Advice needed about 2 yr old eating habits

hello Indus ladies,

First of all my apologies for a long mail.

I am working mom of 2 yr old Son. I used to leave him in day care daily, feed him breakfast for ½ hour and come back to Office. My son is a very picky eater and hence I used to take 2/3 dishes so that he can eat 2 bites from each of those. Most of his morning breakfast will be done by just 4 bites and so lunch , dinner.

His schedule used to be:

8.30 Breakfast from me
Milk

11.30 Lunch at Day care
Milk

3.30 Snack (Gold fish etc)
Milk

Hence somebody told me that he s drinking too much and hence he s not eating. So decided to stop the milk that he is drinking the morning 9.00 AM but still he does not do good with his food. He does not like paruppu saadham, curd rice, yogurt, sundakadalai which means he does not like proteineceous foods. He eats chicken pieces, plain white rice with nothing added, plain ghee, butter. He does not eat properly in the night also, he gets 2/3 times for milk in the night. I did try to make him sleep without giving milk but I lost. When he is not eating, I get anger and beat him. I Know its wrong, but I cannot take it as it s happening most of the days. Also he s so naughty at home, breaking all electronics stuffs. His father gets angry more easily than me and scolds him, beats him. Am worried a lot because of this too.

My questions to Indus ladies are:

4 How do I make my child to eat well?
5 What is the quantity of food, a 2 yr old will be taking? Since he never ate good, I could not guage it.
6 How do I control my anger? Is it good to get anger and beat kid? Will it affect him?
7 His father gets angry and scolds in bad tamil words at me. When he listens that, does he get affected mentally?

Am eagerly waiting for your advices. Please ….

Hi Shobana,
First of all don't get dis-heartned.
Most of the kids are picky eaters.
It takes time for them to really know or get used to the food.
So please have patience.
It is very important to the kids that they eat healthy and nutrition food

Try to make his favorite dish and feed him.
Even though they don't like at the first time, keep trying it. After sometime they will start liking.
You can make different types of kids food. Please visit Baby/kids foods section, you will get different ideas .
Fun, healthy and easy foods for Kids!

Regarding beating: the more you do, the more they will become adament and naughty.
This is the age for them to do and they don't understand the mistakes.
Just be around him always and stop him doing any such damages.
As they grow older, they would stop all these things.

~Punitha

Originally Posted by shobanaj

hello Indus ladies,

First of all my apologies for a long mail.

I am working mom of 2 yr old Son. I used to leave him in day care daily, feed him breakfast for ½ hour and come back to Office. My son is a very picky eater and hence I used to take 2/3 dishes so that he can eat 2 bites from each of those. Most of his morning breakfast will be done by just 4 bites and so lunch , dinner.

His schedule used to be:

8.30 Breakfast from me
Milk

11.30 Lunch at Day care
Milk

3.30 Snack (Gold fish etc)
Milk

Hence somebody told me that he s drinking too much and hence he s not eating. So decided to stop the milk that he is drinking the morning 9.00 AM but still he does not do good with his food. He does not like paruppu saadham, curd rice, yogurt, sundakadalai which means he does not like proteineceous foods. He eats chicken pieces, plain white rice with nothing added, plain ghee, butter. He does not eat properly in the night also, he gets 2/3 times for milk in the night. I did try to make him sleep without giving milk but I lost. When he is not eating, I get anger and beat him. I Know its wrong, but I cannot take it as it s happening most of the days. Also he s so naughty at home, breaking all electronics stuffs. His father gets angry more easily than me and scolds him, beats him. Am worried a lot because of this too.

My questions to Indus ladies are:

4 How do I make my child to eat well?
5 What is the quantity of food, a 2 yr old will be taking? Since he never ate good, I could not guage it.
6 How do I control my anger? Is it good to get anger and beat kid? Will it affect him?
7 His father gets angry and scolds in bad tamil words at me. When he listens that, does he get affected mentally?

Am eagerly waiting for your advices. Please ….

Hi Shobanaj,

First of all take heart that your child is no different from a lot of others...even my kid is a picky eater...and I'm always stressed out because of that.

My pediatrician told me a few days back that picky eaters will eat one good meal in 2 days...also their milk intake should be between 16-24 oz a day. So give that much milk at least to them...I try to give max milk first thing in the morning (so the stomach is full for some time) and the last thing in the night...

As Puni said, try different recipes...like stuffed parathas, pancakes etc...when its meal time, try to sit together as a family to have food. When yr kid sees you and your hubby eating, he might want to join in. Don't give him a separate plate. Give him small portions from your own plate. This change in the way we feed our daughter has improved her food intake a little bit.

About the beatings - I feel that is a strict no-no. For a 2 yr old specially, this is the age where a child learns from you blindly. Whatever behavior you show in front of him, he will think its acceptable and will try to copy it. So try to control your temper and language in front of him. Tell your husband also to exercise some control. You guys are the adults here, not yr 2 yr old.

