ADHD - How to deal with it

Harini73 · Mar 11, 2015

Hi,

Last week my child was diagnosed with ADHD and they have asked us to go for some therapies.
For the past 3 days I am searching articles regarding ADHD and getting more and more confused. Any idea how to deal with it and what will be the effect.

My 6 years old child is very active and she always runs and shouts and otherwise she is normal.In school she is not concentrating and disturbs others and she is interested to play or dance the whole day.The minute you ask her to sit and study she will have hundred reasons for not sitting and studying. :thumbsdownRest other activities also she will not concentrate much.She will draw and color for 5 minutes and go for carom board next and that also will be abandoned and she will start playing with the dollswaitingsmiley.
Can anyone throw light on this.Is there any other alternate treatment available. How will this ADHD affect my baby in the long run.

Looking for some guidelines and help to deal with it.

Sweetgirl123 · Mar 11, 2015

Oh, best thing you will need is patience. I only have an add kid but it can be difficult as well. You will have to adjust your expectations and approach from those of normal kids. But with the right strategies , she will probably turn out fine. The challenges will just be different from other kids.
She could probably benefit from kids yoga and martial arts training, because these are strucualized learning environments with positive reinforcements ( if the right people teach, check out the school before signing up)
a lot of adhd kids have problems with being overwhelmed with emotions and expressing them, that's why they are recommended for behavioral therapy.

Sweetgirl123 · Mar 11, 2015

Ok I can't edit my reply
but you will have to follow with the therapies and work together with the therapists . You will have to sit with her and do the homework together as a team. Most kids are expected to do it on their own, this is something that is not going to happen with your kid. You need to be there with your full attention at all times and really do this with her. Adhd kids can have a very bad short term memory if certain things are too long, which is why a lot of learning methods concentrate on breaking it down, into smaller chunks. But I don't know if your kid has any learning disability as well, so I am not going to go into it.
If you find she has problem focusing, you might want to try studying with a white noise. In the back ground.
At any rate , you need to keep her on a structured schedule and explain,explain and explain why we are doing this and not that right now. And it is better to not overload the kid with to many choices. And it's going to be hard but if they find things interesting they can fully immerse themselves into a theme. Problem is with things they don't find interesting. And because they tend to frusterated easily and give up easily, you need to find things they can do and are good at and work it up.
its much easier to deal with them if they have little to no computer, iPad or TV time.
you can try supplemting fish oil as well, but overall adhd most likely something she will be dealing with the rest of her life.

jskls · Mar 11, 2015

Hi OP

Go for therapies as suggested by the doctor but there are parents who have refrained from giving any medications to their kids. They just turn fine when they grow into teens. There's something called 504 ADHD accommodation plan in US that lets the teacher work with parent for the student to develop a different lesson plan to accommodate the kids need. Patience and identifying the right interest to retain their focus is the key. Also do not let your child to be branded as ADHD. this will be a disadvantage to the kid if the teachers are not understanding and also will retain the badge even when they grow out of it. It might look like they are not focusing, but they might still be listening/learning and some kids get frustrated/bored because they are not challenged enough in the right way. Here if the kid is 6 yrs old the focus expected is 5-10 mins and not more in one activity. They do lot of fidgeting and can't keep still. but they will outgrow it soon. Let her focus on what interests her and see if u can prolong her focus in that activity bit by bit. In school you have to work with the teacher and not sure if the school is accommodative. As another poster suggested white noise or some instrumental music helps

Good luck and take it easy. Your daughter will turn out fine.

Harini73 · Mar 12, 2015

Hi @Sweetgirl123,

Thanks for your reply and as you have suggested probably I will inquiry about Yoga near our place and enroll her.

As of now she is having smart class in her school apart from that we are not allowing her to use our computer or ipad. But she watches Pogo for 1 hour during week days and 2 hours during weekends. I will try to reduce it .

She seems to be interested in dancing and running,probably I will discuss with the therapists and enroll her in dance class. Currently she is going to music class,probably I can change it do dance class.
As you pointed out we need sit with her for her to complete her homework or even for her to study we need to be with her.
Regarding this white background I am little confused.what exactly should I do.yo mean to say no T.V ,No noise etc.Can you explain this pleae

Harini73 · Mar 12, 2015

Hi @jskls,

Thanks for your reply.Doctor has not recommended any medication as of now. He advised us to go for therapy and we have enrolled her yesterday only.
Yes I also agree with you that we should not brand her as ADHD. Actually the problem started from school only. Her class teacher has literally made her like a rowdy.
She never sits quiet in her class it seems and after 10 minutes either she talks with her friends/drawing/walk around the class etc.If all this fails she will ask for water rest room etc it seems.shakehead
If the teacher punishes her for disturbing the class by making her stand out,she will stand there for some seconds and then she walks out to play ground starts playing it seems.:notthatway::hide:. Or else if she is forced to sit in a place either inside the class or outside the class she falls asleep.:thumbsdown

This has pissed of her teacher.I was also having some other issues in my brothers family and was not concentrating on her.Then we were called to school,but the principal was understanding and she only asked us to check for ADHD and pacified the teacher.

jskls · Mar 12, 2015

Hi @Harini73

I exactly understand what you are saying and the teacher's reaction too. It's not your fault. now science is advanced that they try to name each and every thing as a disorder. Teacher has to understand that punishing is not going to work. It could lead to lying or binge eating without any remorse too. Maybe a montessori system other than conventional learning could help. sometimes kid may be under challenged as they get bored or not interested in the subject. I know one such kid who turned into a perfectly fine teenager. one such 3rd grade kid would be writing all the elements in the periodic table with its atomic number in a language class. They just need to learn differently and in small chunks. Yes working with your child's teacher is the only option.

