When Will Mil Stop

They will never understand. "Never Ever". Always remember this. You have to work upon on your life not on their behaviour. Karma will definitely give them answer but that too they won't understand. Only you or people like you will know about it.
You have to first separate urself from them in your mind. Give yourself more importance. Know about yourself. What are your needs and goals of your life. Then start working on them. IL will come in each of your task. You have to ignore them or at least be more strong internally that they won't be able to harm your mental condition.
Leave your husband with his own decision. He always want their interference or start afresh with you. The most worst thing that can happen is u can get separated. You have to be that much strong. But before that try all the best possible ways to stay in your marriage. Everything that I said is difficult as your situation is also difficult. Once you start handling in your own way you will come out as more better and strong person.

 

This problem is never ending. Treat her just like how she treats you. Or else give her the treatment her daughter doing to her MIL. Do whatever you can and make her realise if she treats you this way, you will never bother looking at her side during old age.

Never take your problems to your husband. I do the same too. Lately Ive realised taking problems to my husband only strained our relationship more. So I'm avoiding that nowadays.

 

Op...your child is not your weakness,he is your strength in this marriage.
Tell everyone concerned that you are no longer going to raise your child in this abusive environment.
Tell your husband you do not want your son growing up watching his mother being abused and harrassed .

Negotiate for better living condition with them or without them.
I hope you have parental support and some kind of education to help you become financially independent.

 

Someday when you are alone with her,look at her with ice in your eyes and voice,tell her exactly this and move away. That will send the chill up her spine.

More and more dils should let mils know that how they treat the dil in the first ten years is how the mil will be treated in the last ten years of their life by the dil. That will bring some sanity into this completely irrational behavior of mils towards their dils.
Dils are most weak and vulnerable in the early years of the marriage .....mils are most vulnerable in the later years of life. If you are willing to give,be ready to take too. If you spoil someones married life,don't expect compassion from them.

 

Do you really think that will make one happy? Trying to settle scores with an old , immobile lady? Taking advantage of someone's vulnerability? And then there are threads like how one woman is another woman's worst enemy.

If we do what our Mils did to us, how does it make us any different from them. Since we also talk about Karmas, let's leave their karmas to them and ours to them. I shouldn't also forget that If I take advantage of someone's vulnerability and treat someone so bad,Mr. Chitragupt who is recording all my actions up there will happily return all my karmas to me when my time comes. And all this I will get back in this lifetime. An eye for an eye will only make the family blind. Where has all the empathy gone these days?

 

If they illtreat the dil, they cannot expect her to take care at old age. Better to have the daughter or nurse .

 

Better not help at all and let someone else take care of them but I find it cruel when people say we take advantage of their vulnerability and ill treat them . By saying or even remotely supporting this , humanity has reached an all time low

 

Can you suggest what OP should do in this case. How to handle her abusing MIL and FIL.

 

Dear OP,

I too have and am still facing similar issue, where MIL is great and big rules the house and FIL only nods his head and adds some more and DH is only silent or sometime yells that he might take some action against me.

As I read the other posts as well, does karma come and bite MILs, I don't think so.

She made he give away my house after the house was passed from my parents to me. And now she wants her daughter to have her own house saved for a rainy day,even when she and her DH have one already. I don't understand her logic. Daughters and DIL are treated differently.

Anyways recently after 6 long years my FIL appreciated my cooking and the way I took care of guests recently at our place, providing them will all comforts and parting gifts for all including kids and elders.
So my FIL rewarded me with 1000 RS and said that he was very happy and many of them told him that he was lucky to have me as a DIL as no one has done anything so sweetly in the family including other siblings wives n all.

So I was happy and all, thats when I understood that keep them happy at that level only they will be satisfied. But it is not possible to do it always.

Anyways point is keep them satisfied with what you can do. There is a limit to everything.
Include your DH in discussing what are you doing weekend lunch, preparing something he likes and make it a point to tell him you made his favorite. I did this and now my DH likes it when he is fed his favorite. Same trying to do with IN laws.
Hope it bears fruit.

As for karma the more you do simple things for them it will give you some peace later don't think it will not.

Rupz.