Hiya All
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
Ferdinand the Bull
Posted 11th May 2008 at 08:12 PM by anandchitra
In 1936 Munro Leaf wrote The Story of Ferdinand, a timeless children's story about a young Spanish Bull who prefers to sit and smell flowers than participate in the aggressive play of his peers. Nonetheless, in case of mistaken identity, he is recruited to the bullfights.
When he makes his much anticipated debut, he is overcome by the smell of flowers being worn by the women in the crowd and no amount of goading will provoke him to fight. The book ends with Ferdinand back in his childhood field smelling the flowers.
In the estimation of the bullfight promoters he did not make the grade. However he went on to live a long and happy life.
Recently there was a program organised to showcase the talent of kids. Be it dance , drama or songs. More than the eager partipation of kids the dominant effect of Mothers was felt by all. I was one of the organisers and as such had to face most of the actions by these pushy Moms. These moms wanted their kids to be in all the dances and songs irrespective of whether their kids had talent or not.
They were supposed to get up on stage and sing even if not so inclined. Also the mothers got upset if their kid was not given a prominent part in a play. One of the conditions was that the children had to attend all the rehearsals of a play to participate.But Moms could overrule this. Even when the kid did not show up for practice the kid was still supposed to maintain the prominent role.
I wished some mothers would back off and give the children little room to think and decide for themselves. Not every child has to take center stage to succeed. Not every child has to get 100 out of 100 to live a full and enriched life. Each child has a personality of its own and success depends on one's choices throughout life.
Like Ferdinand, there is nothing wrong to stop and smell the flowers or to remain enchanted by their smell and forget the gory details of a bull fight. And like Ferdinand not being a success in bull fighting is not synonym to being a failure. Rather its a success in and of itself because a choice was made from the heart.
When he makes his much anticipated debut, he is overcome by the smell of flowers being worn by the women in the crowd and no amount of goading will provoke him to fight. The book ends with Ferdinand back in his childhood field smelling the flowers.
In the estimation of the bullfight promoters he did not make the grade. However he went on to live a long and happy life.
Recently there was a program organised to showcase the talent of kids. Be it dance , drama or songs. More than the eager partipation of kids the dominant effect of Mothers was felt by all. I was one of the organisers and as such had to face most of the actions by these pushy Moms. These moms wanted their kids to be in all the dances and songs irrespective of whether their kids had talent or not.
They were supposed to get up on stage and sing even if not so inclined. Also the mothers got upset if their kid was not given a prominent part in a play. One of the conditions was that the children had to attend all the rehearsals of a play to participate.But Moms could overrule this. Even when the kid did not show up for practice the kid was still supposed to maintain the prominent role.
I wished some mothers would back off and give the children little room to think and decide for themselves. Not every child has to take center stage to succeed. Not every child has to get 100 out of 100 to live a full and enriched life. Each child has a personality of its own and success depends on one's choices throughout life.
Like Ferdinand, there is nothing wrong to stop and smell the flowers or to remain enchanted by their smell and forget the gory details of a bull fight. And like Ferdinand not being a success in bull fighting is not synonym to being a failure. Rather its a success in and of itself because a choice was made from the heart.
