Ask AC

Nice answer, AC....
I have one big question in front of me....
my eldest daughter got the driver's license this summer...we are yet to take the insurance for her...my hubby says let her wait for 2 more years....but she won't ...she is pestering me...it doesn't mean that we are going to give up...
How can I make her understand.... the importance of her life and of others...and make her stop..questioning me all the time about the car insurance...
Thanks in advance for the answers from you...

sriniketan

My dearest Bhargavi
You are making me walk in the clouds asking me a question..

Living in this country you know how it is for the kids to drive.. so lets be practical about it..

1. Make sure she knows to drive well. If not already done, she should have learnt to drive from a professional company , who also emphasise on safety.
2. No use of cell phones at all while driving.
3. For the next 2 years, no company while driving other than parents.
4.Car insurance must be taken.
5. Give her a good stable car. can be used at home before.
6. make her call you after she reaches destination.. bec i know how moms feel
7. Let her live .. remember all the rules though.. and above all Mom loves you dear:)

This Contract can help too.. we are AAA members and they recommend a contract for teen drivers..


Non-Negotiable Rules for Everyone
Parent(s) and teen will:
• Wear seat belts and require all passengers to wear seat belts
• Obey all traffic laws
• Drive at safe speeds for road conditions — at or below the speed limit
• Be a courteous driver
• Agree to meet at least once per month to discuss the teen’s driving performance and plans for the next month
Parent(s) and teen will NOT:
• Drive under the influence of alcohol or other drugs or ride with an impaired driver
• Engage in racing, stunts, or other thrill-seeking while behind the wheel
• Conceal tickets, warnings, or crashes
• Allow anyone else to drive the car
Learner’s Permit
Parents and teens should practice a minimum of two hours each week for at least six months (several states require longer) to ensure the teen gains ample experience in a range of driving conditions before solo driving.
Teen will:
• Actively participate in driver training classes
• Make time for practice driving
• Not drive without parent(s)
Parent(s) will:
• Provide and maintain a safe vehicle
• Pay for driver training classes and materials
• Be available for practice driving above and beyond what is required by law
• Provide practice on a variety of road types and driving conditions
• Share observations and provide coaching in a calm, respectful manner
Intermediate License/Solo Driving
Driving without a parent poses new challenges for a teen. Crash rates are especially high during the first year of driving. Breaking rules, at-fault crashes, and moving violations should result in reverting to an earlier phase for a pre-determined time. Critical violations (racing, reckless driving, drinking and driving, etc.) should result in license suspension for a pre-determined time.
First Two Months Months 3-6 Months 7-12
Start date ___/___/____ ___/___/____ ___/___/____
No driving after 8 p.m. or dark 9 p.m. 10 p.m.
Passengers No one under 25 No other teens No more than one
Roads Local No highway Most
Weather Dry Moderate Most
Parent(s) will:
• Continue to provide practice on a range of road types and in various driving conditions
• Consider appropriate exceptions when asked in advance
Teen will:
• Always tell parent(s) where he/she is going and with whom
• Always call home if going to be late
• Always call home if it’s not safe to drive or ride
• Pull safely off the road before using a cell phone or other electronic device
Signatures
Teen: ________________________________ Parent/Guardian: ________________________________ Date: _______________

Hi Ac..I posted this query in forum..0 reply..so posting to you friend..

I would like to know what are the [COLOR=blue! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif][COLOR=blue! important][FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, 'lucida grande', arial, helvetica, sans-serif]hosting[/font][/font][/color][/color] etiquettes in this country.I feel overwhelmed when i have guests.I treat them as how i do in India.I dont know if they would like it or not.And im not sure if its appropriate also.

How to be a good host to

1.Neighbours 2.Relatives 3.Surprise guests

AC

You all are making me tensed..Went through all the response. Vishal is just 4 so i think i have a few more years to go to get into this discussion..

Love
Vidya

Cool idea AC. And thanks for volunteering to answer...!

My kid is almost 3 years old. Can you please suggest as to how to use 'time outs' effectively. Mine doesn't seem to understand the concept. But for a few tantrums which I would like to discipline, he is extremely smart and can talk and comprehend very well. Any other tips around disciplining a toddler are also welcome.

-Gayathri.

Dear Supriya
Welcome to my blog.. It is my pleasure to answer your question.
I totally understand your feelings. Its quite natural. Firstly I would like to point out that you need to always be you. Your ownself. When we adopt a formal behaviour, then we are becoming phony. This to me is against my dharma. In all my intereactions with you, I have seen a young intelligent and straight forward person. Be proud of that nature my friend.
1. Remember that the guest comes first. Offer a drink when they arrive. Here the drink can be a cool drink or if its ok with your house you can keep chilled beer or serve wine. I serve all these because its o.k. with my family but you need to see if its o.k. with your family too.
2. Make introductions all around if needed.
3. Make sure conversations are on comfortable topics.

-I am going to come back with more points due to time constraint; Hope I am helping you here:)

Dear Supriya
1. Make an effort to connect to every guest.
Welcome each guest soon after they arrive and make an intro to atleast one other guest.
3. Listen. ask questions and listen to answers.
4. Your party does not have to be expensive.
Certain touches show your guests you thought about their comfort; a well set table, guest towels and a clean home.
I am going to wait for any other question from you before I write more!

Gayathri Dear
1. Think of discipline as a form of teaching, not a form of punishment.

2. Consistency is especially important for toddlers. If Mom's computer was off-limits yesterday, it should be off-limits today. And don't worry about repeating yourself. A toddler may need to hear something literally a hundred times before he gets the message.

