. |
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| |  Dear AC, A yet another nice topic from you. Yes AC,mine was a purely arranged marriage started first after matching of the horoscopes.When my parents started seeing alliances for me i told them about two things.One was the good character of the boy and the second thing was there should be a big family for them.I always love to be in a big gathering of people. In my case both got true.In my inlaws side they are a huge family and my thalai deepavali i celebrated with 25 people around.I believed in my parents more than i did on horoscopes.But still i can see many families starting with matching horoscopes.I dont think that tradition is gone. |
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| | Glad that the tradition still exists..and you and I are proof dear Shantha..nice that you have got the big family and a good person for a husband..all our old traditions and customs have so much value in them ..glad we ar all continuing.hopefully some moght pass on to the next gen.. |
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| |  hello chitra kannum kannum kollayadithaal kathal endru artham kattam kattam kollayadithaal fraud enraaa artham? matchum matchum kollayadithaal santhoshamana vaazhkay enru artham... purnithu konde vidaamal thodarnthaal anbu kottai enru artham artham artham ............................... sathya |
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| |  Dear AC, You bring up all "happening topics" with ur posts and blogs!! It was very interesting to read ur post! I firmly beleive that we(girl n guy) who make their marriage a success or a failure.As Chithra, points out,as days/years pass by Love grows and grows... I'm very grateful to god for giving me sucha caring&loving hubby... |
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| | Hahaha no dear Anandchitra I am an old wine dear. This month end will be completing 17 yrs and step in 18. I agree with you many end with divorce it is just because of ego and attitude of a person. No one want to give up each one says I am not less, I agree all of us are equal but if we wish to be successful we have to learn to sacrifice and compromise to a certain extend. What do u say?????? |
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| | Compromise is the key word dearest Aruna..I know the innumerable times dear hubby has compromised with me ..I also remember the very few time i have done it..But who ever does it the success fruit is then enjoyed by the whole(family).. you are still very young in my eyes (and beautiful) as your nice replies point out..Lets drink to that.. |
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| | We are responsible for our marraiges and these days it totally lies with us dearie sweetie aishu baby..Glad you got a good dh ..and I know he's lucky to get a wonderful person like u too.. |
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| | Anbulla Sathya asaiyil or kadetham..idhai kaygalil eyudha villai.. kangalil eyudhi vandhen.. I am not even going to try to write like you..because I know I cannot..but you have taken yourself to a very new level with these lines..and truth be told you have made my year..nangal erundu perum purnithu konde vidaamal thodarnthu inru engal magun utan anbu kottai katee illaram enru artham..manam neraindha nunree. |
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| |  Hi dear AC, This reminded me of the poor soul (one mf my cousin sister's would be hubby) who was doubted tremendously by all for going for an arranged marriage. Let me tell his story.....My cousin is though beautiful and possess the figure of a model but she is just a graduate and preferred to be a house wife......so she got this first alliance from this poor soul's family and the family approved my sweet sis with horoscope matching/parental background/status etc........and when the poor soul approved without seeing my sis.....then all the eyebrows went up....uncle came to my father asking whether the boy is really qualified or really in the so called job...... (He is CA in a very good farm of hydrabad and presently in USA for some project).......then my father started searching for the boy's credentials.........and finally got to know everything was true and transparent as told by the parents of the son abt their boy........lol....everybody is happy now and she is marrying on 27th of this month.... Only after bothe were engaged they started dating....over phone and going out for launch.....even they are so free that they have started planning for their new life...... I was told all these during this India trip of mine........sorry for bothering you with stories only......... So, till now people have belief in astrology/horoscope etc........don't know how fruitful it is because my parents were married without horoscope match and till now they are doing well with each other. regards. Meeta |
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| | Both sides do work Meeta..Its really in the mind and the effort both parties put in..Thanks for stepping in.. |
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| |  Corrollary to the above......AC, Though i believe in arranged marriages, horoscopes, mine is a known devil is better than unknown angel marriage (now i know veda is going to come here..) no horoscopes matching..the funny part is my MIL had taken our horoscope for some thing after 3 years of our marriage...the very prominent,accurate astrologer said, who matched this two..their marriage will not work, and they will not have kids..(this man is known to filter horoscopes until he feels they are at 80% compatible..). my MIL when leaving told him they have a daughter...actually me and veda were silent spectators for the whole show.....(i still think of the man's face and have a split...). he has hence become our fan..but still is wondering how come we are married... Horoscope matching...a periamma of ours searched for a match for her son for 8 years...the boy started balding by the time he got married...she was against moolam,ayilyam,pooradam...and then so many other things.... AC i believe you have a belief in matching do it..but not to the extent that you want to blame everything to the horoscope...there is something even beyond horoscopes..that is blessing of god... my uncle, got a very good match for his daughter...the daughter came back home just after 3 months, because of the way the husband behaved with her at night..... nobody knows that he is that way.... (So, even if you go for seeing the boy/girl, talking, matching horoscopes....will not give insight into what a person is..) AGain marriage is like a garden...what you sow you reap...you are the best judge of what is not suitable in your garden...you cannot change the character of the soil, you can only plant seeds that are best suited to that soil....maybe i am deviating.....  |
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| | Hi Shanvy, Dear, you are so great analyser, I loved your wordings like Marriage is a garden............. Even if everybody understand these things, why do we fail in doing it/following it.......... Don't you ever came across these feelings that we die to see somebody but when we actually met him/her our enthu has almost vanished and we became too passive........ I think marriage is taking chances (love/arrange), you never know what is there unless you go for it...........even if you give your cent percent, you never know it can be ruined too......you have no control over another mind (ur spouse)......... take care and bye..... |
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| | "Marriage is like a garden...what you sow you reap.." could never have said it better..dearest Shanthi..please do not say to me again you are deviating..I am big fan of your posts so its always a pleasure to read yours..and its a double luck from me if Veda chooses to reply as well..In this and more we are indebted to God.. for giving us the sense and strength.. |
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| |  Dear AC, I strongly believe in horoscopes, astrology etc... Again these are tools which will help you to understand what is in store for us... There are so many people who say, in 21st century what is all these things.... But yes, it works.... Again it all depends on the astrologer... In todays materialistic world, most of them are not sincere to their profession... They are interested in pleasing the client and making money... Also, it is science and mathematics... some of them do not calculate and decipher correctly.... In marriages.... It is not the horoscope whis is going to do the work for you.... The couples has to work towards the success of the marriage... The horoscope compatability alone will not lead to a great successful marriage.... God has given free will to each and every human being... He/she has to use it possitively to succeed in the life... Negative impact of egos, suspicion, untruthfulness, infidelity..... u can keep listing.... all these things will definitely destroy the marriage.... I know a person... who was great in palm history.... He predicted his own death... He passed away as per his prediction.... On that day of funeral, the father of the wife was fighting that the horoscope was not matched properly... Yaar, the person is gone.... what is the point... Sometimes... We leave the reasons for the unsuccessful marriage... and catch on the horoscope.... We need an excuse for our failures.... I always feel, if you love your spouse and remove your ego belt... the marriage will succeed... Love without any expectations can turn all your -ive to +ive is my philosophy... May be I am wrong.... |
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Recent Blog Entries by Anandchitra
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