What will you do?

At my parent's place, we celebrate the birthdays (including pets, furniture, cars etc) and make the day a remarkable one for the birthday baby. But after my marriage I have seen completely opposite environment in my Inlaw's place. They don't even take the pain to call the sisters or brothers and greet them, though during some time of the day , they just remember the person, that too I have not seen much.

My husband did not wish me on my birthday this year. It is the first birthday I was with him and the previous 2 birthdays after my marriage have gone when I was on a official trip. We went when my parents invited for a dinner still he did not even greet me. It pained me much. My mother who felt very sad asked me not to celebrate his birthday too, which ofcourse I can not do.

I did not expect any materialistic things from him but only the blessings, which he could not give me.

Has anybody experienced this kind of treatment by DH or any close family members? How did you deal with them?

Hi tanmayi,

belated birthday wishes.. I can understand your situation.. dont take it to heart.. most of the men are like that only.. In your case it is not the fault of your hubby, the environment he grown up may be made him to behave like that.. celebrate your DH's birthday grandley and make the day very memorable to him this year.. may be next year he may give you a surprise gift.. hope for the best..

regards,
ramyaganesh.

belated b'day wishes. if u feel very bad better u go to ur mom's place where they celebrate ur b'day grandly.

Originally Posted by tanmayi

At my parent's place, we celebrate the birthdays (including pets, furniture, cars etc) and make the day a remarkable one for the birthday baby. But after my marriage I have seen completely opposite environment in my Inlaw's place. They don't even take the pain to call the sisters or brothers and greet them, though during some time of the day , they just remember the person, that too I have not seen much.

My husband did not wish me on my birthday this year. It is the first birthday I was with him and the previous 2 birthdays after my marriage have gone when I was on a official trip. We went when my parents invited for a dinner still he did not even greet me. It pained me much. My mother who felt very sad asked me not to celebrate his birthday too, which ofcourse I can not do.

I did not expect any materialistic things from him but only the blessings, which he could not give me.

Has anybody experienced this kind of treatment by DH or any close family members? How did you deal with them?

u also start celebrate b'days for each & every thing in ur house like chairs, sofas, etc. & make it a habit for ur husband. so that he can feel like celebrating ur b'day next year. good luck.

2 much narmee. I did not mean that we celebrate birthdays of chairs, toothbrushes etc. Perhaps I was exaggerating but what I meant to say was that we were all very caring and sharing in fact finding opportunities for fun.

HI TANMAYI,
my belated birthday wishes to u.
i would go with ramya's suggestion ,celebrate his bday in a grand way .once in a while when he is in a very good mood tell him how u used to do before marriage ,talk to him,
definitly next time u will find change.
bye 4 now,
shashi.

Hi Tanmayee,
My belated birthday wishes .
I can understand ur situation very well as I was in the similar one previously.
I have been married since 2 1/2 years and things had changed alot in these years.
My father in law doesnt celebrate birthdays.The reason behind this s in his childhood, one of his siblings died after his birthday and his mother said not to celebrate birthdyas anymore.
When I came to know abt this, I felt little bit disappointed.
But I openly discussed with my Hubby dear . He feels everyday s like a celebration so y only one particular day we need to do. I explaine dhim patiently that in this hectic day today lives we get only such days to enjoy the most.He slowly agreed.Actually he was not complete no for birthday celebrations.he even took me out for my birthday before my wedding.........
For my first birthday after my wedding, we didnt want to hurt my father in laws sentiments,instead we opted out for a holiday.That was a memorable one.
Gradually I started small kind of celebrations at home with my hubby's birthday.I started bringing sweets,wishing my in laws on their birthdays......
Next year,on my birthday my hubby was at abroad.My in laws remembered my birthday and gifted me a beautiful dress in advance.I was staying with my parents then, we all i.e., my inlaws , my parents went out for dinner and had a great time.
My father in law made it a point to tell my dad that the never celebrated birthdays but I was an exception.I felt sooooooo happy.
This year my hubby , me and his brother celebrated my father in law's 60 th birthday with a blast.
Thus,ppl do change and do understand us.......
My advise to u s, start noting down birthdays of ur inlaws and slowly start small celebrations.Give small gifts,cards,cook their favourite dishes and slowly they ll know the meaning of celebrations!
But beforehand discuss with ur Husband the reason behind no celebrations.........Dont forget this.
Good luck!