Is it karma? is it fate?

Is it fate? Is it Karma?

My husband is working in the field of distillery. I started my life from 1987.He is very much interested in his career not only that strong in his subject. Wherever he finds a liquor bottle start gathering the news about that factory and immediately apply to that factory.

More than 2 years he could not be in the same company. His attitude will change. In the begining I encouraged that since because he is going for higher elevation .In 1991 we came to chennai built a nice house at mangadu and I got the of EDP supdt in Tamilnadu Transport corporation. Almost settled. That time he got a chance in govt distillery.

I said do not go. But he went away .Because of that I got transfer to Trichy and I had to leave my job atlast due to so many reasons. In 1991 we started living separate places . He asked me to take leave. Shall I ask him leave my job say No. Since he is busy 99% I will go and meet him.

I like travel so I never mind about that. Then even from most of the places he wont relieve with normal procedures. He will never mind about that and join another place.He will always go for higher level and get higher salary also.So I could not stop him.

Afer certain period he start coming out without getting another job. Those period I took him to our own house vacating the tenant and stay there till he is getting another job.My parents are not happy about that. But I would convince them that appa he will get better job than this.

In the mean period I qualified myself and settled in IT job. He wanted to do water business and I kept the house in bank and given the money. Gone. He could not. Next c hemical business. loss. Stopped.

Started searching for job. Sent to Bombay Alfa lavel . 50k spent from my credit card. He could not be there without car. Turned back. I got additional loan from bank and closed the credit bill. I have to pay EMI for 2 house loans, children are studying. Oh God. I do not know how could I balanced. Jewels helped a lot. Now I started to breath he got a nice job in Karnataka. He said without car I wont go. So got a second hand car and sent him.

Only 2 months. They sent him back since he went and consult with other company. With lot of struggle I disposed the car. Then he was going here and there. He could not be placed for another 1 year since his bad profile. He is so talented but his attitude spoiled everything.


Now i resigned my job for my daughter XIIth std. Both of us are at home . I feel so bad about my children. When he is in job they will be luxurious suddenly they have nothing. We could not bear the flucuations. I will buy the provisions 4 3 months by my credit card since the children could not suffer.

I will be going to job. He will not help me with involvement. The way he do I will ask him to leave. Suffer suffer suffer. One stage I asked god to take me to a jungle. We could not face our relatives. If we laugh they will laugh with us, if we cry, they will laugh at a distance.

He will earn . i will save. When he rest at home we will spend all. I disposed my dream house and settled all loans. My parents supported me a lot. My children studied well I concentrated on that.

Why I am saying all that? My 2 daughters got married and we are in a nice place you all have seen my garden. Yesterday he went for an interview.Here job security is there. If he goes somewhere, I could not imagine what will happen? He is 58years.

Now if he has to join a new company, within 1 month we have to vaccate, my younger daughter comes after 2 years from US. Just imagine how it will be in shifting?

I had total trust on him. So I allowed him to be free. Lost so much. Atleast last period he could consider. Am i rt? But even now without worrying about the future he is playing.

In my life because of 11 or 12 shiftings, I lost many almarahs, fans, gas cylinders, cot , half paid LIC polices many. Even now if they do not get lesson what to do my dear friends? What we want in life? Why we work? Everything for peaceful life. But where he goes? I am fully involved myself in spiritual practices and reading. He is like that.

Why God is matching like that I do not know. Throughout the life I go along with him. Is it my mistake? Even now I could not give up him to any one. Shall I worry about wasted my life by deep trust had on him? AM i made mistake by encouraged him? Whatver may be Still we are living together. I respect him since for 1 point he is earning for us.

Only after 25 years I could understand him slowly. So is it my mistake? Could I handle him in a different way? I am asking all these questions to myself. May be it is my karma. Thats my fate.

I can not change him but let me live according to the environment God gives.
Whatever be the environment i could change accord to me. Everything happens for good.