If he is breaking stuff, then keep such stuff out of his reach. When he does something that is not acceptable, then frown at him and tell him "No" firmly and that he shouldn't be doing it.

I'm still learning toddler behavior so am not much of an expert, but I can tell you that beatings will never discipline a child. It will only fill him with anger and bitterness (if the beatings continue as he grows older)...he will also learn that beating somebody or using abusive language are an acceptable way to express one's anger...which is not really something you want a child to learn.

If you are very frustrated about him not eating, then leave him alone for some time...don't give him any food for an hr or so...then take a plate and start eating in front of him...if you get very angry, then leave the room for some time...it is important that your child sees you in control of yourself as a child can sense everything...

Hope this helps..

love,
Aarushi

Dear Shobana, I can't add anything more than Aarushi and Puni. My son is 3 and is a picky eater too. He was never troublesome as a baby... he used to eat all veges and fruits. But since the past year (from 2 years of age) he says a strict no to eating. For example today he ate properly... cereal for breakfast, curd rice with kootu for lunch and chapathi with curd for dinner. But y'day was a big fight and I don't know how it'll be tomorrow. From my experience I have understood that kids of this age don't or can't concentrate on anything for long... be it playing, painting, reading books and so it's the same when it comes to eating. We don't know what is their appetite and we try to feed what we think will fill them up and eventually get frustrated. As a working mother your stress is more:) Just imagine even we as adults don't feel like eating the regular quantity somedays! I give him fruits, bread etc., as snacks these days. And I think until 4 years milk is vital for them. There are days when my boy too wakes up couple of times in the night and asks for milk.. we give it to him but keep reducing the quantity. I think some nights (esp winter with heating and all that) they're thirsty and for them milk rather than water quenches the thirst:) As for breaking things... my boy too likes to handle everything himself. So we just put it beyond his reach. You can't reason with a 2 yr old. If we want minimal damage, we've to be careful... a child just cannot understand the value of such items. for him everything is a toy to explore! And I too used to beat him often and after pouring out my feelings on IL I've stopped beating him since a month. I give myself time out. If we start beating them for everything they'll become more stubborn. These days my boy has considerably reduced saying no to everything and even says sorry to me. I understand from fellow mothers at my boy's play school that most times when for example we tell them something they're not even listening. Their mind is occupied elsewhere in their own world. So we shd give them a break and then try again. Parenting is a tough job and it's all a learning experience... i'm sure you'll find your own tips n tricks soon:) take care! Latha

Thank you Latha, Aarushi and Punitha.

You replies are very soothing my heart, i will definitely follow what you have suggested. I feel as if my sisters (though i dont have any sisters) are around me, when i am browsing Indus Ladies.

Regards
Shobana.

HI Shobana,
Some tips:
1.Try giving cheerios or fruit loop cereal with milk.
2.Give these nutrigrain cereal bars.
3.Introduce some fruit juice.
4.You can start idly with milk and dosa with light chutney etc.
5. Give him chicken nuggets (dino brand, which you get it from costco).
Usually kids love them.
6. Start giving omlets.

Keep trying, they will pick it up.
My younger is 5yrs and he still has trouble eating food. We need to be very strict and feed him.

Regards.

Originally Posted by shobanaj

Thank you Latha, Aarushi and Punitha.

You replies are very soothing my heart, i will definitely follow what you have suggested. I feel as if my sisters (though i dont have any sisters) are around me, when i am browsing Indus Ladies.

Regards
Shobana.

Dear Shobhana dont worry about ur son even my son also picky eater, while giving food try to read some library books and try to play with him like, close ur eyes and tell that who will come to eat food is lion or u, like that tell all animals , it is working for my son. And give some healthy snacks like cheese strings and granola bars like that. Our self we have to become like kids and we have to play with them while eating. And dont get angry on him if u are getting angry he will do more , try to tell that when u broke them it will hurt and it will cry like that, and tell all words repeatedly, if he is doin some thing wrong repeatedly tell no, no , no so finally he will stop. For all these it will take time but it will work.

Hi Shobana, One more point I remembered y'day... you mention that your son breaks gadgets. My boy likes to meddle (which is also dangerous) and couple of weeks back he found the idea of switching on n off lights (with great force) exciting. We tried telling him he has to be gentle, the bulbs will fuse etc., etc., then i started to tell him that poor light will get hurt. I purposefully removed couple of bulbs and told him coz he was not gentle with the switch the bulbs are not glowing anymore. then he understood. now he says good night to the light. this is just an example. i've followed this tact on several other occasions... with washing machine, doors, books. i think now he understands if he hurts someone or something then he loses his friends:) try something like that... Latha

hi everybody,
most of you saying about rasam and curd but what about dhal and pongal these are very nutritious

Originally Posted by jainulyas

hi everybody,
most of you saying about rasam and curd but what about dhal and pongal these are very nutritious

an apple a day keeps the doctor away