What If? ..... Who Knows?

I always face very existential problems. In fact they so fill up my life, that the lid won't close anymore!!! So my problem right now is 'should I post this here or in relationships forum'. Being my favourite forum, I have decided to post this here.

So well, this is how it is. Have been nurturing this horrible viral fever and a cough which refuses to go away. It's been a month now and I have been on and off work. So how do I spend my time? Binge watch Netflix.

Today I have been watching a serial which brought me to back to the question about 'what if?' All along, when my parents tried to get rid of me in a socially acceptable manner, I always wondered, "What if I get married and then realize one fine day that I could have found someone better?" I decided to give it sufficient thought before I decided to take the leap - of hope, not faith. I have never been so trusting.

Still, there came a time when I jumped in the spirit of 'dil ne humse jo kaha, humne waisa hi kiya'. I mean, there are never any guarantees, right? So it has to be an intuitive decision. 'Aur kabhi phursat mein sochenge, accha tha ya tha bura'. Having turned down so many prospectives on just gut instinct, I followed it again when it told me to go ahead. Thereafter on many occasions, I have thought 'accha tha ya tha bura'. Each time the answer was "I couldn't have done better. I waited long enough and found the best I could. And then, what if I had chosen someone else - would that have been better or worse. Where I am is not exactly the worst situation I can be in. I can make something of this. In fact, there are so many positives which may not have been there in another situation." Does this sound shocking? Well, I don't think anyone (except an exceptionally lucky person or a very philosophical one) could say anything different in an arranged marriage situation, at least. I am just being honest. So if it is shocking, let go.

Today when watching the serial which is about a live-in relationship, with all the ups and downs of married life (except a piece of paper), some exactly the same ones I have faced in all these years, I had a moment of epiphany. Yes, just one more. (Wonder how many more there will be in years to come. May be this is the purpose of my existance - to have all these epiphanies!). As the main character says, "it can always be better. Only if one kept thinking of that all the time, one would never be happy." So it comes down to the same thing. Whether it be your home, your situation in life, your spouse, your job, your kids ..... whatever it be. There is no point thinking 'what if?' Things could certainly be a lot better. But then they could have been infinitely worse. So long and short of the story ..... there is no ONE BEST situation in life. There are only different possibilities with various permutations and combinations of good, bad, ugly. Just make the best of all the good that you have and as for the bad and ugly, remember it could be uglier or even ugliest. Also everything in life is changing. People change too. The same prince or princess charming one marries might just turn into a frog one day whereas every frog has the potential of changing into that prince or princess charming some fine day! So I continue to follow my heart when taking decisions. It has not misled me so much after all.

 

Seriously, Mahatma Gandhi said that? I spent a few years wondering which to follow in the past. Am glad to have my choice validated by a great soul.

Thanks a ton for the quick and lovely response.

 

Very true. Yet another possibility! It of course applies to everyone of every gender. That's why I mentioned prince and princess charming!

 

Talking of that, Geeta, I have started just LOVING karela. I could only eat it in sambar when I was a kid. Now I can thrive on it!

 

Oh wow! Had never heard that one before.