Laks09 · Mar 14, 2015

Hi Harini,
i read your post yesterday but couldn't respond. You wanted to know how you could help your child with ADHD. My dd is older. I figured her troubles much later. We didn't get a definitive DX but her teachers helped me fix most of her issues with impulsiveness and activity. From experience, I know it is important to have understanding teachers. The one in India kept belittling her. Only after I moved to the US did the teachers help me. I didn't to for therapy since we managed with whatever the counsellors and teachers at school told us. The psychologist told us she thought she was borderline and we would watch and see. In a year she outgrew all her issues with help. There are amazing teachers and moms in India. Please network and get some ideas on how to help.

Here are a few tips-
1) Behavioural therapy works only when followed up at home and school. Please follow up at home. Don't do anything the therapists ask you to avoid, it will give the child the idea that she can get away doing things outside of therapy that isn't encouraged in therapy. This is with experience with my son, dd had no therapies.

2) Since her activity levels are fairly high she needs a high activity sport that will help her expend her energy. Mine loved to swim and was motivated to take part in swim teams. I enrolled her in a swim team. She swims for 1.5hrs everyday. It is important to find a sport that helps expend her energies - tennis, volleyball, taekwondo, karate, swimming, biking etc. dance will be hard because she needs strict discipline and focus. Plus those initial steps may bore her. Let her do some enjoyable activity where she doesn't need to watch herself all the time. Maybe she can start dance after the age of eight when she will have much more control of her impulses.

3) She needs a routine to help her. She needs to know what she has to do from wake up until bed time. Don't vary the routine much for her attention span is less. She can't focus for long enough to learn the new routine.

4) keep things organized and make her put things in its place. They lack organisational skills. If she has one place for one thing, it will help her become organized.

5) If she has homework or studies a stop watch is your best friend. Get her to sit for one problem or ten minutes(use the stop watch). Break up her studies. Don't ask her to do the entire homework/studying in one go. Give her a part of it. Start the stop watch. When she finishes, reward her with something tangible. I used to let mine just relax for 3-4 mins(stop watch). Continue the process in 30-45 mins blocks. Mine needed only about an hour to finish of her HW.

6) Don't let her run and jump unneseccarily at home. She is of an age where she should understand that sit means sit. It's hard to control her impulses. Try and get her interests in drawing or reading or some other activity she thinks is fun that she can do sitting down.

7)Don't blame her for her impulsiveness and don't take it personally. She has no control over it. Let it go. Keep reminding her and follow the therapist. It will get under control.

8) She can focus better on things she likes. In fact she may have hyper focus on things that interest her. If she is doing something that really interests her it will be hard to distract her from the task. Try to gauge her interests and see if you can work on those things at home. Music/drawing etc may help if she really likes it.

9) she has no control over her words. She will say inappropriate things or jump in and give answers when not required. She will hate waiting for her turn.
Model these things for her. If you have a friend with a kid of the same age, have her come over. Play some board games with the two. Make your dd wait for her turn. Don't use more than two peers, that's all she can tolerate.

Talking out of turn requires practice and patience. At home, with you or GPs when she does it, don't let it go. Remind her that it isn't her turn to talk. Let her have a chance only after you finish what you are saying. Make her wait to talk. It's very important to teach that right away.

From a school perspective, it's hard when the teachers have so many kids. Of course she will go play in the play ground when made to stand outside class. What kind of a punishment is that for a 6yrs old? I suggest you work on her at home and try to explain the therapy concepts to the teacher. She should be told that it isn't your child's fault that she is impulsive and hyperactive. She isn't able to control herself. With therapy and positive reinforcement she will get better. It's always good to praise every small positive change you see.
Tagging @shanvy for other tips from a school perspective.
Dont worry, your dd is a regular kid. I think just redirecting her energies to something constructive will work. Mine did well by herself after that one tough year. After she hit puberty, she is a different child. Very mature and the impulses are so much under control. Hang in there.

Shanvy · Mar 14, 2015

@Laks09 thanks for the tag. @harini73 i agree with laks on the dealing..and would like to add some more, the morning session i am a little busy, but will definitely share my experience.

i had ADHD boy, now i don't consider him hyperactive at all nor do any of my close friends, he has changed a lot.

Even today he is the person who is taken as example for the naughtiness, hyperactiveness when niece and nephews who have kids complain on their kids being handful. been there with him.