Total Comments 27
Comments
 | AC, Thats one of my favorite kids books. And the illustrator has done such a good job. That bull is too cute. But coming to your topic. I am with you 200 %. Can't understand why some moms have to be so pushy and dominant and pressure their kids to be the spotlight all the time. Me, I think kids learn a lot by losing a few time in comeptitions or not taking part in them. Sit back and appreciate sopmeone else who is probably more deserving to be on the stage. Keep blogging |
Posted 11th May 2008 at 09:42 PM by Vandhana  Updated 11th May 2008 at 10:59 PM by Vandhana |
| |  we are in the minority ..I think my dear Vandhana.. |
| Posted 11th May 2008 at 10:56 PM by anandchitra |
| |  A very pertinent topic these days with the noose of competitions hanging atop the kids heads. I am appalled at the parents who tell their kids that its first or else.... theres no option left for these children. They almost get panicky when they do not perform so well or when they arent able to live up to their parents expectations. There are those who refuse to participate for fear of losing , fearing the reaction of parents. As we teach our children to excel, we also need to explain about losing , the spirit of taking losing positively but for that the parents themselves need to equip their minds well with this . I have witnessed a few incidents like the one youve mentioned AC.Its really sad. Every child is different and no one should expect something from one child just because someone else has acheived it.This has caused so much stress among kids and the drastic steps that they have taken to combat it speaks volumes of the trepidation. I guess we need to motivate kids as parents to be able to do to the best of their abitlity at the same time understand their individual ability and set standards accordingly.We need to take care so as to not inflict certain complexes in them which would completely mar their personality. Love, Devika |
| Posted 11th May 2008 at 11:32 PM by Devika Menon |
| | Devika your reply is far better than my lead one.. so glad you replied.. Its very interesting to read .. this is todays reality.. Like I mentioned earlier we are the definite minority! |
| Posted 11th May 2008 at 11:50 PM by anandchitra |
| |  Dear AC, I agree with you completely. Present day moms want their kids in every field whether they are capable on not is a different subject. There was a question in an Agony aunt column a mother had posed, the brief of it is her only child is occupied with lot of activites from dawn to dusk but still at the end of the day the child is listless, not happy etc. The answer given was Whether your child is a robot ? and had explained the ill effects of bulldozing the kids with too may things. But one thing AC I am confused is sometimes, the kids are tooo lazy or not aware of their own talent. Then the mother has to push the kid to do something in that area, isn't it? Sometimes I feel if my parents had allowed rather forced me I would have become a good artist........which I missed as I was not aware of my talent. |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 01:05 AM by lalitha shivaguru |
| |  Dear Anandchitra and Devika so well written liked both your posts. I feel we need to make them do what they wish to do then simply making them nag on those which they r not interested in. |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 05:32 AM by Arunarc |
| | Well said .. But it does take lot of maturity on our part.. also we sometimes get carried away watching others..dearmost Aruna.. recently I saw one family where they kept pushing the kid to do more tennis. He has totally changed with all this pressure.. become more rude. There are after effects for all this too.. the parent needs to stop and consider! |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 06:34 AM by anandchitra Updated 12th May 2008 at 06:36 AM by anandchitra |
| | You have said it so different and true my friend lallu.. Sometimes moms need to be a little pushy too.. Its the question of finding the right balance. I think in our time no one was as pushy but these days moms are toooo pushy.. |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 06:36 AM by anandchitra |
| |  Hello AC,Im back with my comment.Im sorry for not posting my comments for u r previous blogs...though i read all of them.I enjoyed the concept in this one.I havent read abt the story u have mentioned.It's true that moms have become pushy.I would say this is due to peer pressure.The children get overshadowed by the children of pushy moms.May be this attitude leads every one to be pushy. I want my son to participate and cultivate his talents.I have to wait and see if i become a pushy mom due to circumstances or im just myself. |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 07:37 AM by SupriyaDinesh |
| | What a way to end your comment.. you're going to wait and see if you become a pushy mom or not.. Supriya. I am quite impressed with that maturity.. sometimes circumstances make us so.. I have been pushy sometimes but over the years have backed off... more trial and error. I know the talents my son has but now not pushy.. or so I think. Thankfully i have hubby to take care.. wont let me get too pushy! |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 08:48 AM by anandchitra |
