Hiya All
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
Here I am bloggin my thoughts, ideas, journals and ofcourse my inevitable ramblings. Greatly appreciate you'll stopping by and add comments if you will. See ya!
A Mother First
Posted 10th August 2008 at 11:31 PM by Anandchitra
Updated 17th August 2008 at 06:52 PM by Anandchitra (added category)
Updated 17th August 2008 at 06:52 PM by Anandchitra (added category)
Vidya was widowed at a very young age and brought up her son by herself. She did have help and support from both the families but it was t her credit that her son grew up to be a clever well educated and well employed boy.
It came as a surprise to everyone when he one day walked in with his bride. Vidya had gone to the airport to receive her son who was returning from abroad for a 2 week holiday and she was shocked to see him walking towards her with his arm entwined in the hands of the prettiest girl she had ever seen.
Soon it became the talk of the families and neighbors much to Vidya’s chagrin and everyone denounced her new daughter inlaw even before anyone got to know her. Vidya however paid no attention to all this talk and focused on getting to know her daughter-in-law better.
It became quite clear to Vidya that her son Biju’s wife, Shalini , belonged to the new generation. Very independent, quite spoilt and expected more of others than of herself. Shalini’s parents came for a few days stay and Vidya could see the strong resemblance between Shalini and her mother. Not just the facial features but mannerisms too. Vidya for her part kept quiet and was courteous and loving to all.
Over the course of the next two years, Vidya heard more and more horror tales of Shalini’s behaviour. More from her friends who were also Biju’s friends but also from her son too. Not that Shalini did anything outrageous. It was what she did not do became the topic of conversation.
She did not want to do any household chores or any cooking at all. She wanted to spend more money on shopping and had a bent of mind to accumulate fancy clothing, jewellery and anything else that caught her eye.It appeared to Vidya that her son did not how to handle his wife. Before long Shalini was pregnant.
Vidya got a surprise phone call from Shalini’s parents. Over the phone her father lamented to Vidya of his daughter careless actions and irresponsible behaviour. He wanted Vidya’s advice.
Vidya knew what to do and gave her suggestion. Vidya , Biju and Shalini’s parents became conspirators in an effort to turn Shalini around. According to plan, Vidya planned a 2 month trip to her son’s house. From the moment she landed she took over her son’s finances. A very shocked Shalini made a frantic call to her parents to complain about what she thought was outrageous.
Her parents much to her greater shock took the side of Vidya and acted as if it was perfectly normal. There started the series of events to make life difficult for Shalini. She could not get up whenever she pleased or watch t.v through out the day. She could not go shopping as she chose and could never buy anything she fancied.
Now Shalini was taught to live in a budget and she was taught home management by an efficient and capable mother-in-law. Now she was forced to take more responsibilties and turn over a new leaf.
Initially Shalini found this difficult and complained but there was nobody to listen. Her own parents and husband seemed to have turned against her. The girls whom she had thought of as friends showed their true colors when they realized Shalini had no money to spend.
Very soon Shalini realized this was a better way of living. She was a smart and intelligent girl and soon saw she had to take responsibility to her own life and now that she was going to be a mother she knew she had to grow into being one.
When it was time for Vidya to return, Shalini did not want to let her go. In her mother-in-law she had seen how to become a mother first.
It does not always happen this way in life, but still life and nature are our greatest teachers. Instead of complaining about the turn of events, if one would just take the moment to reflect and pause to reevaluate, many girls would learn to become a mother first.
It came as a surprise to everyone when he one day walked in with his bride. Vidya had gone to the airport to receive her son who was returning from abroad for a 2 week holiday and she was shocked to see him walking towards her with his arm entwined in the hands of the prettiest girl she had ever seen.
Soon it became the talk of the families and neighbors much to Vidya’s chagrin and everyone denounced her new daughter inlaw even before anyone got to know her. Vidya however paid no attention to all this talk and focused on getting to know her daughter-in-law better.
It became quite clear to Vidya that her son Biju’s wife, Shalini , belonged to the new generation. Very independent, quite spoilt and expected more of others than of herself. Shalini’s parents came for a few days stay and Vidya could see the strong resemblance between Shalini and her mother. Not just the facial features but mannerisms too. Vidya for her part kept quiet and was courteous and loving to all.