Shanvy · Mar 14, 2015

Harini73 said: ↑

Hi,

Last week my child was diagnosed with ADHD and they have asked us to go for some therapies.
Click to expand...

Good that you have caught it early. don't wait to start therapy. instant is the key here. she will benefit from the therapy.

For the past 3 days I am searching articles regarding ADHD and getting more and more confused. Any idea how to deal with it and what will be the effect.
Click to expand...

@harini73 do you have the patience to wade through so many pages, then do read this thread here, it had wonderful information and loads of guidance. read with an open mind and don't analyse and compare things with your daughter until you are clear.
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...87809-mental-health-awareness-in-schools.html
. I miss RAma a lot.so do a few others..

My 6 years old child is very active and she always runs and shouts and otherwise she is normal .In school she is not concentrating and disturbs others and she is interested to play or dance the whole day.The minute you ask her to sit and study she will have hundred reasons for not sitting and studying. :thumbsdownRest other activities also she will not concentrate much.She will draw and color for 5 minutes and go for carom board next and that also will be abandoned and she will start playing with the dollswaitingsmiley.
Click to expand...

classic textbook symptoms for adhd. you cannot do anything other than accept her as she is. the moment you are clear, things will look better. and another thing is do not allow the teacher or anybody to call her rowdy or anything..ane please please ensure no body calls up or refers to her adoption at any point because of this adhd. knowing how much you people love her i am sure, you will be careful, but just an added caution from another mom.

the child has a restlessness a need to do something. an anxiety that translates itself as hyperactivity. even a normal child can't sit in a place for more than 5 minutes.

Can anyone throw light on this.Is there any other alternate treatment available. How will this ADHD affect my baby in the long run.
Click to expand...

I would suggest yoga for discipline and channelizing her thoughts. though initially it will be difficult for her but it will definitely help her and especially from someone who teaches similar people.

i remember one lata lakshminarayan, (there was an article by her in woman's era too )who is into special camps for kids in the spectrum.
Special children exposed to new activities | YOCee – The website for the young people in Chennai

you can also enquire if she has any special programme for parents, you will benefit when you are able to understand her better to help her. maybe a few classes/sessions within a group of similar people will enable you more.

Other ways -
allow her to expend her energy. how about doing a barter system with her on her favorite dance time and study time. say she finishes 10 minutes of her studies she can have 5 minutes of dance.you cannot make her sit for long but control will come with age and therapy and support.( get a funny funky timer. i had one that resembles a chef and another that resembles a lemon and another like a cat.now it is just a voice recording as he has grown up.)

also encourage and applaud all her effort whenever she does 10 minutes of her work without any issues. eve if it is 5 minutes motivate her..she will get there.

Sports : allow her to play and be active. let her not play games that she needs to sit and concentrate until she wants to . that said i could make my son play chess after he got hooked playing it on computer with fun chess, with voice interactiion and fun.

Organization - as @laks09 says they are very poor. they need a little extra nudge and push. i still call on him with take1 and 1 free offer. .like he takes a pair of sock from the wardrobe, there will be another pair lying down. it is not his fault, he cannot do it right. but he is slowly getting there with my counselling him that there will not be mom to pick after him when he moves to hostel. but the day they are in a mood..mmuaah love them. they do it so well.

Obeying to commands that takes a lot of affirmations, talking and patience.what worked then..
if i want him to stop doing something he is doing, i tell him x stop it now, than xx stop it now, xxx(That is his full name) and that means he has to follow and has no choice. it works even today. and another thing is i count from 1 to 10..very slowly but clear that i mean business. by the time i am at 5-7 he is back at his place where he should have been..
and even at 10 he does not budge, then i go on a silent mode and move out. it works even today.

They need a lot of appreciation and very less criticism.tell her that she has done the job beautifully, tell her you are so proud of her work. but always remember that you need to not go overboard on that. it would do them a lot of good if they have issues of being compared, criticised or made fun of outside.
they are a tad more sensitive so this helps along with making them stronger slowly after all they also need to face the world..
At the same time, there have been times when he has forgotten writing his homework or taking his workbook, and i have made myself stronger and have allowed him to face the consequences. twice/thrice and now he does not. he is more careful.

Healthy diets with lots of fruits.
lesser sugar though there are different theories that sugar does not have effect on adhd i found mine on a high with higher sugars.
REducing food that have preservatives..(calle me obsessed or whatever, by reducing food that had preservatives eg..chips, maggi noodles masala, some biscuits, and more) has helped in controlling my kiddo's wheezing and hyperactivity.
A well balanced diet - has also helped mine.

Consistency as a family- all of you in the family have to understand and be on the same page when it comes to discipline and expectations. it should not be you want her to go south, while your husband wants her to north. so it is better that both of you sit and discuss what you want to convey to her. it helps a lot to keep the child from confusing her with power struggles..

I would suggest hang in there,scale down your expectations, motivate and encourage her in her personal skills..you have to observe. these kids have a passion that can be channelled as young as your daughter..

Will come back and write more based on your feedback..