Am I good mom?

Beating a child is very wrong and it is also a crime. Two year olds are like that, they have their tantrums, they do not obey, they are showing their own will. One of the reasons may be that you are alone in a foreign place.

Try to make a routine of your day. Breakfast, go out to the park/playground, then lunch, nap (if she still naps) and again hit the playground. Kids are easier to handle when they have routines and can take out their energy outside. Try to get friends in the neighborhood and you can meet up together with the kids. Try to sign up for some own hobby or activity in the weeknights/weekends and leave your child with your hubby. Try to involve your child in the household chores, let her help you cleaning, let her stir the food, let her fold the clothes etc.

You are the best mom your child has .

 

@BuviVishal:


She is just 2 and it is quite normal for little ones to be involved in what they find is attractive than obey instructions. If you find yourself in a tensed situation again, try and wait for few minutes before you react. This needs practice, but it will help eventually. Next time you can tell your LO to take a bindi if she wants to and bring the socks - with a smile - or that if she can bring the socks first, she will get to wear a bindi she likes. Yelling or hitting her will only scare her.


Other than this:
- a change of place for you is a change of place for her too. She may be expressing how she is adapting differently. It is possible that she is feeling the difference but is not able to tell that to you yet.
- the reaction time for kids and adults is different. Adults have one thing planned after the other and we rush to finish them one by one. Kids have no agenda planned and they are supposed to be this way at this age. Slowly establishing a routine and directing her on what should be done first and what comes next will help.


Have you considered joining her in a playschool or arranging play dates for her? Children learn and thrive in the company of ther children and that could help you both. If that's not possible, try and includer her in as many activities you do as possible. Have patience, things will change.


Yes, you are a good mom!

 

You are a good mom. But, try not to beat her for any Danny reason, not even in the name of discipline. Simply, beating a kid is an act of abuse. Good moms Don't abuse

 

Kids don't obey. They initially listen, yes. Then they start developing a mind of their own. It is a sign of intelligence. You want her to do something, tell her gently and do it with her. Shouting and screaming and corporal punishment will make your child sneaky - hey will do things behind your back.

Tell her, bring me your socks and stick around focusing on her until she does it. Praise her and give her plenty of attention when she does it. Kids crave attention regardless of whether it is positive or negative. She knows she will get your attention- albeit negative - by not listening

i recommend that you watch shows of supernanny - it has great child rearing and disciplining tips. Remember that the child will remain a child - as a parent we will have to change our outlook and approach to handle with them effectively and with love.

 

Guesshoo gave good advice. Take also into account that when a child at that age is hungry/thirsty/tired she will be cranky no matter what. Then it is important to feed her or put to bed. It is good that she is showing her will (by throwing tantrums etc), you do not want to raise her becoming an obedient person without an own will.

 

Buvana,

tell yourself a few times..

Varsha is just two. she is learning watching me. she is trying to test limits to check how far she can go. i need to observe, enjoy and not scream or yell at her.

when she was a crawling what did you do.. did you hit her for moving away from the bedsheet or whatever the area boundary you had..no you would have picked her and put her back telling her to be sweet, sweety..

And tell yourself, i will only listen to advice that suits me, i will try to understand my baby better and follow what works for us. i am not going to compare, or allow others judgement of being my baby's mother effect me. i am doing what i can.. repeat this to yourself a few times, you need it..

she has a brain of her own, that guides her to test her new skills, reaching the next shelf, trying to put a stool and climb and reach out..all these are nice skills that need to be honed by teaching them what is not right for her now, and that she would get hurt.don't we take pride in the learning of new skills as they grow up.

the main thing you need to understand, that many people are doing what your are doing alone. you are being stressed out thinking you are in a difficult situation. tell yourself this is a phase and you will be better.

remember that your little girl had lot of people around when she was in india, pampered and had abundant attention. there she has only you to talk to, play with. you need to manage your time better until both of you settle into a better routine or until she goes to school. talk to her. play with her, and yes take your husband's help if managing the household alone is hard for you right now.

and please don't hit her and yell at her. if she does not bring the socks, go with her, take the socks, and tell her these were the socks i asked you to bring. be with her, allow her to assimilate. and don't just say no to the bindi. maybe you should tell her that she will mess the carpet, the bed and things if the bindi falls. she can ask you for the bindi if she wants to get a bindi.

valarka theriyala, varlarpu sariyilla are all big words..just relax, go with the flow.

 

Hi OP,

You are good mom but you need to get awareness about toddlers physical, mental and behavioral details.

Please read this book:

Amazon.com: The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition eBook: Harvey Karp Md: Books


explains How the brain is not yet developed, so they don't have logic, but they can understand your emotions very well.
Explains How to communicate so toddler can understand.