Over the course of the next two years, Vidya heard more and more horror tales of Shalini’s behaviour. More from her friends who were also Biju’s friends but also from her son too. Not that Shalini did anything outrageous. It was what she did not do became the topic of conversation.
She did not want to do any household chores or any cooking at all. She wanted to spend more money on shopping and had a bent of mind to accumulate fancy clothing, jewellery and anything else that caught her eye.It appeared to Vidya that her son did not how to handle his wife. Before long Shalini was pregnant.
Vidya got a surprise phone call from Shalini’s parents. Over the phone her father lamented to Vidya of his daughter careless actions and irresponsible behaviour. He wanted Vidya’s advice.
Vidya knew what to do and gave her suggestion. Vidya , Biju and Shalini’s parents became conspirators in an effort to turn Shalini around. According to plan, Vidya planned a 2 month trip to her son’s house. From the moment she landed she took over her son’s finances. A very shocked Shalini made a frantic call to her parents to complain about what she thought was outrageous.
Her parents much to her greater shock took the side of Vidya and acted as if it was perfectly normal. There started the series of events to make life difficult for Shalini. She could not get up whenever she pleased or watch t.v through out the day. She could not go shopping as she chose and could never buy anything she fancied.
Now Shalini was taught to live in a budget and she was taught home management by an efficient and capable mother-in-law. Now she was forced to take more responsibilties and turn over a new leaf.
Initially Shalini found this difficult and complained but there was nobody to listen. Her own parents and husband seemed to have turned against her. The girls whom she had thought of as friends showed their true colors when they realized Shalini had no money to spend.
Very soon Shalini realized this was a better way of living. She was a smart and intelligent girl and soon saw she had to take responsibility to her own life and now that she was going to be a mother she knew she had to grow into being one.
When it was time for Vidya to return, Shalini did not want to let her go. In her mother-in-law she had seen how to become a mother first.
It does not always happen this way in life, but still life and nature are our greatest teachers. Instead of complaining about the turn of events, if one would just take the moment to reflect and pause to reevaluate, many girls would learn to become a mother first.
Total Comments 38
Comments
 |  Dear AC That was good. Pray none of us have to go through that with our DIL's! |
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| |  Dear ACMy dear ananadchitra, Hats off to shalini's parents.They are the real hero and heroine of your story.How many parents will take the side of their daughter's MIL even if they know that their daughter is wrong?Their ego will not permit it.So alls well that ends well. Nice stry. lve mithila kannan |
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| | good one AC,but i too agree that shalinis parents are the real heroes of this story which l very rarely happens in real life...shalini too though not a bad girl is only very spoilt which is the case with many youngsters today...if they are open to advice from the experienced life should be quite easy for them.. Mindi. |
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| |  Usha after seeing so many marraiges in recent times I fear its a possibiltity.. |
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| |  Hi ! AC , Lovely story with a positive message for parents of all spoilt brats ! The wisdom of the elders who set aside egos and petty thoughts to unite and teach the young girl Shalini about living and managing household affairs on a budget definitely needs to be applauded.Hope more and more parents will unite and not take sides when the youngsters face problems .Youth in their folly are bound to trip over and fall and it is the duty of parents to lift them up and give sound advice.A positive attitude on the part of parents can prevent many divorces too.Great idea AC, lets hope more of such parental "conspiracies" will save young couples. warm regards PAULINA |
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| | Dear Mithila You are so right.. Not many parents would accept their daughter is wrong.. its an ego problem. also its accepting they have made a mistake. Many mothers who have raised sons know it has not been easy.. and then they hope life would be better when the daughter in-law arrives. Most of the time these girls are pampered and spoilt. In reality I have not seen any hope for these girls. But atleast for the story I wanted it different. Thanks for steppin in. |
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| | Mindian I am glad you are able to see that many girls are spoilt today. And if they would listen to the wisdom of the parents.. |
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| | Paulina I am so glad you caught the essence so well.. now in real life will it work.. thats a different story isnt it? Thank you dear.. your words always inspire me. |
