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General Discussion On Why There Is No Change

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by sindmani, Aug 17, 2017.

  1. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    I am happy that women are working in all spheres from Engineers to doctors , scientists, chartered accountant to IPS..They are doing Ms,MD, PhD . But still why there is this system of saying we are weaker gender, gender discrimination, this all leading to DOWRY.
    Strictly a gift(DOWRY) should not be by force. There are rich parents or upper middle class parents who GIFT (DOWRY) their daughter and they won't be drained by it. But what about Less fortunate people. Why should they suffer.
    An incident of a girl is making Me write this. She paid DOWRY to her in-laws by taking loan from her office. So her payment was deducted every month . this infuriated her in-laws and she was sent away to get parents home. She is known to my close relative and we are really bothered about her future.
     
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  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    First of all, I would blame these educated girls for this dowry system.
    Earlier they were just like goods. Having no value of their own, they were sold.
    They were considered a pain and responsibility by their parents, as no one liked girl child back then.
    You know the history of female infanticide in rural India. It is still there, perhaps in different forms, yet the Government is cautious about Gender scanning during pregnancy.

    The men or their family has no reason to change this practice, that benefit them. They will never do anything about changing it.
    But these women, who have evolved from a useless goods to useful educated human beings, should consider the changes.
    They should be the change that they expect in their society.

    Who is your society? It is you and your fellow human beings.
    If several of YOU (s) could change, this society will automatically changed.

    I came from an upper middle class family. Being the eldest DD, I had everything saved/planned by my parents for my marriage. They called it gifts, and they know it is no different from dowry.
    Based on whatever they had planned to give me as gifts, they searched for the prospective groom for me.
    Eg: If you have 1 crore a doctor, 1.5 crore an engineer, .75 crore a lawyer, like that

    But I refused to take any gifts from my parents. I was confident that I can earn everything and settle in my life on my own.
    Like me, many of my friends refused to give dowry or gift on demand.

    But as you said, some educated women take loans, or allow their parents to sell everything to make a decent dowry on their wedding.
    Why are they doing it?
    Are they not confident enough about their self worth?
    Isn't it sad to start your life in such a state of mind?
    How do they expect their money minded greedy husband and PIL would do justice to their life?
    How do they stay happily at their marital home, by knowing their old father would be struggling at his retirement age to pay off the loans due to this hefty dowry?

    And more importantly, how come they think it is even all-right to treat men and women equally?
    While men being the lucky charm for each family, I am sure any parents would consider their DD a responsibility.

    We must change before we expect the world to change for us.
     
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  3. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    Ask the girl to register a complaint to book them under dowry case. And why should she give dowry? She's educated. Why she accepted for dowry?
     
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  4. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    . A plight of an educated working woman is this , then what about less fortunate ladies who are struggling to make their ends meet . I don't understand . unless every parent who has a daughter(even if they have Sons also) and the daughters together need to voice out their opinion as we won't give or take DOWRY. UNITY IS IMPORTANT. BUT it needs lot of understanding. DOWRY IS what I SEE AS AN ECONOMIC ACTIVITY , THERE IS A DEMAND FROM GROOM'S SIDE. PLUS BRIDE'S PARENTS ARE READY TO SUPPLY. They are doing so to ensure good life for their daughter. But it is not the case.
     
  5. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Pressure of parents to get her married soon.that is why she took loan for DOWRY. around 5 lakhs was the DOWRY plus gold n diamond. Her parents have other daughters too studying. Being elder they wanted to get her married soon because her sisters will get good alliance only if she leads a happy life. Her father is suffering for the family. She wanted to help him. I wish her mil understands their family 's sufferings .
     
  6. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry I got mentally agitated by ur thread on dowry. Anyway is she still interested in her married life? What abt her husbands interest on this.
     
  7. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    what is the effing husband doing????
    Sorry, sometimes these so called men piss me off :rage:
     
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  8. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Her husband is not supportive , her state to say is a traumatic state. As u say it is a worrying situation . But every problem willed to a solution. I am praying for her peace of mind for her to decide her future.
     
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  9. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Her husband is not supportive.
     
  10. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry if this posts make u worried. I just wanted this thread to be an eye opener for parents and daughters. A parent's responsiblity is not providing DOWRY but giving her skills and confidence to take care if herself.
     
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