Many homemakers are told they are lazy,waste their time etc etc... I have seen my mom,many mothers who are homemakers and also my friends and even myself to an extent "working" at home... Many working women claim that they are homemakers too.agreed.but isn't the one who works at home also a working woman?or work is decided only on the basis of "salary"?? This thread is no way intended to start an argument.just curious.. An eg: Most housewives I know takes good care of her kids,inlaws.hubby comes home late at night and goes early in the morning.she gets up at early and makes proper breakfast. Lunch the she does her laundry,cleaning.home is always expected to be super clean as she is at home.housewives can't give excuses or say they r tired as she is at home.takes care of her elders.she does all grocery and other stuff .kids she makes sure to see their clothes are neat etc.she brings them back home.teaches them their studies etc.night dinner is again new then all vessels.all the work she does without any help cox she is at home.now I can get asked even women who work outside do all these things.sure they do.not denying they work hard and maybe housewives have lesser work than women who work outside but am sure we homemakers also at least do some work .why are at times they r termed carefree,no work etc?because they don't earn money?
Good question and it has its answer too. I aggree that i never do such good work at home like glittering clean house and proper food always etc just like homemakers does. I really appreciate them for the selfless creditless huge efforts they put in.
Here there is no argument as to who is best. Both are best if they chose to be the best in what they do. My mom and MIL are home-makers, but they hardly take any time-off even at their 60s. They are both very creative and innovate new dishes, new interior decor, and supervise their maids carefully. No wonder, we had a great childhood and a beautiful life. We have never seen them inferior or any less than their working counterparts. Because they managed to prove them self the best in what they did. But there are some home-makers, who are lazy. Too lazy to cook or do any usual chores. Some are not lazy, but not creative either. They suck with the usual routine stuff. It is like the office work... Some staff work hard, be creative. That gives them self satisfaction, plus promotion, good appreciation and a salary hike as a result. Some staff are too boring. They just do the routine work and never improve. Sure that there are levels of appreciation, and not everyone is appraised just because they are working in an office. Here, if a working woman can climb her career ladder, while taking great care of her family means hard work, passionate and the willingness to give the best in what he does. It needs to be appreciated. However, a home maker, who may not work outside, but has plenty of time for the family; thus her "providing" - not necessarily in terms of money, but care, love, cooking, maintaining a pleasant home etc... could be highly valued. A working woman does not have the luxury of time to provide the same at home. Most of the time we end up comparing a hard-working, working woman to a lazy home maker. If the competition is between a hard-working, working woman to a hard working home maker, I guess both are same. Just that they win appreciations for their hard working.
I have never felt that home makers are carefree or lazy..the expectations from housewives are more w.r.t maintaining the home, child care , cooking , household chores etc when compared to a working mom...home makers often have to entertain guests on a regular basis which requires considerable efforts.
On what basis you say home makers often have to entertain guests? Because guests come based on your relationship with them. I am so much a social person. I have more friends, and many of our relatives are too friendly with me. This ends up in more guests at my place compared to my siblings' places. Since my mom lives with me, all her "people" do visit our place to spend time with her. So, it is a lot. However, I am a working woman. My relatives who are home-makers, have few guests coming over to their place. So, this comparison can't be real. In fact, it is a tough job for a working woman to entertain guests than a home-maker. The time you spend in your house while your guests are around matters. Due to which, I have reduced the invites to a considerable level. Now a days guests visit us only during weekends, that too if I am ready/free to host them. With kids and other stressful family matters to handle, I am in no mood to entertain guests now. However, my bro does this job very coolly on my behalf.
Actually I m speaking from personal experience of mine and relatives..when I was working I did not have to entertain that many guests as I had hectic schedule and would be busy on weekends also..Also people did not have expectation from me to do anything special.. On working days any people who visited would have to be looked after by MIL...but once I lost my job and became a home maker I was often forced to invite people to stay , that too beyond my comfort level..I would have some other personal work to attend to or would just need a break from household chores or was unwell but I was not on a position to refuse as " I was anyway sitting at home".. I had to do majority of the work when anyone visited..most people I know usually will not ask working ladies to host them for more than a day as they will be busy with work and not have much time to attend to them but if someone is a homemaker they will stay that that persons home for many days, as they are "available"..one of my cousin is married into joint family and every alternate day someone or the other keeps dropping in for lunch..every week there will be relatives staying over..when she was working her MIL used to cook for them..after she left her job her MIL has left the entire responsibility to her..she has to cook single handedly for 10 To 12 people at a time..poor thing hardly gets time to take rest. The tiredness of cooking 3 meals for that many people along with tea and snacks is as tiring as working in office sometimes. That is why I felt that both working ladies and home makers have their own challenges and we cannot generalise that someone is lazy just because they are not working in office. Working women and home makers both work hard and in different ways...it's just that the expectations and roles are slightly different.
Sad to read this.. In fact, your problem is not being a home maker, rather the biggest problem is the lack of ownership of your own life. You are trying to escape from this problem by working outside. That's not a permanent solution. Let me explain this to you. You may be living with your in laws. But it doesn't mean you are a guest at their place. You are a living resident at your OWN house. If their culture strictly says that you/DIL should live with PILs at their house after marriage, then it also clearly says that the DIL's home is changed from the time she tied the knot. Which means, she is officially a resident at the place where she is living. Right? So, as an adult, you should be able to make decisions on matters that are concerning to you. After all, if you can't make decisions for your life, at your HOME, where else you can freely make a decision? So, if hosting guests frequently is a matter of concern to you, then you should be able to raise this issue at your home. Make a full stop to this hosting guests matter. Your house is not a hotel or community hall, where anyone can come and stay. Since your PILs too share the house with you, let them host their guests as much as they want. But refuse to do any seva beyond your level. Working or non working shouldn't be a factor to decide your own comfort level at your own home. In my post, I meant hosting guests. Which is voluntary. The decision is yours. Even 5 guests are at my house today. I've cooked their B'fast and made a biryani for their lunch. My mom and maid would take care of their other needs, as I am at office right now. The guests are my own sister and her in laws. I have whole-heartedly invited them. So, happily doing this extra work to make their stay pleasant. However, what I read from your post is entirely different. It seems you are forced to host/rather do seva to someone's guests. That's why you are repenting. Feeling helpless, as you are a home-maker. You think, working outside home might help you to escape from this abuse. Yes, it is an abuse.