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| |  Dear AC, as all mentioned here...the real heroes are shalini's parents...Though she was not a villi...shalini was wayward and her parents needed to act in time to correct her...and not blindly pamper her.. AC, how differently you think....hats off... |
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| |  Dear AC, A very positive way of handling the story. Actually, you are the hero and the story is the heroine.(sorry, my dear fellow IL'ites who named Shalini's parents. Ofcourse, it is a real twist....just a personal opinion). As the story is yours, you are the heroine again. Shalini is not bad. Just irresponsible. So do Shalini's parents. So, everything went on smooth. Vidya is very matured and she too handled it in a right way. Without complaining instantly, she waited for the right time to come, and just played intelligently. As you said, AC, it might not happen in every household. Most of the people don't need corrections at all. They just revert when it comes to even starting the discussion. But, everybdy can this try as a first resort. It was a pleasant reading with the positive approach in all the steps. Very precise and crisp. Can be given as a laminated gift to newly-weds(to the family,too as 'ilavasa inaippu'). Superb, AC. |
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| | Saras my friend It is not how different I think but how kind you are and how well you motivate me.. In reality many parents who have been through tough times know what needs to be done.. but few agree. Also in real life if your son gets caught with one such girl that is more likely the end of your relationship too.. some daughters inlaw take total control. |
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| | Oviya how do you manage to write a neat review and compliment me and make me feel I am top of the world all at the same time.. you are too kind with your words.. I was prompted to think of Shalini's character by real life girls.. al very well educated and coming from well to do families.. and like Shalini's parents did to her.. totally spoilt. After marraige many factors take a downward slide.. In my hopes to remain optimistic I created the intervention in the form of Vidya. It is my feeling that this will not work real time.. however one can always hope:) Thank you for steppin in and making my day dear. |
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| |  HI Anand Chitra Excellent story. Really enjoyed. Can't believe MIL's being so good to their DIL's |
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| | Dear Raji Nice to hear from you.. My mother inlaw is no more but she was a really nice person. I still am grateful for their help when we were really down and suffering.. esp when my son got sick.. both father and mother inlaw helped out with no questions asked. I realised then that their ultimate goal is their chidlrens happiness. Most of the time its mistaken .. but thats what they want.. esp. headed towards old age.. Maybe you might not step in if i ramble so much:) |
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| |  All's well that ends well !Dear AC, A distinct story with a happy ending ! I felt so happy for Shalini that she actually understood her mil. Glad it did not take a cinematic turn !! Shalini's parents have really played a positive & prominent role by accepting their daughter's negative aspect. They have neatly aided Vidya in reforming their daughter. And ofcourse Vidya who had very cleverly changed her daughter-in-law without causing a rift in the family ! AC, you've skillfully penned down this story... a must read for all mil's and dil's !  Regards Krithika |
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| | Krithika Dear Trust me when I say you have made me walk on clouds... and considering my weight thats no easy task?!! You know it brings more happiness when the essense is understood.. Thats exactly what I wanted to convey.. I do hope it sometimes works in real life too:) |
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| |  AC, I love the way you had portrayed Vidya...of course, Shalini's parents were a surprise too.... Vidya, observing carefully the on-going came to his son's rescue, only when asked...that's why it is appreciated... Atlast Shallini understood the real situation... True, not in every holds this is a possibility..it is like a triangle, mil,husband and parents.. sriniketan |
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| | Bhargavi thanks.. you have been able to appreciate the nuances.. might not happen in real life.. many times people just do not want to learn from experiences.. |
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| |  Dear Mam... A very good stroy.... Their are some girls like Shalini..Over spending always love to have a luxurious life..Never minding behaviour..... But very rare to see a MIL like Vidya hatss of to her.. Thanx for a nice post Mam...  |
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| | Brindha I am seeing too many girls like Shalini... especially in my close family circle.. only when you see in close family do you get an idea.. becuase when just meetin them you dont get to see the impact.. Its however my wish these girls will grow up from petty and childish behaviour and mature and take responsibility. Thanks for your support and kind words..:) |
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