Who are In Laws?

Dear Friends,

As Indians, we have grown up to respect our elders. We believe that elders know what is best for us and we should always listen to them. However as we turn into adults, many still continue to believe that elders can give us the best advice and we cannot turn them away.
Let me tell you something. Elders know what is best for you only till a certain age- Until you reach adulthood. After that you are just like them- Adults. They make mistakes just like you make mistakes.

Now that being said, once we get married, our in laws are the new elders in ur life. Some of them are first time inlaws- and first time in laws are like children. They dont know how to approach their DIL/SIL and they make mistakes. LOTS and LOTS of mistakes in some cases. But mistakes are good because if they dont make mistakes how will they learn? You too, will be DIL or SIL for first time. Mistakes are bound to happen. They also think that because they are "elders", they don't have to change anything.

When your In laws ask you for unreasonable things and tell you to do stuff that doesn't make sense, you have to understand that they are making a mistake. Look at them like they are PEOPLE. Not "elders" , not "parents" but just people like you and me who are bound to make mistakes. If you can, call them out on those mistakes. If you dont want t call them out, just ignore it and move on in your life keeping the fact that what they did was a mistake. Forgive the mistake and move on. Do this for your sake, not for their sake. If you dont want them to repeat the mistake, tell them politely not to do it again. If they do it again, tell them again.
For example if MIL orders you around by saying "make tea for me" Understand first that she is making a mistake by ordering you around. Second, don't do anything. Don't make the tea for her. Instead politely say no. There is no need to explain why you said no. Just say no, because they need to learn how to start expecting no as an answer. After saying no, continue to do what you were doing. Dont lose focus on your everyday activities.
Two things can happen when you say "no" to someone. One the person will not venture to asking you anything else for fear of receiving another "no" as answer and second, they might ask "why not". If the first thing happens then congrats, if the second thing happens then you will have to explain why not. You can always say "Because I dont think you should be talking to me like that. It is hurtful and demeaning."
Even is she wants to complain to DH, she cant because she will have nothing to complain about. She was the one who made the mistake in the first place. You only said no and nothing else.

Friends, This tactic always works and is fool proof. As a DIL you are not born with responsibility to take care of ILs. That is your husbands responsibility, not yours. Try to keep as much distance as possible from ILs- whether nice or bad people it doesnt matter. Distance and boundaries are always a good thing. I have notice ILs always respect the DIL who sticks to boundaries and says no when she does not want to do something. It shows maturity, dignity and self respect. Remember, you cant respect anyone when you dont have self respect. Hold you head up high! You are no lesser that anyone else in the world just because your a DIL.

 

Thats excatly where your wrong. MIL : " make tea"
DIL: "NO"

Dont say anything else