Marriage Counselling: Thumbs Up Or Down? Questions?

hey, am not sure about a counselor. I have never been to visit one whenever i had any issues. The idea of opening up to an entirely new person who has no idea about me or doesn't know anything about me was a little uncomfortable for me.

I did however share my issues with my close friends who were fortunately good enough in pointing out my mistakes as well when i went wrong.

I feel everything depends on who you are comfortable with at the end of the day. If you feel your friends might be partial or judgmental then maybe a counselor is a better option.

 

The idea of going to a counsellor is talking to a non judgemental person and seeing ur views through a different angle. It's just like when u are standing in a front of a mirror, ur left hand is the images right. The counsellor will make u see this that there is no point of argument.

 

Choose a qualified, professional counsellor and it would be excellent. The person being a stranger means one has no pressure to act a particular way.

A counsellor is NOT an advisor- a lot of people do not seem to inderstand this! A cousellor would help the person hone a strategy to face their problems. The counsellor would only be an enabler to help the person work out how to solve the problem in an acceptable manner. The strategy that one person might follow won't be right for someone else.

Going to a counsellor is excellent provided one has chosen a good one.

 

Hello Ri!

I don't know if there are professional advisors - I should hope not! Advisors are well-meaning family/ friends/ religious figures/ you and I, here who suggest a solution to problems.

A counsellor, at least the brilliant one I went to, and a few others I've heard about do not offer suggestions. They listen. They prod. They give some much needed validation. Mine would repeatedly ask what I thought I should do. What other choices I thought I had. Helped my structure my thoughts and brain storm. Finally helped arrive at a strategy to take action when I was ready. Then supported me when I chickened out and decided to do something else completely. Essentially helped sift through thoughts -even insane ones- without judgement.

 

Which is why it's not usually a case of 'one counselor fits all'. It can often take a few tries to find someone who meshes with your needs and personality. The right person can be a tremendous help, but the flip side is often true as well.