| |  Dear AC, Another most significant one from you after, 'everytthing I do'... The great writer Sujatha once mentioned this in his 'Katradhum Petradhum' serial in vikatan. People are crying as a family if the kids don't win in some competitions. Of course, they have to learn how to fight. But, not in all the walks of their life. Most of the times, ignorance is bliss like olden days. Getting exposed to so much of things helps nobody get better. We can react according to situations. That's how people are designed. I'm totally against the parental over-motivation. |
Posted 12th May 2008 at 10:48 AM by Oviya  |
| | Dear Oviya, It is too common to see this happening.. However I think its quite easy to get caught up in all of this sometimes.. Especially when one sees others children doing better. Thats where all the problems begin:) |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 07:19 PM by anandchitra |
| | Another nice one AC. You are on a roll here! I totally agree that parents should not make kids a tool for fulfilling their own competitive desires. Many times parents push kids because they like to brag about them or because it makes them "one up" over their friend etc. Totally wrong reasons to push the kid. Having said that, I have seen that there are kids with a lot of talent who need someone to push them out of their comfort zone for their talents to grow. Sometimes they may be shy and they need someone to nudge them out of their shyness. I think such constructive and non-competitive pushes are sometimes needed. And who can know better than a Mom on when to push, how much to push and where to push. So push in this sense is positive - I think in this case it is more of an encouragement rather than a push. A push to bring out the personal best in a child or a person. I would love to do that for my children. This would also mean having to encourage them when they choose a non-conventional field or a totally out of the way profession which may or may not be my own personal liking. I'd have to respect that and bring out the best in them in whatever it is that they choose to do. SS |
| Posted 12th May 2008 at 10:45 PM by soaringspirit |
| | Dear AC, Just a rejoinder here. My elder one is very shy and reserved kind of a child. I need to push her into everything. There were drawing classes going on in the neighbourhoodwhen she was 7yrs, I literally forced her to attend and made sure she attended all classes. Today I find she has a basic talent for drawing and painting. I just wonder if by chance I had not forced her at that age, then she also would not have realised she possessed such a beautiful talent. |
| Posted 13th May 2008 at 12:40 AM by lalitha shivaguru |
| |  I had a pushy mother myself. This story seems to trigger something emotional. But well, on one hand, i am glad my mother was pushy. I wouldnt be here if not for her. |
| Posted 13th May 2008 at 06:51 AM by srirangani |
| | SS you were missing in action for a short time.. that I missed you. Glad to see you back and as always you have written better than my lead. which makes me more happy. Even though sometimes a little push is needed its very easy to go over board. I have experienced it. My son is very talented but had to be pushed a little to particpate. But I always had hubby as an yardstick to guide.. if not I could have easily gone over board with only the best interests in heart. Thanks for your reply here without which this is not complete:) |
| Posted 13th May 2008 at 09:20 AM by anandchitra |
| | Lally my friend you are right in pushing the kid a little bit.. otherwise their hidden talents would not have come through.. so proud of you MOM:) |
| Posted 13th May 2008 at 09:22 AM by anandchitra |
| | Srirangani I wasnt sure what you were going to say about your pushy mother but glad you ended it that way:) good for you:) |
| Posted 13th May 2008 at 08:10 PM by anandchitra |
| |  Dear Anandchitra Thanks to the nomination by Moonbeams i came by to read your blog and what a superb topic to shed light on. Reading thru i wonder is it society that makes people that way or is it just plain ambition or unfullfilled ambitions of some women. By society i mean don't we as a society glorify winners and don't acknowledge the contributions of the less than sparkling in our midst? I think its a malice that is spreading thickly and we are really making it very difficult for our future generations -by not giving them enough of room to even discover their own true potential. At the turn of the century 1900 the world was awash with inventions and inventors. They had the space to dream and think out of the box. With today's competitive world and pace do we ever allow our kids to dream? The school routine is so boxed in the life at home so quick paced and filled with so many activities they get up and go back to bed like little robots. Hardly having time to realise they are changing and growing and definately no time to think too. If we have to bring about a change it has to be from the grassroots each and every mum has to make that commitment and change has to happen at home- but who will bell the cat? Nice to be introduced to your writing i am so happy that IL has so much talent  all is not lost.best wishes preethi |
| Posted 14th May 2008 at 04:39 AM by Preethi Patnaik |
| | Dear Preethi your kind comments mean a lot to me.. thank you.. reading through your comment I noticed how well you have written.. well said that change has to begin at home:) |
| Posted 14th May 2008 at 09:27 AM by anandchitra |
Recent Blog Entries by anandchitra
- Ask AC (15th July 2008)
- Is It Vanity? (14th July 2008)
- Whose responsibility is it? (13th July 2008)
- Blame it On Menopause! (2nd July 2008)
- Relatives or Friends? (23rd June 2008)