3. When he does misbehave, he doesn't need a lecture. Give him a firm "no," perhaps with a quick explanation such as "you could get hurt" or "that's not a toy." Then redirect him to a more desirable activity. Toddlers have short attention spans, so he'll probably be happy to move on.

Will come back with moreJ

Thanks AC for the tips, these give me confidence in dealing with my teenage daughter..in the field of driving...

sriniketan

What a wonderful idea AC.

My question - My ILs actively encourage my son (nearly 1 year) to watch TV while I prefer that he doesnt. My problem is that in a month or two I will be leaving him with my ILs during the mornings (9-1) while I go back to part-time work. Is it fair to expect them to follow my rules in their house and if so how do I make it happen without hurting any feelings?

Vanathi.

Dear Aadhus Mom
This situation is not unique to you.. has existed for ever.. My parents and inlaws did the same.. And I would not let it be so.. Its my personal opinion that one can argue or fight openly with parents.. I dont think its the same with inlaws..
My only choice at that time was to stay at home.. for which I faced more brickbat from all .. because they contended that they were there to help..
If I want to so something MY way.. I have to do it myself.. (only my opinion)
Its not fair to expect them to do things your way. Having said that, here are some options.
1. Request very pleasantly to LIMIT t.v. viewing time.. this is a better way of saying than telling them No t.v at all
2. When you come back home,. the t.v remote is in your hand. Plan your afternoons and evenings with child with NO t.v.
3. Park, little gym, kindermusic, swim so many options..
4. If nothing go for a walk with child.
This can also be an option for elders too. Encourage them to take the child for a walk in the stroller.. this way adults are getting exercise and child is going outdoors
5. Remember to sneak in these options to inlaws instead of outright telling:)

BTW have you tried LIttle Einstein cd's.. They are awesome.. Get these cd's for your kid to watch while you are at work.. Thereby your solving all your P. Because parents happy kid is watching t.v, you are happy because baby is watching educational video, and baby is very happy tooo:)

Hope I helped dear! Good Luck!

Many thanks for your prompt response AC..!

Time outs can be helpful, but few children understand the concept until they're at least 3 years old. For a younger child, time-outs are confusing and frustrating. If your child is old enough to understand time-outs, use them sparingly and limit them to three minutes or less — just long enough for your child to get control of himself.
Put him in a "naughty chair" instead of sending him to his room — you don't want him to associate his room with punishment. Consider sitting with him. (This has worked for me).He'll probably calm down faster, and you could use the break, too.

No matter how badly your child is behaving, hitting shouldn't be an option. Spanks and slaps teach children to be afraid of their parents.

Discipline doesn't always have to be negative. Praise your child when you "catch" him being good, like sharing a toy with a friend or picking up a mess. He'll learn that he doesn't have to misbehave to get your attention.

Finally, make it as easy as possible for your child to do the right thing. Try to avoid putting him in situations he can't handle. For example, don't take him on long shopping trips when he's tired and hungry.
And don't surround him with things he's not allowed to touch. If his world is cluttered with temptations, you'll spend all day saying "no." Try to maximize his opportunities to play and explore but minimize his chances to get into trouble.

Gayathri Hope you find these helpfulJ Kisses and Hugs from aunt AC to your little one!

Hi Ac..Iam bowled over by all your responses..not only mine..hats off to you..Will come up again ..?

Dear Aadhusmom

The following Baby Einstein products would be age appropriate for your little one

1. Baby's Favorite Places - First Words Around Town
2. Eat & Discover Placemat
3. Poems for Little Ones

Hope you find these helpfulJ Kisses and Hugs from aunt AC to your little one!

Supriya Thank you for your kind words.. I have been there dont that.. kind of situation.. when I was younger I had to search for all info and find it myself.. so now sharing with my young friends what little I know.. thanks again sweetheart for your kind words:)

Supriya Dear
You have asked about hosting Neighbours, Relatives and Surprise guests
1. Surprise Guests : I think they would be few and far between for the most part.
When my kid was growing up, he would literally cover the hall floor with toys and even kitchen utensils.. I decided to keep a seperate room for this.. That way its contained..
And I usually keep baskets nearby in the living room to quickly dump all and sundry before opening the front door.. more like catch all baskets.. trust me it helps I still do it today even for the big boy of the house:)
2. Neighbours - Same apply as before.
Greet them, offer a drink. Have some soft drinks or lemonade mix in stock.
Be polite. Also if its interfering with your little one's schedule, you can say so politely. no problem
3. Relatives; aha a whole new situation
1. decide which room to give, before hand.
2. clean room, keep sheets and towels at hand ready, all cleaned
3. If room cannot be given, find some good place like couch in living room
4. All bathrooms cleaned, sparkling, extra neat clean towels a must
5. Since you have small child, plan menu and prepare as much as possible before guests arrive.
These foods can be stored in freezer , fridge etc.
6. Also use store bought items to help out.
7. Above all remeber priority is with our husband and child at all times. Take it easy and enjoy!

Hope I helped you dear.. if any other question do feel free to ask..love:)

Many thanks AC dearie for your prompt response..

I am specifically impressed with the last two paragraph - making it easy to do the right thing. That just sounds like my mom.

Hugs and kisses promptly passed on to Guhan and he says 'Thank you AC aunty'

-Gayathri.

Dear AC,
Thank you so much. I completely agree with you that one cannot behave as we would with parents with ILs - hence my problem. I have thought about putting off returning to work but I'm facing a lot of pressure to go back. The Little Einstein CDs are a wonderful idea - I'll definitely look into them right away. Aadhu gives his love to you too and I give you my whole-hearted thanks - I think you have given me the sort of advice my mom would had she been alive.

Vanathi.